TOPPLETON'S    CLIENT. 


TOPPLETON'S   CLIENT 

OR 

A   SPIRIT  IN  EXILE 


BY 

JOHN     KENDRICK     BANGS 


NEW  YORK 
CHARLES  L.  WEBSTER  &  COMPANY 


P3 


TO 


F.  D.  S. 


912776 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 


PACK 

INTRODUCING  MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON    .  i 


CHAPTER  II. 
MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON  LEASES  AN  OFFICE    .      13 

CHAPTER  III. 

MR.    HOPKINS     TOPPLETON     ENCOUNTERS     A 
WEARY  SPIRIT 25 

CHAPTER   IV. 

THE  WEARY  SPIRIT  GIVES  SOME  ACCOUNT  OF 

HIMSELF 39 

CHAPTER  V. 

HOPKINS    BECOMES    BETTER    ACQUAINTED    WITH 

THE  WEARY  SPIRIT 55 

CHAPTER  VI. 
THE  SPIRIT  UNFOLDS  A  HORRID  TALE       .       .      73 

CHAPTER  VII. 
A  CHAPTER  OF  PROFIT  AND  Loss       ...      90 


Vlll  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

PACK 

FURTHER  DEVELOPMENTS  IN  THE  MAKING  OF  A 

NAME 107 

CHAPTER  IX. 
THE  CROWNING  ACT  OF  INFAMY   .        .        .        .124 

CHAPTER  X. 
THE  SPIRIT'S  STORY  is  CONCLUDED     .       .       .149 

CHAPTER  XI. 

TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW  AND  FORMS  AN 

OPINION 167 

CHAPTER  XII. 
TOPPLETON  MAKES  A  FAIR  START       .       .       .184 

CHAPTER  XIII. 
AT  BARN  CASTLE  HALL 201 

CHAPTER  XIV. 
THE  DINNER  AND  ITS  RESULT     .       .       .       .218 

CHAPTER  XV. 
BARN  CASTLE  CONFIDES  IN  HOPKINS    .       .        .232 

CHAPTER  XVI. 
MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON  MAKES  A  DISCOVERY    251 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

EPILOGUE  268 


TOPPLETON'S   CLIENT. 


CHAPTER  I. 

INTRODUCING   MR.    HOPKINS   TOPPLETON. 

MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON.;  Bajgrister^  c/ft London 
and  New  York,  was,  considered  by. his.  intimates 
a  most  fortunate  /young  ;'in,a:ri.'*.  ;  -Ke1'  was 
accounted  the  happy  possessor  of  an  income 
of  something  over  fifty  thousand  dollars  a  year, 
derived  from  investments  which  time  had  shown 
to  be  as  far  removed  from  instability,  and  as 
little  influenced  by  the  fluctuations  of  the  stock 
market,  as  the  pyramids  of  Egypt  themselves. 
Better  than  this,  however,  better  even  than 
personal  beauty,  with  which  he  was  plentifully 
endowed,  Mr.  Hopkins  Toppleton  was  blessed 
with  a  great  name,  which  he  had  received 
ready-made  from  his  illustrious  father,  late 
head  of  the  legal  firm  of  Toppleton,  Morley, 
Harkins,  Perkins,  Mawson,  Bronson,  Smithers 

B 


2  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

and  Hicks.  The  value  of  the  name  to  Hopkins 
was  unquestionable,  since  it  enabled  him,  at  his 
father's  death,  to  enter  that  famous  aggregation 
of  legal  talent  as  a  special  partner,  although  his 
knowledge  of  law  was  scant,  receiving  a  share 
of  the  profits  of  the  concern  for  the  use  of  his 
patronymic,  which,  owing  to  his  father's  pre 
eminent  success  at  the  Bar,  Messrs.  Morley, 
Harkins,  et  aL,  were  anxious  to  retain.  This 
desire  of  Mr.  Toppleton's  late  associates  was 
most  natural,  for  such  was  the  tremendous 
force  exerted  by  the  name  he  bore,  that  plaintiffs 
when  they^perceived  it  arrayed  in  opposition  to 
their  charms,  not..''infr.5quently  withdrew  their 
suitsr  or  pffeced  .te.rrAs  upon  .wjiich  any  defendant 
'  •'' 


of  sen'se  ••fiig'h^.be'iricijtcM  tp/compromise.  On 
the  other  hand,  when  a  defendant  found  him 
self  confronted  with  the  fact  that  Hopkins 
Toppleton,  Sen.,  had  joined  forces  with  the 
plaintiff,  he  usually  either  settled  the  claim 
against  him  in  full  or  placed  himself  beyond 
the  jurisdiction  of  the  courts. 

When  Toppleton,  Sen.,  died,  it  was  very 
generally  believed  that  the  firm,  whose  name 
has  already  been  mentioned  at  some  length, 
lost  not  only  its  head,  but  also  a  very  large 
proportion  of  its  brains,  —  a  situation  quite  as 
logical  as  it  was  unfortunate  for  the  gentlemen 
with  whom  Mr.  Toppleton  had  been  associated. 


INTRODUCING  MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON.    3 

Nor  was  this  feeling,  that  with  the  departure  of 
Toppleton,  the  illustrious,  for  other  worlds  the 
firm  was  deprived  of  a  most  considerable  portion 
of  its  claims  to  high  standing,  confined  to 
cavilling  outsiders.  No  one  recognized  the 
unhappy  state  of  affairs  at  the  busy  office  on 
Broadway  more  quickly  than  did  Messrs. 
Morley,  Harkins,  Perkins,  Mawson,  Bronson, 
Smithers,  and  Hicks  themselves,  and  at  the 
first  meeting  of  the  firm,  after  the  funeral  of 
their  dead  partner,  these  gentlemen  unani 
mously  resolved  that  something  must  be  done. 

It  was  at  this  meeting  that  Mr.  Hicks 
suggested  that  the  only  course  left  for  the 
bereaved  firm  to  pursue,  if  it  desired  to  remain 
an  aggressive  force  in  its  chosen  profession,  was 
to  retain  the  name  of  Toppleton  at  the  mast 
head,  and,  as  Mr.  Mawson  put  it,  "to  bluff  it 
out."  Mr.  Perkins  agreed  with  Mr.  Hicks,  and 
suggested  that  the  only  honest  way  to  do  this 
was  to  induce  Mr.  Toppleton's  only  son,  known 
to  all — even  to  the  clerks  in  the  office — as 
Hoppy,  to  enter  the  firm  as  a  full  partner. 

"  I  do  not  think,"  Mr.  Perkins  said,  "  that  it 
is  quite  proper  for  us  to  assume  a  virtue  that 
we  do  not  possess,  and  while  Hoppy — I  should 
say  Hopkins — has  never  studied  law,  I  think 
he  could  be  induced  to  do  so,  in  which  event 
he  could  be  taken  in  here,  and  we  should  have 

B   2 


4  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

a  perfectly  equitable  claim  to  all  the  business 
which  the  name  of  Toppleton  would  certainly 
bring  to  us." 

"  I  am  afraid,"  Mr.  Bronson  put  in  at  this 
point,  "  I  am  very  much  afraid  that  such  a 
course  would  require  the  entire  reorganization 
of  the  firm's  machinery.  It  would  never  do 
for  the  member  whose  name  stands  at  the  head 
of  our  partnership  designation,  to  be  on  such 
terms  of  intimacy  with  the  office  boys,  for 
instance,  as  to  permit  of  his  being  addressed  by 
them  as  Hoppy ;  nor  would  it  conduce  toward 
good  discipline,  I  am  convinced,  for  the  nominal 
head  of  the  concern  to  be  engaged  in  making 
pools  on  baseball  games  with  our  book-keepers 
and  clerks,  which,  during  his  lamented  father's 
life,  I  understand  was  one  of  the  lad's  most 
cherished  customs.  Now,  while  I  agree  with 
my  friend  Perkins  that  it  is  desirable  that  the 
firm  should  have  an  unassailable  basis  for  its 
retention  of  the  name  of  Toppleton,  I  do  not 
agree  with  him  that  young  Hopkins  should  be 
taken  in  here  if  we  are  to  retain  our  present 
highly  efficient  force  of  subordinates.  They 
would  be  utterly  demoralized  in  less  than  a 
month." 

"  But  what  do  you  suggest  as  an  alter 
native  ?  "  inquired  Mr.  Morley. 

"  I  believe  that  we  should  make  Hopkins  a 


INTRODUCING  MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON.    5 

special  partner  in  the  firm,  and  have  him  travel 
abroad  for  his  health,"  returned  Mr.  Bronson 
after  a  moment's  reflection. 

"  I  regret  to  say,"  objected  Mr.  Hicks,  "  that 
Hoppy's  health  is  distressingly  good.  Your 
point  in  regard  to  the  probable  demoralization 
of  our  office  force,  however,  is  well  taken. 
Hopkins  must  go  abroad  if  he  becomes  one  of 
us  ;  but  I  suggest  that  instead  of  sending  him 
for  his  health,  we  establish  a  London  branch 
office,  and  put  him  in  charge  on  a  salary  of, 
say,  10,000  dollars.  We  have  no  business 
interests  outside  of  this  country,  so  that  such  a 
course,  in  view  of  his  absolute  ignorance  of  law, 
would  be  perfectly  safe,  and  we  could  give 
Hoppy  to  understand  in  the  event  of  his  accept 
ance  of  our  proposition  that  he  shall  be  free  to 
take  a  vacation  whenever  he  pleases,  for  as 
long  a  period  of  time  as  he  pleases,  and  the 
oftener  the  better." 

"That's  the  best  plan,  I  think,"  said  Mr. 
Mawson.  "  In  fact,  if  Hoppy  declines  that 
responsible  office,  I  wouldn't  mind  taking  it 
myself." 

And  so  it  happened.  The  proposition  was 
made  to  Hopkins,  and  he  accepted  it  with 
alacrity.  He  did  not  care  for  the  practice  of 
the  law,  but  he  had  no  objection  to  receiving  an 
extra  ten  thousand  dollars  a  year  as  a  silent 


6  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

partner  in  a  flourishing  concern  with  head 
quarters  in  London,  particularly  when  his  sole 
duties  were  to  remain  away  from  the  office  on  a 
perpetual  vacation. 

"  I  was  born  with  a  love  of  rest,"  Hoppy  once 
said  in  talking  over  his  prospects  with  his 
friends  some  time  before  the  proposition  of  his 
father's  partners  had  been  submitted  to  him. 
"  Even  as  a  baby  I  was  fond  of  it.  I  remember 
my  mother  saying  that  I  slept  for  nearly  the 
whole  of  my  first  year  of  existence,  and  when  I 
came  to  my  school  days  my  reputation  with  my 
teachers  was,  that  in  the  enjoyment  of  recess 
and  in  assiduous  devotion  to  all  that  pertained 
to  a  life  of  elegant  leisure,  there  was  not  a  boy 
in  school  who  could  approach  me." 

The  young  man  never  railed  at  fate  for  com 
pelling  him  to  lead  a  life  which  would  have 
filled  others  of  robuster  ideas  with  ennui,  but 
he  did  on  occasions  find  fault  with  the  powers 
for  having  condemned  him  to  birth  in  a  country 
like  the  United  States,  where  the  man  of  leisure 
is  regarded  with  less  of  reverence  than  of  deri 
sion. 

"  It  is  a  no  harder  fate  for  the  soul  of  an 
artist  to  dwell  in  the  body  of  a  pork-packer," 
he  had  said  only  the  night  before  the  plan  out 
lined  by  Mr.  Hicks  was  brought  to  his  atten 
tion,  "  than  for  a  man  of  my  restful  tendencies 


INTRODUCING   MR.    HOPKINS   TOPPLETON.        7 

to  be  at  home  in  a  land  where  the  hustler  alone 
inspires  respect.  What  the  fates  should  have 
done  in  my  case  was  clearly  to  have  had  me 
born  a  rich  duke  or  a  prince,  whose  chief  duty 
it  would  be  to  lead  the  fashionable  world  and  to 
set  styles  of  dress  for  others  to  follow.  I'd 
have  made  a  magnificent  member  of  the  House 
of  Lords,  or  proprietor  of  a  rich  estate  some 
where  in  England,  with  nothing  to  do  but  to 
spend  my  income  and  open  horse  shows  ;  but  in 
New  York  there  is  no  leisure  class  of  recognized 
standing,  excepting,  of  course,  the  messenger- 
boys  and  the  plumbers,  and  even  they  do  not 
command  the  respect  which  foreign  do-nothings 
inspire.  It's  hard  luck.  The  only  redeeming 
feature  of  the  case  is  that  owing  to  a  high  tariff 
I  can  spend  my  money  with  less  effort  here  than 
I  could  abroad." 

Then  came  the  proposition  from  the  firm,  and 
in  it  Hoppy  recognized  the  ingredients  of  the 
ideal  life — a  life  of  rest  in  a  country  capable  of 
understanding  the  value  to  society  of  the  drones, 
a  life  free  from  responsibility,  yet  possessing  a 
semblance  of  dignity  bound  to  impress  those 
unacquainted  with  the  real  state  of  affairs. 
Added  to  this  was  the  encouragement  which  an 
extra  ten  thousand  a  year  must  invariably  bring 
to  the  man  appointed  to  receive  it. 

"  It's  just  what   I  needed,"  he  said  to   Mr. 


8  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

Hicks,  "  to  make  my  income  what  it  ought  to 
be.  Fifty  thousand  dollars  is,  of  course,  a 
handsome  return  from  investments,  but  it  is  an 
awkward  sum  to  spend.  It  doesn't  divide  up 
well.  But  sixty  thousand  a  year  is  simply  ideal. 
Twelve  goes  into  sixty  five  times,  and  none  over 
— five  thousand  a  month  means  something,  and 
doesn't  complicate  accounts.  Besides,  the 
increase  will  pay  the  interest  on  a  yacht 
nicely." 

"  You  are  a  great  boy,  Hoppy,"  said  Mr. 
Hicks,  when  the  young  man  had  thus  un 
bosomed  himself,  "  but  I  doubt  if  you  will  ever 
be  a  great  man." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  know,"  said  Hoppy ;  "  there's 
no  telling  what  may  develop.  Of  course,  Mr. 
Hicks,  I  shall  go  into  the  study  of  the  law  very 
seriously  ;  I  couldn't  think  of  accepting  your 
offer  without  making  some  effort  to  show  that 
I  deserved  it.  I  shall  give  up  the  reading  of 
my  irresponsible  days,  and  take  to  reading  law. 
I  shall  stop  my  subscription  to  the  sporting 
papers,  and  take  the  Daily  Register  and  Court 
Calendar  instead,  and  if  you  think  it  would  be 
worth  while  I  might  also  subscribe  to  the 
Albany  Law  Journal,  with  which  interesting 
periodical  I  am  already  tolerably  familiar, 
having  kept  my  father's  files  in  order  for  some 
years." 


INTRODUCING   MR.    HOPKINS   TOPPLETON.         Q 

"  No,  Hoppy,"  said  Mr.  Hicks,  with  a  smile, 
"  I  don't  think  you'd  better  give  up  the  sporting 
papers ;  '  all  work  and  no  play  makes  Jack  a 
dull  boy.'  " 

"  Perhaps  you  are  right,"  said  Hopkins,  in 
reply  to  this.  "But  I  shall  read  Blackstone, 
and  accumulate  a  library  on  legal  subjects,  Mr. 
Hicks.  In  that  I  am  firm.  I  am  a  good  deal 
of  a  book-lover  anyhow,  and  since  law  is  to  be 
my  profession  I  might  as  well  suit  my  books  to 
my  needs.  I'll  order  a  first  edition  of  Black- 
stone  at  once." 

"  You'd  better  get  the  comic  Blackstone," 
said  Mr.  Hicks,  gravely.  "  You  will  find  it  a 
very  interesting  book." 

"  Very  well,  Mr.  Hicks,"  returned  the 
amiable  head-partner-elect  of  the  famous  legal 
firm,  "  I'll  make  a  note  of  that.  I  will  also 
purchase  the  '  Newgate  Calendar,'  and  any 
other  books  you  may  choose  to  recommend, 
— and  I  tell  you  what,  Mr.  Hicks,  when  my 
collection  gets  going  it  will  be  the  talk  of  the 
town.  I'll  have  'em  all  in  absolute  firsts,  and 
as  for  the  bindings,  your  old  yellow-backed 
tomes  at  the  office  will  be  cast  utterly  in  the 
shade  by  my  full  crushed  levant  morocco  books 
in  rich  reds  and  blues.  Just  think  of  the 
hundred  or  more  volumes  of  New  York 
reports  in  Russia  leather,  Mr.  Hicks  !  " 


io  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  It  takes  my  breath  away,  Hoppy,"  returned 
the  lawyer.  "  Every  one  of  the  volumes  will  be 
absolutely  uncut,  I  suppose,  eh  ?  " 

"  Never  you  mind  about  that,"  retorted 
Hopkins;  "you  think  I'm  joking,  but  you'll 
find  your  mistake  some  day.  I'm  serious  in  this 
business,  though  I  think  I'll  begin  my  labours 
by  taking  a  winter  at  Nice." 

"  That  is  wise,"  said  Mr.  Hicks,  approvingly  ; 
"  and  then  you  might  put  in  the  summer  in 
Norway,  devoting  the  spring  and  autumn  to 
rest  and  quiet." 

"  I'll  think  about  that,"  Hopkins  answered  ; 
"  but  the  first  step  to  take,  really,  is  to  pack  up 
my  things  here,  and  sail  for  London  and  secure 
an  office." 

"  A  very  proper  sentiment,  my  dear  boy," 
returned  Mr.  Hicks  ;  "  but  let  me  advise  you, 
do  not  be  rash  about  plunging  into  the  pro 
fessional  vortex.  Remember  that  at  present 
your  knowledge  of  the  law  is  limited  entirely 
to  your  theories  as  to  what  it  ought  to  be, 
and  law  is  seldom  that ;  nor  must  you  forget 
that  in  asking  you  to  represent  us  in  London, 
it  is  not  our  desire  to  inflict  upon  you  any 
really  active  work.  We  simply  desire  you  to 
live  in  an  atmosphere  that,  to  one  of  your 
tastes,  is  necessarily  broadening,  and  if  you 
find  it  advisable  to  pursue  intellectual  breadth 


INTRODUCING   MR.   HOPKINS   TOPPLETON.      II 

across  the  continent  of  Europe  to  the  utter 
most  parts  of  the  earth,  you  will  find  that  the 
firm  stands  ready  to  furnish  you  with  material 
assistance,  and  to  remove  all  obstacles  from 
your  path." 

"  Thanks  for  your  kindness,  Mr.  Hicks,"  said 
Hopkins.  "  I  shall  endeavour  to  prove  myself 
worthy  of  it." 

"  I  have  no  doubt  of  it,  my  boy,"  rejoined 
Mr.  Hicks,  rising.  "  And,  in  parting  with  you, 
let  me  impress  upon  you  the  importance,  both 
to  you  and  to  ourselves  in  the  present  stage 
of  your  legal  development,  of  the  maxim, 
that  to  a  young  lawyer  not  sure  of  his  law, 
and  devoid  of  experience,  there  is  nothing 
quite  so  dangerous  as  a  client.  Avoid 
clients,  Hoppy,  as  you  would  dangerous  ex 
plosives.  Many  a  young  lawyer  has  seemed 
great  until  fate  has  thrown  a  client  athwart  his 
path." 

With  these  words,  designed  quite  as  much 
for  the  protection  of  the  firm,  as  for  the  edifica 
tion  of  that  concern's  new  head,  Mr.  Hicks 
withdrew,  and  Hopkins  turned  his  attention  to 
preparations  for  depature ;  paying  his  bills, 
laying  in  a  stock  of  cigars,  and  instructing  his 
valet  as  to  the  disposition  of  his  lares  and 
penates.  Four  weeks  later  he  sailed  for 
London,  arriving  there  in  good  shape  early  in 


12  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

June,  ready  for  all  the  delights  of  the  season, 
then  at  its  height. 

It  was  not  until  Hopkins  had  been  four  days 
at  sea,  that  the  firm  of  Toppleton,  Morley, 
Harkins,  Perkins,  Mawson,  Bronson,  Smithers, 
and  Hicks  learned  that  the  new  partner  had 
presided  at  a  Coney  Island  banquet,  given  by 
himself  to  the  office-boys,  clerks,  book-keepers, 
and  stenographers  of  the  firm,  on  the  Saturday 
half-holiday  previous  to  his  departure.  It  is 
doubtful  if  this  appalling  fact  would  have  come 
to  light  even  then,  had  not  Mr.  Mawson,  in 
endeavouring  to  discharge  one  of  the  office-boys 
for  insubordination,  been  informed  by  the  delin 
quent  that  he  defied  him  ;  the  senior  member 
of  the  firm,  the  departed  Hoppy,  having 
promised  to  retain  the  youth  in  his  employ  at 
increased  wages,  until  he  was  old  enough  to 
go  to  London,  and  assist  him  in  looking  after 
the  interests  of  his  clients  abroad.  An  investi 
gation,  which  followed,  showed  that  Hopkins 
had  celebrated  his  departure  in  the  manner 
indicated,  and  also  divulged  the  interesting 
fact  that  the  running  expenses  of  the  office, 
according  to  the  new  partner's  promises,  were 
immediately  to  be  increased  at  least  twenty- 
five  per  cent,  per  annum  in  salaries. 


CHAPTER  II. 

MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON    LEASES   AN   OFFICE. 

IT  did  not  take  Hopkins  many  days  to  discover 
that  a  life  of  elegant  leisure  in  London  approxi 
mates  labour  of  the  hardest  sort.  Nor  was  it 
entirely  easy  for  him  to  spend  his  one  thousand 
pounds  a  month,  with  lodgings  for  his  head 
quarters.  This  fact  annoyed  him  considerably,  for 
he  valued  money  only  for  what  it  could  bring 
him,  and  yet  how  else  to  live  than  in  lodgings  he 
could  not  decide.  Hotel  life  he  abhorred,  not 
only  because  he  considered  its  excellence  purely 
superficial,  but  also  because  it  brought  him  in 
contact  with  what  he  called  his  "  flash-light 
fellow  countrymen,  with  Wagnerian  voices  and 
frontier  manners  " — by  which  I  presume  he 
meant  the  diamond  studded  individuals  who 
travel  on  Cook's  Tickets,  and  whose  so-called 
Americanism  is  based  on  the  notion  that  Britons 
are  still  weeping  over  the  events  of  '76,  and 
who  love  to  send  patriotic  allusions  to  the  star- 
spangled  banner  echoing  down  through  the 


14  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

corridors  of  the  hotels,  out  and  along  the 
Thames  Embankment,  to  the  very  doors  of 
parliament  itself. 

"Why  don't  you  buy  a  house-boat?  "  asked 
one  of  his  cronies,  to  whom  he  had  confided  his 
belief  that  luxurious  ease  was  hard  on  the 
constitution.  "  Then  you  can  run  off  up  the 
Thames,  and  loaf  away  the  tedious  hours  of 
your  leisure." 

"  That's  an  idea  worth  considering,"  he 
replied,  "  and  perhaps  I'll  try  it  on  next 
summer.  I  do  not  feel  this  year,  however, 
that  I  ought  to  desert  London,  considering  the 
responsibilities  of  my  position." 

"  What  are  you  talking  about  ?  "  said  the 
other  with  a  laugh.  "  Responsibilities  !  Why, 
man,  you  haven't  been  to  your  office  since  you 
arrived." 

"No,"  returned  Hoppy,  "I  haven't.  In 
fact  I  haven't  got  an  office  to  (  be  to.'  That's 
what  bothers  me  so  like  thunder.  I've  looked 
at  plenty  of  offices  advertised  as  for  rent 
for  legal  firms,  but  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  can  find 
anything  suitable.  Your  barristers  over  here 
have  not  as  good  accommodations  as  we  give 
obsolete  papers  at  home.  Our  pigeon-holes 
are  palatial  in  comparison  with  your  office 
suites,  and  accustomed  as  I  am  to  breathing 
fresh  air,  I  really  can't  stand  the  atmosphere  I 


MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON  LEASES  AN  OFFICE.   15 

have  been  compelled  to  take  into  my  lungs  in 

the  rooms  I  have  looked  at." 

"  But,   my   dear  fellow,   what   more   than  a 

pigeon-hole    do  you  need  ?  "  asked    his  friend. 

"  You   are   not  called  upon   to   attend  to   any 

business  here.     A  post-office  box  would  suffice 

for     the     receipt     of     communications     from 

America." 

"  That's  all  true  enough,"  returned  Hopkins, 

"  but  where  am  I  to  keep  my  law  library  ?     And 

what   am   I  to   do   in  case    I    should   have   a 

client  ?  " 

"  Keep   your    books   in   your    lodgings,    and 

don't  count  your  clients  before   they  get   into 

litigation,"  replied  the  other. 

"  My  dear  Tutterson,"  Hopkins  said  in 
answer  to  this,  "  you  are  the  queerest  mixture 
of  common  sense  and  idiotcy  I  have  ever  en 
countered.  My  library  at  home,  indeed ! 
Haven't  you  any  better  sense  than  to  suggest 
my  carrying  my  profession  into  my  home  life  ? 
Do  you  suppose  I  want  to  be  reminded  at 
every  step  I  take  that  I  am  a  lawyer  ?  Must 
my  business  be  rammed  down  my  throat  at  all 
hours  ?  Am  I  never  to  have  relaxation  from 
office  cares  ?  Indeed,  Til  not  have  a  sugges 
tion  of  law  within  a  mile  of  my  lodgings !  I 
must  have  an  office ;  but  now  that  I  think  of  it, 
not  having  to  go  to  the  office  from  one  year's 


16  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

end  to  another,  it  makes  no  difference  whether 
it  consists  of  the  ground  floor  of  Buckingham 
Palace  or  a  rear  cell  three  flights  up,  in  Newgate 
Prison." 

"Except,"  returned  Tutterson,  "that  if  you 
had  the  office  at  Newgate  you  might  do  more 
business  than  if  you  shared  Buckingham 
Palace  with  the  Royal  family." 

"  Yes  ;  and  on  the  other  hand,  the  society 
at  the  palace  is  probably  more  desirable  than 
that  of  Newgate  ;  so  each  having  equal 
advantages,  I  think  I'd- better  compromise  and 
take  an  office  out  near  the  Tower,"  said  Hop 
kins.  "  The  location  is  quite  desirable  from 
my  point  of  view.  It  would  be  so  inaccessible 
that  I  should  have  a  decent  excuse  for  not 
going  there,  and  besides,  I  reduce  my  chances 
of  being  embarrassed  by  a  client  to  a  minimum." 

"  That  is  where  you  are  very  much  mis 
taken,"  said  Tutterson.  "  If  you  hang  your 
shingle  out  by  the  Tower,  you  will  be  one 
lawyer  among  a  hundred  Beef-Eaters,  and 
therefore  distinguished,  and  likely  to  be  sought 
out  by  clients.  On  the  other  hand,  if  you 
behave  like  a  sensible  man,  and  take  chambers 
in  the  Temple,  you'll  be  an  unknown  attorney 
among  a  thousand  Q.C's.  And  as  for  the  decent 
excuse  for  not  attending  to  business,  you  simply 
forget  that  you  are  no  longer  in  America  but  in 


MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON  LEASES  AN  OFFICE.  17 

England.  Here  a  man  needs  an  excuse  for 
going  to  work.  Trade  is  looked  down  upon. 
It  is  the  butterfly  we  esteem,  not  the  grub.  A 
man  who  will  work  when  he  doesn't  need  to 
work,  is  looked  upon  with  distrust.  Society 
doesn't  cultivate  him,  and  the  million  regard 
him  with  suspicion, — and  the  position  of  both 
is  distinctly  logical.  He  who  serves  is  a  servant, 
and  society  looks  upon  him  as  such,  and  when 
he  insists  upon  serving  without  the  necessity  to 
serve,  he  diminishes  by  just  so  much  the  oppor 
tunities  of  some  poor  devil  to  whom  opportunity 
is  bread  and  butter,  which  sets  the  poor  devil 
against  him.  You  do  not  need  an  excuse  for 
neglecting  business,  Toppleton,  and,  by  Jove,  if 
it  wasn't  for  your  beastly  American  ideas,  you'd 
apologize  to  yourself  for  even  thinking  of  such 
a  thing." 

"  Well,  I  fancy  you  are  right,"  replied 
Toppleton.  "To  tell  you  the  truth,  I  never 
thought  of  it  in  that  light  before.  There  is 
value  in  a  leisure  class,  after  all.  It  keeps  the 
peach-blow  humanity  from  competing  with  the 
earthenware,  to  the  disadvantage  of  the  latter. 
I  see  now  why  the  lower  and  middle  classes  so 
dearly  love  the  lords  and  dukes  and  other  noble 
born  creatures  Nature  has  set  above  them. 
It  is  the  generous  self-denial  of  the  aristocracy 
in  the  matter  of  work,  and  the  consequent 

c 


i8  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

diminution  of  competition,  that  is  the  basis  of 
that  love.  I'll  do  as  you  say,  and  see  what  I 
can  do  in  the  Temple.  Even  if  a  client  should 
happen  to  stray  in  at  one  of  those  rare  moments 
when  I  am  on  duty,  I  can  assume  a  weary 
demeanour  and  tell  him  that  I  have  already 
more  work  on  my  hands  than  I  can  accomplish 
with  proper  deference  to  my  health/ and  request 
him  to  take  his  quarrel  elsewhere." 

So  the  question  was  settled.  An  office  was 
taken  in  the  Temple.  Hopkins  bought  himself 
a  wig  and  a  gown,  purchased  a  dozen  tin  boxes, 
each  labelled  with  the  hypothetical  name  of 
some  supposititious  client,  had  the  room 
luxuriously  fitted  up,  arranged  his  law  library, 
consisting  of  the  "  Comic  Blackstone,"  "  Bench 
and  Bar,"  by  Sergeant  Ballantyne,  the 
'*  Newgate  Calendar,"  and  an  absolute  first  of 
"  Parsons  on  Contracts,"  on  the  mahogany 
shelves  he  had  had  constructed  there  ;  hung 
out  a  shingle  announcing  himself  and  firm  as 
having  headquarters  within,  and,  placing  beneath 
it  a  printed  placard  to  the  effect  that  he  had 
gone  out  to  lunch,  he  turned  the  key  in  the 
door  and  departed  with  Tutterson  for  a  trip  to 
the  land  of  the  Midnight  Sun. 

Now  it  so  happened,  that  the  agent  having  in 
charge  the  particular  section  of  the  Temple  in 
which  Hopkins'  new  office  was  located,  had 


MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON  LEASES  AN  OFFICE.  IQ 

concealed  from  the  young  American  the  fact 
that  for  some  twenty-five  or  thirty  years,  the 
room  which  Toppleton  had  leased  had  remained 
unoccupied — that  is,  it  had  never  been  occupied 
for  any  consecutive  period  of  time  during  that 
number  of  years.  Tenants  had  come  but  had 
as  quickly  gone.  There  was  something  about 
the  room  that  no  one  seemed  able  to  cope  with. 
Luxuriously  furnished  or  bare,  it  made  no 
difference  in  the  fortunes  of  Number  17,  from 
the  doors  of  which  now  projected  the  sign  of 
Toppleton,  Morley,  Harkins,  Perkins,  Mawson, 
Bronson,  Smithers,  and  Hicks.  Just  what  the 
trouble  was,  the  agent  had  not  been  able  to 
determine  in  a  manner  satisfactory  to  himself 
until  about  a  year  before  Hopkins  happened  in 
to  negotiate  with  him  for  a  four  years'  lease. 
Departing  tenants,  when  they  had  spoken  to 
him  at  all  on  the  subject,  had  confined  them 
selves  to  demands  for  a  rebate  on  rents  paid  in 
advance,  on  the  rather  untenable  ground  that 
the  room  was  uncanny  and  depressing. 

"  We  can't  stand  it,"  they  had  said,  earnestly 
"  There  must  be  some  awful  mystery  connected 
with  the  room.  There  has  been  a  murder,  or  a 
suicide,  or  some  equally  dreadful  crime  com 
mitted  within  its  walls  at  some  time  or 
another." 

This,  of  course,  the  agent  always  strenuously 
C   2 


20  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

denied,  and  his  books  substantiated  his  denial. 
The  only  possible  crime  divulged  by  the  books, 
was  thirty-three  years  back  when  an  occupant 
departed  without  paying  his  rent,  but  that 
surely  did  not  constitute  the  sort  of  crime 
that  would  warrant  the  insinuation  that  the 
room  was  haunted. 

"And  as  for  your  statement  that  the  room 
makes  you  feel  weird  and  depressed,"  the  agent 
had  added  with  the  suggestion  of  a  sneer,  "  I 
am  sure  there  is  nothing  in  the  terms  of  the 
lease  wrhich  binds  me  to  keep  tenants  in  a 
natural  and  cheerful  frame  of  mind.  I  can't 
help  it,  you  know,  if  you  get  the  blues  or  eat 
yourselves  into  a  state  that  makes  that  room 
seem  to  you  to  be  haunted." 

"  But,"  one  expostulating  tenant  had  ob 
served,  "  but,  my  dear  sir,  I  am  given  to  under 
stand  that  the  five  tenants  preceding  my 
occupancy  left  for  precisely  the  same  reason, 
that  the  office  at  times  is  suffocatingly  weird  ; 
and  that  undefined  whispers  are  to  be  heard 
playing  at  puss  in  the  corner  with  heart-rending 
sighs  at  almost  any  hour  of  the  day  or  night 
throughout  the  year,  cannot  be  denied." 

"Well,  all  I've  got  to  say  about  that,"  was 
the  agent's  invariable  reply,  "  is  that  /  never 
saw  a  sigh  or  heard  a  whisper  of  a  supernatural 
order  in  that  room,  and  if  you  want  to  go  to 


MR.  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON  LEASES  AN  OFFICE.  21 

law  with  a  case  based  on  a  Welsh  rarebit  diet, 
just  do  it.  If  the  courts  decide  that  I  owe  you 
money,  and  must  forfeit  my  lease  rights  because 
you  have  dyspepsia,  I'll  turn  over  the  whole 
business  to  you  and  join  the  army." 

Of  course  this  independent  attitude  of  the 
agent  always  settled  the  question  at  once. 
His  tenants,  however  insane  they  might  appear 
to  the  agent's  eyes,  were  invariably  sane  enough 
not  to  carry  the  matter  to  the  courts,  where  it 
was  hardly  possible  that  a  plaintiff  could  be 
relieved  of  the  conditions  of  his  contract, 
because  his  office  gave  him  a  megrim,  super 
induced  by  the  visit  of  a  disembodied  sigh. 

Judges  are  hard-headed,  practical  persons, 
who  take  no  stock  in  spirits  not  purely  liquid, 
realizing  which  the  tenants  of  Number  17,  with 
out  exception,  wisely  resolved  to  suffer  in  silence, 
invariably  leaving  the  room,  however,  in  a  state 
of  disuse  encouraging  to  cobwebs,  which  would 
have  delighted  the  soul  of  a  connoisseur  in 
wines. 

"  If  I  can't  make  the  rent  of  the  room,  I  can 
at  least  raise  cobwebs  for  innkeepers  to  use  in 
connection  with  their  wine  cellars,"  said  the 
agent  to  himself  with  a  sad  chuckle,  which 
showed  that  he  was  possessed  of  a  certain 
humorous  philosophy  which  must  have  been 
extremely  consoling  to  him. 


t*  PS!  BUI     ' 

\,  ,• 

i    n<<  .1      \\\\\*  U,  ,1    ,-M,I\      i-x 
,,  >!U    - 

••-,  ,        ,->M!V      '   y 

which 

.t»xnt     n\.^\r,{    • 

N 

w  .  ,-U%  ;^<   tl\<% 

' 

- 

,s\    \\.\A   tvon\M<\l   \v\th 
•-nm    ^-,-       v  BftO 

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;n   th.\t 
^y 

,\x<      t\\M-'  \    -       If 

\> 

- 

I 

- 

' 


NN    -    ^v     ,-         -.-,  -.x    xv.v.v       >, 


rtOJ"KW8  TOPTLETOM  LEAffcS  AM  Off  I  • 

confidence,  foch  a*  it  was,  along  with 

'•he 

the  buik  I   it  was 

d  hi*  peace.  had 

D  informed  t  room  was  u  efly 

:  he  chose  to  use  it 

a§  an  office,  it  was  K  ufhir. 

-id  a  vague  hope  that  1>; 
B  and  iwed  to  all  sorts*  of 

horrib]':  thin^ 

-vr->  ir/  th«;  b 

•'••>  of 

vjth    th'. 

;i.n'l  ijJtim-'it'Jy  ( 
•><A\"A  -.\v}\  into  th<;  -.pirit  v 

In  vi':-//  Ofti  -Uf- 

j^n'y]  a 
*h'; 

'•     •      '    . 

-form   hi-,  v/if<;   that  she  might 
k  'If':-/-,. 

J;»:     i  /->  v/hi'-h  elapsed  be1 

--f  the  lease  an'l  Hopkins'  ostensible 

•}ir':';  months'  lunching  tour,  he 
I  Watched  With   '  -^ble  interest  by  the 

?j^ent,  but,  until  the  "  Gon»-  '  h  "  pla' 

•    'J{%  the    J:iH<-r    -.;,-//  no   -jrrn    t}j:;t    ,: 

h;i'l  'Ir  '  anything  v/rong  with  the  ofl 

;  §VM  then  th':  agent  thought  nothing  about 


24  TOPPLETON'S   CLIENT. 

it  until  the  placard  began  to  accumulate  dust. 
Then  he  shook  his  head  and  silently  congratu 
lated  himself  that  the  rent  had  been  paid  a  year 
in  advance;  "for,"  he  said,  "  if  he  hasn't  gone 
to  New  York  to  lunch,  the  chances  are  that  that 
sigh  has  got  to  work  again  and  frightened  him 
into  an  unceremonious  departure."  Neither  of 
which  hypotheses  was  correct,  for  as  we  have 
already  heard,  Hopkins  had  departed  for  Nor 
way. 

As  for  the  sigh,  the  young  lawyer  had  heard  it 
but  once.  That  was  when  he  was  about  leaving 
the  room  for  his  three  months'  tour,  and  he  had 
attributed  it  to  the  soughing  of  the  wind  in  the 
trees  outside  of  his  window,  which  was  indeed 
an  error,  as  he  might  have  discovered  at  the 
time  had  he  taken  the  trouble  to  investigate, 
for  there  were  no  trees  outside  of  his  window 
through  whose  branches  a  wind  could  have 
soughed  even  if  it  had  been  disposed  to  do  so. 


CHAPTER  III. 

MR.    HOPKINS   TOPPLETON    ENCOUNTERS   A 
WEARY   SPIRIT. 

IT  was  well  along  in  October  when  Hopkins 
returned  to  London,  and  he  got  back  to  his 
office  in  the  Temple  none  too  soon.  The  agent 
had  fully  made  up  his  mind  that  he  was  gone 
for  good,  and  was  about  taking  steps  to  remove 
his  effects  from  Number  17,  and  gain  an  honest 
penny  by  sub-letting  that  light  and  airy  apart 
ment  for  his  own  benefit,  a  vision  of  profit  which 
Toppleton  redivivus  effectually  dispelled. 

The  return,  for  this  reason,  was  of  course  a 
grave  disappointment  to  Mr.  Stubbs,  but  he 
rose  to  the  occasion  when  the  long  lost  lessee 
appeared  on  the  scene,  and  welcomed  him 
cordially. 

"  Good  morning,  sir,"  he  said.  "  Glad  to  see 
you  back.  Didn't  know  what  had  become  of 
you  or  should  have  forwarded  your  mail.  Have 
a  pleasant  trip  ?  " 


26  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Very,"  said  Toppleton,  shortly. 

"  It  seems  to  have  agreed  with  you, — you've 
a  finer  colour  than  you  had." 

"Yes,"  replied  Hopkins,  drily.  "That's 
natural.  I've  been  to  Norway.  The  sun's 
been  working  day  and  night,  and  I'm 
tanned." 

"  I  hope  everything  is — er — everything  was 
all  right  with  the  room,  sir  ?  "  the  agent  then 
said  somewhat  anxiously. 

"  I  found  nothing  wrong  with  it,"  said  Hop 
kins  ;  "  did  you  suspect  that  anything  was  wrong 
there  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no  ! — indeed  not.  Of  course  not,"  re 
turned  the  agent  with  some  confusion.  "  I 
only  asked — er — so  that  in  case  there  was 
anything  you  wanted,  you  know,  it  might  be 
attended  to  at  once.  There's  nothing  wrong 
with  the  room  at  all,  sir.  Nothing.  Abso 
lutely  nothing." 

"  Well,  that's  good,"  said  Toppleton,  turning 
to  his  table.  "  I'm  glad  there's  nothing  the 
matter.  It  will  take  a  very  small  percentage 
of  the  rental  to  remedy  that.  Good  morning, 
Mr.  Stubbs." 

"  Good  morning,  sir,"  said  Mr.  Stubbs,  and 
then  he  departed. 

"  Now  for  the  mail,"  said  Hopkins,  grasping 
his  letter-opener,  and  running  it  deftly  through 


TOPPLETON   ENCOUNTERS  A  WEARY   SPIRIT.    27 

the  flap  of  a  communication  from  Mr.  Morley, 
written  two  months  previously. 

"Dear  Hoppy,"  he  read.  "We  have  just 
been  informed  of  your  singular  act  on  the 
Saturday  previous  to  your  departure  for 
London." 

"  Hm !  what  the  deuce  did  I  do  then  ?  " 
said  Hopkins,  stroking  his  moustache  thought 
fully.  "  Let  me  see.  '  Singular  act.'  I've 
done  quite  a  number  of  singular  things  on 
Saturdays,  but  what — Oh,  yes !  Ha,  ha ! 
That  Coney  Island  dinner.  Oh,  bosh  ! — what 
nonsense  !  as  if  my  giving  the  boys  a  feast 
were  going  to  hurt  the  prospects  of  a  firm  like 
ours.  By  George,  it'll  work  just  the  other  way. 
It'll  fill  the  force  with  an  enthusiasm  for  work 
which—" 

Here  Hopkins  stopped  for  a  moment  to  say, 
"  Come  in  !  "  Somebody  had  knocked,  he 
thought.  But  the  door  remained  closed. 

"  Come  in  !  "  he  cried  again. 

Still  there  was  no  answer,  and  on  walking  to 
the  door  and  opening  it,  Toppleton  discovered 
that  his  ears  had  deceived  him.  There  was  no 
one  there,  nor  was  there  any  sign  of  life  what 
ever  in  the  hallway. 

"  I'm  glad,"  he  said,  returning  to  his  chair 
and  taking  up  Mr.  Morley's  letter  once  more. 
"  It  might  have  been  a  client,  and  to  a  man  at 


28  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

the  head  of  a  big  firm  who  has  never  been 
admitted  to  practice  in  any  court  or  country, 
that  would  be  an  embarrassment  to  say  the 
least.  It's  queer  though,  about  that  knock.  I 
certainly  heard  one.  Maybe  there  is  some 
telepathic  influence  between  Morley  and  me. 
He  usually  punctuates  his  complaints  with  a 
whack  on  a  table  or  back  of  a  chair.  That's 
what  it  must  have  been  ;  but  let's  see  what  else 
he  has  to  say." 

"  Of  course/'  he  read,  "  if  you  desire  to 
associate  with  those  who  are  socially  and 
professionally  your  inferiors,  we  have  nothing 
to  say.  That  is  a  matter  entirely  beyond  our 
jurisdiction,  but  when  you  commit  the  firm  to 
outrageous  expenditures  simply  to  gratify  your 
own  love  of  generosity,  it  is  time  to  call  a 
halt." 

"  What  the  devil  is  he  talking  about  ?  "  said 
Hopkins,  putting  the  letter  down.  "  I  paid 
for  that  dinner  out  of  my  own  pocket,  and 
never  charged  the  firm  a  cent,  even  though  it 
does  indirectly  reap  all  the  benefits.  I'll  have 
to  write  Morley  and  call  his  attention  to  that 
fact.  How  vulgar  these  disputes — " 

At  this  point  he  was  again  interrupted  by  a 
sound  which,  in  describing  it  afterwards,  he 
likened  to  a  ton  of  aspirates  sliding  down  a 
coal  chute. 


TOPPLETON    ENCOUNTERS   A  WEARY   SPIRIT.    2Q 

"  This  room  appears  to  be  an  asylum  for 
strange  noises,"  said  he,  looking  about  him  to 
discover,  if  possible,  whence  this  second  inter 
ruption  came.  "  I  don't  believe  Morley  feels 
badly  enough  about  my  behaviour  for  one  of 
his  sighs  to  cross  the  ocean  and  greet  my  ears, 
but  I'm  hanged  if  I  know  how  else  to  account 
for  it,  unless  there's  a  speaking  tube  with  a 
whistle  in  it  somewhere  hereabouts.  I  won 
der  if  that's  what  Stubbs  meant !  "  he  added, 
reflecting. 

"  Bah  !  "  he  said  in  answer  to  his  own  ques 
tion,  picking  up  Mr.  Morley's  letter  for  a  third 
time.  "This  is  the  nineteenth  century.  Weird 
sounds  are  mortal-made  these  days,  and  I'm 
not  afraid  of  them.  If  there  were  anything 
supernatural  about  them,  why  didn't  the  air 
get  blue,  and  where's  my  cold  chill  and  my  hair 
standing  erect  ?  I  fancy  I'll  retain  my  com 
posure  until  the  symptoms  are  a  little  more 
strongly  developed." 

Here  he  returned  to  his  reading. 

"  We  desire  to  have  you  explain  to  us,  at  your 
earliest  convenience,"  the  letter  went  on  to  say, 
"why  you  have  so  extravagantly  raised  the 
salary  of  every  man,  woman  and  child  in  our 
employ,  utterly  regardless  of  merit,  and  without 
consultation  with  those  with  whom  you  have 
been  associated,  to  such  a  figure  that  the  firm 


30  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

has  been  compelled  to  reduce  its  autumn  divi 
dend  to  meet  the  requirements  of  the  pay  roll. 
Your  probable  answer  will  be,  I  presume, — 
knowing  your  extraordinary  resources  in  the 
matter  of  explanations — that  you  cannot  con 
sent  to  be  a  mere  figure-head,  and  that  you 
considered  it  your  duty  to  impress  upon  our 
clerks  the  fact  that  you  are  not  what  they  might 
suspect  under  the  circumstances,  but  a  vital, 
moving  force  in  the  concern ;  but  you  may  as 
well  spare  yourself  the  trouble  of  making  any 
such  explanation,  since  it  will  not  be  satisfac 
tory  either  to  myself  or  to  the  other  members 
of  the  firm,  with  the  possible  exception  of  our 
friend  Mawson,  who,  with  his  customary  about- 
town  manners,  is  disposed  to  make  light  of  the 
matter.  We  desire  to  have  you  distinctly 
understand  that  your  duties  are  to  be  confined 
entirely  to  the  London  office,  and  to  add  that 
were  it  not  for  your  esteemed  father's  sake  we 
should  at  once  cancel  our  agreement  with  you. 
The  name  you  bear,  honoured  as  it  is  in  our 
profession,  is  of  great  value  to  us  :  but  it  is, 
after  all,  a  luxury  rather  than  a  necessity,  and 
in  these  hard  times  we  are  strongly  inclined 
to  dispense  with  luxuries  whenever  we  find 
them  too  expensive  for  our  pockets." 

Hopkins  paused  in  his  reading  and  pursed 
his  lips  to  give  a  long,  low  whistle,  a  sound 


TOPPLETON    ENCOUNTERS   A   WEARY   SPIRIT.    3! 

which  was  frozen  in  transitu,  for  the  lips  were 
no  sooner  pursed  than  there  came  from  a  far 
corner  the  very  sound  that  he  had  intended  to 
utter. 

For  the  first  time  in  his  life  Toppleton  knew 
what  fear  was  ;  for  the  first  time  since  he  was 
a  boy,  when  he  wore  it  that  way,  did  he 
become  conscious  that  his  hair  stood  upon  end. 
His  blood  seemed  to  congeal  in  his  veins,  and 
his  heart  for  a  moment  ceased  to  beat,  and 
then,  as  if  desirous  of  making  up  for  lost  time, 
began  to  thump  against  his  ribs  at  lightning 
pace  and  with  such  force  that  Hopkins  feared 
it  might  break  the  crystal  of  the  watch  which 
he  carried  in  the  upper  left-hand  pocket  of  his 
vest. 

Mr.  Morley's  letter  fluttered  from  his  nerve 
less  hand  to  the  floor,  and,  despite  its  severity, 
was  forgotten  before  it  touched  the  handsome 
rug  beneath  Hopkins'  table.  The  new  sensa 
tion — the  sensation  of  fear — had  taken  posses 
sion  of  his  whole  being,  and,  for  an  instant,  he 
was  as  one  paralyzed.  Then,  recovering  his 
powers  of  motion,  he  whirled  about  in  his  re 
volving  chair  and  started  to  his  feet  as  if  he 
had  been  shot. 

"  This  is  unbearable  !  "  he  cried,  glancing  ner 
vously  about  the  room.  "  It's  bad  enough  to 
have  an  office-boy  who  whistles,  but  when  you 


32  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

get  the  whistle  in  the  abstract  without  the 
advantage  of  the  office-boy,  it  is  too  much." 

Then  Hopkins  rang  the  bell  and  summoned 
the  janitor. 

"Tell  the  agent  I  want  to  see  him,"  he  said 
when  that  worthy  appeared,  and  then,  returning 
to  his  desk,  he  sat  down  and  mechanically 
opened  a  copy  of  the  Daily  Register  and  tried 
to  read  it. 

"  It's  no  use,"  he  cried  in  a  moment,  crump 
ling  the  paper  into  a  ball  and  throwing  it  across 
the  room.  "  That  vile  whistle  has  regularly 
knocked  me  out." 

The  paper  ball  reached  the  door  just  as  the 
agent  entered,  and  struck  him  athwart  the 
watch  chain. 

"  Beg  pardon,"  said  Hopkins,  "  I  didn't  mean 
that  for  you.  Everything  here  seems  to  be  be 
witched  this  morning,  that  dull  compilation  of 
legal  woe  included." 

"  It's  of  no  consequence,  sir,  I  assure  you," 
returned  the  agent  uneasily. 

"  No,  I  don't  think  it  amounts  to  a  row  of 
beans  to  a  man  who  hates  trouble,"  said  Hop 
kins,  referring  more  to  the  journal  than  to  the 
untoward  act  of  the  paper  ball.  "  But  I  say, 
Mr.  Stubbs,  I've  been  having  a  devil  of  a  time 
in  this  room  this  morning,  and  when  I  say  devil 
I  mean  devil." 


TOPPLETON   ENCOUNTERS   A  WEARY   SPIRIT.    33 

Stubbs  paled  visibly.  The  moment  he  had 
feared  had  come. 

"  Wh — wh — what  sus — seems  to  b — be  the 
m — mum — matter,  sir  ?  "  he  stammered. 

"Nothing  seems,  something  is  the  matter," 
returned  Hopkins.  "  I  don't  wonder  you 
stammer.  You'd  stammer  worse  if  you  had 
been  here  with  me  three  minutes  ago.  Stubbs, 
I  believe  this  room  is  haunted !  " 

Mr.  Stubbs's  efforts  at  surprise  at  this  point 
were  painful  to  witness. 

"  Haunted,  sir  ?  "  he  said. 

11  Yes,  haunted  !  "  retorted  Hopkins  ;  "and  by 
a  confoundedly  impertinent  something  or  other 
that  not  only  sighs  and  knocks  on  the  door  but 
whistles,  Stubbs — actually  whistles.  Has  this 
room  a  history  ?  " 

"  Well,  a  sort  of  a  one,"  returned  Stubbs ; 
"  but  I  never  heard  any  one  complain  about  it 
on  the  score  of  whistling,  sir." 

"  Stubbs,  I  believe  you  are  lying.  Hasn't 
somebody  killed  an  office-boy  in  this  apartment, 
for  whistling  ?  "  queried  Hopkins,  gazing  sternly 
at  the  shuffling  agent. 

"  I'll  take  an  affidavit  that  nothing  of  the  kind 
ever  happened,"  returned  the  agent,  gaining 
confidence. 

"  That  won't  be  necessary,"  said  Toppleton. 
"  I  am  satisfied  with  your  assurance.  But, 

D 


34  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

Stubbs,  to  what  do  you  attribute  these  beastly 
disturbances  ?  Ghosts  ?  " 

"  Of  course  not,  Mr.  Toppleton,"  replied  Mr. 
Stubbs.  "  I  fancy  you  must  have  heard  some 
boy  whistling  in  the  hall." 

"  How  about  the  knock  and  the  sigh  ?  "  de 
manded  the  American. 

"  The  knock  is  easily  accounted  for,"  re 
turned  the  agent.  "  Somebody  in  the  room 
above  you  must  have  dropped  something  on  the 
floor,  while  the  sigh  was  probably  the  wind 
blowing  through  the  key-hole." 

"  Or  a  bit  of  fog  coming  down  the  chimney, 
eh,  Stubbs  ?  "  put  in  Hopkins,  satirically. 

"  No,  sir,"  replied  poor  Stubbs,  growing  red 
where  he  had  been  white  ;  "  there  is  no  fog  to 
day,  sir." 

"  True,  Stubbs  ;  and  you  will  likewise  observe 
there  is  no  wind  to  sough  through  key-holes," 
retorted  Hopkins,  severely,  rising  and  walking 
to  the  window. 

Stubbs  stood  motionless,  without  an  answer. 
Toppleton  had  cornered  him  in  a  flimsy  pretext, 
and  then  came  the  climax  to  his  horrible  ex 
perience. 

From  behind  him  in  the  corner  whence  had 
come  the  sigh  and  the  whistle,  there  now  pro 
ceeded  a  smothered  laugh — a  sound  which 
curdled  his  blood  and  left  him  so  limp  that  he 


TOPPLETON   ENCOUNTERS  A  WEARY   SPIRIT.    35 

staggered  to  the  mantel  and  grasped  it  to  keep 
himself  from  falling  to  the  floor. 

Hopkins  turned  upon  him,  his  face  livid  with 
anger,  and  the  two  men  gazed  at  each  other  in 
silence  for  a  moment,  the  one  endeavouring  to 
master  his  fear,  the  other  to  smother  his 
wrath. 

"  Do  you  mean  to  insult  me,  Mr.  Stubbs,  by 
laughing  in  my  face  when  I  send  for  you  to 
request  explanations  as  to  the  conduct — as  to 
the — er — the  conduct  of  your  room  ?  It  sounds 
ridiculous  to  say  that,  but  there  is  no  other  way 
to  put  it,  for  it  is  the  conduct  of  the  room  of 
which  I  complain.  What  do  you  mean  by  your 
ill-timed  levity  ?  " 

"  I  pass  you  my  word,  Mr.  Toppleton,  I  will 
swear  to  you,  sir,  that  nothing  was  further  from 
my  thoughts  than  mirth.  I  agree  with  you  that 
it  is  no  laughing  matter  for — " 

"  But  I  heard  you  laugh,"  said  Toppleton, 
eyeing  the  agent,  his  anger  now  not  unmixed 
with  awe.  "  You  laughed  as  plainly  as  it  is 
possible  for  any  one  to  laugh,  except  that  you 
endeavoured  to  smother  the  sound." 

"  I  did  nothing  of  the  sort,  Mr.  Toppleton," 
pleaded  Stubbs,  his  hand  shaking  and  his  eyes 
wandering  fearsomely  over  toward  the  mysteri 
ous  corner  where  all  was  still  and  innocent- 
looking.  "  That  laugh  came  from  other  lips 

D   2 


36  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

than  mine — if,  indeed,  it  came  from  lips  at  all, 
which  I  doubt." 

'  You  mean,"  cried  Toppleton,  grasping 
Stubbs  by  the  arm  with  a  grip  that  made  the 
agent  wince,  "  you  mean  that  this  room  is — " 

"  Khee-hee-hee-hee-hee  !  "  came  the  derisive 
laugh  from  the  corner,  followed  by  the  mys 
terious  whistle  and  heartrending  sigh  which 
Hopkins  had  already  so  unpleasantly  heard. 

Toppleton  was  transfixed  with  terror,  and 
the  agent,  with  an  ejaculation  of  fear,  ran  from 
the  room,  and  scurried  down  the  stairs  out  into 
the  court  as  fast  as  his  legs  could  carry  him, 
where  he  fell  prostrate  in  a  paroxysm  of  terror. 

Deserted  by  the  agent  and  shut  up  in  the 
room  with  his  unwelcome  visitor — for  the  agent 
had  slammed  the  door  behind  him  with  such 
force  that  the  catch  had  slipped  and  loosened 
the  bolt,  so  that  Toppleton  was  to  all  intents 
and  purposes  a  prisoner — Hopkins  exerted  what 
little  nerve  force  he  had  left,  and  pulled  himself 
together  again  as  best  he  could.  He  staggered 
to  his  table,  and  taking  a  small  bottle  of  whiskey 
from  the  cupboard  at  its  side,  poured  at  least 
one  half  of  its  fiery  contents  down  into  his 
throat. 

"  Similia  similibus"  said  he  softly  to  him 
self.  "  If  I  have  to  fight  spirits,  I  shall  use 
spirits."  Then  facing  about,  he  gazed  into  the 


TOPPLETON    ENCOUNTERS  A   WEARY   SPIRIT.    37 

corner  unflinchingly  for  a  moment,  following  up 
his  glance  with  one  of  the  hand  fire  grenades 
that  hung  in  a  wire  basket  on  the  wall,  which  he 
hurled  with  all  his  force  into  the  offending  void. 
To  this  ebullition  of  heroic  indignation,  the  only 
reply  was  a  repetition  of  the  sounds  whose 
origin  was  so  mysterious,  but  this  time  they 
proceeded  directly  from  Toppleton's  chair 
which  stood  at  his  side. 

Another  grenade,  smashed  into  the  maroon 
leather  seat  of  the  chair,  was  Hopkins' 
rejoinder,  whereupon  he  was  infuriated  to 
hear  the  smothered  laugh  emanate  from  the 
depths  of  a  treasured  bit  of  cloisonne  standing 
upon  the  mantel,  within  which  it  had  been 
Hopkins'  custom,  in  his  apartments  at  home, 
to  keep  the  faded  leaves  of  the  roses  given  to  him 
by  his  friends  of  the  fairer  sex — a  custom  which, 
despite  the  volumes  of  tobacco  smoke  poured 
into  the  room  by  Hopkins  and  his  companions 
night  and  day,  kept  the  atmosphere  thereof  as 
sweet  as  a  garden. 

"  You  are  a  bright  spirit,"  said  Hopkins  with 
a  forced  laugh.  "  You  know  mighty  well  that 
you  are  safe  from  violence  there  ;  but  if  you'll 
get  out  of  that  and  give  me  one  fair  shot  at  you 
over  on  the  washstand,  you'll  never  haunt 
again." 

"  At  last !  "  came  the  smothered  voice,  this 


38  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

time  from  the  top  of  the  jar.  "  At  last,  after 
years  of  weary  waiting  and  watching,  I  may 
speak  without  breaking  my  vow." 

"  Then  for  heaven's  sake,"  cried  Hopkins, 
sinking  back  into  his  chair  and  staring  blankly 
at  the  jar,  "  for  heaven's  sake  speak  and 
explain  yourself,  if  you  do  not  wish  to  drive  me 
to  the  insane  asylum.  Who  in  the  name  of 
my  honoured  partners  are  you  ?  " 

There  was  a  moment's  pause,  and  then  the 
answer  came, — 

"  I  am  a  weary  spirit — a  spirit  in  exile  — 
harmless  and  unhappy,  whose  unhappiness  you 
may  be  able  to  relieve." 

"  I  ?  "  cried  Hopkins,  wildly. 

"  Yes,  you.  I  am  come  to  intrust  my  affairs 
to  your  hands." 

"  You  are—" 

"  A  client,"  returned  the  spirit. 

Hopkins  gasped  twice,  closed  his  eyes, 
clutched  wildly  at  his  heart,  and  slid  down 
to  the  floor  an  inert  mass. 

He  had  fainted. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE    WEARY    SPIRIT   GIVES    SOME   ACCOUNT   OF 
HIMSELF. 

How  long  Hopkins  would  have  remained  in  an 
unconscious  state  had  not  a  cold  perspiration 
sprung  forth  from  his  forehead,  and,  trickling 
over  his  temples,  brought  him  to  his  senses,  I 
cannot  say.  Suffice  it  to  relate  that  his  stupor 
lasted  hardly  more  than  a  minute.  When  he 
opened  his  eyes  and  gazed  over  toward  the 
haunted  vase,  he  saw  there  the  same  depressing 
nothingness  accompanied  by  the  same  soul- 
chilling  sighs  that  had  so  discomfited  him.  To 
the  ear  there  was  something  there,  a  something 
quite  as  perceptible  to  the  auricular  sense  as  if 
it  were  a  living,  tangible  creature,  but  as  im 
perceptible  to  the  eye  as  that  which  has  never 
existed.  The  presence,  or  whatever  else  it 
was  that  had  entered  into  Toppleton's  life  so 
unceremoniously,  was  apparently  much  affected 
by  the  searching  gaze  which  its  victim  directed 
toward  it. 


40  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Don't  look  at  me  that  way,  I  beg  of  you, 
Mr.  Toppleton,"  said  the  spirit  after  it  had 
sighed  a  half  dozen  times  and  given  an  occa 
sional  nervous  whistle.  "I  don't  deserve  all 
that  your  glance  implies,  and  if  you  could  only 
understand  me,  I  think  you  would  sympathize 
with  me  in  my  trials." 

"  I  ?  I  sympathize  with  you  ?  Well,  I  like 
that,"  cried  Toppleton,  raising  himself  on  his 
elbow  and  staring  blankly  at  the  vase.  "  It 
appears  to  me  that  I  am  the  object  of  sympathy 
this  time.  What  the  deuce  are  you,  anyhow  ? 
How  am  I  to  understand  you,  when  you  sit 
around  like  a  maudlin  void  lost  in  a  vacuum  ? 
Are  you  an  apparition  or  what  ?  " 

"  I  am  neither  an  apparition  nor  a  what," 
returned  the  spirit.  "  I  couldn't  be  an  appari 
tion  without  appearing.  I  suppose  you  might 
call  me  a  limited  perception ;  that  is,  I  can  be 
perceived  but  not  seen,  although  I  am  human." 

"  You  must  be  a  sort  of  cross  between  a 
rumour  and  a  small  boy,  I  suppose ;  is  that 
it  ?  "  queried  Toppleton,  with  a  touch  of  sarcasm 
in  his  tone. 

"  If  you  mean  that  I  am  half-way  between 
things  which  should  be  seen  and  not  heard,  and 
other  things  which  should  be  heard  and  not 
seen,  I  fancy  your  surmise  approximates 
correctness.  For  my  part,  a  love  of  conciseness 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     4! 

leads  me  to  set  myself  down  as  a  Presence," 
was  the  spirit's  answer. 

"  I'll  give  you  a  liberal  reward,"  retorted 
Toppleton,  eagerly,  "if  you'll  place  yourself  in 
the  category  of  an  Absence  as  regards  me  and 
my  office  here  ;  for,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  I  am 
addicted  more  or  less  to  heart  disease,  and  I 
can't  say  I  care  to  risk  an  association  with  a 
vocally  inclined  zero,  such  as  you  seem  to  be. 
What's  your  price  ?  " 

"  You  wrong  me,  Toppleton,"  returned  the 
Presence,  indignantly,  floating  from  the  edge 
of  the  vase  over  to  the  large  rocking  chair  in 
the  corner  by  the  window,  which  began  at  once 
to  sway  to  and  fro,  to  the  undisguised  wonder 
ment  of  its  owner.  "  I  am  not  a  blackmailer,  as 
you  might  see  at  once  if  you  could  look  into 
my  face." 

"  Where  do  you  keep  your  face  ? "  asked 
Hopkins,  sitting  up  and  embracing  his  knees. 
"If  you  have  brought  it  along  with  you  for 
heaven's  sake  trot  it  out.  I  can't  ruin  my  eyes 
on  you  as  you  are  now.  Have  you  no  office 
hours,  say  from  ten  to  two,  when  you  may  be 
seen  by  those  desirous  of  feasting  their  eyes 
upon  your  tangibility  ?  " 

"  I  am  afraid  you  are  joking,  Hopkins,"  said 
the  spirit,  growing  familiar.  "  If  you  are,  I  beg 
that  you  will  stop.  What  is  a  good  joke 


42  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

to  some  eyes  is  a  very  serious  matter  to 
others." 

"That,  my  dear  Presence,"  returned  Topple- 
ton,  "  is  a  very  true  observation,  as  is  borne  out 
by  the  large  percentage  of  serious  matter  that 
appears  in  comic  journals." 

"  Please  do  not  be  flippant/'  said  the  voice 
from  the  rocking-chair,  sadly.  "  I  have  come 
to  you  as  a  suppliant  for  assistance.  The 
fact  that  I  have  come  without  my  body  is 
against  me,  I  know,  but  that  is  a  circumstance 
over  which  I  have  absolutely  no  control.  My 
body  has  been  stolen  from  me,  and  I  am  at 
present  a  shapeless  wanderer  with  nowhere  to 
lay  my  head,  and  no  head  to  lay  there,  if  per 
chance  the  world  held  some  corner  that  I 
might  call  my  own." 

"  I  can't  see  what  you  have  to  complain 
about  on  that  score,"  said  Toppleton,  rising 
from  the  floor  and  seizing  a  large  magnifying 
glass  from  his  table  and  gazing  searchingly 
through  it  into  the  chair  which  still  rocked 
violently.  "  An  individual  like  yourself,  if  you 
are  an  individual,  ought  to  be  able  to  find 
comfort  anywhere.  The  avidity  with  which  you 
have  seized  upon  that  chair,  and  the  extraordi 
nary  vitality  you  seem  to  have  imparted  to  its 
rockers,  indicate  to  my  mind  that  the  world 
has  about  everything  for  you  that  any  reason- 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     43 

able  being  can  desire.  If  you  can  percolate 
into  my  apartment  and  make  use  of  the  luxuries 
I  had  fondly  hoped  were  exclusively  mine,  I 
can't  see  what  is  to  prevent  your  settling  down 
at  Windsor  Castle  if  you  will.  Aren't  there 
any  comfortable  chairs  and  beds  there  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  whether  there  are  or  not," 
replied  the  Presence.  "  I  never  went  there,  and 
being  a  loyal  British  Presence,  I  should  hesitate 
very  strongly  before  I  would  discommode  the 
Royal  family." 

"  It  might  be  awkward,  I  suppose,"  returned 
Toppleton  with  a  laugh,  "if  you  should  happen 
to  fall  asleep  in  the  Prince  of  Wales'  favourite 
arm-chair,  and  he  should  happen  to  come  in 
and  sit  on  you,  for  I  presume  you  are  no  more 
visible  to  Royalty  than  you  are  to  Republican 
simplicity  as  embodied  in  myself.  Still,  as  a 
loyal  British  subject,  I  should  think  you'd 
rather  be  sat  on  by  the  Prince  than  by  a 
common  mortal." 

As  Hopkins  spoke  these  words  the  chair 
stopped  rocking,  and  if  its  attitude,  meant  any 
thing,  its  invisible  occupant  was  leaning  for 
ward  and  staring  with  pained  astonishment  at  the 
young  lawyer,  who  was  leaning  gracefully  against 
the  mantelpiece.  Then  on  a  sudden  the  chair's 
attitude  was  relaxed  and  it  rocked  slowly  back 
ward  again,  resuming  its  former  pace.  A  few 


44  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

minutes  passed  without  a  word  being  spoken, 
at  the  end  of  which  time  the  spirit  sighed 
deeply. 

"  Is  there  anything  in  this  world,"  it  asked, 
"  is  there  anything  too  sacred  for  you 
Americans  to  joke  about  ?  Have  you  no  ideals, 
no—" 

"  Plenty  of  ideals  but  no  special  idols," 
returned  Hopkins,  perceiving  the  spirit's  drift. 
"  But  of  course,  if  I  hurt  your  feelings  by  joking 
about  the  Prince,  I  apologize.  Though  unasked, 
you  are  still  my  guest,  and  I  should  be  very 
sorry  to  seem  lacking  in  courtesy.  But  tell 
me  about  this  body  of  yours.  How  did  you 
come  to  lose  it,  and  is  it  still  living  ?  " 

"  Yes,  it  is  still  living,"  replied  the  spirit. 
"  Living  a  life  of  honoured  ease." 

"  But  how  the  deuce  did  you  come  to  lose  it  ? 
that's  what  I  can't  understand.  I  have  heard 
of  men  losing  pretty  nearly  everything  but  their 
bodies." 

"  As  I  have  already  told  you,"  said  the  spirit, 
wearily,  "  it  was  stolen  from  me." 

"  And  have  you  no  clue  to  the  thieves  ?  Do 
you  know  where  it  is  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  know  where  it  is.  In  fact  I  saw  it 
only  last  week,"  replied  the  spirit  with  a  sob, 
"  and  it's  getting  old,  Toppleton,  very  old. 
When  it  was  taken  away  from  me  it  was  erect 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     45 

of  stature,  broad-shouldered,  muscular  and  full 
of  health.  To-day  it  is  round-shouldered,  flabby 
and  generally  consumptive-looking.  When  I 
occupied  it,  the  face  was  clean-shaven  and 
ruddy.  The  hair  was  of  a  rich  auburn,  the 
hands  milk  white.  The  carriage  was  graceful, 
and  about  my  lips  there  played  a  smile  that 
fascinated.  The  blue  eyes  sparkled,  the  teeth 
shone  out  between  my  lips  when  I  smiled,  like  a 
strip  of  chased  silver  in  the  sunlight ;  I  tell  you, 
Toppleton,  when  I  had  that  body  it  had  some 
style  about  it ;  but  now — it  breaks  my  heart  to 
think  of  it  now  !  " 

"  It  hasn't  lost  its  good  looks  altogether,  has 
it  ?"  queried  Hopkins,  his  voice  slightly  tremu 
lous  with  the  sympathy  he  was  beginning  to 
feel  for  this  disembodied  entity  before  him. 

"It  has,0  sobbed  the  spirit ;  "and  I'm  not 
surprised  that  it  has,  considering  the  life  it  has 
led  since  I  lost  it.  The  auburn  hair  that  used 
to  be  my  mother's  pride,  and  my  schoolmates' 
source  of  wit,  has  gradually  dropped  away  and 
left  a  hairless  scalp  of  an  insignificant  pinkish 
hue  which  would  disgrace  a  shrimp.  My  once 
happy  smile  has  subsided  into  something  like  a 
toothless  sneer  ;  for  my  dazzling  teeth  are  no 
more.  The  blue  eyes  are  expressionless,  the 
elastic  step  is  halting,  and,  what  is  worse,  the 
present  occupant  of  my  physical  self  has 


46  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

grown  a  beard  that  makes  me  look  like  a 
pirate." 

"  I  wonder  you  recognized  yourself,"  said 
Hopkins. 

"  It  was  strange ;  but  I  did  recognize  myself 
by  my  ring  which  I  still  wear,"  returned  the 
spirit.  "  But,  Toppleton,"  it  added,  "  you  have 
no  notion  how  terrible  it  is  for  a  man  to  see 
himself  growing  old  and  breaking  away  from  all 
the  habits  and  principles  of  youth,  powerless  to 
interfere.  For  instance,  my  body  was  tempe 
rate  when  I  was  in  it.  I  never  drank  more 
than  one  glass  of  whiskey  in  one  day.  Now  it 
is  brandy  and  water  all  day  long,  and  it  galls  me, 
like  the  merry  hereafter,  with  my  temperance 
scruples,  to  see  myself  given  over  to  intemperate 
drams.  /  never  used  profane  language.  Last 
Friday  I  heard  my  own  lips  condemn  a  poor  un 
offending  fly  to  everlasting  punishment.  But  I 
want  to  tell  you  how  this  outrageous  thing  came 
to  pass.  I  want  to  tell  you  how  it  was  that  in  the 
very  bud  of  my  existence  I  was  robbed  of  a  suit 
able  case  in  which  to  go  through  life,  and  I  want 
you,  with  your  extraordinary  knowledge  of  the 
law,  as  I  understand  it  to  be,  to  devise  some 
scheme  for  my  relief.  If  you  don't,  nobody  will, 
and  before  many  years  it  will  be  too  late.  The 
body  is  growing  weaker  every  day.  I  can  see 
that,  and  I  want  to  get  it  back  again  before  it 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     47 

becomes  absolutely  valueless.  I  believe  that 
under  my  care,  restored  to  its  original  owner,  it 
can  be  fixed  up  and  made  quite  respectable  for 
its  declining  years.  Of  course  the  teeth  and  the 
hair  are  gone  for  ever,  but  I  think  I  can  furbish 
up  the  smile,  the  eye  and  the  hands.  I  know 
that  I  can  restore  my  former  good  habits." 

"  I'm  hanged  if  I  see  how  I  can  help  you," 
rejoined  Hopkins.  "  Do  you  mean  to  say  that 
the  present  occupant  of  your  personality  is  the 
creature  who  robbed  you  of  it  ?  " 

"  Precisely,"  said  the  spirit.  "  He's  the 
very  same  person,  and,  stars  above  us,  how  he 
has  abused  the  premises  !  He  has  made  my 
name  famous — " 

"  You  don't  mean  to  say  that  he  took  your 
name  too  ?  "  put  in  Hopkins  incredulously. 

"  I  mean  just  that,"  retorted  the  spirit.  "  He 
stole  my  name,  my  body,  my  prospects,  my 
clothing — every  blessed  thing  I  had  except  my 
consciousness,  and  he  thrust  that  out  into  a 
cold,  unsympathetic  world,  to  float  around  in 
invisible  nebulousness  for  thirty  long  years. 
Oh,  it  is  an  awful  tale  of  villainy,  Toppleton ! 
Awful !  " 

"  You  say  he  has  made  your  name  famous," 
said  Toppleton.     "  You  give  him  credit  for  that, 
don't  you  ?  " 

"  I  would  if  the  very  fame  accorded  my  name 


48  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

did  not  tend  to  make  me  infamous  in  the  eyes 
of  those  I  hold  most  dear  ;  and  the  beastly  part 
of  it  is  that  I  can't  explain  the  situation  to 
them." 

"  Why  not  ?  "  asked  Hopkins.  "  If  you  can 
lay  all  this  misery  bare  to  me,  why  can't  you 
lay  it  before  those  for  whose  good  will  and 
admiration  you  are  lamenting  ?  " 

"  Because,  Hopkins,  they  never  address  me, 
and  it  is  my  hard  fate  not  to  be  able  to  open  a 
conversation,"  returned  the  spirit.  "  If  you  will 
remember,  it  was  not  until  you  asked  me  who 
the  devil  I  was,  or  some  equally  choice  question 
of  like  import,  that  I  began  to  hold  converse 
with  you ;  you  are  the  only  man  with  whom  I 
have  talked  for  thirty  years,  Hopkins,  because 
you  are  the  only  person  who  has  taken  the 
initiative." 

"  Well,  you  goaded  me  into  it,"  returned 
Hopkins.  "  So  I  can't  see  why  you  can't  goad 
your  friends  of  longer  standing  into  it." 

"The  explanation  is  simple,"  replied  the 
spirit.  "  My  friends  haven't  had  the  courage 
to  withstand  the  terrors  of  the  situation.  The 
minute  I  have  whistled,  sighed  or  laughed,  they 
have  made  a  bee  line  for  the  door,  and  raised 
such  a  hullabaloo  about  the  '  supernatural  visi 
tation,'  as  they  termed  my  efforts,  that  I 
couldn't  do  a  thing  with  them.  They've  every- 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     49 

one  of  them,  from  my  respected  mother  down, 
avoided  me,  even  as  that  man  Stubbs  has 
avoided  me.  I  believe  you  too  would  have  fled 
if  the  door  hadn't  locked  automatically,  and  so 
forced  you  to  remain  here." 

"  If  I  could  have  avoided  this  interview  I 
should  most  certainly  have  done  so,"  said 
Toppleton,  candidly.  "  You  can  probably 
guess  yourself  how  very  unpleasant  it  is  to 
be  disturbed  in  your  work  by  a  whistle  that 
emanates  [from  some  unseen  lips,  and  to  have 
your  room  taken  possession  of  by  an  invisible 
being  with  a  grievance." 

"  Yes,  Hopkins.  I've  had  almost  the  same 
experience  myself,"  replied  the  spirit ;  "  and  to 
be  as  candid  with  you  as  you  have  been  with 
me,  I  will  say  that  it  was  just  that  experience, 
and  nothing  else,  that  is  responsible  for  my 
present  difficulties. 

"  That's  encouraging  for  me,"  said  Hopkins, 
nervously.  "But  tell  me  how  have  you  become 
infamously  famous  ?  " 

"  The  bandit  who  now  occupies  my  being 
has  violated  every  principle  of  religion  and 
politics  that  he  found  in  me  when  he  took  pos 
session,"  returned  the  spirit,  leaving  the  rock 
ing-chair  and  settling  down  on  the  mantelpiece, 
in  front  of  the  clock.  "Where  I  was  a  pro 
nounced  Tory  he  has  made  me  vote  with  the 

E 


50  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

Liberals.  Notwithstanding  the  fact  that  I  was 
brought  up  in  the  Church  of  England,  he  joined 
first  the  dissenters  and  is  now  a  thorough 
agnostic,  and  signs  my  name  to  the  most 
outrageous  views  on  social  and  moral  subjects 
you  ever  heard  advanced.  My  family  have  cut 
loose  from  me  as  I  am  represented  by  him,  and 
the  dearest  friend  of  my  youth  never  mentions 
my  name  save  in  terms  of  severest  reprehension. 
Would  you  like  that,  Hopkins  Toppleton  ?  " 

"  I'd  be  precious  far  from  liking  it,"  Hopkins 
answered.  "  It  seems  to  me  I'd  commit  suicide 
under  such  circumstances.  Have  you  thought 
of  that  ?  " 

"  Often,"  replied  the  spirit ;  "  but  the  question 
has  always  been,  how  ?  " 

"Take  poison!  Shoot  yourself!  Drown 
yourself!" 

"  I  can't  take  poison.  That  fiend  who 
robbed  me  has  my  stomach,  so  what  could  I 
put  the  poison  into  ? "  retorted  the  spirit. 
"Shoot  myself?  How?  I  haven't  a  pistol. 
If  I  had  a  pistol  I  couldn't  fire  it,  because  I've 
nothing  to  pull  the  trigger  with.  If  I  had 
something  to  pull  the  trigger  with,  what  should 
I  fire  at  ?  I  have  no  brains  to  blow  out,  no 
heart  to  shoot  at.  I'd  simply  fire  into  air." 

"  How  about  the  third  method  ? "  queried 
Toppleton. 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     51 

"  Drowning  ?  "  asked  the  unhappy  Presence. 
"  That  wouldn't  work.  I've  nothing  to  drown. 
If  I  could  get  under  water,  I'd  bubble  right  up 
again,  so  you  see  it's  useless.  Besides,  it's  only 
the  body  that  dies,  not  the  spirit.  You  see  the 
shape  I'm  left  in." 

"  No,"  returned  Hopkins,  "  I  perceive  the 
lack  of  shape  you  are  left  in,  and  I  must  confess 
you  are  in  the  hardest  luck  of  any  person  I  ever 
knew ;  but  really,  my  dear  sir,  I  don't  see  how 
I  can  render  you  any  assistance,  so  we  might 
as  well  consider  the  interview  at  an  end.  Now 
that  I  am  better  acquainted  with  you  I  will  say, 
however,  that  if  it  gives  you  any  pleasure  to  loll 
around  here  or  to  sleep  up  there  in  my  cloisonne" 
jar  with  the  rose  leaves,  you  are  welcome  to  do 
so." 

"  If  you  would  only  hear  my  story,  Hopkins," 
said  the  spirit,  beseechingly,  "  you  would  be  so 
wrought  up  by  its  horrible  details  that  you 
would  devise  some  plan  for  my  relief.  You 
would  be  less  than  a  man  if  you  did  not,  and  I 
am  told  that  you  Americans  are  great  fighters. 
Take  this  case  for  me,  won't  you  ?  " 

Hopkins  hesitated.  He  was  strongly  inclined 
to  yield,  the  cause  was  so  extraordinary,  and 
yet  he  could  not  in  a  moment  overcome  his 
strongly-cultivated  repugnance  to  burdening 
himself  with  a  client.  Then  he  was  conscien- 


52  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

tious,  too.  He  did  not  wish  to  identify  the 
famous  house  of  Toppleton,  Morley,  Harkins, 
Perkins,  Mawson,  Bronson,  Smithers  and 
Hicks  with  a  case  in  which  the  possibilities  of 
success  seemed  so  remote.  On  the  other  hand 
he  could  not  but  reflect  that,  aside  from  the 
purely  humane  aspect  of  the  matter,  a  success 
ful  issue  would  redound  to  the  everlasting 
glory  of  himself  and  his  partners  over  the  sea 
— that  is,  it  would  if  anybody  could  be  made  to 
believe  in  the  existence  of  such  a  case.  He 
realized  that  the  emergency  was  one  which 
must  be  met  by  himself  alone,  because  he  was 
thoroughly  convinced  that  the  hard-headed 
practical  men  of  affairs  whom  he  represented 
would  scarcely  credit  his  account  of  the  occur 
rences  of  the  last  hour,  and  would  set  him  down 
either  as  having  been  under  the  influence  of 
drink  or  as  having  lost  his  senses.  He  would 
not  have  believed  the  story  himself  if  some  one 
else  had  told  it  to  him,  and  he  could  not  expect 
his  partners  in  New  York  to  be  any  more 
credulous  than  he  would  have  been. 

His  hesitation  was  short-lived,  however,  for 
in  a  moment  it  was  dispelled  by  a  sigh  from  his 
unseen  guest.  It  was  the  most  heartrending 
sigh  he  had  ever  heard,  and  it  overcame  his 
scruples. 

"  By  George  !  "  he  said,  "  I  will  listen  to  your 


THE  WEARY  SPIRIT'S  ACCOUNT  OF  HIMSELF.     53 

story,  and  I'll  help  you  if  I  can,  only  you  will 
unstring  my  nerves  unless  you  get  yourself  a 
shape  of  some  kind  or  other.  It  makes  my 
blood  run  cold  to  sit  here  and  bandy  words 
with  an  absolute  nonentity." 

"  I  don't  know  where  I  can  get  a  shape,"  re 
turned  the  spirit. 

"  What  did  the  thief  who  took  your  shape  dp 
with  his  old  one  ?  "  asked  Hopkins. 

"  He'd  buried  it  before  I  met  him,"  returned 
the  spirit. 

"  Buried  it  ?  Oh,  Heavens  !  "  cried  Hopkins, 
seizing  his  hat.  "  Let's  get  out  of  this  and 
take  a  little  fresh  air ;  if  we  don't,  I'll  go  mad. 
Come,"  he  added,  addressing  the  spirit,  "we'll 
run  over  to  the  Lowther  Arcade  and  buy  a  form. 
If  we  can't  find  anything  better  we'll  get  a 
wooden  Indian  or  a  French  doll,  or  anything 
having  human  semblance  so  that  you  can  climb 
into  it  and  lessen  the  infernal  uncanniness  of 
your  disembodiment." 

Hopkins  rang  the  janitor's  bell  again,  and 
when  that  worthy  appeared  he  had  him  unfasten 
the  door  from  the  outside ;  then  he  and  the 
spirit  started  out  in  search  of  an  embodiment 
for  the  exiled  soul. 

"  Hi  thinks  as  'ow  'e  must  be  craizy,"  said 
the  janitor,  as  Toppleton  disappeared  around 
the  corner  in  animated  conversation  with  his 


54  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

invisible  client.  "  E's'  talkin'  away  like  hall 
possessed,  hand  nobody  as  hi  can  see  within 
hearshot.  These  Hamericans  is  nothink  much 
has  far  as  'ead  goes." 

As  for  Toppleton  and  the  Presence,  they 
found  in  the  Lowther  Arcade  just  what  they 
wanted — an  Aunt  Sallie  with  a  hollow  head, 
into  which  the  spirit  was  able  to  enter,  and 
from  which  it  told  its  tale  of  woe,  sitting, 
bodily  and  visibly,  in  the  rocking-chair,  before 
the  eyes  of  Hopkins  Toppleton,  the  words 
falling  fluently  from  the  open  lips  of  the  dusky 
incubus  the  spirit  had  put  on. 

"  It  was  odd,  but  not  too  infernally  weird," 
said  Hopkins  afterwards,  "  and  I  was  able  to 
listen  without  losing  my  equanimity,  to  one  of 
the  meanest  tales  of  robbery  I  ever  heard." 


CHAPTER  V. 

HOPKINS   BECOMES   BETTER  ACQUAINTED   WITH 
THE  WEARY   SPIRIT. 

"  I  DO  not  know,"  said  the  weary  spirit,  as  he 
entered  the  head  of  the  Aunt  Sallie  and 
endeavoured  to  make  himself  comfortable 
therein,  "  I  do  not  know  whether  I  can  do 
justice  to  my  story  in  these  limited  head 
quarters  or  not,  but  I  can  try.  It  isn't  a  good 
fit,  this  body  isn't,  and  I  cannot  help  being 
conscious  that  to  your  eyes  I  must  appear  as  a 
blackamoor,  which,  to  an  English  spirit  of 
cultivation  and  refinement  such  as  I  am,  is 
more  or  less  discomfiting." 

"  I  shouldn't  mind  if  I  were  you,"  returned 
Hopkins.  "  It's  very  becoming  to  you  ;  much 
more  so,  indeed,  than  that  airy  nothingness 
you  had  on  when  I  first  perceived  you,  and 
while  your  tale  may  be  more  or  less  affected  by 
your  consciousness  of  the  strange,  ready-made 
physiognomy  you  have  assumed,  I,  nevertheless, 


56  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

can  grasp  it  better  than  I  might  if  you  persisted 
in  sounding  off  your  woes  from  an  empty 
rocking-chair,  or  from  the  edge  of  my  cloisonne 
rose  jar." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  blame  you,  Toppleton," 
returned  the  spirit.  "  I  am,  on  the  contrary, 
very  grateful  to  you  for  what  you  have  done 
for  me.  I  shall  always  appreciate  your 
generosity,  for  instance,  in  buying  me  this 
shape  in  order  to  give  me  at  least  a  semblance 
of  individuality,  and  I  assure  you  that  if  I  can 
ever  get  back  into  my  real  body,  I  will  work  it 
to  the  verge  of  nervous  prostration  to  serve  you, 
should  you  stand  in  need  of  assistance  in  any 
way." 

Hopkins'  scrutiny  of  the  Aunt  Sallie,  as  these 
words  issued  from  the  round  aperture  in  the 
red  lips  made  originally  to  hold  the  pipe  stem, 
but  now  used  as  a  tubal  exit  for  the  tale  of  woe, 
was  so  searching  that  anything  less  stolid  than 
the  wooden  head  would  have  flinched.  The 
Aunt  Sallie  stood  it,  however,  without  showing 
a  trace  of  emotion,  gazing  steadfastly  with  her 
bright  blue  eyes  out  of  the  window,  her  eyelids 
more  fixed  than  the  stars  themselves,  since  no 
sign  of  a  wink  or  a  twinkle  did  they  give. 

"  I  wish,"  said  Toppleton,  experiencing  a 
slight  return  of  his  awed  chilliness  as  he  ob 
served  the  unyielding  fixity  of  Sallie's  expres- 


HOPKINS   BECOMES   BETTER   ACQUAINTED.      57 

sion,  "  in  fact,  I  earnestly  wish  we  could  have 
secured  a  ventriloquist's  marionette  instead  of 
that  thing  you've  got  on.  It  would  really  be  a 
blessing  to  me  if  you  could  wink  your  eyes,  or 
wag  your  ears,  or  change  your  expression  in 
some  way  or  other." 

"  I  don't  see  how  it  can  be  done,"  returned 
the  spirit  from  behind  Toppleton's  back.  "  I 
cannot  exercise  any  control  over  these  wooden 
features." 

Hopkins  jumped  two  or  three  feet  across  the 
room,  the  unexpected  locality  of  the  voice  gave 
him  such  a  shock,  and  the  pulsation  of  his 
heart  leaped  madly  from  the  normal  to  the 
triply  abnormal. 

"  Wh — whuh — what  the  devil  did  you  do 
tha — that  for  ?  "  he  cried,  as  soon  as  he  was 
calm  enough  to  speak.  "  Do  y — you  want  to 
give  me  heart  failure  ?  " 

"  Not  I  ! "  replied  the  spirit,  once  more 
returning  to  the  Sallie.  "  That  would  be  a 
very  unbusiness-like  proceeding  on  my  part  at 
a  time  like  this,  when,  after  thirty  years  of 
misery,  I  find  at  last  one  who  is  willing  to 
champion  my  cause.  I  only  wanted  to  see  how 
my  second  self  looked  in  this  chair.  To  my 
eyes  I  appear  rather  plain  and  dusky-looking, 
but  what's  the  odds  ?  The  figure  will  serve 
its  purpose,  and  after  all  that's  what  we  want. 


58  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

I'm  sorry  to  have  frightened  you,  Toppleton, 
honestly  sorry." 

"  Oh,  never  mind,"  rejoined  Toppleton, 
graciously.  "  Only  don't  do  it  again.  Let's 
have  the  tale  now." 

"  Very  well,"  said  the  spirit.  "  If  you  will 
kindly  shove  me  further  back  into  the  chair, 
and  arrange  my  overskirt  for  me,  I'll  begin — 
that's  another  uncomfortable  thing  about  my 
situation  at  present.  It's  somewhat  trying  to 
a  spirit  of  masculine  habits  to  find  himself 
arrayed  in  a  shape  wearing  the  habiliments  of 
the  other  sex." 

Hopkins  did  as  he  was  requested,  and,  throw 
ing  himself  down  on  his  lounge,  lit  his  pipe,  and 
announced  himself  as  ready  to  listen. 

"  I  think  I'd  like  a  pipe  myself,"  said  the 
Sallie.  "  I've  got  a  fine  place  for  one,  I  see." 

"  How  can  you  talk  if  you  stop  your  mouth 
up  with  a  pipe  ?  "  asked  Hopkins. 

"  Through  my  nose,"  replied  the  spirit.  "  Or 
there  are  holes  in  the  ears,  I  can  talk  through 
them  quite  as  well." 

"  Well,  I  guess  not,"  returned  Hopkins.  "  I 
have  had  enough  of  your  weird  vocal  exercises 
to-day  without  having  you  talk  with  your  ears, 
but  if  you'll  smoke  with  one  or  both  of  them, 
you're  welcome  to  do  it." 

"Very   well,"    replied    the  spirit.     "I  fancy 


HOPKINS  BECOMES  BETTER  ACQUAINTED.   59 

you're  right,  and  inasmuch  as  I  haven't  had  a 
pipe  for  thirty  years,  I'll  let  you  fill  up  two  for 
me,  and  I'll  try  'em  both." 

Accordingly  Hopkins  filled  two  of  the  clay 
pipes,  three  dozen  of  which  had  come  with  the 
Aunt  Sallie,  and  lighting  them  for  the  spirit, 
placed  them  in  the  ears  of  his  vis-a-vis  as 
requested. 

"  Ah,"  said  the  spirit  as  he  began  to  puff, 
"this  is  what  I  call  comfort."  And  then  he 
began  his  story. 

"  I  was  born,"  he  said,  breathing  forth  a 
cloud  of  smoke  from  his  right  ear,  "  sixty  years 
ago  in  a  small  house  within  a  stone's  throw  of 
what  is  now  the  band  stand  in  the  park  at 
Buxton." 

"  You  must  have  had  human  catapults  in 
those  days,"  interrupted  Toppleton,  for  as  he 
remembered  the  band  stand  at  Buxton,  it 
was  situated  at  some  considerable  distance  from 
anything  which  in  any  degree  represented  a 
habitation  in  which  one  could  begin  life  com 
fortably. 

"  I  don't  know  about  that.  I  am  not  telling 
you  a  sporting  tale.  I  am  simply  narrating 
the  events  of  my  career,  such  as  they  are," 
returned  the  spirit,  "  and  my  father  has  assured 
me  that  the  house  in  which  I  first  saw  light 
was,  as  I  have  said,  within  a  stone's  throw  of 


60  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

what  is  now  the  band  stand  in  the  Buxton  Park. 
The  band  stand  may  have  been  nearer  the 
house  in  the  old  days  than  it  is  now, — that  is  an 
insignificant  sort  of  a  detail  anyhow,  and  if 
you'd  prefer  it  I  will  put  it  in  this  way  :  I  was 
born  at  Buxton  sixty  years  ago  in  a  small  house, 
no  longer  standing,  from  whose  windows  the 
band  stand  in  the  park  might  have  been  seen 
if  there  had  been  one  there.  How  is  that  ?  " 

"  Perfectly  satisfactory,"  replied  Hopkins. 
"  A  statement  of  that  kind  would  be  accepted 
in  any  court  in  the  land  as  veracious  on  the 
face  of  it,  whereas  we  might  be  called  upon  to 
prove  that  other  tale,  which  between  you  and 
me  had  about  it  a  distinctly  Munchausenesque 
flavour." 

The  spirit  was  evidently  much  impressed 
with  this  reasoning,  for  he  forgot  himself  for  a 
moment,  and  inhaled  some  of  the  smoke,  so  that 
it  came  out  between  his  lips  instead  of  from  his 
ears  as  before. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  you  take  such  interest  in 
the  matter,"  he  said  after  a  moment's  reflection. 
"  We  must  indeed  have  an  absolutely  irre- 
fragible  story  if  we  are  to  take  it  to  court.  I 
had  not  thought  of  that.  But  to  resume.  My 
parents  were  like  most  others  of  their  class, 
poor  but  honest.  My  mother  was  a  poetess 
with  an  annuity.  My  father  was  a  non-resistant, 


HOPKINS  BECOMES  BETTER  ACQUAINTED.   6l 

a  sort  of  forerunner  of  Tolstoi,  with  none  of  the 
latter's  energy.  He  was  content  to  live  along 
on  my  mother's  annuity,  leaving  her  for  her  own 
needs  an  undivided  interest  in  the  earnings  of 
her  pen." 

"  He  was  a  gentleman  of  leisure,  then," 
returned  Hopkins,  "  with  pronounced  leanings 
towards  the  sedentary  school  of  philosophy." 

"That's  it,"  replied  the  spirit.  "That  was 
my  father  in  a  nut-shell.  He  took  things  as 
they  came — indeed  that  was  his  chief  fault.  As 
mother  used  to  say,  he  not  only  took  things  as 
they  came,  but  took  all  there  was  to  take,  so 
that  there  was  never  anything  left  for  the  rest 
of  us.  His  non-resistant  tendencies  were 
almost  a  curse  to  the  family.  Why,  he'd  even 
listen  to  mother's  poetry  and  not  complain.  If 
there  were  weeds  in  the  garden,  he  would  sub 
mit  tamely,  rather  than  take  a  hoe  and  eradi 
cate  them.  He  used  to  sigh  once  in  awhile  and 
condemn  my  mother's  parents  for  leaving  her 
so  little  that  she  could  not  afford  to  hire  a  man 
to  keep  our  place  in  order,  but  further  than 
this  he  did  not  murmur.  My  mother,  on  the 
other  hand,  was  energetic  in  her  special  line. 
I've  known  that  woman  to  turn  out  fifteen 
poems  in  a  morning,  and,  at  one  time,  I  think  it 
was  the  day  of  Victoria's  coronation,  she  wrote 
an  elegy  on  William  the  Fourth  of  sixty-eight 


6a  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

stanzas,  and  a  coronation  ode  that  reached 
from  one  end  of  the  parlour  to  the  other, — doing 
it  all  between  luncheon  and  dinner.  Dinner 
was  four  hours  late  to  be  sure,  but  even  that 
does  not  affect  the  wonderful  quality  of  the 
achievement." 

"  Didn't  your  father  resist  that  ?  "  queried 
Toppleton,  sympathetically. 

"No,"  replied  the  spirit,  "  never  uttered  a 
complaint." 

"  He  must  have  been  an  extraordinary  man," 
observed  Toppleton,  shaking  his  head  in 
wonder. 

"  He  was,"  assented  the  spirit.  "  Father 
was  a  genius  in  his  way ;  but  he  was  born  tired, 
and  he  never  seemed  able  to  outgrow  it." 

Here  the  spirit  requested  Toppleton's  per 
mission  to  leave  the  Aunt  Sallie  for  a  moment. 
The  head  was  getting  too  full  of  smoke  for 
comfort. 

"  I'll  just  sit  over  here  on  the  waste  basket 
until  the  smoke  has  a  chance  to  get  out,"  he 
said.  "  If  I  don't,  it  will  be  the  ruin  of  me." 

"  All  right,"  returned  Toppleton.  "  I  sup 
pose  when  a  man  is  reduced  to  nothing  but  a 
voice,  it  is  rather  destructive  to  his  health  to 
get  diluted  with  tobacco  smoke.  But,  I  say, 
that  was  a  pretty  tough  condition  of  affairs  in 
your  house  I  should  say.  Poetic  mother,  do* 


HOPKINS   BECOMES   BETTER  ACQUAINTED.      63 

nothing  father,  small  income  and  a  baby.    How 
did  you  manage  to  live  ?  " 

"  Oh,  we  lived  well  enough,"  replied  the 
spirit.  "  The  income  was  large  enough  to  pay 
the  rent  and  keep  father  from  hunger  and  thirst 
— particularly  the  latter.  Mother,  being  a  poet, 
didn't  eat  anything  to  speak  of,  and  I  fed  on 
cow's  milk.  We  had  a  cow  chiefly  because 
her  appetite  kept  the  grass  cut,  and  when  I 
came  along  she  served  an  additional  useful  pur 
pose.  In  the  matter  of  clothing  we  did  first 
rate.  Mother's  trousseau  lasted  as  long  as  she 
did,  and  father  never  needed  anything  more 
than  the  suit  he  was  married  in.  Inheriting 
my  mother's  poetic  traits,  and  my  father's  ten 
dency  to  let  things  come  as  they  might  and  go 
as  they  would,  it  is  hardly  strange  that  as  I 
grew  older  I  became  addicted  to  habits  of  in 
decision  ;  that  I  lacked  courage  when  a  slight 
display  of  that  quality  meant  success ;  that  I 
was  invariably  found  wanting  in  the  little  crises 
which  make  up  existence  in  this  sphere  ;  that 
I  always  let  slip  the  opportunities  which  were 
mine,  and  that  at  those  tides  of  my  own  affairs 
which  taken  at  the  flood  would  have  led  on  to 
fortune,  I  was  always  high  and  dry  somewhere 
out  of  reach,  and  that,  in  consequence,  all  the 
voyage  of  my  life  has  been  bound  in  shallows  and 
in  miseries,  as  my  mother  would  have  said." 


64  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Your  mother  must  have  been  a  diligent 
student  of  Shakespeare,"  Toppleton  retorted, 
resenting  the  spirit's  appropriation  to  his 
mother  of  the  great  singer's  words,  and  also 
taking  offence  at  the  implied  reflection  upon 
his  own  reading. 

"  Yes,  she  was,"  replied  the  spirit  unabashed. 
"  In  fact,  my  mother  was  so  saturated — she  was 
more  than  imbued — with  the  spirit  of  Shake 
speare,  that  she  was  frequently  unable  to  dis 
tinguish  her  own  poems  from  his,  a  condition 
of  affairs  which  was  the  cause,  at  one  time,  of 
her  being  charged  with  plagiarism,  when  she 
was  in  reality  guilty  of  nothing  worse  than  un 
conscious  cerebration." 

"  That  is  an  unfortunate  disease  when  it 
develops  into  verbatim  appropriation,"  said 
Toppleton,  drily. 

"  Precisely  my  father's  words,"  returned  the 
spirit.  "  But  the  effect  of  such  parental  causes, 
as  I  have  already  said,"  continued  the  exiled 
soul,  "  was  a  pusillanimous  offspring,  which 
for  the  offspring  in  question,  myself,  was 
extremely  disastrous.  The  poet  in  me  was  just 
sufficiently  well  developed  to  give  me  a  mala 
rious  idea  of  life.  In  spite  of  my  sex  I  was  a 
poetess  rather  than  a  poet.  I  could  begin  an 
epic  or  a  triolet  without  any  trouble ;  but  I 
never  knew  when  to  stop/ a  failing  not  neces- 


HOPKINS   BECOMES   BETTER  ACQUAINTED.      65 

sarily  fatal  to  an  epic,  but  death  to  a  triolet. 
The  true  climaxes  of  my  lucubrations  were 
generally  avoided,  and  miserably  inadequate 
compromises  adopted  in  their  stead.  My  muse 
was  a  snivelling,  weak-kneed  sort  of  creature, 
who,  had  she  been  of  this  earth,  would  have 
belonged  to  the  ranks  of  those  who  are  addicted 
to  smelling-salts,  influenza  and  imaginary 
troubles,  and  not  the  strong,  picturesque,  help 
ful  female,  calculated  to  goad  a  man  on  to 
immortality.  I  generally  knew  what  was  the 
right  thing  to  do,  but  never  had  the  courage  to 
do  it.  That  was  my  peculiarity,  and  it  has 
brought  me  to  this — to  the  level  of  a  soul  with 
no  habitation  save  the  effigy  of  a  negress,  pro 
vided  for  me  by  a  charitably  disposed  chance 
acquaintance." 

"  You  do  not  appear  to  have  had  a  single 
redeeming  feature,"  said  Toppleton,  some  dis 
gust  manifested  on  his  countenance,  for  to  tell 
the  truth  he  was  thoroughly  disappointed  to 
learn  that  the  spirit's  moral  cowardice  had 
brought  his  trouble  upon  him. 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  had,"  replied  the  spirit  hastily, 
as  if  anxious  to  rehabilitate  himself  in  his 
host's  eyes.  "  I  was  strong  in  one  particular. 
In  matters  pertaining  to  religion  I  was  unusually 
strong.  My  very  meekness  rendered  me  so." 

"  Your  kind  of  meekness  isn't  the  kind  that 

F 


66  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

inherits  the  earth,  though,"  retorted  Toppleton. 
"  Meekness  that  means  the  abandonment  of 
right  for  the  sake  of  peace  is  a  crime.  Meek 
ness  that  subverts  self-respect  is  an  offence 
against  society.  Meekness  which  is  synony 
mous  with  pusillanimity  is  not  the  meekness 
which  develops  into  true  religious  feeling." 

"  No  ;  that  is  very  true,"  said  the  spirit.  "  I 
do  not  deny  one  word  of  what  you  say  ;  but  I, 
nevertheless,  was  an  extremely  religious  boy, 
nor  did  I  change  when  I  entered  upon  man's 
estate  ;  and  it  is  that  strong  religious  fervour 
with  which  my  spirit  is  still  imbued  that  has 
made  my  cup  so  much  the  more  bitter,  since, 
as  I  have  hinted,  he  who  robbed  me  of 
my  body  has  written  pamphlets  of  the  most 
shocking  sort  over  my  name,  denouncing  the 
Church  and  attempting  to  upset  the  whole  fabric 
of  Christianity." 

"  I  am  anxious  to  get  to  the  details  of  the 
robbery,"  said  Toppleton,  with  a  smile  of  sym 
pathy  ;  "  pass  over  your  extreme  youth  and 
come  to  that." 

"  I  will  do  so,"  replied  the  spirit,  returning 
to  the  figure  Toppleton  had  provided  for  him, 
the  smoke  having  by  this  time  evacuated  his 
new  habitation.  "  I  will  omit  the  details  of  my 
life  up  to  the  time  when  I  became  a  lawyer 
and—" 


HOPKINS   BECOMES   BETTER  ACQUAINTED.      67 

"  You  don't  mean  to  say  you  ever  became  a 
lawyer  ?  "  interrupted  Hopkins,  incredulously. 

"Why,  certainly,"  replied  the  spirit;  "I 
became  a  lawyer,  and  at  the  time  I  lost  my 
body  I  was  getting  to  be  considered  a  famous 
one." 

"  How  on  earth,  with  your  meekness,  did  you 
ever  have  the  courage  to  take  up  a  profession 
that  requires  nerve  and  an  aggressive  nature  if 
success  is  to  be  sought  after  ? "  asked  the 
American. 

"  It  was  that  same  fatal  inability  to  make  up 
my  mind  to  do  what  my  conscience  prompted. 
It  was  another  one  of  my  compromises,"  re 
turned  the  spirit,  sadly.  "  I  couldn't  make  up 
my  mind  between  the  pulpit  and  literature,  so 
I  compromised  on  the  law,  mastered  it  to  a 
sufficient  extent  to  be  admitted  to  practice,  and 
opened  an  office — the  same  room,  by  the  way, 
as  that  in  which  you  and  I  are  seated  at  this 
moment." 

"  Do  you  remember  any  of  your  law  now  ?  " 
Toppleton  asked  uneasily,  for  he  was  afraid  the 
spirit  might  discover  how  ignorant  he  was  on 
the  subject. 

"  Not  a  line  of  it,"  returned  the  spirit.  "  It 
has  gone  from  me  as  completely  as  my  name, 
my  body,  my  auburn  hair  and  my  teeth.  But 
I  was  a  lawyer,  and  by  slow  degrees  I  built  up 

F   2 


68  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

a  fair  practice.  People  seemed  to  recognize 
how  strong  I  was  in  matters  of  compromise, 
and  cases  that  were  not  considered  strong 
enough  to  take  into  court  were  brought  to  me 
in  order  that  I  might  suggest  methods  of 
adjustment  satisfactory  to  both  parties.  For 
three  years  I  did  a  thriving  business  here,  and 
for  one  whose  knowledge  of  the  law  was  limited 
I  got  along  very  well.  I  was  one  of  the  few 
barristers  in  London  who  had  become  well- 
known  to  litigants  without  ever  having  appeared 
in  court,  and  I  was  very  well  satisfied  with  my 
prospects. 

"  Everything  went  smoothly  with  me  until  a 
few  weeks  after  I  had  passed  my  thirtieth 
birthday,  when  a  man  came  into  my  office  and 
retained  me  in  an  inheritance  case,  in  which 
the  amount  involved  was  thirty  thousand 
pounds.  He  had  been  made  defendant  in  a 
suit  brought  against  him  by  his  own  brother 
for  the  recovery  of  that  sum.  It  was  a  very 
complicated  case,  but  the  brother  really  had  no 
valid  claim  to  the  money.  The  father  of  the 
two  men,  ten  minutes  before  his  death,  had  told 
my  client  in  confidence  that  it  was  his  desire 
that  he  should  inherit  sixty  thousand  pounds 
more  than  the  other  brother,  telling  him,  how 
ever,  that  he  must  get  it  for  himself,  since  the 
written  will  of  the  dying  man  provided  that  the 


HOPKINS   BECOMES  BETTER  ACQUAINTED.      69 

two  sons  should  share  and  share  alike.  In  spas 
modic  gasps  the  old  man  added  that  he  would 
find  the  money  concealed  in  a  secret  drawer  in 
an  old  desk  up  in  the  attic,  in  sixty  one-thousand 
pound  notes.  My  client,  realizing  that  his  father 
could  not  last  many  minutes  longer,  and  feeling 
that  his  dying  wishes  should  not  be  thwarted, 
rushed  from  the  room  to  the  attic,  and  after 
rummaging  about  for  nine  minutes,  found  the 
drawer  and  touched  the  secret  spring.  Un 
fortunately  the  day  was  a  very  damp  one,  and 
the  drawer  stuck,  so  that  it  was  fully  eleven 
minutes  before  the  money  was  really  in  my 
client's  hands.  He  shoved  it  into  his  pocket 
and  went  downstairs  again,  where  he  learned 
that  his  father  had  expired  one  minute  before, 
or  just  ten  minutes  after  he  had  left  him. 

"  The  other  son  not  long  after  discovered  what 
had  been  done,  and  after  listening  to  my  client's 
story,  decided  to  contest  his  title  to  his  share 
of  the  sixty  thousand  pounds,  alleging  that  the 
money  not  having  passed  into  my  client's  hands 
until  after  the  testator's  death,  belonged  to  the 
estate,  and  could  only  be  diverted  therefrom 
upon  the  production  of  an  instrument  in  writing 
over  the  deceased  man's  signature,  duly  wit 
nessed.  You  see,"  added  the  spirit,  "  that  was 
a  very  fine  point." 

"Yes,  indeed!"  said  Toppleton;    "it's  the 


70  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

kind  of  a  point  that  I  hope  and  pray  may  never 
puncture  my  professional  epidermis,  for  I'll  be 
hanged  if  I'd  know  what  to  advise.  What  did 
you  do  ?  " 

"  Ah  !  "  sighed  the  spirit,  "  there's  where  the 
trouble  came  in.  I  studied  that  case  diligently. 
I  consulted  every  law  book  I  could  find.  Every 
leading  case  on  inheritance  matters  I  read, 
marked,  learned  and  inwardly  digested,  and  I 
made  up  my  mind  that  if  we  could  prove  that 
my  client's  watch  was  fast  upon  that  occasion, 
and  that  the  money  was  in  his  hands  one  minute 
before  his  father's  death  instead  of  one  minute 
after  it,  the  plaintiff  would  not  have  a  leg  to 
stand  on.  Then  it  occurred  to  me  '  this  means 
trouble.'  It  means  a  long  and  tedious  litiga 
tion.  It  means  defeat,  appeal,  victory,  appeal, 
defeat,  appeal,  on,  on  through  all  the  courts  in 
Great  Britain,  and  finally  the  House  of  Lords, 
the  result  being  the  loss  to  my  client  of  every 
penny  of  the  amount  involved,  even  though  he 
should  ultimately  win  the  suit,  and  the  loss  to 
me  of  sleep,  the  development  of  nerves  and  a 
career  of  unrelieved  anxiety.  Compromise  was 
the  proper  course  to  be  recommended." 

"  A  proper  conclusion,  I  should  say,"  said 
Toppleton. 

"  I  think  so,  too,"  replied  the  spirit,  "  and  if 
I  had  only  remained  true  to  my  instincts  my 


HOPKINS   BECOMES  BETTER  ACQUAINTED.      71 

client  would  have  compromised,  and  I  should 
have  been  spared  all  that  followed.  It  would 
have  been  better  for  all  concerned,  for  I  should 
have  been  in  possession  of  myself  to-day,  and 
my  client  by  compromising  would  in  the  end 
have  lost  no  more  than  he  had  to  pay  me  for 
my  services — fifteen  thousand  pounds." 

"  Phe— e— ew !  "  whistled  Hopkins.  "  That 
was  a  swindle  !  " 

"  Yes,  but  I  wasn't  party  to  it,  as  you  will 
shortly  see.  When  I  made  up  my  mind  that 
compromise  was  the  best  settlement  of  the 
case,  all  things  considered,  I  sat  down  right 
here  by  this  window  to  write  to  Mr.  Baskins  to 
that  effect.  It  was  a  beastly  night  out.  The 
wind  shrieked  through  the  court  there,  and  it  was 
cold  enough  to  freeze  the  marrow  in  a  grilled 
bone.  I  was  just  about  to  sign  my  communica 
tion  to  Mr.  Baskins,  when  I  heard  a  knock  at 
the  door. 

"  '  Come  in,'  I  said. 

"  And  then,  Mr.  Toppleton,  as  sure  as  I  am 
sitting  here  in  this  Aunt  Sallie  talking  to  you, 
the  door  opened  and  then  slowly  closed,  a  light 
step  was  perceptible  to  the  ear,  moving  across 
the  carpet,  and  in  a  moment  a  rocking-chair 
owned  by  me  began  to  sway  to  and  fro,  just  as 
this  one  sways  when  I  or  you  are  sitting  in  it, 
but  to  my  eyes  there  was  absolutely  nothing 


72  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

visible    that    had    not    always    been    in    the 
room." 

Hopkins  began  to  feel  chilly  again. 

"  You  mean  to  say  that  to  all  intents  and 
purposes,  an  invisible  being  like  yourself  called 
on  you  as  you  have  called  on  me  ?  "  he  said  in 
a  minute,  his  breath  coming  in  short,  quick 
gasps. 

"  Precisely,"  returned  the  incumbent  of  the 
Aunt  Sallie.  "  I  was  visited,  even  as  you  have 
been  visited,  by  an  invisible  being,  only  my 
visitor  did  not  remain  invisible,  for  as  I  sprang 
to  my  feet,  my  whole  being  palpitant  with 
terror,  the  lamp  on  my  table  sputtered  and 
went  out ;  and  then  I  saw,  sitting  luminous  in 
the  dark,  gazing  at  me  with  large,  gaping,  un- 
fathomably  deep  green  eyes,  a  creature  having 
the  semblance  of  a  man,  but  of  a  man  no  longer 
of  this  earth." 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS  A   HORRID   TALE. 

"  IF  ever  a  man  had  a  right  to  swoon  away, 
Hopkins,"  continued  the  spirit,  his  voice  drop 
ping  to  a  whisper,  "  I  was  that  man,  and  I  pre 
sume  I  should  have  done  so  but  for  the  ever 
lasting  spirit  of  compromise  in  my  breast.  The 
proper  thing  to  do  under  the  circumstances 
was  manifestly  to  flop  down  on  the  carpet 
insensate,  just  as  you  did  when  I  announced 
myself  to  you  ;  and  I  assure  you  I  had  greater 
reason  for  so  doing  than  you  had,  for  my  visitor 
had  absolutely  no  limitations  whatsoever  in  the 
line  of  the  horrible.  He  was  an  affront  to  every 
sense,  and  not,  like  myself,  trying  only  to  the 
ear.  To  the  sense  of  sight  was  he  most 
horrible,  and  I  would  have  given  anything  I 
possessed  to  be  able  to  remove  my  eyes  from 
his  dreadful  personality,  with  the  long  bony 
claws  where  you  and  I  have  fingers ;  with 


74  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

tight-drawn  cheeks  so  transparent  that  through 
them  could  be  seen  his  hideous  jaws  ;  with 
eyes  which  stared  even  when  the  lids  closed 
over  them  ;  and,  worst  of  all,  his  throbbing 
brain  was  visible  as  it  worked  inside  his  skull ; 
and  so  bloodless  of  aspect  was  he  withal,  that 
the  mind  instinctively  likened  him  to  a  fasting 
vampire." 

"  Excuse  me !  "  groaned  Hopkins,  throwing 
himself  down  on  the  couch  and  burying  his 
face  in  the  pillow.  "  This  is  awful.  I've 
crossed  the  ocean  eight  times,  Sallie,  and 
until  now  I  have  never  known  sea-sickness, 
but  this — this  vampire  of  yours  is  mightier 
than  Neptune ;  just  hand  me  the  whiskey." 

"  I'm  sorry  it  affects  you  that  way,  Hopkins," 
said  the  spirit,  "  and  I'd  gladly  give  you  the 
whiskey  if  I  could,  but  you  know  how  circum 
scribed  my  abilities  are.  I  haven't  any  hand  to 
hand  it  with." 

"  Never  mind,"  said  Hopkins,  the  colour 
returning  to  his  cheeks,  "  I  feel  better  now.  It 
was  only  a  sudden  turn  I  had ;  only,  my  friend, 
go  slow  on  the  horrible,  will  you  ?  " 

"  I  wish  I  could,"  replied  the  spirit  sadly, 
"  but  the  cause  of  truth  requires  that  I  tell  you 
precisely  what  happened,  omitting  no  single 
detail  of  the  sickening  totality.  Perhaps, 
before  I  proceed,  you  had  better  take  a  dozen 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS  A   HORRID  TALE.      75 

grains  of  quinine,  and  have  the  whiskey  within 
reach." 

"  That  is  a  good  suggestion,"  said  Hopkins, 
rising  and  gulping  down  the  pills,  and  grasping 
the  neck  of  the  square-cut  bottle  containing  the 
treasured  fluid,  with  his  trembling  hand.  "  Go 
ahead,"  he  said,  as  he  resumed  his  recumbent 
position  on  the  couch. 

"  To  the  olfactories,"  resumed  the  spirit, 
"  the  visitant  was  stifling.  A  gross  of  sulphur 
matches  let  off  all  at  once  would  be  a  weak 
imitation  of  the  atmospheric  condition  of  this 
room  after  he  had  been  here  two  minutes,  and 
yet  I  did  not  dare  to  turn  from  him  to  open  the 
window.  My  only  weapon  of  defence  was  my 
eye,  under  the  tense  gaze  of  which  he  seemed 
uneasy,  and  I  was  fearful  of  what  might  happen 
were  I  to  permit  it  to  waver  for  one  instant. 
His  colour  was  simply  deadly.  I  should  describe 
it  best,  perhaps,  as  of  a  pallid  green  in  which 
there  was  a  suggestion  of  yellow  that  heightened 
the  general  effect  to  the  point  where  it  became 
ghastly." 

Here  Hopkins'  eyelids  fluttered,  and  the 
bottle  was  raised  to  his  lips.  When  the 
draught  had  been  taken  the  bottle  dropped 
from  his  nerveless  fingers  to  the  floor,  and 
shivered  into  countless  slivers  of  brown 
crystal. 


76  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Jove  !  "  ejaculated  the  spirit.  "  That  was 
very  unfortunate,  Hop — " 

"  No  matter,"  interrupted  Hopkins,  "  it  was 
empty.  Go  on.  Did  this  private  view  you 
and  the  Nile-green  apparition  were  having  of 
each  other  last  for  ever  ?  " 

"  No,"  returned  the  spirit,  "  it  did  not.  It 
probably  lasted  less  than  a  minute,  although  it 
seemed  a  century.  I  tried  half  a  dozen  times 
to  speak,  but  my  words  were  frozen  on  my 
lips." 

"  Why  didn't  you  break  them  off  and  throw 
them  at  him  ?  "  suggested  Toppleton,  hysteri 
cal  to  the  point  of  flippancy. 

"  Because  I  did  not  possess  the  genius  of 
the  Yankee  who  is  inventive  where  the  Briton 
is  only  enduring,"  retorted  the  spirit,  some 
what  disgusted  at  Toppleton's  airy  treatment 
of  his  awful  situation.  "  Finally  my  visitor 
spoke,  and  for  an  instant  I  wished  he  hadn't, 
his  voice  was  so  abominably  harsh,  so  jang 
ling  to  every  nerve  in  my  body,  however 
callous." 

"  *  You  don't  appear  to  be  glad  to  see  me,'  he 
said. 

"'Well,  to  tell  you  the  truth,'  I  replied,  'I 
am  not.  I  am  not  a  collector  of  optical 
delusions,  nor  am  I  a  lover  of  the  horrible  and 
mysterious.' 


THE   SPIRIT  UNFOLDS  A  HORRID   TALE.      77 

"  '  But  I  am  your  friend,'  remonstrated  my 
visitor. 

" '  I  should  dislike  to  be  judged  by  my 
friends,  if  that  is  so,'  I  returned,  throwing  as 
much  withering  contempt  into  my  glance  as  I 
possibly  could.  '  I  think,'  I  resumed,  '  if  I 
were  to  be  seen  walking  down  Piccadilly  with 
you,  I  should  be  cut  by  every  self-respecting 
acquaintance  I  have.' 

"  *  You  are  an  ungrateful  wretch,'  said  the 
intruder.  *  Here  I  have  travelled  myriads  of 
miles  to  help  you,  and  the  minute  I  put  in  an 
appearance  you  cast  worse  slurs  upon  me  than 
you  would  if  I  were  your  worst  enemy.' 

"  '  I  do  not  wish  to  be  ungrateful,'  I  an 
swered  coolly,  '  but  you  must  admit  that  it 
is  difficult  for  a  purely  mortal  being  like  myself 
to  receive  a  supernatural  being  like  yourself 
with  any  degree  of  cordiality.' 

" '  Granted,'  returned  the  spectre  with  a 
grin,  which  was  more  terrifying  to  me  than 
anything  I  had  yet  seen,  '  but  when  I  tell  you 
that  I  have  come  to  befriend  you — ' 

"'I  don't  call  it  friendly  to  scare  a  man 
to  death ;  I  don't  call  it  friendly  to  steal 
invisibly  into  a  man's  office  and  choke  him 
nearly  to  suffocation.  It  seems  to  me  you 
might  use  some  other  style  of  cologne  to 
advantage  when  you  go  calling  on  your  friends, 


78  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

and  if  I  had  cheeks  through  which  my  whole 
molar  system  was  visible  to  the  outside  world, 
I'd  grow  whiskers.' 5: 

"  My  admiration  for  you  has  increased 
eighty-seven  per  cent.,"  put  in  Toppleton, 
"  that  is,  it  has  if  all  you  say  you  said  to  the 
spook  is  true." 

"  I'd  swear  to  it,"  returned  the  spirit,  the 
tone  of  his  voice  showing  the  gratification  he 
felt  at  Toppleton's  words.  "  I  talked  up  to 
him  all  the  time,  though  I  was  quaking  in 
wardly  from  the  start.  He  noticed  it  too,  for  he 
said  practically  what  you  have  just  remarked. 

" '  You  command  my  highest  admiration,' 
were  his  words.  '  If  you  were  as  spunky  as 
this  all  the  time,  you  would  not  need  my 
assistance,  but  you  are  not,  and  so  I  have  come. 
You  must  not  compromise  that  case.' 

"  Here  the  deadly  green  thing  rose  from  the 
chair  and  approached  me,"  continued  the 
spirit,  "and  as  he  approached  my  terror 
increased,  so  it  is  no  wonder  that,  when  he 
got  so  near  that  I  could  feel  his  wretched  soul- 
chilling  breath  upon  my  cheek,  his  luminous 
body  towering  above  me  as  a  giant  towers  over 
a  dwarf,  and  repeated  the  words,  ' you  must  not 
compromise  that  case,'  I  should  shrink  back 
into  a  heap  at  the  side  of  my  desk,  and  reply, 
'  Certainly  not. '  " 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS  A   HORRID   TALE.      79 

" '  You  have  a  splendid  fighting  chance,'  he 
added,  *  but  it  will  be  a  bitter  fight, — a  fight, 
the  winning  of  which  will  make  you  famous, 
but  which  you,  by  yourself,  with  all  the  law  in 
Christendom  on  your  side,  could  no  more  win 
than  you  could  batter  down  the  Tower  of 
London  with  balls  of  putty.' 

"  'Then,'  said  I,  '  I  must  compromise.' 

"  '  No,'  returned  my  visitor,  '  for  I  am  here 
to  win  the  case  for  you.' 

"  '  You  will  never  be  retained,'  I  retorted. 
'  You  are  a  degree  too  foggy  to  be  acceptable 
either  to  my  client  or  to  myself.' 

"  '  I  do  not  ask  to  be  retained  ;  but  you  must 
provide  me  with  the  means  to  appear  in  court. 
You  must  leave  your  body  and  let  me  put  it  on.'  " 

"  That  must  have  been  a  staggerer,"  said 
Hopkins.  "  Were  you  fool  enough  to  give  it 
to  him  without  getting  a  receipt  ?  " 

"  I  was  not  fool  enough  to  yield  without  per 
suasion,"  rejoined  the  spirit  sadly,  "  but  when 
he  brought  all  the  infernal  power  at  his  com 
mand  into  play  to  lure  me  on,  I  weakened,  and 
when  I  weaken  I  am  done  for.  Toppleton, 
that  messenger  of  Satan  promised  me  every 
thing  that  was  dear  to  my  soul.  The  tempta 
tion  of  Faust  was  nowhere  alongside  of  that 
which  was  placed  before  me  as  mine  if  I  but 
chose  to  take  it,  and  no  price  was  asked  save 


8o  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

that  one  little  privilege  of  being  permitted  to  do 
the  things  which  should  make  me  rich,  powerful 
and  happy  in  the  guise  which  I  was  to  put  off 
that  the  apparition  might  put  it  on.  From  my 
boyhood  days  I  had  wished  to  be  rich  and 
powerful,  and  from  the  hour  in  which  I  reached 
man's  estate  had  I  been  in  love,  but  hopelessly, 
since  she  I  loved  was  ambitious,  and  would  not 
consent  to  be  mine  until  I  had  made  my  mark. 

"'Alone,'  said  my  visitor,  'you  will  never 
make  your  name  illustrious.  With  my  help 
you  may — and  consider  what  it  means.  Refuse 
my  offer,  and  you  will  lead  the  dull,  monotonous 
life  of  him  who  knows  no  success,  to  whose 
ears  the  plaudits  of  the  world  shall  never  come  ; 
you  will  live  alone  and  uncared  for,  for  she 
whom  you  love  cannot  become  the  wife  of  a 
failure.  Accept  my  offer,  and  in  a  month  you 
are  famous,  in  a  year  you  are  rich,  in  an  in 
stant  you  are  happy,  for  the  heart  you  yearn 
toward  will  beat  responsive  to  your  own.' 

"  '  But  your  motive  ! '  I  cried.  '  Why  should 
you  do  all  this  for  me  who  know  you  not,  and 
without  a  price  ?  ' 

"  '  My  reason,'  returned  that  perjured  instru 
ment  of  malign  fate,  '  is  my  weakness.  I  love 
the  world.  I  love  the  sensation  of  living.  I 
love  to  hear  the  praises  of  man  ringing  in  my 
ears.  I  am  a  lover  of  earth  and  earthly  ways, 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS   A    HORRID   TALE.      8l 

with  no  hope  of  tasting  the  joys  of  earth  save 
in  your  acquiescence.  I  am  the  soul  of  one 
departed.  I  have  put  off  against  my  will  the 
mortal  habitation  in  which  I  dwelt  for  many 
happy  years.  I  have  solved  the  rebus  of  existence 
and  have  put  on  omniscience.  All  things  I  can 
accomplish  once  I  have  the  means.  I  ask  you 
for  them,  with  little  hope  that  you  will  grant 
my  request,  however,  because  you  are  the  em 
bodiment  of  all  that  is  uncertain.  Had  you 
lived  among  the  Olympian  gods,  they  would 
have  made  you  the  Deity  of  Indecision  ;  but 
before  refusing  my  offer  remember  this,  you 
have  now  the  grand  opportunity  of  life,  such  an 
opportunity  as  has  never  been  offered  to  any 
mortal  being  since  the  time  of  Shakespeare — ' 

"  '  Did  Shakespeare  have  this  opportunity? ' 
I  asked  eagerly. 

"  '  My  son,'  returned  the  apparition,  with  a 
meaning  look,  *  do  not  seek  to  know  too  much 
about  the  mystery  of  William  Shakespeare. 
You  know  whence  he  sprang,  how  he  lived  and 
what  he  achieved  ;  let  my  unguarded  words  of 
a  moment  since  be  the  seed  of  suggestion  which 
planted  in  the  soil  of  your  brain  may  sprout 
and  blossom  forth  into  the  flowers  of  certain 
knowledge.  It  is  not  for  me  to  let  a  mortal 
like  you  into  the  confidence  of  the  Fates  ;  suf 
fice  it  that  /  offer  you  immortality  and  present 

G 


82  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

happiness.  Think  it  over:  I  will  return  to 
morrow.' 

"  Before  I  could  reply,"  continued  the  spirit, 
"  he  had  vanished.  The  light  of  my  lamp  re 
turned  of  its  own  volition,  and  but  for  the  odour 
of  sulphur  which  still  clung  to  the  hangings  of 
the  room  I  should  have  supposed  that  I  had 
been  dreaming. 

"  Utterly  wearied  by  the  excitement  of  my 
strange  experience,  I  threw  myself  down  upon 
my  couch,  and  fell  into  a  deep  sleep  from  which 
I  did  not  awake  for  sixteen  hours,  in  conse 
quence  of  which  a  whole  day  was  practically 
gone  out  of  my  life. 

"  Darkness  was  closing  in  upon  me  as  I 
opened  my  eyes,  and  as  it  grew  more  dense  I 
could  see  taking  shape  in  the  chair  by  my  table 
my  visitor  of  the  night  before,  more  pallid  and 
sulphurous  than  ever. 

"  '  Well  ?  '  he  said,  as  I  opened  my  eyes. 

"  '  No  ! '  I  answered  shortly,  '  I  am  not  well. 
I  might  be  much  better  if  you'd  confine  your 
self  to  the  cemetery  to  which  you  belong.' 

"  '  Reparteedious  as  ever  !  '  he  retorted. 

"  '  I  don't  know  the  word,'  I  replied  ;  '  it  be 
longs  to  neither  a  dead  nor  a  live  language.' 

"  '  But  it's  a  good  word,  nevertheless,'  ob 
served  the  ghost  quietly,  '  and  I  advise  you  to 
think  of  it  whenever  you  are  inclined  to  indulge 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS   A   HORRID   TALE.      83 

in  stupid  repartee.  It  may  help  you  in  your 
career, — but  I  have  come  for  an  answer  to  my 
proposition.' " 

"  He  was  right  about  reparteedious,"  said 
Hopkins,  interrupting  the  spirit's  story ;  "  that's 
a  good  word,  and  unless  you  have  it  copyrighted 
I  think  I'll  open  the  doors  of  my  vocabulary 
and  admit  it  to  the  charmed  circle  of  my 
verbiage." 

"  No,  I  have  no  copyright  on  it,"  replied  the 
spirit,  gazing  at  Hopkins  with  as  sad  an  ex 
pression  as  could  possibly  be  assumed,  con 
sidering  the  imperturbability  of  Aunt  Sallie's 
countenance.  "  You  may  hav6  it  for  your 
vocabulary,  Hopkins,  but  if  you  will  take  a  little 
well-meant  advice  you  had  better  be  very 
careful  about  your  word  collection.  Your 
frequent  and  flippant  interruptions  of  my  sad 
story  lead  me  to  fear  that  you  are  overworking 
your  vocabulary,  which  is  a  very  dangerous 
thing  for  a  young  man  of  your  age  and  intelli 
gence  to  do. 

"  But  to  resume  my  tale,"  continued  the 
spirit,  after  waiting  a  moment  for  Hopkins  to 
reply  to  his  suggestion,  which  Hopkins  seemed 
not  to  hear,  so  busy  was  he  looking  for  his 
memorandum  book  on  his  table, — a  table  so 
littered  up  with  papers  and  silver  paraphernalia 
for  writing  that  no  portion  of  its  polished  surface 
G  2 


84  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

was  visible.  "  I  told  my  unwelcome  guest  that 
I  had  no  answer  to  give  him ;  that,  as  I  was 
not  a  believer  in  the  supernatural,  I  did  not 
intend  to  waste  my  time  in  parleying  with  a 
figment  of  my  brain. 

"  '  You  are  cautious  enough  to  have  been  a 
policeman,'  he  said  in  response  to  this.  *  But 
caution  in  this  instance  is  a  vice.' 

"  '  Caution  is  not  a  vice  when  a  spirit  of  your 
evil  aspect  enters  one's  office  in  the  dead  of 
night,  and  asks  for  the  loan  of  one's  body,'  I 
answered.  *  I  should  be  more  justified  in  lend 
ing  my  diamond-stud  to  a  sneak  thief  to  wear 
to  a  lawn-tennis  party  at  the  Duke  of  Devon 
shire's,  than  in  acquiescing  in  your  scheme.' 

"  *  Then  you  do  not  care  to  become  a  great 
man,  to  assure  yourself  of  a  fortune  beyond 
your  wildest  dreams,  to  put  yourself  in  such  a 
position  that  she  whom  you  love  will  be  unable 
to  resist  your  proposal  of  marriage  ?  ' 

" '  I  am  not  untruthful  enough  to  make 
any  such  pretence  as  that,'  I  answered.  '  I 
do  want  to  be  everything  you  say,  to  have 
everything  that  you  promise,  but  if  I  know  the 
young  woman  upon  whom  my  affections  are 
lavishing  themselves,  she  would  object  strenu 
ously  to  my  making  a  bargain  with  a  trans 
parent  offshoot  of  the  infernal  regions  like  your 
self.  How  do  I  know  that,  after  I  am  married 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS   A   HORRID   TALE.      85 

and  have  settled  down  to  a  life  of  honourable 
ease,  you  will  not  come  along  and  insist  upon 
an  invitation  to  dinner ;  or  obtrude  yourself 
into  the  home  circle  at  times  when  it  will  be 
extremely  inconvenient  to  receive  you  ?  What 
guarantee  have  I  that,  when  I  have  suddenly 
developed  from  my  present  obscurity  into 
the  promised  distinction,  you  will  not  appear 
to  some  of  my  rivals  and  let  them  into  the 
secret  of  my  success ;  and,  more  important 
still,  how  do  I  know  that  after  Miss  Hicks- 
worthy-Johnstone  has  become  my  wife  you 
will  not  go  to  her  and  destroy  my  happiness 
by  revealing  to  her  the  true  state  of  affairs  ?  ' 

" '  I  can  only  give  you  my  word  that  I  will 
be  faithful,'  returned  my  visitor. 

"  '  Well,  if  your  word  is  no  better  than 
reparteedious,  it  is  not  the  kind  of  word  upon 
which  I  should  place  any  reliance  whatsoever,' 
I  retorted  ;  *  so  you  may  as  well  take  yourself 
off;  I  am  not  lending  myself  these  days.' 5: 

"  That  was  very  well  said,"  observed  Top- 
pleton,  "  only  I  wish  you  had  had  witnesses. 
Your  sudden  development  of  back-bone  under 
the  circumstance  was  so  extraordinarily  extra 
ordinary  that  it  is  almost  beyond  credence. 
Did  the  fiend  depart  as  you  spoke  those 
words  ? " 

"No,"   returned  the  exiled  spirit,   "he  did 


86  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

not.  He  began  operations,  deceiving  me 
grossly.  He  rose  from  the  rocking-chair 
and  said  he  fancied  it  was  time  for  him  to  be 
off.  When  he  got  to  the  door  he  turned  and 
kissed  his  right  collection  of  claws  to  me, 
and  asked  if  there  was  any  place  in  the 
neighbourhood  where  he  could  get  a  drink. 
Well,  of  course,  unpleasant  as  he  was  to 
look  at,  he  had  injured  me  in  no  respect, 
and  save  for  my  instinctive  suspicions  I  had 
no  real  reason  for  believing  that  he  was 
actuated  by  any  but  the  best  of  motives. 
So  I  replied  that  the  best  place  I  knew  of 
for  him  to  get  a  drink  was  right  here  in 
this  room,  and  that  if  he  would  wait  a 
second  I  would  join  him  in  a  glass.  He 
hesitated  an  instant,  and  then  said  that  seeing 
it  was  I  who  asked  him,  he  thought  he  would  ; 
so  I  got  out  my  little  stone  jug  and  poured 
out  two  rather  stiff  doses  of  brandy.  Now 
it  had  been  my  habit  to  take  my  liquid  refresh 
ment  undiluted,  and  taking  my  glass  in  hand  I 
held  it  aloft  and  observed,  '  Here's  to  you.' 

"  My  visitor  placed  his  claws  on  my  arm. 

"  '  You  do  not  mean  to  say,'  he  said,  *  that 
you  take  this  fiery  stuff  without  water  ?  ' 

"  '  That  is  my  custom,'  I  answered.  1 1  think 
it  a  positive  wrong  to  spoil  good  brandy  with 
the  rather  inferior  brand  of  water  we  get  herein 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS  A  HORRID   TALE.      87 

London,  nor  do  I  deem  it  proper  to  take  so  pure 
a  fluid  as  water  and  destroy  its  innocence  by 
introducing  this  liquid  into  it.' 

"  '  As  you  please,'  was  my  visitor's  response. 
*  I  was  foolish  enough  to  do  that  myself  when  I 
was  fortunate  enough  to  have  a  physique.  In 
fact  it  was  just  that  thing  that  finally  laid  me 
by  the  heels.  But  let  me  have  a  little  water 
with  mine  please.' 

"  I  laid  my  glass  down  beside  his  on  the  table, 
and,  taking  the  pitcher,  left  the  room  for  an  in 
stant  to  fill  it  at  the  water-cooler." 

"That  was  a  fine  thing  to  do,"  said  Toppleton. 
"  Your  idiocy  cropped  out  then  in  great  shape. 
How  did  you  know  he  wouldn't  rob  you  ?  " 

"  I  wish  he  had  robbed  me  and  gone  about 
his  business,"  returned  the  spirit.  "  If  that 
was  all  he  did,  I'd  have  been  all  right  to  this 
day.  I  was  gone  about  two  minutes,  and  when 
I  returned  he  was  standing  by  the  window, 
whistling  the  most  obnoxious  tune  I  ever 
heard.  What  it  was  I  don't  know,  but  it  gave 
me  a  chill.  As  I  entered  the  room  he  stopped 
whistling  and  turned  to  greet  me,  took  the 
pitcher  from  my  hand,  filled  his  glass  to  the 
brim  with  water  and  quaffed  its  contents.  I 
drank  my  dose  raw.  As  the  brandy  coursed 
down  my  throat  into  my  stomach  I  fairly 
groaned  with  pain,  it  burned  me  so. 


88  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  '  What  the  devil  have  you  been  doing  with 
that  brandy  ?  '  I  cried,  turning  upon  my 
visitor. 

"  '  Swallowing  it ;  why  ?  '  he  asked  inno 
cently.  'You  meant  that  I  should  drink  it, 
didn't  you  ? ' 

"  '  You  can't  put  me  off  that  way,'  I  groaned 
in  my  agony ;  for  if  I  had  swallowed  a  hot  coal 
I  could  not  have  suffered  more,  that  infernal 
stuff  scorched  me  so.  '  You  have  drugged  my 
brandy.' 

" '  Have  I  ?  '  he  asked,  with  a  menacing 
gesture  and  a  frown  that  wrinkled  up  his 
hideous  forehead,  until  his  brains,  still  visible 
through  the  transparent  flesh  and  bone,  were 
reduced  to  a  spongy  mass  no  bigger  than  a 
walnut—" 

"  He  was  concentrating  his  mind,  I  sup 
pose  ?  "  suggested  Hopkins. 

"  It  looked  that  way,"  said  the  spirit,  "  and 
it  was  an  awful  sight. 

"  '  Have  I  ? '  he  repeated,  and  then  he  added, 
'  well,  if  I  have,  it  is  only  to  save  you  from 
yourself,  for  by  this  means  alone  can  you  ever 
fulfil  your  destiny.' 

"  As  these  words  issued  forth  from  his  white 
lips,  I  became  unconscious.  How  long  I 
remained  so,  I  do  not  know ;  but  when  I 
came  to  once  more,  I  was  as  I  am  now — a 


THE   SPIRIT   UNFOLDS  A   HORRID   TALE.      89 

spirit  having  no  visible  shape;  while  seated 
in  my  chair,  writing  with  my  pen  and  in 
perfect  imitation  of  my  chirography,  I  saw 
what  had  been  my  body  now  occupied  by 
another." 


CHAPTER  VII. 

A   CHAPTER  OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS. 

So  overcome  was  the  occupant  of  the  Aunt 
Sallie  at  this  point  of  his  story,  that  he  requested 
Hopkins'  permission  to  leave  his  quarters  that 
he  might  sit  on  the  floor  near  the  slivers  of  the 
shattered  whiskey  bottle.  He  needed  stimulant. 
Hopkins  readily  granted  the  request,  for  he  felt 
as  if  he  would  not  mind  having  a  little  stimulant 
for  himself,  but  as  the  last  drop  available  for 
his  purposes  had  been  put  to  the  use  for  which 
it  was  intended,  he  had  to  deny  himself  the 
comfort  he  would  have  derived  from  it.  The 
fact  that  this  horrid  event,  the  harrowing  details 
of  which  he  had  just  listened  to,  had  occurred 
right  there  in  his  own  apartments  served  to 
make  him  doubly  depressed,  for  it  certainly 
indicated  that  the  room,  despite  its  cheerful 
situation,  had  been  the  dwelling-place  of  a 
supernatural  being,  and  the  present  lessee  was 
fearful  lest  that  being  should  appear  on  the 


A   CHAPTER   OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS.  QI 

scene  once  more  to  practise  some  of  his  infernal 
tricks  upon  him. 

"  You  mean  to  say  that  when  you  recovered 
your  senses,  you  had  been  deprived  of  your 
body  ? "  said  Hopkins  at  last,  breaking  the 
silence  more  for  the  sake  of  calming  his 
agitated  mind  than  because  he  had  anything 
to  say. 

"  Yes,"  replied  the  spirit.  "  I  lay  there  on 
the  sofa  an  intellectual  abstract  whose  concrete 
had  been  amputated  and  invested  by  a  being 
who  had  already  lived  four-score  of  years  in 
one  body,  and  who,  having  worn  that  out,  was 
now  on  the  look-out  for  a  second.  The  sensa 
tion  was  dreadful,  and  when  I  attempted  to  do 
what  theretofore  I  had  always  done  in  moments 
of  extreme  agitation — to  pull  fiercely  at  my 
moustache — I  was  simply  appalled  to  realize 
that  the  power  to  raise  my  hand  to  do  this  had 
passed,  along  with  the  moustache  itself,  into 
the  control  of  that  other  being.  Then  an 
access  of  rage  surged  over  me,  and  I  attempted 
to  stamp  my  foot  and  shriek.  The  shriek  was 
a  success,  but  my  foot  like  my  arm  was  beyond 
my  control. 

"  As  the  shriek  died  away  I  observed  my 
head  slowly  turning  from  the  paper  before  it 
on  the  table,  my  right  hand  relaxed  its  grasp  on 
the  pen,  and  my  own  eyes  were  turned  upon 


Q2  TOPPLETON'S   CLIENT. 

me,  and  I  was  simply  maddened  to  see  the  left 
eye  wink  mischievously  at  me,  while  my  mouth 
broadened  into  a  smile  at  my  own  misfortunes. 

"  '  Hello,'  I  said  to  myself — that  is  you  know 
the  other  being  in  myself  said  this  to  me  outside 
of  myself.  '  You've  come  to,  at  last,  eh  ?  I 
thought  you  were  going  to  remain  in  a  comatose 
state  for  ever.' 

"  '  See  here,  my  friend,'  I  said,  trying  to  be 
calm.  '  This  is  a  very  clever  trick  you've  put 
upon  me,  but  from  my  point  of  view  it  is  most 
uncomfortable,  and  I'd  just  as  lief  have  you 
evacuate  the  premises,  and  permit  me  once  more 
to  assume  my  normal  condition.' 

"  '  Not  until  I  have  accomplished  what  I  set 
out  to  accomplish,'  was  the  answer  that  fell  from 
my  own  lips,  which  again  indulged  in  an  imper 
tinent  smile  at  my  expense.  *  You  don't  suppose 
that  I  have  put  in  three  weeks  of  time  and 
energy  to  make  you  famous  with  the  intention 
of  withdrawing  on  the  eve  of  success,  do  you  ?  ' 

"  '  I  don't  know  what  you  mean,'  I  replied, 
'  I  don't  understand  the  allusion,  nor  can  I  see 
why  you  permit  me  to  be  insulted  by  my  own 
lips.' 

"  Here,"  said  the  spirit,  "  my  face  became 
clouded  and  my  smile  vanished. 

"  '  Ungrateful  wretch  that  you  are  ! '  said  he 
who  had  rifled  me  of  myself.  'Are  you  not 


A   CHAPTER  OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS.  93 

aware  that  three  weeks  have  elapsed  since  you 
and  your  body  parted  company  ?  Are  you  not 
aware  that  in  that  time  I  have  forced  the  fight 
between  the  brothers  Baskins  to  a  point  that 
has  made  that  case  the  talk  of  London,  and 
you,  the  hero  of  the  hour  in  legal  circles  ?  Do 
you  not  understand  that  to-morrow  you  are  to 
appear  in  court  to  sum  up  for  your  side,  and 
that  the  London  Times  itself  is  to  have  five 
stenographers  in  court  to  take  down  every 
word  that  is  uttered  by  him  they  call  a  second 
Burke,  because  of  his  eloquence,  by  him  they  call 
a  second  Sheridan,  because  of  his  wit,  by  him 
they  call  the  newly  discovered  leader  of  the 
English  bar,  because  of  the  aggressive  and 
powerful  manner  in  which  this  now  celebrated 
will  case  has  been  conducted  ?  And  finally,  are 
you  not  aware  that  it  is  you  who  gain  the 
credit  due  to  me,  since  it  is  I  who  have  merged 
my  personality  into  yours,  while  you  have  only 
to  remain  quiescent  and  accord  to  me  the  undis 
turbed  occupation  of  your  physical  self  for  a 
few  days  more  ? ' 

"  I  know  none  of  these  things,'  I  answered. 
'  I  know  that  possibly  an  hour  ago  you  robbed 
me  of  my  senses  by  your  infernal  machina 
tions,  and  that  when  they  are  restored  to 
me  I  find  myself  disembodied,  nameless, 
invisible." 


94  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  '  Do  you  know  the  date  upon  which  I  visited 
you  first  ? '  asked  my  tormentor. 

"  *  Yes,  it  was  November  eighth.  You 
returned  on  the  night  of  November  ninth — that 
is  you  returned  early  this  evening.' 

"  '  Perhaps  this  will  convince  you  of  the  lapse 
of  time,  then,'  retorted  the  occupant  of  my  chair, 
tossing  me  a  copy  of  the  Times,  '  and  these  will 
prove  the  rest,'  he  added,  throwing  several 
other  newspapers  at  the  place  where  my  feet 
would  have  been  had  he  not  deprived  me  of 
them. 

"  I  looked  the  papers  over.  The  Times  was 
dated  November  twenty-ninth  and  contained, 
as  did  also  the  others,  a  long  account  of  the 
trial  of  the  case  of  Baskins  v.  Baskins,  in 
which  I  seemed  to  have  figured  prominently, 
concluding  with  a  biographical  sketch  of  myself 
coupled  with  the  announcement  that  my  former 
neighbours  at  Buxton  were  thinking  of  calling 
upon  me  to  stand  for  Parliament.  The  tenour 
of  everything  in  the  papers  was  complimentary 
in  the  highest  degree.  It  seemed  that  I  had 
fairly  routed  my  client's  adversaries  by  nothing 
else  than  the  aggressive  manner  of  my  fighting  ; 
that  the  case  was  practically  won,  though  it 
still  remained  for  me  to  sum  up  on  the  morrow, 
and  that  all  London  was  expected  to  swarm 
into  the  court  room  to  listen  to  my  marvellous 


A   CHAPTER   OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS.  95 

eloquence.  I  read  and  was  stunned.  My 
position  was  more  unhappy  than  ever,  for  here 
was  a  greatness  builded  up  for  me,  that  was 
utterly  beyond  my  ability  once  returned  to  my 
corse  of  clay  to  sustain,  and  before  me  was 
placed  the  horrible  alternative  of  perpetual 
exile  or  stultification." 

"  Lovely  prospect,"  murmured  Hopkins. 

"  As  I  read  on,"  continued  the  spirit,  "  I 
felt  the  burning  gaze  of  my  visitor  upon  me, 
though  he  could  not  see  me.  In  my  body  or 
out  of  it,  he  still  possessed  that  fearful  power 
of  mental  concentration  which  when  exerted 
upon  another  through  the  medium  of  the  eye 
was  withering  to  the  soul.  So  nervous  did  I 
become,  that  noiseless  as  a  sun-mote  I  moved 
across  to  the  other  side  of  the  room,  and  yet 
his  gaze  followed  me  as  if  instinctively  aware 
of  my  slightest  move.  For  a  time  not  a  word 
was  spoken  by  either  of  us.  I  was  so  overcome 
at  the  sudden  revelation  of  my  fame,  that  I 
knew  not  what  to  say.  The  words  of  blame 
that  entered  into  my  consciousness — for  that 
was  all  that  was  left  of  me — to  say,  I  could  not 
utter,  because  however  badly  I  had  been  treated 
by  this  fearful  creature  in  the  beginning,  it 
could  not  be  denied  that  he  had  exerted  his 
powers  entirely  for  my  benefit.  On  the  other 
hand,  I  found  it  impossible  to  thank  him  for 


96  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

what  he  had  done,  since  I  was  unable  to  dismiss 
the  sense  of  indignation  I  felt  at  the  summary 
and  tricky  manner  in  which  he  had  robbed  me 
of  my  individuality.  As  for  the  other,  he 
seemed  to  be  thinking  deeply,  which  contributed 
to  my  alarm,  for  I  knew  not  what  it  was  he 
was  revolving  in  his  mind,  and  I  feared  some 
additional  exercise  of  his  supernatural  power 
to  my  further  discomfiture.  Finally  he  spoke. 

"  '  I  am  very  deeply  disappointed  in  you,'  he 
said.  '  I  at  least  supposed  you  to  be  a  person 
of  gratitude.  I  deemed  your  nature  to  be 
sufficiently  refined  and  sensible  to  favours  to 
evince  some  little  appreciation  of  what  has  been 
done  for  you,  but  I  must  say  that  the  veriest 
clod  of  a  peasant  would  be  hardly  less  stolid 
n  the  face  of  generous  effort  in  his  behalf 
than  you  have  been  toward  me.  A  more 
unresponsive  soul  than  yours  can  hardly  have 
lived.' 

"  '  Can  you  blame  me  for  not  being  effusively 
grateful  to  you  for  having  cut  me  out  of  three 
weeks  of  existence  ? '  I  asked. 

"  '  I  can  and  I  do,'  he  replied.  '  You  have 
not  been  incommoded.  Upon  your  own  con 
fession  you  have  not  even  been  conscious 
during  the  period  that  you  lacked  anatomy. 
On  the  other  hand,  consider  what  I  have  gone 
through !  I  have  suffered  more  in  the  past 


A   CHAPTER  OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS.  97 

fortnight  than  I  did  in  my  whole  previous  life. 
In  making  the  substitution  of  my  inner  self  for 
yours  in  your  body,  I  failed  to  remember  how 
much  greater  than  the  mortal  mind  is  the 
mind  which  has  put  on  omniscience,  and  I 
have  found  the  head  in  which  your  intellect 
lived  at  ease,  so  contracted,  so  narrow  for  the 
accommodation  of  mine,  that  the  work  I  have 
undertaken  in  your  interest  has  been  one  pro 
longed  bit  of  unremitting  agony.  If  you  have 
ever  tried  to  wear  a  shoe  fifteen  sizes  too  small 
for  you,  you  will  have  a  faint  glimmering  of  the 
pain  I  have  suffered  in  trying  to  encase  a 
number  thirty  mind  in  a  seven  and  a  quarter 
head.  It  has  been  almost  impossible  for  me 
to  get  some  of  my  great  thoughts  into  this 
thick  cranium  of  yours  in  their  entirety, — in 
deed  if  thoughts  were  visible,  your  client 
might  have  seen  them  sticking  out  of  these 
ears,  or  hovering  above  this  lovely  halo  of 
auburn  hair  you  wear,  waiting  for  admission  to 
an  already  overcrowded  skull.' 

"  As  he  spoke  these  words,"  said  the  spirit, 
with  a  chuckle,  "  I  would  have  given  ten 
pounds  to  have  had  something  to  smile  with. 
I  never  thought  one  could  miss  his  lips  so 
much  as  when  I  tried  to  grin  and  found  I  had 
not  the  wherewithal.  Despite  the  insulting 
comment  of  my  visitor  upon  the  quality  of  my 

H 


•  i.';  i  OPPLE  ION':;  ci  IEN1 

<.\\ ii  mmd,  ii  really  hlled  \\ii.ii  then-  was  ii-ii 

ol  me  \\illi  pleasure  1"  IH-.M  th.»t,  even  though  I 
had  depailed  lioin  il,  my  l)ody  through  its 
limitationi  had  l>een  mMe  to  resent  tin-  intru 
sion  ol  tlii'.  ;dicn  sph  il  BO  ellertiially. 

"' In  addition  to  the  bad  lit  incnt-dly,1  con 
tinued  tin-  ii-  urper  of  my  anatomy,  '  i  bave  had 
to  cope  with  \oin  dyspepsia^  which  I  did  not 

know  you    i>:«d,    -,md   various    otlu-r  |.ii\-:"u-.d 

trOUblei  •  ni-h  aS  ilicuin.itr.in  and  toothaclic. 
It  a|)j)eai  ,  to  nn-  that  e\eii  il  1  had  not  made 
\-nn  lainoiis,  the  mere  larl  that  I  ha\e  lelieyrd 
\,MI  cl  \<MII  toothat  he  and  i  hcuniat  ism  lor 
thiee  weeks  should  entitle  me  to  your  !;rati- 
tudc.  However,  I  :nn  uillin;;  to  \\ithdraw  in 
your  laxour  immediately  il  \oii  insist.  Ol 
COUne  \<>ii  \\ill  li.»\»'  to  sum  up  that  rase  to- 

morrow,  mid  i  sincerely  hope  that  you  \\iil  dt»  it 

in  a  manner  eu'dital.le  to  \<>ur  new  sell,  that  is 
to  yourself  as  1  ha\e  made  you.' 

"  Of  OOUrM  \«>u  See,  I  lopkins,"  said  the  ;;j)iiit, 
paus/m;;  in  his  stoi\  for  .1  moment,  "  \\hal  :i 
dreadful  p.)sition  that  left  me  in.  1  \\as 
absolutely  in  the  dark  as  to  \\hat  liad  lu-cn 
done  in  the  rase.  1  did  not  knou  \\hat  line  of 
mneiit  had  Ix-cn  pursued  I  w:is  e\cn  un- 
;u-e|ii;iinti'd  \\ith  the  n.unc  of  llu-  presiilinv 
justice  at  tlu-  trial,  and  as  t.u  the  testimony 
,  lulled  dm  in:;  the  three  \\eeks  of  my 


A    CHAPTER   OF    PROFIT   AND    LOSS.  9Q 

personal  desuetude,  I  had  not  read  one  word  of 
it.  To  attempt  to  sum  up  the  case  under  the 
circumstances  meant  ruin — it  meant  the  final 
sacrifice  of  all  my  hopes ;  disgrace  was 
imminent. 

" '  I  cannot  sum  up  the  case/  I  answered  in 
a  moment.  *  I  have  not  mastered  the  details, 
nor  is  there  time  for  me  to  do  so  before  the 
court  opens.' 

"  '  I  am  aware  of  that  fact,'  retorted  the 
other.  '  But  that  is  nothing  to  me.  I  am  not 
at  all  interested  in  upholding  the  undeserved 
fame  of  an  ingrate.  It's  nothing  to  me  if 
disgrace  stares  you  in  the  face.  My  name  is 
safe ;  graven  upon  a  white  marble  stone  in  a 
country  cemetery,  it  is  beyond  the  reach  of 
dishonour,  and  is  endorsed  in  deep-cut  letters 
with  an  epitaph  extolling  the  virtues  of  him 
who  bore  it.  This  is  your  affair  entirely ;  I 
wash  my  hands  of  it.  Come,  prepare  for  your 
return.' 

"  Now  I  submit  to  you,  Hopkins,  that,  con 
sidering  the  situation,  I  was  justified  in 
changing  my  tone  toward  him.  Put  yourself 
in  my  place  for  a  moment,"  said  the  spirit. 

"  I'd  rather  not,"  returned  Hopkins  with  a 
shudder. 

"  Oh,  I   don't   mean   for   you   to    exchange 
places  with   me.     I  just  want  you   to   try  to 
H    2 


ioo  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

imagine  what  you  would  have  done  under  the 
circumstances.  You  would  have  besought 
him  even  as  I  did  to  crown  his  work  with  final 
success,  and  not  leave  matters  in  so  unsatisfac 
tory  a  condition ;  to  spare  you  the  dishonour 
of  a  public  failure,  wouldn't  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  either  that  or  suicide  would  have  been 
my  course,"  returned  Hopkins.  "  I  think  I'd 
have  fled  to  some  apothecary's  and  concealed 
myself  in  a  chloroform  bottle  until  my  con 
sciousness  evaporated  if  I'd  been  you.  You 
must  have  known  that  this  thing  could  not 
keep  up  for  ever,  unless  you  would  consent  to 
remain  disembodied  all  your  days." 

"  That  was  just  the  most  horrible  thing  about 
it,"  said  the  spirit.  "  When  I  realized  what  it 
all  meant,  I  was  nearly  distracted  ;  but  believing 
suicide  to  be  a  crime,  and  knowing,  as  I  have 
already  told  you,  that  the  mind  is  indestructible, 
I  could  not  do  as  you  suggested.  I  might  have 
lulled  myself  into  a  state  of  perpetual  uncon 
sciousness,  but  I  did  not  care  to  do  that,  for  the 
reason  that,  despite  the  harrowing  features  of 
my  situation,  I  was  morbidly  interested  to  see 
how  it  would  all  come  out.  At  any  rate,  I 
succumbed  to  my  fears,  and  begged  him  not  to 
think  of  departing  from  my  mortal  habitation 
and  leaving  me  in  the  lurch. 

" '  Now,'  he  replied,  his  face,  or  rather  my 


A  CHAPTER  OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS.         101 

face,  wreathing  with  snides,  cr/ow  you  $re  talk 
ing  sense.  I  thought ,  you  _w,QuJcL come,  to  it. 
It  would  be  the  height -of.  folly  for;  'you*  to  hiin 
yourself  simply  to  gratify  your  love  of  retaining 
your  form.  I  promise  you  that  to-morrow 
night,  after  the  great  speech  has  been  made  in 
court — a  speech  which  will  ring  out  through 
the  whole  country,  that  will  echo  from  the  hills 
of  Scotland  across  the  Atlantic  Ocean  to  the 
Rocky  Mountains,  to  re-echo  thence  to  the 
Himalayas,  and  so  on  until  your  fame  has  en 
circled  the  earth — I  promise  you  that  then  I 
will  depart  hence  and  trouble  you  no  more, 
except  it  be  your  desire  that  I  return.'  " 

"  That  was  a  fair  proposition — he  wasn't  such 
a  mean  fiend  after  all,"  said  Hopkins. 

"  At  that  moment  I  thought  he  was  rather  a 
square  fiend,"  returned  the  spirit  sadly  ;  "  but 
he  developed  as  time  went  on." 

"  And  the  speech  next  day  ?  How  was  that  ? 
Did  he  keep  his  word  ?  "  Hopkins  asked. 

"  Indeed  he  did,"  said  the  spirit  with  enthu 
siasm,  "  and  it  was  simply  marvellous.  That 
night,  after  we  had  had  the  conversation  I  have 
just  told  you  of,  that  fellow  worked  like  a  slave 
getting  up  his  points,  consulting  the  records, 
classifying  the  testimony  and  making  notes  for 
his  great  oratorical  effort.  Hardly  a  poet  in 
the  history  of  literature  was  there  who  did  not 


102  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

contribute  'some  little  line  or  two  to  make  the 
speech'rtioYo  interesting,  of  to  emphasize  some 
point  in  a  manner  cei lain  io  appeal  to  a  polished 
mind  or  overawe  an  uncultivated  one.  Greek 
and  Latin  authors  were  levied  upon  for  tribute. 
Parallels  in  ancient  and  modern  history  utterly 
unknown  to  me  were  instituted  for  the  elucida 
tion  of  the  arguments  advanced — in  short,  a 
more  polished  bit  of  oratory  than  that  prepared 
for  my  tongue  to  utter  never  fell  from  mortal 
lips  before,  and  as  for  the  peroration — well,  it 
would  require  the  consummate  art  of  the  fiend 
himself  adequately  to  describe  it.  It  was 
simply  dazzling. 

"  '  There  is  only  one  drawback,  one  thing  I 
fear  for  to-morrow,'  said  the  fiend,  as  he 
finished  his  preparations,  '  and  that  is  that 
these  miserable  mortal  lungs  of  yours  will  not 
be  able  to  do  justice  to  that  speech,  and  some 
of  these  quotations  rasp  on  your  unpractised 
tongue,  so  that  I  fear  their  effect  may  be 
weakened.  However,  I'll  do  the  best  I  can 
with  poor  tools ;  but  one  thing  is  certain,  you 
must  make  a  sacrifice  to  me  who  have  sacrificed 
time  and  comfort  to  you.' 

"  '  What  is  that  ?  '  I  asked. 

"  *  I  cannot  properly  accent  my  words  with 
your  teeth  in  their  present  condition.  For  in 
stance  these  words  here  :  And,  gentlemen  of  the 


A  CHAPTER  OF  PROFIT  AND  LOSS.    103 

jury,  what  have  we  to  say  of  the  plaintiff  in  this 
action,  the  brother  of  the  defendant  and  the  first 
born  son  of  the  decedent  whose  desires  he  now 
seeks  to  have  over-ridden  by  the  laws  of  this  land, 
what  have  we  to  say  of  him  ?  What  palliation 
can  he  offer  for  his  unfraternal  conduct  in  thus 
dragging  his  own  brother  into  the  courts  of  this 
land  in  a  mad  effort  to  recover  the  paltry  sum 
of  thirty  thousand  pounds  ?  History  affords  no 
parallel,  gentlemen  of  the  jury,  to  this  cause  of  son 
living  arrayed  against  his  parent  gone  before,  of 
brother  fighting  brother  for  a  miserable  pittance, 
and  so  on.  Don't  you  see  that  to  be  spoken 
impressively  these  words  demand  a  certain 
venomous  hiss  ?  I  want  to  electrify  the  jury 
by  that  hiss,  but  I  can't  do  it  unless  I  have  out 
two  of  your  back  teeth  and  this  front  one.' 

"  Here  he  tapped  the  left  of  my  two  front 
teeth — pearls  they  were,  Hopkins,  pearls  beyond 
price.  Of  course  I  objected. 

"  *  I  can't  let  you  do  that/  I  said,  '  it'll  ruin 
my  personal  appearance.' 

"  '  Bah,  man  ! '  he  said.  '  What  is  personal 
appearance  to  pre-eminent  success  ?  What  are 
looks  compared  to  immortality  ?  I  must  again 
take  advantage  of  your  helplessness  and  rescue 
you  from  the  effects  of  your  own  indecision.  I 
have  arranged  to  have  a  dentist  here  to-morrow 
morning  at  eight.  In  five  minutes  he  will  have 


104  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

the  teeth  out,  and  by  noon  your  seething  voice 
will  have  turned  twelve  good  men  and  true 
into  a  mass  of  goose  flesh  that  will  be  utterly 
unable  to  resist  you.' ' 

Hopkins  was  heartless   enough  to  laugh  at 
this  unexpected  development. 

"  I  wish  I  could  appreciate  the  joke,  Hop 
kins,"  said  the  spirit  indignantly.  "  What  is 
fun  for  you  was  tragedy  for  me.  I  had  always 
prided  myself  on  the  vigour  of  my  voice.  There 
was  nothing  weak  or  affected  about  it,  nor 
would  I,  had  I  been  in  control  of  my  being, 
have  permitted  such  vandalism  as  was  per 
petrated  by  that  dentist  the  next  morning,  just 
for  the  sake  of  making  a  coup  with  the  jury.  I 
can't  deny,  however,  that  when  the  speech  was 
delivered  the  general  effect  was  heightened  by 
the  sibilant  tone  in  which  the  words  were 
spoken.  To  me  the  dreadful  spirit  within  my 
body  was  apparent  from  introduction  to  pero 
ration.  The  deadly  greenness  of  the  fiend 
shone  out  through  every  vein  in  my  body.  My 
eyes,  once  a  beautiful  blue,  became  like  the 
eyes  of  an  adder,  and  my  cheeks  took  on  a 
pallor  that  was  horrible  to  look  upon,  and  yet 
which  so  fascinated  all  beholders  that  they 
could  not  take  their  eyes  away  from  it.  The 
jurors  sat  petrified,  terror  depicted  on  every 
line  of  their  faces  ;  the  judge  himself,  a  florid, 


A   CHAPTER  OF   PROFIT  AND   LOSS.          105 

phlegmatic  person  ordinarily,  was  pale  as  a 
sheet  and  uneasy  as  an  exposed  nerve,  and  when 
my  poor  innocent  finger,  once  so  prettily  pink 
of  hue,  was  pointed,  absolutely  livid  with  the 
scorn  that  that  creature  alone  could  throw  into 
it,  at  the  terror-stricken  plaintiff,  he  actually 
fell  backward  into  convulsions,  and  was  carried 
shrieking  profanely  from  the  court-room. 

"  As  for  me,  I  sat  cowering  directly  behind 
the  jury-box  fearful  for  the  future,  fearful  for 
the  effect  upon  my  poor  body  of  the  terrible 
strain  that  was  put  upon  it,  and  wondering  what 
I  could  possibly  do  upon  resuming  my  normal 
condition  to  maintain  the  reputation  which 
that  morning's  achievement  had  brought  to 
me.  So  absorbed  was  I  in  these  reflections 
that  the  judge's  faltering  charge  at  the  con 
clusion  of  the  proceedings  fell  upon  my  con 
sciousness  unheard,  save  as  the  monotonous 
roar  of  the  vehicles  in  the  street  outside  was 
heard  ;  but  the  verdict  of  the  jury,  rendered 
without  leaving  the  box,  in  favour  of  my  client 
did  reach  my  ears,  and  almost  simultaneously 
came  the  announcement  that  there  would  be  no 
appeal,  since  the  plaintiff  in  the  cause  had  been 
frightened  into  imbecility  by  the  fearful  indict 
ment  of  his  character  in  the  summing-up  of  the 
counsel  for  the  defendant," 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

FURTHER  DEVELOPMENTS  IN  THE  MAKING  OF 
A  NAME. 

"  You  must  have  felt  like  a  vest-pocket  Byron, 
to  wake  up  and  find  yourself  famous  that  way," 
said  Toppleton  ;  "or,  perhaps  you  found  your 
self  /^famous,  eh  ?  I  don't  know  how  it  is  here 
in  England,  but  in  America  a  lawyer  who'd 
browbeat  a  poor  innocent  litigant  into  a  state 
bordering  upon  lunacy,  would  be  requested  to 
move  out  of  town." 

"  It  all  depends,"  returned  the  spirit.  "  If 
my  substituted  self  had  limited  his  brow-beating 
to  the  plaintiff,  it  might  have  made  the  reputa 
tion  which  I  found  awaiting  me  upon  my  return 
to  my  remains,  one  of  infamy,  but  that  was  by 
no  means  the  case.  The  judge  himself  suc 
cumbed  to  nervous  prostration  a  week  later, 
the  jurors  vanished  like  a  pack  of  frightened 
hares  immediately  they  were  discharged,  and 
even  my  client  shook  like  a  leaf  when  he  felt  my 
eyes  resting  upon  him.  As  for  my  own  proper 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  107 

self,  I  was  the  worst  scared  man  of  the  lot ;  so, 
you  see,  it  was  a  sort  of  universal  awe  that  was 
inspired  by  the  demeanour  of  my  body  that  day, 
and  one  which  commanded  rather  than  invited 
respect." 

"  Did  you  find  your  head  a  little  stretched 
when  you  got  back  into  yourself  again,  or  did 
he  break  his  word  and  refuse  to  let  you  back  ?  " 
queried  Toppleton. 

"  Oh,  he  kept  his  word  that  time,"  replied 
the  spirit.  "  After  the  trial  was  over  he  took  a 
cab  and  drove  rapidly  out  to  Regent's  Park  and 
back,  returning  to  my  chambers  about  six 
o'clock.  I  was  there  waiting  for  him,  ready  to 
enter  upon  my  usual  anatomical  ways  once 
more.  My  client  was  also  there,  though,  of 
course,  unaware  that  I  was  present  in  spirit. 
I  was  very  much  amused  to  see  how  utterly 
unnerved  poor  Baskins  was  by  the  strange 
events  of  the  day.  Several  times  he  muttered 
to  himself  remarks  like,  '  /  didn't  know  he  had 
it  in  himl  and  *  If  Fd  thought  he  was  that  kind 
of  a  man  Pd  have  kept  blessed  clear  of  him.  I 
wonder  what  he' II  charge!  And  then  every  time 
there  was  a  step  or  noise  of  any  kind  out  in  the 
corridor,  he  would  straighten  up  nervously  and 
stare  at  the  door  in  a  tense  sort  of  fashion 
which  showed  that  he  dreaded  meeting  me. 
Once  he  put  his  hand  in  his  pocket  and  pulled 


loS  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

out  a  big  duelling  pistol  which  I  was  alarmed 
to  note  was  loaded  to  the  muzzle.  It  was 
evident  that  the  awe  which  my  new  self  had 
inspired  in  him  amounted  to  positive  fear. 

"  That  duelling  pistol  put  an  end  to  my  enjoy 
ment  of  the  situation,"  continued  the  spirit. 
"  I  was  afraid  he  might  be  goaded  into  dis 
charging  a  load  of  cold  lead  into  my  body.  Of 
course,  I  didn't  care  to  have  that  happen,  and 
under  the  agitation  of  the  moment  I  uttered  an 
ejaculation  of  consternation.  I  never  saw  in  all 
my  experience  a  man  so  thoroughly  frightened 
as  Baskins  was  when  the  sound  for  which  he 
could  not  account  greeted  his  ear.  He  went  on 
his  knees  and  shook  like  a  leaf,  clasping  his 
hands,  as  if  in  prayer,  before  his  face,  which 
turned  a  blue  white.  The  pistol  fell  from  his 
hands  to  the  floor,  and,  as  it  did  so,  the  door 
opened,  and  I  saw  myself  standing  on  the  sill, 
haggard  of  face,  but  not  worn  of  spirit,  for  the 
supernatural  brilliance  of  my  eye  as  it  caught 
sight  of  the  pistol  and  realized  at  a  flash  just 
what  the  situation  was,  showed  that  the  soul 
within  was  still  unwearied  by  its  effort. 

"  Then,"  added  the  spirit,  his  voice  husky 
with  the  remembrance  of  his  dishonour, 
"  came  an  interview  that  makes  me  blush, 
even  though  I  have  no  cheek  on  which  to 
display  that  manifestation  of  shame.  My 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  IOQ 

body  sprang  forward  as  the  pistol  met  my  eye, 
and,  snatching  the  weapon  from  the  floor,  flung 
it  out  through  the  window  into  the  court,  where 
it  exploded,  the  jar  of  contact  with  the  stone 
walk  being  sufficient  to  discharge  it.  As  the 
sharp  report  of  the  pistol  echoed  through  the 
court  my  client  threw  himself  flat  on  his  face, 
and  prostrate  there  at  my  feet  began  to  utter  a 
string  of  incoherent  lamentations  and  despair 
ing  requests  for  mercy  at  my  hands  which 
were  painful  to  hear,  and  I  judged  from  what 
meaning  I  could  patch  together  from  his 
jumble  of  words,  that  he  deemed  me  an  emis 
sary  of  Satan, — and  I  think  he  was  right. 

"  '  What  does  this  mean  ?  '  queried  the 
fiend  within  me.  '  Murder  or  suicide  ?  If 
you  contemplated  suicide,  I  forgive  you  ;  if 
murder — ' 

"  '  I  was  afraid,'  gasped  my  unhappy  client. 
'  Your  power  was  so  terrible  ;  the  effect  of 
your  words  so  awful,  that  I — ' 

"  '  Ah  !  '  interrupted  the  fiend.  '  I  see.  It 
was  murder  you  were  prepared  to  do  in  case 
we  should  not  agree,  and  the  power  of  my  eye 
should  chance  to  be  exerted  to  win  you  from 
your  determination  whatever  it  may  have  been.' 

"  '  No— not  that— not  that ! '  shrieked  my 
client.  '  It  was  but  the  natural  instinct  of  self- 
nreservation  that  led  me  to — ' 


IIO  TOPPLETON  S    CLIENT. 

"  '  You  weaken  your  cause  by  your  loquacity, 
my  friend,'  said  the  fiend.  '  You  suspected 
me  of  contemplating  some  dishonourable  or 
cowardly  act,  and  for  that  reason  you  entered 
the  office  of  him  who  has  saved  your  good 
name  and  your  purse  alike  from  them  who 
would  have  robbed  you  of  both,  having  so  little 
sense  of  gratitude  that  you  bring  with  you  an  in 
strument  of  death.  Very  well,  let  it  be  so.  I 
am  satisfied  if  you  are.  I  might  do  that  to 
you  now  which  would  place  you  in  far  worse 
estate  than  your  poor  brother  is  in.  If  you  had 
your  pistol  in.  your  hand,  aimed  at  my  heart, 
you  would  still  be  powerless  to  do  me  an  injury, 
for  with  one  glance  of  my  eye  I  could  force 
you  to  turn  the  muzzle  to  your  own  head,  and 
with  another  compel  you  to  empty  its  leaden 
load  into  your  own  brains.  Your  suspicions 
are  insulting,  but  an  insult  from  one  of  your 
calibre  to  one  of  mine  is  as  the  sting  of  a  fly  to 
the  elephant ;  I  pass  it  over  and  charge  it  on 
the  bill.  Ten  thousand  pounds  for  trying  the 
case,  two  thousand  five  hundred  for  accepting 
your  insult,  two  thousand  five  hundred  for 
condoning  it,  and  in  one  hour  must  this 
money  be  in  my  hands  with  a  letter — a  letter 
written  and  signed  by  you,  expressing  your 
satisfaction  with  the  manner  of  my  con 
ducting  the  case,  and  concluding  with  an 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  Ill 

allusion  to  your  surprise  that  my  charge  is 
so  moderate." 

"  '  And  if  I  refuse  to  submit  to  this  outrage  ?  ' 
queried  my  client,  lashed  into  a  show  of 
courage  which  he  really  did  not  feel. 

"  *  You  leave  this  room  a  raving  maniac,  for  I 
have  the  power  to  make  you  so,'  I  was  appalled 
to  hear  myself  reply." 

"  And  do  you  mean  to  tell  me,"  said 
Hopkins,  his  bosom  heaving  with  indignation, 
"  that  you  sat  there  like  a  zero  on  a  pedestal, 
and  kept  silent  with  this  blackmailing  infamy 
going  on  under  your  very  eyes  ?  " 

"  I  was  speechless  with  rage,"  returned  the 
spirit,  "or  I  should  have  interfered.  Before  I 
could  recover  my  composure  the  letter  had 
been  written  and  the  money  paid,  for  my  client 
still  had  the  sixty  thousand  pounds  in  their 
original  form,  in  the  one  thousand  pound  bank 
notes.  The  struggle  he  went  through  was 
terrible  to  witness,  and  as  the  notes  passed 
from  his  hands  into  mine  he  sighed  like  one 
who  was  heart-broken.  The  fiend  dictated 
the  letter  commending  my  efforts,  and  express 
ing  surprise  that  the  amount  asked  for  my 
services  was  so  moderate,  and  then  he  opened 
the  door  and  ushered  the  unfortunate  victim 
out.  As  the  latter  left  the  room  the  fiend 
whispered  to  him  in  withering  tones  to  beware 


H2  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

of  his  vengeance  if  he  ever  attempted  to  reveal 
what  had  passed  since  he  entered  the  room. 

"'  For,'  said  he,  *  if  you  are  not  careful,  it 
matters  not  in  what  part  of  this  or  any  other 
world  you  may  be,  you  must  forever  be  within 
my  reach,  and  forever  subject  to  the  conse 
quences  of  my  resentment.' 

"  Then,"  said  the  spirit,  "  he  slammed  the 
door  violently  and  turned  and  fixed  my  eyes 
upon  the  corner  wherein  I  sat  aghast  with  the 
mortification  of  having  my  name  identified  in 
any  man's  mind  with  such  a  diabolical  act  as 
that  I  had  just  witnessed. 

"  Now/  he  said,  *  you  may  have  this  carcass 
of  yours  back  and  welcome.  It's  lucky  for  you 
I  have  the  power  I  have.  If  I  hadn't,  your  body 
would  be  riddled  with  bullets  within  twenty- 
four  hours.' 

"  '  Bah  ! '  I  replied.  '  That  man  had  no  more 
intention  of  using  that  pistol  without  provoca 
tion  than  I  have,  and  considering  the  terror 
with  which  you  have  managed  to  inspire  every 
one  with  whom  you  have  come  in  contact  to 
day,  I  don't  wonder  he  came  armed.* 

"  *  I  never  thought  of  that,'  said  my  substi 
tute,  '  though  what  you  say  about  everybody's 
terror  is  true ;  you  might  apply  it  even  more 
broadly  than  you  do,  because  as  I  drove  down 
the  Strand  just  now  even  the  omnibus  horses 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  113 

shied,  and  the  driver  of  my  cab  had  all  he  could 
do  to  keep  his  ramshackle  steed  from  running 
away.  But  hurry  up  and  get  ready  to  relieve 
me  of  this  mortal  incubus  of  yours,  and  take 
your  money — it's  a  nice  little  sum,  eh  ?  ' 

"  '  Magnificent,'  I  returned.  '  And  when  you 
and  I  have  changed  places  I  am  going  to  return 
all  but  five  hundred  pounds  to  that  poor  fellow 
you  have  just  robbed  in  such  a  conscienceless 
fashion.' 

"The  moment  I  said  this,"  said  the  spirit, 
"  I  regretted  it,  for  he  grasped  the  money  with 
my  right  hand,  and  holding  it  over  the  fire, 
which  was  blazing  merrily  in  the  grate,  he  said. 
'  My  friend,  I  exact  from  you  an  oath  that  you 
will  not  return  one  penny  of  this  sum  to  Mr. 
Baskins.  If  you  refuse,  I  shall  cast  every  one  of 
these  bank  notes  into  that  fire,  nor  shall  I  admit 
you  once  more  to  your  form  until  the  very  ashes 
of  those  notes  have  disappeared  into  the  air.' 

"  Now  what  could  I  do  under  the  circum 
stances,  Toppleton  ?  "  asked  the  spirit  earnestly. 
"  Could  I  do  anything  but  swear  to  what  he 
asked  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  returned  Hopkins,  "  you  could.  I 
don't  believe  so  vile  a  creature  as  he  could  have 
distinguished  between  a  bible  and  a  city  direc 
tory.  I'd  have  taken  the  oath  on  the  city 
Directory," 

I 


ii4  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Alas  !  "  said  the  spirit  sadly,  and  with  such 
evident  sincerity  that  it  jostled  the  Aunt  Sallie 
from  the  chair  to  the  floor.  "  As  I  said  to  you 
before,  I  am  only  an  enduring  Briton  where 
you  have  the  inventive  genius  of  the  Yankee. 
I  never  thought  of  the  substitution  of  the  direc 
tory  for  the  bible,  and  the  consequent  elimina 
tion  of  moral  responsibility  from  the  oath.  I 
simply  swore  as  he  desired  me  to,  and  in  an 
hour  I  was  alone  in  my  office,  the  occupant  of 
a  frame  so  exhausted  that  I  could  scarcely  lift 
my  head,  and  in  my  pockets  were  those  miser 
able  bank  notes,  more  burning  to  my  conscience 
than  had  they  been  sovereign  for  sovereign  in 
gold  coin  hot  from  the  mint." 

"  Of  course,"  suggested  Hopkins,  "  you 
devoted  them  to  the  cause  of  charity;  sub 
scribed  all  but  your  just  due  to  the  House  for 
Imbeciles,  in  which  that  wronged  unfortunate 
the  plaintiff  was  incarcerated  ?  " 

"  I  intended  something  of  the  sort,"  returned 
the  spirit,  extricating  himself  from  the  head  of 
Aunt  Sallie,  and  ensconcing  himself  on  the 
paper-weight  on  Hopkins'  desk.  "  But  I  didn't 
have  time.  You  see,  immediately  after  the  trial 
a  perfect  avalanche  of  litigants  from  other  offices 
slid  into  mine,  and  within  a  week  I  was  so  over 
whelmed  with  business  that  I  had  to  hire  the 
rest  of  this  floor  here  to  find  room  for  my  papers. 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  115 

It  was  painful  to  me,  too,  to  observe  that  those 
who  had  heard  of  my  fame,  but  who  had  never 
seen  me,  were  manifestly  disappointed,  when 
taking  their  departure  at  the  close  of  a  first 
interview,  at  having  found  me  so  much  less 
great  than  they  had  been  led  to  believe  by  the 
public  estimate  of  my  abilities.  Nevertheless, 
cases  of  the  most  intricate  sort  were  fairly 
dumped  into  my  hands  by  the  cart-load,  and, 
worst  of  all,  I  found  that  eminence  brought 
with  it  other  responsibilities  which  I  was  ill- 
prepared  to  meet.  I  was  constantly  in  receipt 
of  requests  to  lecture  on  subjects  of  a  variety 
that  would  have  appalled  the  fiend  himself,  and 
worse  than  all  I  was  called  into  consultation  by 
the  Crown  in  certain  litigation  of  international 
importance.  For  a  time  I  tried  to  go  it  alone, 
and  by  assiduous  devotion  to  study  to  fit  my 
self  for  the  responsibilities  which  my  fame  had 
brought  me,  but  it  was  impossible.  I  broke 
down  in  less  than  a  month ;  but  having  tasted 
the  joys  of  prominence  I  was  not  strong  enough 
to  resist  the  temptation  to  prolong  it  indefinitely, 
and,  without  thinking  of  the  means,  I  commit 
ted  myself  to  certain  undertakings  which  were 
utterly  beyond  my  intellectual  strength  to 
accomplish,  and  then,  when  brought  face  to 
face  with  failure  and  disgrace,  there  was  but 
one  thing  left  for  me  to  do,  and  that  I  did. 
i  2 


n6  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  I  summoned  the  fiend.  The  mere  expres 
sion  of  a  desire  to  see  him  was  sufficient  to 
bring  him  into  my  presence,  and  time  and  time 
again  did  I  subject  my  poor  body  for  ambition's 
sake  to  the  dreadful  interchange  of  spirits. 

"  From  without  I  watched  my  development 
from  mediocrity  to  fame  with  a  joyous  interest, 
not  unmixed,  however,  with  regret,  for,  at  such 
moments  as  were  permitted  me  to  enjoy  the 
undivided  possession  of  myself,  I  could  not  but 
feel  conscious  of  a  diminution  of  physical 
strength  which  detracted  'materially  from  my 
happiness  ;  and  yet  when  day  after  day  I  saw 
my  name  in  print,  and  noted  that  I  was 
regarded  as  one  of  ,the  most  marvellous  intel 
lectual  products  of  the  day,  I  could  not  bring 
myself  to  the  point  where  I  could  renounce 
everything  I  had  gained,  and  ^withdraw  to  the 
contented  life  of  the  recluse.  Let  a  man  once 
taste  a  living  immortality,  Hopkins,  and  I  care 
not  how  strong  his  character  may  be,  he  would 
part  with  all  that  he  holds  most  dear  sooner 
than  he  would  renounce  that. 

"  And  so  it  went  on  for  a  full  year.  I 
became  the  leading  light  of  the  English  bar  ; 
I  astonished  the  world  as  a  public  orator ;  so 
potent  were  my  arguments  that  in  court  or  on 
the  hustings  none  were  able  to  resist  me.  At 
public,  dinners  I  was  the  spea.ker  who  alone 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  117 

could  hold  the  feasters  when  the  seductions  of 
the  wine  cup  awaited  the  cessation  of  my  elo 
quence.  Had  I  been  able  to  extend  the  hours 
of  my  days  from  twenty-four  to  ten  times 
twenty-four,  I  could  not  have  responded  to  all 
the  calls  that  were  made  upon  my  time.  Then 
as  if  to  show  the  world  that  one  profession  was 
too  small  to  hold  the  boundless  qualities  of 
my  genius,  I  startled  the  English  reading 
public  with  a  novel,  the  depth  and  power 
of  which  stirred  the  soul  of  the  most  blasJ  of 
novel-readers,  and  the  presses  of  my  publisher 
were  taxed  to  the  utmost  to  supply  the  demand  • 
for  my  work ;  then  came  a  volume  of  poems 
which  caused  my  name  to  be  mentioned  as  a 
possible  successor  to  the  laureateship ;  then  a 
series  of  essays  on  scientific  and  philosophical 
subjects  which  were  nearly  my  undoing,  since 
my  omniscient  self,  as  I  came  to  call  the  fiend 
who  was  responsible  for  my  greatness,  was 
absent  upon  one  occasion  when  I  was  called 
upon  unexpectedly  to  receive  a  delegation  of 
Scottish  scientists,  who  had  travelled  from 
Edinburgh  to  London  to  consult  with  me  in 
regard  to  certain  propositions  advanced  in  my 
book.  What  they  thought  of  me  Heaven  only 
knows.  You  see,  Hopkins,  as  far  as  my 
original  self  was  concerned  there  wasn't  an 
atom  of  scientific  knowledge  in  my  body,  and 


n8  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

to  tell  you  the  truth  I  hadn't  even  read  my 
book,  concerning  which  these  unwelcome  grey 
beards  had  come  from  Edinburgh  to  speak." 

"  I  should  like  to  have  been  on  hand  to  hear 
you,"  said  Hopkins  with  a  laugh.  "  You  must 
have  felt  like  Damocles  !  " 

"  I  was  worse  off  than  Damocles.  He  was 
face  to  face  with  nothing  but  death.  I  was 
having  a  tete-a-tete  with  dishonour.  Damocles 
had  a  sword  suspended  over  his  head,  held  in 
place  by  a  hair,  I  had  a  Krupp  cannon  over 
mine,  held  in  place  by  Heaven  knows  what." 

"  How  did  you  get  out  of  it  ?  "  queried 
Hopkins.  "  Summon  the  fiend  ?  " 

"What,  summon  that  deadly  green  thing 
before  those  men,  and  change  places  with  him 
in  the  presence  of  witnesses?  I  fancy  not.  I 
have  been  a  complete  hall-marked  fool  in  many 
respects,  Hopkins,  but  my  idiocy  never  went 
as  far  as  that.  The  only  thing  left  for  me  to 
do  was  to  acquiesce  in  nine  things  that  those 
fellows  said,  and  look  doubtful  at  the  tenth  and 
say  I  didn't  know  about  that ;  my  inherent 
love  of  compromise  and  my  ingenuity  in  that 
direction  stood  me  in  good  stead  upon  that 
occasion.  It  was  a  narrow  squeak,  but  I  got 
through  all  right.  The  savants  went  back  to 
Edinburgh  somewhat  disappointed,  I  presume, 
with  the  new  sun  on  the  scientific  horizon. 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  IIQ 

And  you  ought  to  have  seen  how  the  fiend 
laughed  when  I  told  him  about  it  the  next  time 
I  saw  him  !  He  fixed  it  all  right,  however,  by 
sitting  down  and  writing  a  letter  to  my  late 
visitors  and  answering  every  one  of  their  ques 
tions,  and  asking  them  a  few  additional  ones, 
to  answer  which  I  fancy  put  them  to  their 
trumps. 

"After  making  me  famous  as  scientist, 
novelist  and  lawyer,  the  fiend  induced  a 
political  bee  to  enter  my  cap,  and  one  day 
after  an  absence  of  a  week  from  my  body, 
during  which  period  of  time  I  was  utterly  in 
the  dark  as  to  its  whereabouts,  I  was  appalled 
to  see  it  reel  in  at  the  door  in  a  maudlin  state 
that  revolted  me. 

" '  Well,'  I  said  as  soon  as  I  was  able  to 
speak,  '  what  new  disgrace  is  this  you  have  put 
upon  me  ?  Am  I  to  make  my  mark  now  as  an 
inebriate,  or  is  this  simply  a  little  practical 
joke  you  are  putting  upon  my  sensibilities  ? 
If  it  is  the  latter,  it  is  a  mighty  poor  joke.' 

"  '  No,'  returned  the  fiend,  who  I  am  pleased 
to  say  showed  some  sense  of  shame  at  the 
plight  he  had  got  me  into  this  time.  *  No,  this 
is  not  a  practical  joke,  nor  do  I  wish  to  ruin 
your  reputation  for  sobriety.  I  regret  this  ap 
parent  liquidation  of  your  system  quite  as  much 
as  you  do,  not  because  I  care  what  others  say, 


120  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

though.  It  is  because  I  find  it  much  harder  to 
manage  your  body  under  these  present  circum 
stances.  When  one  leg  wants  to  go  dancing 
down  Pall  Mall,  and  the  other  evinces  a  strange 
desire  to  walk  gravely  off  in  the  direction  of 
Scotland  Yard,  it  is  a  most  difficult  thing  for  a 
mind  not  thoroughly  in  sympathy  with  either 
of  them  to  drive  them  down  the  Strand  in 
that  modest,  unassuming  fashion  which  alone 
enables  one  to  avoid  police  supervision.  I've 
had  the  devil's  own  time  with  this  weak  corse 
of  yours,  and  if  I  had  known  how  abominably 
light-headed  and  airy-legged  a  little  strong 
drink  made  you,  I  never  should  have  had  you 
stand  for  Parliament — ' 

"  '  Stand  for  Parliament  ?  '  I  cried,  aghast  at 
the  new  honour  which  was  being  thrust  upon 
me.  '  Have  I  been  standing  for  Parliament  ?  ' 

"'Well,  not  exactly'  laughed  the  fiend. 
'  You've  been  sort  of  held  up  for  Parliament ; 
you  haven't  been  able  to  stand  up  without  wob 
bling  for  five  days ;  in  fact,  not  since  you  tried 
to  do  your  duty  by  your  constituency,  and  take 
a  little  something  at  your  own  expense  with  a 
few  rounds  of  doubtful  voters.  You  were 
nearly  defeated,  my  boy,  because  of  your  dis 
gusting  inability  to  cope  with  the  flowing  bowl, 
but  I  managed  to  pull  you  through.  The 
temperance  people  voted  to  a  man  against  you, 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  121 

but  the  other  interests  stood  by  you  pretty  well, 
and  you  now  represent  your  old  neighbours 
in—' 

" '  My  old  neighbours,'  I  moaned.  '  Have  I 
been  made  to  appear  to  my  old  neighbours  in 
the  light  of  a  dissipated  politician  when  all  my 
life  long  I  had  been  known  to  them  as  a 
sober — ' 

"  '  Don't  dwell  on  that  point,  my  good  fellow,' 
interrupted  the  fiend.  '  Forget  it.  In  forget- 
fulness  of  what  you  have  been,  and  in  considera 
tion  of  what  you  have  become,  lies  happiness. 
By  the  way — have  you  a  mother  living  ?  ' 

"  '  Yes,'  I  answered,  numb  with  anxiety  for 
fear  of  what  was  coming.  '  You  haven't  dis 
graced  me  in  her  eyes,  have  you  ?  ' 

"  '  Oh,  no,'  returned  the  fiend.  '  But  a  lady 
claiming  to  be  your  mother  visited  me  during 
the  campaign,  and  was  very  indignant  because 
I  failed  to  recognize  her — that  cost  you  some 
votes,  but  not  enough  to  change  the  result. 
She  didn't  look  a  bit  like  you,  and  I  was  afraid 
the  opposition  was  putting  up  some  game  on 
us,  so  I  just  laughed  her  off.' 

"  '  You — you  laughed  her  off — you  mean  to 
tell  me,'  I  stammered,  '  that  when  my  mother 
came  to  my  political  headquarters  to  see  her 
son,  he  refused  to  recognize  her,  and  laughed 
her  off?' 


122  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

" '  Oh,  come,'  said  the  fiend  indignantly, 
'  don't  get  angry.  Remember  one  thing,  please. 
You  are  now  a  member  of  Parliament,  a  great 
Lawyer,  a  famous  Scientist,  a  Novelist  and  an 
Orator.  It  is  I  who  have  made  you  so.  If 
you  don't  like  what  I've  done,  we'll  call  the 
arrangement  off,  and  you  can  make  a  spectacle 
of  yourself  in  the  eyes  of  the  world.  I  hate  an 
ingrate.  You  couldn't  expect  me  to  know  a 
lady  whom  I  never  even  saw  before,  and  when 
I  have  a  big  scheme  on  foot  I  do  not  intend  to 
have  it  spoiled  for  want  of  caution.  If  I  made 
you  seem  an  undutiful  son,  I  am  sorry  for  it, 
and  will  strive  to  make  amends  next  time  I 
meet  your  mother.  I'll  write  a  formal  apology 
if  you  desire,  but  I  don't  wish  to  hear  any  more 
of  your  sentimental  nonsense.  Much  has  to 
be  sacrificed  in  achieving  greatness,  and  you 
have  got  therewith  just  about  as  little  personal 
inconvenience  as  any  man  in  history.  Stop 
your  snivelling,  or  I'll  desert  your  cause,  and 
what  that  means  even  you  can  grasp.' 

"With  these  words,"  concluded  the  spirit, 
"  he  departed,  and  left  me  to  sleep  off  the  effects 
of  a  seven  days'  campaign  in  which  my  moral 
welfare  had  been  sacrificed  to  the  thirst  of  at 
least  four  hundred  doubtful  voters.  Credited 
with  a  seat  in  Parliament,  I  found  my  name 
debited  with  the  crime  of  intemperance,  lack 


FURTHER   DEVELOPMENTS.  123 

of  self-respect,  and  a  gross  affront  to  my  own 
mother  ;  a  fine  record  for  one  week  in  which  in 
my  own  consciousness  I  was  unable  to  recollect 
doing  anything  that  could  not  have  been  done 
with  propriety  by  a  candidate  for  canoniza 
tion." 

"  Humph  !  "  ejaculated  Toppleton,  deeply 
moved  by  the  horror  of  the  weary  spirit's  story. 
"  It  strikes  me  that  canonization  in  the  form  in 
which  it  was  used  on  the  Sepoys  in  '57  would 
be  mild  punishment  for  that  Nile-green  brute 
that  got  you  into  this.  To  tell  you  the  truth, 
Sallie,  the  fearful  justice  of  your  cause  is  almost 
enough  to  make  me  withdraw  entirely.  I 
should  hate  to  be  called  upon  to  prosecute  a 
defendant  of  the  nature  of  your  verdant 
visitor." 


CHAPTER  IX. 

THE    CROWNING   ACT  OF   INFAMY. 

"  HEAR  me  to  the  end,  Hopkins,  I  beseech 
you,"  said  the  exile  earnestly.  "  Of  course 
the  fiend  strikes  you  as  a  being  to  be  avoided, 
but  I  do  not  believe  that  he  is  now  as  powerful 
and  as  terrible  as  he  was  in  the  days  gone  by. 
Long  confinement  to  a  purely  mortal  sphere 
must  necessarily  have  weakened  his  super 
natural  powers,  and  it  strikes  me  that  properly 
managed  by  a  young  and  aggressive  lawyer,  our 
case  against  him  would  be  won  in  an  instant. 
At  all  events,  do  not  compel  me  to  leave  my 
story  unfinished.  I  am  sure  that  when  you 
hear  of  the  crowning  act  of  infamy  of  which  my 
evil  genius  was  guilty,  you  will  not  hesitate  a 
moment  in  making  up  your  mind  that  duty 
summons  you  to  aid  me." 

"  Very  well,"  rejoined  Hopkins.  "  Go  on 
with  the  tale,  only  do  not  be  too  sanguine  as 
to  its  results  in  convincing  me  that  I  am  the 
man  to  extricate  you  from  this  horrid  plight." 


THE   CROWNING   ACT  OF   INFAMY.  125 

"  After  I  had  attended  one  or  two  meetings 
of  the  House  of  Commons,"  said  the  exile, 
resuming  the  thread  of  his  story,  "  I  enjoyed 
the  experience  so  much  that  I  almost  forgave 
the  fiend  for  having  so  nearly  ruined  me  with 
all  my  old  friends ;  and  having  written,  in 
accordance  with  his  promise,  a  truly  beautiful 
letter  to  my  mother,  explaining  away  the  harsh 
treatment  she  had  suffered  at  the  hands  of  her 
now  illustrious  son  on  the  ground  of  his  not 
being  quite  himself  on  that  occasion — a  state 
of  mind  due  to  too  close  attention  to  work  and 
study — I  quite  forgave  him  for  that  unpleasant 
episode  in  my  campaign.  My  mother  too  over 
looked  the  affront,  and  wrote  me  a  most  affec 
tionate  epistle,  stating  that  I  might  trample 
upon  her  most  cherished  ideals  with  her  entire 
acquiescence  if  my  taking  that  course  would 
ensure  to  her  the  receipt  of  so  loving  and 
touching  a  letter  as  the  one  I  had  sent  her. 
The  fiend  and  I  both  had  to  smile,  on  receiving 
my  mother's  note,  to  observe  that  the  dear  old 
lady  attributed  my  ability  to  express  myself  in 
such  beautiful  terms  to  the  poetic  traits  I  had 
inherited  from  her. 

"  *  She's  very  proud  of  her  dear  boy,'  sneered 
the  fiend. 

"  '  In  spite  of  his  brutality  at  the  committee- 
room,'  I  retorted ;  and  then  we  both  grinned 


126  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

for  each  truly  believed  that  he  had  got  the 
better  of  the  other." 

"  It  was  a  pretty  close  contest,"  said  Hopkins. 
"  But  on  the  whole  the  laugh  seems  to  be  on 
you." 

"  It  certainly  was  the  first  time  I  tried  to 
speak  in  Parliament,"  returned  the  spirit. 
"  Such  a  failure  was  never  seen.  I  was  to  take 
part  in  a  very  important  debate,  and  when  the 
hour  came  for  me  to  get  on  my  feet  and  talk,  I 
was  my  weak-kneed  self  and  utterly  unac 
quainted  even  with  the  side  I  was  expected  to 
take.  The  fiend  had  promised  to  do  all  the 
talking,  and  on  this  occasion  failed  to  materialize. 
I  spoke  for  ten  minutes  in  an  incoherent  fashion, 
mouthing  my  words  so  that  no  one  could  under 
stand  a  syllable  that  I  uttered.  It  was  a  fearful 
disappointment  to  my  friends  in  the  House  and 
in  the  galleries  ;  the  latter  being  packed  when  it 
was  understood  that  I  was  to  speak.  Of  course, 
when  the  fiend  appeared  later  on,  he  straight 
ened  it  all  out,  and  the  printed  speech  which 
he  dictated  and  which  I  wrote  was  really  a  fine 
effort  and  did  our  party  much  good.  But  these 
little  embarrassments  were  tragedies  to  me,  and 
at  every  new  success  I  quailed  before  the  possi 
bilities  of  disastrous  failure  at  the  next  effort. 
In  but  one  respect  was  I  entirely  free  from  the 
fiendish  influence,  and  that  was  in  the  matter 


THE   CROWNING  ACT  OF   INFAMY.  127 

of  my  love.  From  that  phase  of  my  life  the 
fiend  kept  himself  apart,  and  it  was  the  only 
joyous  oasis  to  be  found  in  the  boundless  desert 
of  my  misery.  To  the  fiend,  Sunday  was 
literally  a  day  of  rest,  for  upon  that  day  he 
never  approached  me,  and  I  devoted  it  to 
calling  upon  the  woman  I  loved. 

"  She  was  a  beautiful  woman,  the  only 
daughter  of  a  retired  city  merchant,  and  fond 
of  the  admiration  of  successful  men.  That 
she  loved  me  before  I  attained  to  eminence  in 
the  various  professions  in  which  the  fiend  had 
compelled  me  to  dabble,  I  had  much  reason  to 
believe ;  but  I  had  never  ventured  to  make 
love  to  her  in  dead  earnest,  because  I  feared 
for  the  result.  She  had  often  said  to  me  that 
while  she  should  never  marry  for  riches  and 
position,  she  did  not  intend  to  fall  in  love  with 
any  man  just  because  he  had  neither,  and  that 
no  man  need  ever  propose  marriage  to  her  who 
was  not  reasonably  sure  of  a  successful  career. 
It  was  not  selfishness  that  led  her  to  think  and 
speak  in  this  manner,  but  a  realizing  sense  of 
the  unhappy  fact  that  mediocrity  married  is 
as  hopeless  as  a  broken-winded  race-horse  in 
harness.  There  is  plenty  of  ambition  but 
no  future,  and  as  she  often  said,  '  Where 
hopelessness  comes,  happiness  dwelleth 
not !  '  " 


128  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"A  daughter  of  Solomon,  I  wot,"  interrupted 
Toppleton. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  spirit,  with  a  sigh  for  her  he 
had  lost,  "  and  rather  superior  to  the  old 
gentleman  in  a  great  many  ways.  Of  course  I 
understood,  and,  lacking  achievement  in  my 
profession,  discreetly  held  my  tongue  on  the 
subject  of  matrimony,  taking  good  care,  how 
ever,  when  I  called  never  to  let  any  other 
fellow  outstay  me,  unless  perchance  he  was 
some  poor  drivelling  idiot  from  whose  immediate 
present  the  laurel  was  further  removed  than 
from  my  own.  She  understood  me,  I  think, 
though  I  never  put  that  point  to  a  practical 
test  by  a  proposal  of  marriage.  This  was  the 
state  of  affairs  at  the  time  of  my  first  meeting 
with  the  fiend,  and  for  a  year  subsequent  to 
that  ill-starred  night  upon  which  he  first  crossed 
my  path  I  let  matters  take  their  own  course, 
waiting  a  favourable  opportunity  to  ask  the 
great  question,  upon  the  answer  to  which  hung 
all  my  future  happiness.  I  could  see  that  with 
my  increasing  fame,  her  interest  in  me  waxed  ; 
but  as  every  passing  day  brought  new  and  un 
dreamed-of  distinctions  she  grew  more  and 
more  reserved  toward  me — a  most  feminine 
trait  that,  Hopkins.  When  a  woman  begins  to 
love  a  man  in  dead  earnest,  in  nine  cases  out  of 
ten.  she  will  make  him  feel  that  be  is  utterly 


THE  CROWNING  ACT  OF   INFAMY.  I2Q 

abhorrent  to  her,  and  it's  a  good  thing  she  does, 
because  it  makes  him  look  carefully  into  his 
own  character  in  an  endeavour  to  discover  and 
to  root  out  all  the  undesirable  features  thereof. 
It  is  this  that  enables  love  to  redeem  men  whom 
the  world  considers  irredeemable,  so,  of  course, 
I  had  no  feeling  of  discouragement  at  her  grow 
ing  coldness,  for,  understanding  women,  I  knew 
exactly  what  it  meant.  I  think  I  was  more  or 
less  of  an  enigma  to  her." 

"  I  should  think  it  likely,"  said  Toppleton. 
"  If  she  really  knew  you,  she  must  have  been 
mightily  surprised  at  your  sudden  strides  to 
wards  universal  genius.  It's  a  wonder  to  me 
that  she  did  not  suspect  the  enigma,  and  give  it 
up." 

"  Yes,"  returned  the  spirit.  "  It  was  very 
embarrassing  to  me  when  she  expressed  her  sur 
prise  at  my  progress,  and  asked  me  how  I  did 
it,  and  other  questions  equally  hard  to  answer. 
And  then  her  father,  who  was  always  more  or 
less  insufferable,  now  became  absolutely  insult 
ing — that  is,  his  new  found  appreciation  of  my 
virtues  led  him  into  making  assertions  which 
galled  me,  he  little  knew  how  much — assertions 
to  the  effect  that  to  look  at  me  no  one  would 
suspect  that  I  had  more  than  ordinary  intelli 
gence  ;  that  to  hear  me  talk  one  would  never 
suppose  I  could  make  a  speech  of  any  kind, 

K 


130  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

much  less  set  the  world  on  fire  by  my 
eloquence  ;  and  finally,  that  no  man  after  this 
could  tell  him  that  it  was  possible  to  judge  of 
the  future  by  the  past,  or  the  past  by  the  pre 
sent,  for  he  had  always  thought  me  foredoomed 
to  failure,  and  I  had  achieved  success,  and, 
having  achieved  success,  gave  no  present 
evidence  that  I  deserved  it." 

"  He  had  the  making  of  the  accepted  mother- 
in-law  in  him,"  said  Hopkins.  "  What  could 
have  induced  you  to  fall  in  love  with  the 
daughter  of  a  man  like  that  ?  " 

"  She  was  a  superb  woman,  that's  what," 
rejoined  the  spirit  with  enthusiasm,  "and  when 
I  think  of  the  happiness  that  the  Nile-green 
shade  first  placed  within  my  reach  and  then 
snatched  from  me,  I  regret  that  the  soul  is  im 
mortal,  and  that  I  am  not  all-powerful,  for  it 
would  please  me  to  grind  his  soul  into  absolute 
nothingness. 

"  It  was  at  least  a  year  and  two  months 
subsequent  to  my  first  meeting  with  him,"  con 
tinued  the  spirit  as  soon  as  his  overwrought 
feelings  would  permit,  "  that  he  first  broached 
the  subject  of  matrimony.  He  had  attended  a 
grand  ball  at  the  house  of  the  Earl  of  Piccadilly 
and  was  the  lion  of  the  occasion  owing  to  his 
stand  in  certain  recent  Parliamentary  crises. 
His  readiness  in  debate  had  gained  him  a  high 


THE   CROWNING   ACT   OF   INFAMY.  131 

position,  and  his  natural  grace  of  manner — that 
is,  my  natural  grace  of  manner —had  helped  him 
to  a  hold  on  the  affections  of  those  with  whom 
he  was  associated,  for,  as  he  grew  more  accus 
tomed  to  my  figure  and  got  his  angles  comfort 
ably  rounded  off  to  fit  my  curves,  he  managed 
to  subdue  that  horrible  aspect  he  had  assumed 
with  such  fearful  effect  in  the  trial  of  Baskins  v. 
Baskins,  and  when  geniality  was  the  attribute 
most  likely  to  help  him  on  he  was  geniality 
personified.  The  ball  was  ostensibly  one  of  the 
Earl  of  Piccadilly's  usual  series  of  annual  func 
tions,  but  in  reality  it  was  given  for  the  purpose 
of  introducing  me  into  society.  From  all 
accounts,  it  was  a  grand  affair,  and  I  seemed 
to  have  made  as  fine  an  impression  as  a  social 
debutant  as  I  had  in  the  law  courts,  in  the  field 
of  literature,  and  in  the  House  of  Commons. 
If  the  fiend  spoke  truly  that  night,  when  he 
returned  and  handed  my  fatigued  body  over  to 
me  for  a  rest,  I  made  a  marked  success  ;  all  the 
ladies  were  raving  about  me ;  I  was  a  divine 
dancer,  though  before  that  night  my  feet  had 
never  tripped  to  the  strains  of  a  waltz,  polka, 
or  any  other  terpsichorean  exercise.  I  pleased 
the  dowagers  as  well  as  the  maids,  and  had,  in 
short,  become  an  eligible — that  is  I  had  become 
as  desirable  a  matrimonial  parti  as  an  untitled 
person  could  hope  to  be,  and  the  fiend  remarked 
K  2 


132  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

with  a  sly  wink  that  it  was  not  beyond  the 
range  of  possibilities  that  the  Premier  would 
bestow  upon  me  one  of  the  peerages  at  his  dis 
posal  when  the  proper  time  came. 

"  '  Bachelorhood  is  pardonable  in  a  young 
man,'  said  my  evil  genius  upon  this  occasion, 
'  but  we  must  marry  if  we  are  to  reach  the 
pinnacle  of  success.  There  is  a  solidity  about 
the  married  man's  estate  that  bachelorhood 
lacks,  and  I  rather  think  I  can  make  a  match 
that  will  push  us  ahead.' 

"  '  I  don't  think  I  need  your  assistance,'  I 
replied.  '  In  fact  I  prefer  that  some  of  the 
things  which  pertain  to  myself  shall  be  left 
entirely  in  my  own  hands.  In  matters  of  the 
affections  I  can  take  care  of  myself.' 

" '  Very  well,'  was  the  fiend's  response. 
'  Have  your  own  way  about  it,  only  take  my 
advice  and  get  married.  We  need  a  wife.' 

"  '  We  ? '  I  cried.  '  We  !  I  just  want  you 
to  understand,  my  dear  sir,  that  the  pronoun 
doesn't  fit  the  case.  /  may  need  a  wife  and  you 
may  need  a  wife,  but  if  you  think  I'm  going  into 
any  co-operative  scheme  with  you  in  that  matter 
you  are  less  omniscient  than  usual.  Remember 
that  please  and  let  us  have  nothing  more  to  say 
on  the  subject.'" 

"  That  was  a  very  proper  stand  for  you  to 
take,"  said  Hopkins,  gravely.  "  Though  I  think 


THE   CROWNING  ACT  OF   INFAMY.  133 

that,  under  the  circumstances,  you  should  have 
given  up  all  ideas  of  marriage.  No  woman 
would  have  you,  knowing  that  you  were  not 
yourself  at  times  ;  and  then  having  as  little  con 
trol  over  your  other  self  as  you  seem  to  have 
had,  you  would  often  have  found  yourself 
in  hot  water  for  flirting  with  other  women, 
when,  in  reality,  your  own  self  was  as  innocent 
as  a  mountain  daisy." 

"  I  know  I  did  wrong  in  thinking  of  marriage, 
Hopkins,"  returned  the  spirit,  "  but  if  you  had 
ever  met  the  woman  I  loved,  you  would  have 
loved  her  too — yes,  even  if  you  were  a  confirmed 
celibate.  I  don't  believe  a  Cardinal,  sir,  would 
have  hesitated  between  his  hat  and  her.  My 
sole  justification  was  her  loveliness,  and  then 
the  fiend's  ready  acquiescence  in  my  statement 
that  in  that  matter  he  must  hold  aloof  gave  me 
confidence  that  I  might  safely  take  the  step  I 
had  so  long  and  so  ardently  desired  to  take. 

"  Weeks  passed  by,  and  in  everything  save 
the  courtship  of  Miss  Hicksworthy-Johnstone 
I  gave  myself  unreservedly  over  to  the  fiend, 
who  began  suddenly  to  take  an  interest  in  my 
personal  appearance  which  he  had  never  before 
manifested.  He  laid  in  a  fine  supply  of 
clothes — dress  suits,  walking  suits,  lounging 
suits — suits  in  fact  of  every  description  and  of 
the  finest  texture.  Shirts  and  collars,  and  ties 


134  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

of  the  choicest  sort  were  imported  by  him  from 
Paris,  and  on  my  hands  I  now  observed  he  was 
beginning  to  wear  kid  gloves  of  fashionable 
type.  His  hats  and  shoes  were  distinctly  in 
the  mode,  and  his  jewelry,  as  far  as  it  went, 
was  of  unexceptionable  taste  and  quiet  ele 
gance.  In  fact,  Toppleton,  I  began  to  be 
something  of  a  dandy.  This  I  attributed  to 
the  natural  vanity  of  my  other  self.  I,  too,  was 
proud  of  that  graceful  form,  but  I  never 
thought  enough  about  it  to  go  about  arraying 
it  in  a  fashion  which  neither  Solomon  nor  the 
lily  of  the  field  could  ever  have  approached.  I 
cared  nothing  for  gloves  save  as  a  means  to  a 
warm  finger's  end,  and  it  made  no  difference  to 
me  whether  my  hat  was  of  the  style  of  '48,  or 
plucked  fresh  from  the  French  Emperor's  own 
block.  As  long  as  my  head  was  covered  I  was 
satisfied.  Patent  leather  shoes  I  could  never 
bring  myself  to  buy,  because  they  had  always 
seemed  to  me  to  go  hand  in  hand  either  with 
poverty  or  laziness.  To  a  man  who  cannot 
afford  shoe  blacking  or  who  is  too  lazy  to 
black  his  own  boots,  patent  leathers,  I  thought, 
were  a  boon ;  but  I  never  classed  myself  under 
either  head,  and  wore  the  regular  foot  gear  of 
the  plain  but  honest  son  of  toil. 

"  But  now  all  was  changed.     My  other  self 
was  vain,  and  unexpectedly  gave  himself  over 


THE   CROWNING   ACT  OF   INFAMY.  135 

to  dandyism.  At  first  he  rather  disturbed 
my  equanimity  by  wearing  somewhat  loud 
patterns,  but  he  soon  got  over  that,  and  be 
tween  us,  after  a  very  little  while,  two  or  three 
months  perhaps,  my  body  had  the  best  clothes 
there  were  to  be  had  in  all  London.  I  had  not 
realized  all  this  time  that  I  was  fast  becoming  a 
millionaire,  and  when  my  tailor's  bill  for  fifteen 
hundred  pounds  came  home  one  night  I  was  in 
a  great  stew,  but  the  fiend  came  in  and  relieved 
my  conscience  very  much  by  showing  me  my 
balance  in  the  bank.  It  amounted,  Toppleton, 
to  one  hundred  and  seventy-five  thousand 
pounds,  with  an  income  still  running  evenly 
along  from  my  law  practice  of  ten  thousand 
pounds  per  annum,  not  to  mention  the 
revenues  from  my  books,  which  in  six  months 
had  amounted  to  two  thousand  pounds.  I  was 
a  rich  man,  and  when  I  observed  that  this  was 
my  condition,  I  made  up  my  mind  to  ask  Miss 
Hicksworthy-Johnstone's  hand  in  marriage  the 
very  next  time  I  saw  her.  I  hoped  this  would 
be  soon,  but,  alas  for  human  expectations,  it 
was  not.  The  Christmas  holidays  were  about 
to  begin,  and  I  bethought  me  that  at  the 
season  of  goodwill  toward  men  I  might  ask 
the  possessor  of  my  heart  to  accept  it  as  a 
permanent  gift,  a  decision  which  I  unfortu 
nately  kept  to  myself,  for  from  one  end  of  the 


136  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

holidays  to  the  other  I  never  laid  eyes  upon  my 
mortal  habitation.  The  fiend  was  off  with  it 
for  one  whole  month,  Hopkins." 

"  Didn't  you  know  where  ? "  asked  Top- 
pleton. 

"I  did  not,"  returned  the  spirit.  "  He 
went  off  with  it  as  usual  one  night  late  in 
November  to  attend  a  meeting  of  the  leaders 
of  our  party,  telling  me  not  to  worry  if  he  did 
not  return  for  twenty-four  hours,  since  there 
was  important  business  on  hand.  What  the 
business  was  he  did  not  inform  me,  nor  did  I 
seek  to  know  it,  since  under  our  arrangement 
it  was  not  necessary  that  I  should  familiarize 
myself  with  parliamentary  matters,  which  were 
usually  as  dry  as  they  were  weighty  anyhow, 
and  hence  distasteful  to  me. 

"  Well,  I  waited  twenty-four  hours  and  no 
fiend  appeared.  Another  day  passed  with  no 
sign  of  him.  A  third  day  moved  into  the 
calendar  of  the  past ;  a  week  elapsed,  then  a 
second,  a  third,  a  fourth,  and  finally  a  month 
had  gone.  I  was  growing  sick  with  apprehen 
sion.  What  if  something  dreadful  had 
happened  and  my  lovely,  only  body  was  lying 
dead  somewhere,  too  shattered  for  the  fiend  to 
remain  longer  within  it,  and  gone  for  ever  from 
me  ?  What  if  the  present  occupant  of  my 
corse  had  again  yielded  to  the  seductive 


THE   CROWNING  ACT  OF   INFAMY.  137 

influence  of  the  cup,  and  was  off  somewhere 
upon  a  prolonged  spree  ?  I  floated  uneasily  in 
and  about  my  quarters  here,  sleepless,  worried  to 
distraction.  I  searched  my  papers,  as  best  I 
could  without  hands,  to  see  if  there  was  not 
some  clue  as  to  my  whereabouts  among  them, 
and  found  none.  I  went  through  the  contents 
of  the  waste  basket  even,  and  found  nothing  to 
relieve  my  dreadful  anxiety,  and  then  I  went 
to  the  wardrobe  to  search  the  pockets  of 
my  clothes  for  possible  evidence  to  calm  my 
agitated  soul. 

"  Toppleton,  there  was  not  one  vestige  of  a 
garment  in  that  clothes  press  from  top  to  bottom. 
Not  a  shoe,  not  a  coat,  absolutely  nothing. 
It  was  bare  even  as  Mother  Hubbard's  cup 
board  was  bare.  This  was  an  additional 
shock,  and  I  became  giddy  with  fear.  I  floated 
madly  across  to  the  bureau  and  peered  into  the 
drawers  thereof.  Beyond  the  ties  I  had 
formerly  worn  and  the  collars,  frayed  at  the 
edges,  of  my  negligee  days,  nothing  remained, 
and  then  for  the  first  time  I  noticed  that  my 
trunk  was  gone  from  the  room. 

"  *  What  can  it  mean  ?  '  I  asked  myself, 
though  I  might  as  well  haye  spared  the  ques 
tion,  for  it  was  one  I  could  not  answer.  Days 
came  and  went,  leaving  me  still  pondering. 
Christmas  Eve  came  and  found  me  here  moping 


138  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

in  a  cheerless  apartment,  friendless,  forlorn, 
clothesless  and  bodiless— a  fine  way  to  pass 
what  should  have  been  the  happiest  night  of 
the  year." 

"  Elegant !  "  said  Toppleton.  "  It  might 
have  been  worse  though.  If  you  had  had  your 
body  and  still  been  clothesless  you  would  have 
found  it  rather  cold,  I  fancy." 

"  I  had  almost  given  up  all  hope  of  ever 
seeing  myself  again,"  continued  the  exile, 
ignoring  Hopkins'  interruption,  "when  on  the 
evening  of  January  second  I  heard  a  step 
coming  along  the  hall  which  I  at  once  recog 
nized  as  my  own,  my  latch-key  was  inserted  in 
the  lock  and  the  door  was  opened,  and  at  last  I 
stood  before  myself  again,  the  picture  of  health 
and  happiness. 

"  '  Are  you  there  ?  '  my  lips  said  with  a  broad 
smile,  as  my  body  entered  the  room. 

"  '  I  am,'  I  replied  shortly  ;  '  and  I've  been 
here,  Heaven  knows  how  long,  worried  sick  to 
know  what  had  become  of  you.  I  don't  think 
you  are  the  most  considerate  fiend  in  the  world 
to  take  me  off  for  weeks  without  letting  me 
know  anything  of  my  whereabouts.' 

"  '  I  am  very  sorry,'  said  the  fiend,  throwing 
himself  down  on  the  lounge.  '  I  meant  to  have 
told  you,  but  you  were  not  here  when  I  returned. 
Lord  Smitherton  invited  me  out  to  his  house 


THE   CROWNING  ACT  OF   INFAMY.  139 

at  Snorley  Farms  for  the  Christmas  holidays 
along  with  the  Earl  of  Pupley,  General  Carling- 
berry-Jimpson,  and  a  half-dozen  members  of 
the  Birmingham  Society  of  Fine  Arts.  It  was 
an  invitation  I  could  not  well  refuse,  and, 
besides,  our  carcass  here  was  beginning  to  feel 
the  need  of  an  outing,  so  I  accepted.  I  came 
back  here  to  tell  you  about  it,  but  you  must 
have  been  floating  about  somewhere  else.  At 
all  events,  you  are  much  better  for  the  outing, 
and  your  purely  mortal  self  has  had  a  good 
time.  And,  by  the  way,  I  want  to  warn  you 
about  one  point.  When  you  are  the  occupant 
of  this  corse,  I  think  you  would  better  not  walk 
down  Rotten  Row,  or  go  anywhere  in  fact 
where  I  am  accustomed  to  going,  because  you 
don't  know  my  friends  any  more  than  I  know 
yours,  and  that  is  apt  to  lead  to  misunder 
standing.  Lady  Romaine  Gushing,  who  was 
visiting  Lady  Smitherton,  told  me  that  I  had 
cut  her  dead  in  the  Row  one  afternoon,  although 
she  had  stopped  her  carriage  particularly  to 
speak  to  me.  It  was  you  who  cut  her,  but,  of 
course,  you  were  not  to  blame,  because  you 
never  saw  Lady  Romaine  Gushing ;  but  it  is 
hard  to  explain  away  little  matters  of  that  sort, 
and  I  had  the  deuce  of  a  time  getting  her  to 
believe  that  her  eye  must  have  deceived  her. 
We  can't  afford  to  offend  our  friends  of  the  fair 


140  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

sex,  you  know ;  they  can  make  or  mar  a  man 
these  days.' 

"  l  And  I  am  to  be  kept  away  from  the  haunts 
of  polite  society/  I  said,  with  some  natural  in 
dignation,  '  just  because  it  embarrasses  you  to 
explain  why  I  don't  bow  to  people  I  don't 
know.' 

" '  But  it's  all  for  your  good,'  he  replied. 
'  You  seem  to  forget  that  I  am  actuated  en 
tirely  by  the  best  of  motives.' 

"  '  No  doubt,'  I  said,  '  but  I  think  it's  rather 
hard  on  me  to  be  excluded  from  the  most 
attractive  quarter  of  London.' 

" '  You  are  not  excluded.  You  can  walk 
there  if  you  choose  at  night  or  very  early  in  the 
morning,  or  when  Society  is  out  of  town,  or, 
better  still,  you  can  float  there  in  your  invisible 
state  at  anytime.  In  fact,'  added  the  fiend,  '  it 
would  be  very  enjoyable  for  you,  I  should  think, 
to  do  that  last.  You  can  poise  yourself  over  a 
tree  for  instance,  and  watch  yourself  hobnobbing 
with  the  illustrious.  You  can  sit  in  your  in 
visibility  in  any  one  of  the  carriages  that  roll 
to  and  fro,  and,  as  long  as  you  do  not  obtrude 
yourself  on  the  occupants,  there  is  not  an 
equipage  in  London,  high  or  low,  in  which  you 
cannot  ride.  You  are  better  off  than  I  am  in 
that  respect.  While  I  have  no  particular  shape 
I  am  visible  like  a  bit  of  sea-fog,  but  you  being 


THE    CROWNING   ACT  OF   INFAMY. 

invisible  can  go  anywhere  without  making 
trouble.  The  theatres  are  open  to  you  free  of 
charge.  The  best  seats  are  at  your  disposal. 
If  you  choose  to  do  it  you  could  even  sit  on  the 
throne  of  England,  and  nobody  would  be  the 
wiser.' 

"  '  That's  all  very  well,'  I  said ;  *  but  I  don't 
care  to  travel  about  in  that  impersonal  fashion. 
I  prefer  the  incarnate  manner  of  doing  things, 
and  if  you  will  kindly  permit  me  to  assume 
bodily  form  once  more,  I'll  be  very  much 
obliged.' 

"  '  Certainly ! '  he  replied,  and  with  that  we 
changed  places. 

"  The  sensation  of  getting  back  to  my  accus 
tomed  figure  once  more  was  delightful,  and  there 
was  no  denying  the  fact  that  I  was  better  off 
for  the  outing  I  had  so  unceremoniously  taken. 
My  step  was  elastic,  my  head  felt  clear  as  a 
bell,  and,  altogether,  I  had  never  before  enjoyed 
the  consciousness  of  so  great  a  physical  strength 
as  now  was  mine. 

"  This  feeling  gave  me  courage  to  do  many 
things  which  I  had  hitherto  put  off,  and  among 
them  was  the  making  of  a  proposal  of  marriage 
to  the  admired  Miss  Hicksworthy-Johnstone. 
It  was  seven  o'clock  when  the  fiend  had  left  me 
to  the  personal  enjoyment  of  my  complete  self, 
and  at  eight  o'clock  I  was  in  a  hansom  cab 


142  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

speeding  out  to  the  dwelling-place  of  the  woman 
I  loved.  At  eight  thirty  I  was  on  my  knees 
before  her,  and  by  eleven  o'clock  I  was  her 
accepted  suitor.  Such  happiness  as  was  mine, 
Hopkins,  no  man  ever  knew.  The  only 
trouble  known  to  my  soul  at  the  moment 
was  the  consciousness  that  Arabella,  as  I  was 
now  permitted  to  call  Miss  Hicksworthy-John- 
stone,  was  in  the  dark  as  to  the  methods  by 
which  my  greatness  had  been  achieved.  I 
could  not  confess  my  dreadful  secret  to  her,  for 
that  would  have  put  an  end  entirely  to  our  rela 
tions,  and  I  loved  her  so  that  I  could  not  bring 
myself  to  give  her  up.  She  asked  me  number 
less  questions  of  a  most  embarrassing  sort,  as 
if  she  suspected  there  was  something  wrong, 
but  I  managed  in  some  way,  I  know  not  how,  to 
give  a  plausible  answer  to  every  one  of  them." 

"  Possibly  the  fiend  left  a  little  of  his  brain 
in  your  head  when  he  got  out,"  suggested 
Toppleton. 

"  Perhaps  so,"  returned  the  exile.  "  How 
ever  it  was,  I  managed  to  make  out  a  satisfac 
tory  case  for  myself,  and  at  the  close  of  a  cross- 
examination  such  as  no  man  ever  went  through 
before,  lasting  two  and  a  half  hours,  Arabella 
threw  herself  into  my  arms  and  called  me  by 
my  first  name.  She  was  mine,  and  all  the 
world  seemed  bright. 


THE    CROWNING   ACT   OF    INFAMY.  143 

"  I  walked  home,"  continued  the  spirit, 
"  and  in  a  condition  of  ecstasy  that  almost 
compensates  for  all  I  have  suffered  since.  My 
feet  seemed  hardly  to  touch  the  ground,  and  I 
whistled  from  the  time  I  left  Arabella  until  I 
entered  my  room  here, — a  reprehensible  habit, 
perhaps,  but  one  which  had  always  been  my 
method  of  expressing  satisfaction  with  the 
world.  As  I  entered  this  room  I  was  brought 
down  from  my  ecstatic  heights  to  an  apprecia 
tion  of  my  actual  state,  for  the  first  thing  to 
greet  my  eyes  was  the  fiend,  greener  than  ever, 
sitting  by  the  fire  ruminating  apparently,  for  it 
was  at  least  five  minutes  before  he  took  note 
of  my  presence,  although  I  addressed  him 
politely  as  soon  as  I  saw  him. 

"'Hallo,'  he  said  finally.  'Where  have 
you  been  ?  ' 

"  The  question  was  as  unexpected  as  it  was 
natural,  and  I  was  unprepared  for  it,  so  I  made 
no  reply,  covering  my  silence  by  taking  off  my 
shoes  and  preparing  for  bed. 

"  '  Where  have  you  been  ? '  he  asked  again, 
this  time  in  a  tone  so  peremptory  that  I 
decided  in  an  instant  not  to  tell  him. 

"  '  Out,'  I  answered.     '  Where  have  you  ? ' 

"  At  this  he  laughed. 

"  *  Don't  be  impudent,'  he  said.  '  I  do  not 
wish  to  pry  into  your  affairs.  I  only  wanted  to 


144  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

know  where  you  had  been  because  I  am 
interested  in  you,  and  I  want  to  help  you  to 
avoid  pitfalls.' 

"  '  That's  all  right,'  I  responded  graciously. 
'  I  appreciate  your  kindness,  but  you  need  not 
be  interested  in  where  I  have  been  to-night, 
because  I  have  been  engaged  in  a  little  matter 
that  concerns  you  not  at  all.' 

"  '  Very  well,'  he  replied,  turning  once  more 
to  the  fire.  'I'll  take  your  word  for  it;  only 
you  and  I  must  be  perfectly  candid  with  each 
other,  or  complications  may  arise,  that's  all. 
By  the  way,  I'll  have  to  borrow  you  again  'to 
morrow  morning.  There  are  a  half-dozen 
members  of  Parliament  coming  here  to  discuss 
certain  matters  of  state,  and  you  would  be 
somewhat  embarrassed  if  you  undertook  to 
meet  them.' 

" '  That  suits  me,'  I  said,  happy  enough  to 
acquiesce  in  anything.  *  Only  I'll  want  to  get 
back  here  to-morrow  evening.  I  have  an 
engagement.' 

"  The  fiend  eyed  me  narrowly  for  a  moment, 
and  I  winced  beneath  his  gaze. 

"  '  All  right,'  he  said,  '  you  can  get  back,  but 
this  Parliamentary  business  is  very  important, 
and  I  must  have  the  semblance  of  a  mortal 
being  every  morning  this  week.' 

"'That   can  be  arranged,'  I   replied.     Ara- 


THE   CROWNING   ACT   OF   INFAMY.  145 

bella  could  have  my  evenings,  and  he  could 
have  my  mornings.  That  was  fair  enough,  I 
thought,  and  so  it  happened.  Every  night  for 
a  week  I  spent  in  the  company  of  my  fiancee, — 
whose  name,  by  the  way,  I  never  mentioned  in 
the  fiend's  presence — and  every  morning  for 
the  same  period  he  was  in  charge,  conducting 
negotiations  which  only  served  to  make  me 
more  famous. 

"  Finally  the  dreadful  morning  came.  It 
was  Saturday,  and  the  fiend  and  I  were  sitting 
together  in  my  quarters.  We  had  just 
changed  places.  I  was  in  my  present  disem 
bodied  state,  and  the  fiend  had  taken  possession 
for  the  day,  when  there  was  heard  in  the 
corridor  a  quick  nervous  step  which  stopped  as 
he  who  directed  it  came  to  my  door,  and  a 
voice,  which  to  my  consternation  I  recognized 
at  once  as  that  of  Arabella's  father  following 
close  upon  a  resounding  knock,  cried  out,— 

"  '  This  is  the  place.  This  is  the  kennel  in 
which  the  hound  lives.  Open  the  door ! ' 

"  There  was  not  time  for  the  fiend  and  me  to 
change  places.  Indeed,  I  had  hardly  recog 
nized  the  old  gentleman's  voice,  when  the  fiend 
in  answer  to  his  demand  opened  the  door. 

"  A  madder  man  than  my  prospective 
father-in-law  appeared  to  be  I  never  saw, 
Hopkins,"  said  the  spirit,  his  voice  trembling 

L 


146  .    TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

with  emotion.  "  He  was  livid,  and  when  the 
door  opened,  and  he  saw  the  man  he  supposed 
to  be  me  standing  before  him  showing  abso 
lutely  no  signs  of  recognition,  he  fairly  foamed 
at  the  mouth. 

"  '  How  do  you  do,  sir  ?  '  said  the  fiend,  polite 
as  Chesterfield. 

"  '  Don't  speak  to  me,  you  puppy,'  roared  the 
old  gentleman.  "  Don't  you  dare  to  address 
me  until  I  address  you.' 

"  '  This  is  most  extraordinary,'  said  the  fiend, 
seemingly  nonplussed  at  Mr.  Hicksworthy- 
Johnstone's  inexplicable  wrath ;  for  he  could 
understand  it  no  better  than  I,  and  to  me  it 
was  absolutely  incomprehensible,  for  I  was  not 
aware  of  anything  that  I  had  done  that  could 
possibly  give  rise  to  so  violent  an  ebullition  of 
rage.  '  I  am  at  a  loss,  sir,  to  understand  why 
you  enter  the  office  of  a  gentleman  in  a  fashion 
so  unbecoming  to  one  of  your  years  ;  you  must 
have  made  some  mistake.' 

"  *  Mistake  1 '  shrieked  Arabella's  father. 
'  Mistake,  you  snivelling  hypocrite  ?  What 
mistake  can  there  be  ?  Do  you  see  that  note 
in  this  week's  Vanity  Fair,  you  vile  deceiver  ? 
Do  you  see  me  ?  Do  you  see  anything  ? ' 

"  '  I  see  you,'  replied  the  fiend  calmly,  '  and 
I  wish  I  didn't.' 

"  '  I'll  go  bond  you  wish  you  didn't,'  howled 


THE   CROWNING  ACT   OF   INFAMY.  147 

the  enraged  visitor.  '  And  when  I  get  through 
with  you  you'll  wish  I  hadn't  brought  this  oak 
stick  along  with  me.  Now  I  want  to  know 
what  explanation  you  have  to  make  of  that 
paragraph  in  the  paper.' 

"  '  I  cannot  explain  what  I  have  not  read,' 
returned  the  fiend.  *  Nor  shall  I  attempt  to 
read  what  you  wish  to  have  explained  until  I 
know  who  you  are,  and  what  possible  right  you 
can  have  to  demand  an  explanation  of  anything 
from  me.  What  are  you,  anyhow,  a  retired 
maniac  or  simply  an  active  imbecile  ?  ' 

"  As  the  fiend  spoke  these  words,"  said  the 
spirit,  "  I  tried  to  arrest  him  ;  but  he  was  so 
angry  that  he  either  could  not  or  would  not 
hear  my  whispered  injunction  that  he  be  silent. 
As  for  the  old  gentleman,  he  sat  gasping  in  his 
chair,  glaring  at  my  poor  self,  a  perfect  picture 
of  apoplectic  delirium.  The  fiend  returned  the 
glare  unflinchingly. 

"  '  Well !  '  gasped  Mr.  Hicksworthy-John- 
stone  after  a  minute's  steady  glance,  '  if  you 
aren't  the  coolest  hand  in  Christendom.  Who 
am  I,  eh  ?  What  am  I  here  for,  eh  ?  What's 
my  name,  eh?  What  claim  have  I  on  you, 
eh  ?  Young  man,  you  are  the  most  consummate 
Lothario  on  the  footstool.  You  are  a  Don 
Juan  with  the  hide  of  a  rhinoceros  and  the 
calmness  of  a  snow-clad  Alp,  but  I  can  just 
L  2 


148  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

tell  you  one  thing.  You  can't  trifle  with 
Arabella ! ' 

"  And  then,  Hopkins,  that  infernal  fiend 
looked  my  father-in  law  elect  square  in  the  eye 
and  asked, — 

"  '  Who  the  devil  is  Arabella  ? ' 

"  As  the  words  fell  from  my  lips,  the  old 
gentleman  with  an  oath  started  from  his  chair, 
and  grasping  the  inkstand  from  the  table,  hurled 
it  with  all  his  force  at  my  waistcoat,  which 
received  it  with  breathless  surprise  ;  and  then, 
Toppleton,  it  breaks  my  heart  to  say  it,  but  my 
foot — the  foot  of  him  who  loved  Arabella  to 
distraction, — was  lifted  against  her  father,  and 
the  man  to  whom  he  had  promised  his  daughter's 
hand,  appeared  to  kick  him  forcibly,  despite  his 
grey  hairs,  out  into  and  along  the  corridor  to 
the  head  of  the  stairs.  Then,  as  I  watched, 
the  two  men  grappled  and  went  crashing  down 
the  stairs,  head  over  heels  together. 

"  Sick  with  fear  and  mortification,  I  flew 
back  into  the  room,  where,  lying  upon  the  floor, 
I  saw  the  copy  of  Vanity  Fair  that  Mr.  Hicks- 
worthy-Johnstone  had  brought,  and  marked 
with  blue  pencil  upon  the  page  before  me  was 
printed  the  announcement  of  the  engagement 
of  myself  to  Ariadne  Maude,  second  daughter 
of  John  Edward  Fackleton,  Earl  of  Pupley,  of 
Castle  Marrowfat,  Sauceton  Downs,  Worcester 
shire." 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED. 

"  I  SHOULD  say,"  volunteered  Hopkins,  with  a 
shake  of  his  head,  "that  that  was  about  the 
most  unpleasant  situation  he  had  got  you  into 
yet ;  and  yet  he  was  not  entirely  to  blame.  He 
requested  candour  from  you,  and  you  declined 
to  be  candid.  You  should  have  told  him  of 
your  engagement  to  Miss  Hicksworthy-John- 
stone.  That  would  at  least  have  prevented  his 
kicking  her  father  out  of  your  office  and  rolling 
downstairs  with  him." 

"  It  is  easy  enough  to  say  now  what  ought 
to  have  been  done,"  sobbed  the  exile.  "  I  do 
not  think  you  would  have  done  very  differently 
if  you  had  been  in  my  position.  I  was  jealous 
of  the  fiend,  I  suppose,  and  I  didn't  know  but 
what  he  would  insist  upon  doing  some  of  the 
courting — which  would  have  been  intoler 
able." 

"  Better  that  than  to  be  set  down  by  your 


150  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

fiancee  as  a  heartless  trifler,"  returned  Hopkins. 
"  But  what  happened  next  ?  Was  the  old 
gentleman  hurt  ?  " 

"  Not  he,"  replied  the  exile.  "  When  he  and 
I,  as  he  supposed  me  to  be,  reached  the  bottom 
of  the  stairs  he  landed  on  top,  and  was  the  first 
to  get  on  his  feet  again.  And  then,  Hopkins, 
I  was  glad  not  to  be  in  my  normal  condition  ; 
for  as  the  fiend  attempted  to  rise  my  Arabella's 
father,  who  still  retained  his  grip  upon  that 
oak  stick,  gave  me  the  worst  licking  I  ever  had 
in  my  life,  and  I — well,  I  really  enjoyed  the 
spectacle,  because  I  knew  that  I  deserved  it. 
The  fiend,  hampered  somewhat  by  the  corse  to 
which  he  was  not  yet  entirely  accustomed  was 
at  a  tremendous  disadvantage,  and  I  know  Mr. 
Hicksworthy-Johnstone's  blows  caused  him 
considerable  pain.  The  only  possible  escape 
for  him  was  to  leave  the  body,  which  he  did 
just  as  the  attacking  party  landed  a  resounding 
thwack  upon  the  back  of  my  neck.  Of  course, 
the  minute  the  fiend  evacuated  the  premises,  I 
appeared  to  Mr.  Hicksworthy-Johnstone  to 
have  been  killed,  because  there  was  in  reality 
no  slightest  bit  of  animation  left  in  my  body. 
It  was  the  horror  of  this  discovery  that  covered 
the  retreat  of  the  fiend,  who,  more  horribly 
green  than  ever — the  green  that  comes  from 
rage — mounted  the  steps  he  had  so  summarily 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED.       151 

descended  a  moment  before,  and  hurried  into 
my  room,  dragging  me  by  sheer  force  of  will, 
which  I  was  unable  to  resist,  after  him.  You 
see,  Hopkins,  we  were  now  nothing  more  than 
two  consciousnesses ;  two  minds,  one  mortal, 
the  other  immortal ;  one  infinitely  strong,  the 
other  finite  in  its  limitations,  and  I  was  of 
course  as  powerless  in  the  presence  of  the 
fiend  as  a  babe  in  the  arms  of  its  nurse.  Mr. 
Hicksworthy-Johnstone,  thinking  that  he  had 
killed  me,  after  a  vain  endeavour  to  restore  my 
stricken  body  to  consciousness — in  which  he 
would  have  succeeded  had  the  fiend  permitted 
me  to  take  possession  again,  for  I  did  not  wish 
Arabella's  father  to  suppose  for  one  instant 
that  he  was  a  murderer — sneaked  on  tip-toes 
from  the  building,  and,  mumbling  to  himself  in 
an  insane  fashion,  disappeared  in  the  crowd  of 
pedestrians  on  the  street. 

"  '  This  is  a  pretty  mess  you've  got  us  into,' 
said  the  fiend.  '  I  should  like  to  know  what 
excuse  you  can  have  for  such  infernal  duplicity 
as  you  have  been  guilty  of  ?  ' 

" '  I  cannot  discuss  this  matter  with  you,'  I 
answered.  '  The  duplicity  is  not  mine,  but 
yours.  You  have  endeavoured  to  exercise 
rights  which  were  clearly  not  yours  to  exercise. 
I  informed  you  that  in  matters  of  love — ' 

"  '  Matters  of  love ! '  he  ejaculated.     '  Do  you 


152  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

call  this  a  matter  of  love  ?  Do  you  think  it's 
a  matter  of  love  for  an  entire  stranger  to  throw 
a  two-pound  crystal  inkstand  loaded  with  ink 
at  the  very  core  of  my  waistcoat  ?  Is  it  a 
matter  of  love  for  a  grey-haired  villain  like  that 
to  drag  me  or  you,  whichever  way  you  choose 
to  put  it,  down  a  flight  of  stairs  and  then  knock 
the  life  out  of  us  ?  It  seems  to  me,  you  have  a 
strange  idea  of  love.' 

"  '  Don't  you  understand  !  '  I  cried.  '  That 
man  was  only  doing  his  duty.  He  is  Arabella's 
father ! ' 

" '  Again,  I  must  ask,'  said  the  fiend,  in  a 
manner  that  aggravated  me  as  it  had  aggravated 
the  old  gentleman,  '  who,  in  all  creation,  is 
Arabella  ? ' 

"  '  My  fiancee  ! '  I  yelled.  *  My  fiancee,  you 
poor  blind  omniscient  !  Whom  did  you 
suppose  ?  ' 

"As  I  uttered  these  words,  Hopkins,  the 
fiend's  whole  manner  changed.  He  was  no 
longer  flustered  and  angry  merely ;  he  was  a 
determined  and  very  angry  being.  He  rose 
from  his  chair,  and  fixing  his  eye  upon  the 
point  where  he  thought  I  was — and  he  had 
a  faculty  of  establishing  that  point  accurately 
at  all  times — and  pointing  that  horrible  finger 
of  his  at  me,  fairly  hissed  with  rage. 

"  *  That  settles  it,  sir,'  he  cried.     '  You  and 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED.      153 

I  part  for  ever.  You,  by  your  foolish  perversity, 
by  your  inexplicable  lack  of  candour,  by  your 
sinful  refusal  to  trust  your  welfare  to  my  hands, 
who  have  done  so  much  for  you,  have  nearly 
overthrown  the  whole  structure  of  the  greatness 
I  have  builded  up.  Your  idiotic  behaviour  has 
decided  me  to  do  that  which  from  the  very 
beginning  I  have  most  feared.  I  have  been 
haunted  by  the  fear  that  you  would  want  to 
marry  some  woman  simply  for  the  empty, 
mortal  reason  that  you  loved  her,  utterly 
ignoring  the  fact  that  by  a  judicious  matri 
monial  step  you  could  attain  to  heights  that 
otherwise  could  never  be  yours.  Having  your 
interests  entirely  in  view,  I  had  arranged  a 
match  which  would  strengthen  into  permanence 
your,  at  present,  rather  uncertain  hold  upon 
society.  Lady  Ariadne  Maude  Fackleton,  to 
whom  you  are  at  present  engaged,  as  the 
daughter  of  the  Earl  of  Pupley,  can  give  you 
the  entree  to  the  best  circles  in  London  or  out 
of  it  ;  while  this  Arabella  of  yours  can  serve 
only  to  assist  you  in  spending  your  income  and 
keeping  your  parlour  free  from  dust.  Now, 
what  earthly  use  was  there  in  your  philander 
ing—' 

" '  I  fancy  I  have  a  right  to  select  my  own 
wife,'  I  said. 

" '  You   always  were   strong  on  fancies,'  he 


154  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

retorted.  '  You  might  have  known  that  with 
the  career  opening  up  before  you  a  plain 
Arabella  would  never  do.  Do  you  suppose  you 
could  take  her  to  a  ball  at  the  Earl  of 
Mawlberry's  ?  Do  you  suppose  that  any 
woman,  in  fact,  who  would  consent  to  marry 
you  as  your  weak  inefficient  self  could  go  any 
where  and  do  me  justice  ?  I  guess  not ;  and 
your  behaviour  has  settled  our  partnership  for 
ever.  We  part  for  good.' 

" '  Well,  I'm  glad  of  it,'  I  retorted,  goaded 
to  anger  by  his 'words.  'Get  out.  I  don't 
want  to  see  you  again.  You've  ruined  me  by 
putting  me  in  false  positions  from  the  time  we 
met  until  now,  and  I  am  sick  of  it.  You  can't 
leave  too  soon  to  suit  me.' 

"  When  I  had  spoken  these  words  he  darted 
one  final  venomous  glance  at  me,  and  walked 
whistling  from  the  room.  As  long  as  his 
whistle  was  perceptible  I  remained  quiet — 
quiet  as  my  agitation  would  permit ;  and  then, 
when  the  last  flute-like  note  died  away  in  the 
distance,  I  floated  from  the  room  and  down 
the  stairs  to  get  my  poor  bruised  body  and  put 
it  in  shape  to  call  on  Arabella. 

"  Hopkins,  when  I  reached  the  foot  of  the 
stairs  my  body  had  disappeared !  I  was 
frantic  with  fear.  I  did  not  know  whether  it 
had  been  found  by  the  janitor  and  conveyed  to 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED.      155 

the  morgue,  whether  Arabella's  father  had 
returned  to  conceal  it,  and  so  conceal  his  fancied 
crime,  or  whether  the  fiend  had  finally  crowned 
his  infamous  work  by  stealing  it.  I  sought  for 
it  in  vain.  Forgetful  of  my  invisibility,  I  asked 
the  janitor  if  he  had  seen  it,  and  he  fled  shriek 
ing  with  fear  from  the  building,  and  declined 
ever  thereafter  to  enter  it  again.  Every  nook 
and  corner  in  the  Temple  I  searched  and  found 
it  not,  and  then  I  floated  dejectedly  to  Arabella's 
home,  where  I  found  her  embracing  her  father 
in  a  last  fond  farewell.  The  old  gentleman  was 
about  leaving  the  country  to  escape  the  conse 
quences  of  his  crime. 

"'Arabella!'  I  cried,  as  I  entered  the 
room. 

"  The  girl  turned  a  deadly  white,  and  her 
father  fell  cringing  upon  his  knees,  and  then  I 
realized  that,  recognizing  my  voice,  they  feared 
my  ghost  had  come  to  haunt  them,  and  with 
this  realization  came  to  my  consciousness  the 
overwhelming  thought  that  both  would  go 
insane  were  I  to  persist  in  speaking  while 
invisible. 

"The  situation,  Hopkins,  was  absolutely 
terrible,  and  if  I  had  had  my  teeth  I  should 
have  gnashed  them  for  the  very  helplessness  of 
my  condition." 

"  Did    the   old    gentleman    persist    in    his 


156  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

determination  to  leave  the  country  ?  "  asked 
Hopkins. 

"  He  did.  He  sailed  for  the  United  States 
on  a  small  freight  schooner  that  night,  and 
reached  New  York  in  time  to  hear  in  that  far- 
off  clime  of  the  marriage  of  his  supposed 
victim ;  but  I  must  not  anticipate,"  said  the 
exile. 

"  For  three  weeks  after  that  horrible  day  I 
never  caught  sight  of  my  missing  person,  nor 
did  I  discover  the  slightest  clue  as  to  its 
whereabouts.  It  never  turned  up  at  my 
quarters  that  I  could  learn,  but  that  it  was  not 
dead  or  buried  I  had  good  reason  to  believe ; 
for  one  morning,  while  I  was  away  from  my 
rooms  floating  along  Rotten  Row,  hoping  to 
catch  sight  of  myself  if  perchance  I  still  lived, 
four  truckmen  arrived  at  the  Temple  here  and 
moved  all  my  clothes  and  furniture,  whither  I 
never  discovered,  in  consequence  of  which  act, 
upon  my  return  here,  I  found  the  room  cold 
and  bare  as  a  barn." 

"  That  was  rank  robbery,"  said  Topple- 
ton. 

"We  should  have  trouble  in  establishing 
that  fact  in  court,"  returned  the  exile.  "  I  could 
not  deny  on  oath  that  my  hand  had  penned 
the  order  for  the  removal  of  the  goods,  and  as 
for  the  clothes  and  other  things,  most  of  them 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED.      157 

had  been  bought  by  the  money  I  had  earned 
through  the  fiend's  instrumentality." 

"  That  is  so,"  said  Toppleton,  hastily  ac 
quiescing  in  the  exile's  words,  lest  he  should 
seem  to  his  visitor  less  acute  than  a  full-fledged 
lawyer  should  be.  "  And  how  long  was  it 
before  you  encountered  yourself  once  more  ?  " 

"Three  weeks,"  returned  the  exile.  "And 
where  do  you  suppose  the  meeting  took 
place  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  said  Hopkins.  "  At  Buck 
ingham  Palace  ?  " 

"  No,  sir.  In  Arabella's  parlour !  It  was 
just  three  weeks  from  the  hour  in  which  Mr. 
Hicksworthy-Johnstone  appeared  at  my  office 
door  in  the  Temple  that,  for  the  want  of  some 
thing  better  to  do,  I  floated  into  Arabella's 
parlour  again,  and  was  filled  with  consterna 
tion  to  see  standing  there  before  the  mirror, 
adjusting  his  tie,  the  fiend  in  full  possession  of 
my  treasured  self.  I  was  about  to  utter  a  cry 
of  delight  when  I  heard  an  ejaculation  of  fear 
behind  me,  and  turning  saw  Arabella  herself 
entering  the  room,  pale  as  a  sheet.  I  tell  you 
Hopkins,  it  was  dramatic ;  though,  as  far  as  the 
fiend  was  concerned,  he  was  as  nonchalant  as 
could  be. 

" '  You  are  not  dead !  '  cried  Arabella, 
hoarsely. 


158  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  '  Not  that  I  am  aware  of,  madam,'  said  the 
fiend  coolly.  '  Have  I  the  honour  of  address 
ing  Miss  Arabella  Hicksworthy-Johnstone  ?  ' 

" '  Oh,  Edward,  Edward,'  she  cried—'  I  forgot 
to  tell  you,  Hopkins,'  explained  the  spirit,  '  my 
name  was  Edward  ' — '  oh,  Edward,  what  does 
this  mean  ?  '  she  cried.  '  My  father  has  fled  to 
America,  thinking  that  in  that  unhappy 
moment  of  Saturday  three  weeks  ago  he  had 
killed  you.' 

"  '  Indeed  !  '  returned  the  fiend.  *  I  sin 
cerely  hope  he  will  enjoy  the  trip,  though  he 
did  inflict  injuries  upon  me  from  which  I  shall 
be  a  long  time  in  recovering.  But  tell  me, 
madame,  are  you  Miss  Arabella  Hicksworthy- 
Johnstone  ? ' 

"  '  Edward,'  she  replied,  '  are  you  mad  ? ' 

" '  I  have  a  right  to  be  indignant  at  your 
father's  treatment  of  me,  if  that  vilely  vindic 
tive  old  person  was  your  father,  but  I  am  not 
what  you  might  call  mad.  I  cherish  no  vindic 
tive  feelings.  But  as  my  time  is  limited  I 
should  like  to  proceed  at  once  to  the  business 
I  have  in  hand,  if  you  will  permit  me/ 

"  Arabella  sat  aghast  as  the  man  she  deemed 
her  fiance  spoke  'these  words  to  her.  She 
was  utterly  unable  to  comprehend  the  situation, 
and  I  could  not  clarify  the  cloud  upon  her 
understanding  without  imperilling  her  reason. 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS  CONCLUDED.      159 

Oh,  Hopkins,  Hopkins,  were  the  fires  of  Hades 
to  become  extinguished  to-day,  there  are  other 
tortures  for  the  spirit  close  at  hand  more 
hideously  unbearable  even  than  they !  " 

"  It  would  seem  so,"  said  Hopkins.  "  If  I 
had  my  choice  between  your  experience  and 
Hades,  I  think  I  should  warm  up  to  the  latter. 
But  go  on.  What  did  Arabella  say  ?  " 

"  She  drew  herself  up  proudly  after  a  moment 
of  hesitation,  and  said,  '  I  have  no  desire  to 
hinder  you  in  going  about  your  business.' 

"  'Thanks,'  said  the  fiend.  '  Assuming  that 
you  are  Miss  Arabella  Hicksworthy-Johnstone, 
I  would  say  to  you  that  I  should  like  to  know 
upon  what  your  father's  claim  that  you  and  I 
are  engaged  rests.' 

"  '  Really,  Edward,'  she  returned  impatiently, 
'  I  cannot  comprehend  your  singular  behaviour 
this  afternoon.  You  know  how  we  became 
engaged.  You  know  you  asked  me  to  be  your 
wife,  and  you  know  that  after  keeping  you  on 
your  knees  for  several  hours  I  consented.' 

"  '  Madam,'  observed  the  fiend,  '  I  never 
went  on  my  knees  to  a  woman  in  my  life.  I 
never  asked  but  one  woman  in  this  world  to  be 
my  wife,  and  you  are  not  she.' 

"  '  What ! '  cried  Arabella.  '  Do  you  mean 
to  say  to  me,  Edward,  that  you  did  not  ask  me 
to  be  your  wife  ? ' 


160  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  '  I  meant  to  say  exactly  what  I  said.  That 
I  am  engaged  to  be  married  to  Lady  Ariadne 
Maude  Fackleton,  daughter  of  the  Earl  of 
Pupley,  the  only  woman  to  whom  I  ever  spoke 
or  thought  of  speaking  a  word  of  love  in  my 
life.  I  mean  to  say  that  Lady  Ariadne  Maude 
Fackleton  and  I  expect  to  be  married  before 
the  month  is  up.  I  mean  to  say  that  I  never 
saw  you  before  in  my  life,  and  I  should  like  to 
know  what  your  intentions  are  concerning  this 
absurd  claim  that  I  am  engaged  to  you  may  be, 
for  I  do  not  intend  to  have  my  future  marred 
by  any  breach  of  promise  suits.  In  short, 
madam,  do  you  intend  to  claim  me  as  your 
matrimonial  prize  or  not  ?  If  not,  all  well 
and  good.  If  so,  I  shall  secure  an  injunction 
restraining  you  from  doing  anything  of  the  sort. 
Even  should  you  force  me  to  the  altar  itself  I 
should  then  and  there  forbid  the  banns.' 

"  '  Sir,'  said  my  Arabella,  drawing  herself  up 
like  a  queen,  '  you  may  leave  this  house,  and 
never  set  foot  again  within  its  walls.  I  should 
as  soon  think  of  claiming  that  celebrated  biblical 
personage,  of  whom  you  remind  me,  Ananias, 
for  a  husband  as  you.  Do  not  flatter  yourself 
that  I  shall  ever  dispute  the  Lady  Ariadne's 
possession  of  so  accomplished  a  lord  and  master 
as  yourself, — though  I  should  do  so  were  I 
more  philanthropically  disposed.  If  it  be  the 


THE    SPIRIT'S    STORY    IS   CONCLUDED.       l6l 

duty  of  one  woman  to  protect  the  happiness 
of  another,  I  should  do  all  that  lies  in  my 
power  to  prevent  this  marriage  ;  but  inasmuch 
as  my  motive  in  so  doing  would,  in  all  likeli 
hood,  be  misconstrued,  I  must  abstain ;  I 
must  hold  myself  aloof,  though  the  whole 
future  happiness  of  one  of  my  own  sex  be 
at  stake.  Farewell,  sir,  and  good  riddance. 
If  you  will  leave  me  Lady  Ariadne's  address, 
I  will  send  her  my  sympathy  as  a  wedding 

gift/ 

"  *  Madam/  returned  the  fiend,  bowing  low, 
'  your  kind  words  have  taken  a  heavy  load  from 
my  heart.  You  deserve  a  better  fate ;  but  fare 
well.' 

"  Then  as  the  fiend  departed  Arabella  swooned 
away.  My  first  impulse  was  to  follow  the 
fiend,  and  to  discover  if  possible  his  address ; 
but  I  could  not  bring  myself  to  leave  Arabella 
at  that  moment,  she  was  so  overcome.  I  floated 
to  the  prostrate  woman,  and  whispered  the  love 
I  felt  for  her  in  her  ear. 

"  '  Arabella/  I  said.  '  Arabella — my  love — it 
is  all  a  mistake.  Open  your  eyes  and  see.  I 
am  here  ready  to  explain  all  if  you  will  only 
listen.' 

"  Her  answer  was  a  moan  and  a  fluttering  of 
the  eyelids. 

"'Arabella/  I  repeated.       '  Don't  you  hear 

M 


162  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

me,  sweetheart  ?     Open  your  eyes  and  look  at 
me.     It  is  I,  Edward.' 

"  '  Edward  !  '  she  gasped,  her  eyes  still  closed. 
*  What  does  it  all  mean  ?  Why  have  you  treated 
me  so  ? ' 

"  *  It  is  not  I  who  have  done  this  Arabella  ;  it 
is  another  vile  being  over  whose  actions  I  have 
no  control.  He  is  a  fiend  who  has  me  in  his 
power.  He  is — oh,  Arabella,  do  not  ask  me,  do 
not  insist  upon  knowing  all,  only  believe  that 
I  am  not  to  blame  !  ' 

"  *  Kiss  me,  Edward,'  she  murmured.  '  One 
little  kiss.' 

"Hopkins,"  moaned  the  exile,  "just  think 
of  that !  One  little  kiss  was  all  she  asked,  and 
I — I  hadn't  anything  to  kiss  her  with — not 
the  vestige  of  a  lip. 

"  '  Kiss  me,  Edward,'  she  repeated. 

"  *  I  cannot,'  I  cried  out  in  anguish. 

"  '  Why  not  ?  '  she  demanded,  sitting  up  on 
the  floor  and  gazing  wildly  around  her,  and 
then  seeing  that  she  was  absolutely  alone  in 
the  room,  and  had  been  conversing  with — " 

"  Oh !  "  ejaculated  Hopkins,  wringing  his 
hands.  "  Dear  me  !  The  poor  girl  must  have 
been  nearly  crazy." 

"  Nearly,  Hopkins  ? "  said  the  exile,  in  a 
sepulchral  tone.  "  Nearly  ?  Arabella  never 
did  anything  by  halves  or  by  nearlies.  She 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED.      163 

became  quite  crazy,  and  as  far  as  I  know  has 
remained  so  until  this  day,  for  with  the  restora 
tion  of  consciousness,  and  the  shock  of  opening 
her  eyes  to  see  nothing  that  could  speak  with 
her,  and  yet  had  spoken,  her  mind  gave  way, 
and  she  fled  chattering  like  an  imbecile  from  the 
room.  I  have  never  seen  her  since  !  " 

"  And  the  fiend  ?  "  queried  Toppleton. 

"  I  saw  him  at  St.  George's  on  the  following 
Wednesday,"  returned  the  exile.  "  I  had 
been  wandering  aimlessly  and  distractedly  about 
London  for  four  days  since  the  dreadful  episode 
at  Arabella's,  when  I  came  to  St.  George's 
Church.  There  was  an  awning  before  the  door, 
and  from  the  handsome  equipages  drawn  up 
before  the  edifice  I  knew  that  some  notable 
function  was  going  on  within.  The  crowds, 
the  usual  London  crowds,  were  being  kept 
back  by  the  police,  but  I,  of  course,  being  in 
visible,  floated  over  their  heads,  past  the 
guards,  through  the  awning  into  the  church. 
There  was  a  wedding  in  progress,  and  the 
groom's  back  seemed  familiar,  though  I  could 
not  place  it  at  first,  and  naturally,  Toppleton, 
for  it  was  my  own,  as  I  discovered,  a  moment 
later.  When  the  last  irrevocable  words  binding 
me  to  a  woman  I  had  never  before  seen  had 
been  spoken,  and  the  organ  began  to  peal 
forth  the  melodious  measures  of  the  Lohengrin 

M    2 


164  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

March,  the  bride  and  groom,  made  one,  turned 
and  faced  the  brilliant  assemblage  of  guests, 
among  whom  were  the  premier  and  the  mem 
bers  of  his  cabinet,  and  as  complete  a  set  of 
nabobs,  mentioned  in  Burke,  as  could  be 
gathered  in  London  at  that  time  of  the  year, 
and  I  recognized  my  own  face  wreathed  in 
smiles,  my  own  body  dressed  in  wedding  garb, 
standing  on  the  chancel  steps  ready  to  descend. 

"  I  was  married,  Hopkins,  at  last.  Married 
to  a  woman  of  beauty  and  wealth  and  high 
position,  utterly  unknown  to  me,  and  not  only 
were  my  own  mother  and  my  best  friends 
absent,  but  I  myself  had  only  happened  in  by 
accident. 

"  My  rage  knew  no  bounds,  and  as  the  fiend 
and  his  bride  passed  down  the  aisle  amid  the 
showered  congratulations  of  the  aristocratic 
multitude,  I  impotently  endeavoured  to  strike 
him,  of  which  he  was  serenely  unconscious  ;  but 
as  he  left  the  church  my  voice,  which  had  been 
stifled  with  indignation,  at  last  grew  clear,  and 
I  howled  out  high  above  the  crowds, — 

"  'You  vile  scoundrel,  restore  me  to  myself! 
Give  me  back  the  presence  of  which  you  have 
robbed  me,  or  may  every  curse  in  all  the 
universe  fall  upon  you  and  your  house  for 
ever.' 

"  He  heard  me,  Toppleton,  and  his  answer 


THE   SPIRIT'S   STORY   IS   CONCLUDED.      165 

was  a  smile — a  green  smile — seeing  which  his 
bride,  the  Lady  Ariadne  Maude  Fackleton, 
fainted  as  they  drove  away. 

"  That,  Hopkins,  is  substantially  the  tale  of 
villainy  I  have  come  to  tell.  Little  remains  to 
be  told.  The  fiend  has  been  true  to  his  pro 
mise  to  make  me  famous,  for  every  passing 
year  has  brought  some  new  honour  to  my  name. 
I  have  been  elevated  to  the  peerage ;  I  have 
been  ambassador  to  the  most  brilliant  courts  of 
Europe  ;  I  have  been  all  that  one  could  hope 
to  be,  and  yet  I  have  not  been  myself.  I  ask 
your  assistance.  Will  you  not  give  it  to  me  ?  " 

"  Edward,"  said  Toppleton  warmly,  "  I  will. 
I  will  be  candid  with  you,  Edward.  I  am 
almost  as  ignorant  of  law  as  a  justice  of  the 
peace,  but  for  your  sake  I  will  study  and  see 
what  can  be  done.  I  will  fight  your  case  for 
you  to  the  very  last,  but  first  tell  me  one 
thing.  Your  name  is  what  ? ' 

"  Edward  Pompton  Chatford." 

"  What !  "  cried  Toppleton,  "  the  famous 
novelist  ?  " 

"  He  made  me  so,"  said  the  exile. 

"  And  the  fiend's  present  title  is  ?  " 

"  Lord  Barncastle  of  Burningford." 

"  He  ?  "  said  Toppleton,  incredulously,  recog 
nizing  the  name  as  that  of  one  who  fairly  bent 
beneath  the  honours  of  the  world. 


166  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  None  other,"  returned  the  exile. 

"  Heavens  !  "  ejaculated  Toppleton.  "  How 
Morley,  Harkins,  Perkins,  Mawson,  Bronson, 
Smithers,  and  Hicks  will  open  their  eyes  when 
I  tell  them  that  I  have  been  retained  to  in 
stitute  habeas  corpus  proceedings  in  the  case  of 
Chatford  v.  Barncastle  of  Burningford  !  Mor 
ley,  particularly,  I  am  afraid  will  die  of  fright !  " 


CHAPTER  XL 

TOPPLETON    CONSULTS     THE     LAW  AND     FORMS 
AN   OPINION. 

AT  the  conclusion  of  the  exile's  story  Hopkins 
glanced  at  his  watch,  and  discovered  that  he 
had  barely  time  to  return  to  his  lodging  and 
dress  for  a  little  dinner  he  had  promised  to 
attend  that  evening. 

"  I  will  look  up  the  law  in  this  case  of  yours, 
Chatford,"  he  said,  rising  from  his  chair  and 
putting  on  his  hat  and  coat,  "  and  in  about  a 
week  I  rather  think  we  shall  be  able  to  decide 
upon  some  definite  line  of  action.  It  will  be 
difficult,  I  am  afraid,  to  find  any  precedent  to 
guide  us  in  a  delicate  matter  of  this  sort,  but 
as  a  lay  lawyer,  if  I  may  be  allowed  the  expres 
sion,  it  seems  to  me  that  there  ought  to  be 
some  redress  for  one  who  has  been  made  the 
victim  of  so  many  different  kinds  of  infamy  at 
once  as  you  have.  The  weak  part  of  our  case 
is  that  you  were  yourself  an  accessory  to  every 
single  one  of  the  fiend's  crimes,  and  in  insti- 


i68  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

tuting  a  suit  at  law  we  cannot  get  around  the 
fact  that  in  a  measure  you  are  both  plaintiff 
and  defendant.  I  believe  those  are  the  terms 
usually  employed  to  designate  the  two  parties 
to  a  suit,  except  in  the  case  of  an  appeal,  when 
there  is  an  appellant  and  a  repellant  if  my 
memory  serves  me." 

"  It  may  be  as  you  say,"  returned  the  exile, 
sadly.  "I'll  have  to  take  your  word  for  it 
entirely,  since,  as  I  have  already  told  you,  all 
the  law  I  ever  knew  I  have  forgotten,  and  then, 
too,  my  business  being  purely  one  of  adjudica 
tion,  I  used  to  distinguish  my  clients  one  from 
another — representing,  as  I  did,  both  sides — 
by  calling  them,  respectively,  the  compromisee 
and  the  compromisor." 

"Well,"  Toppleton  said,  "I'll  find  out  all 
about  it  and  let  you  know,  say,  by  Friday  next. 
We'll  first  have  to  decide  in  what  capacity 
you  shall  appear  in  court,  whether  as  a  plaintiff 
or  defendant.  I  think  under  the  circumstances 
you  will  have  to  go  as  a  plaintiff,  though  in  a 
case  in  which  my  father  was  interested  some 
years  ago,  I  know  that  it  was  really  the  plaintiff 
who  was  put  on  the  defensive  as  soon  as  the 
old  gentleman  took  him  in  hand  to  cross- 
examine  him.  It  was  said  by  experts  to  have 
been  the  Grossest  examination  on  the  calendar 
that  year ;  and  between  you  and  me,  Edward, 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    l6g 

the  plaintiff  never  forgave  his  attorneys  for  not 
retaining  the  governor  on  his  side  in  the  be 
ginning.  If  you  would  rather  go  as  a  defendant, 
I  suppose  I  could  arrange  to  have  it  so,  but  it 
strikes  me  as  a  disadvantageous  thing  to  do  in 
these  days,  because  in  most  cases,  it  is  the 
defendant  who  has  committed  the  wrong  upon 
which  the  suit  is  based,  and  a  man  who  starts 
in  as  the  underdog,  has  to  combat  the  prejudices 
of  judge,  jury  and  general  public,  with  whom  it 
is  a  time-honoured  custom  to  believe  a  man 
guilty  until  he  has  proven  his  innocence.  I 
think,  on  the  whole,  it  would  be  easier  for  you 
to  prove  Lord  Barncastle's  guilt  than  your  own 
innocence." 

"  I  know  from  the  lucid  manner  in  which  you 
talk,  Toppleton,"  said  the  exile,  with  a  deep 
sigh  indicating  satisfaction,  "  from  the  readiness 
and  extemporaneousness  with  which  you  grasp 
the  situation,  not  losing  sight  of  side  issues, 
that  I  have  made  no  mistake  in  coming  to  you. 
Heaven  bless  you,  sir.  You  will  never  regret 
the  assistance  you  are  so  nobly  giving  to  one 
you  have  never  seen." 

"  Don't  mention  it,  Sallie — I  should  say 
Chatford,"  said  Toppleton.  "  I  am  an  American 
citizen  and  will  ever  be  found  championing  the 
cause  of  the  oppressed  against  the  oppressor. 
My  ears  are  ever  open  to  the  plaint  of  the 


170  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

plaintiff,  nor  shall  I  be  deaf  to  the  defendant  in 
case  you  choose  to  be  the  latter.  Count  on  me, 
Edward,  and  all  will  yet  be  well !  " 

With  these  inspiring  words,  Toppleton  lit 
his  cigar  and  walked  jauntily  from  the  room, 
and  the  exile  relapsed  into  silence. 

Faithful  to  his  promise,  Toppleton  applied 
himself  assiduously  to  the  study  of  the  law  as 
it  seemed  to  him  to  bear  upon  the  case  of  his 
mysterious  client.  To  be  sure,  his  library  was 
not  quite  as  extensive  as  it  might  have  been, 
and  there  may  have  been  points  in  other  books 
than  the  ones  he  had,  which  would  have  affected 
his  case  materially,  but  the  young  lawyer  was 
more  or  less  self-reliant,  and  what  he  had  to 
read  he  read  intelligently. 

"  If  I  were  called  upon  suddenly  to  rescue  a 
young  woman  from  drowning,  and  possessed 
nothing  but  an  anchor  and  a  capstan  bar  to  do 
it  with,  my  duty  clearly  would  be  to  do  the 
best  I  could  with  those  tools,  however  awkward 
they  might  be.  I  could  not  ease  my  conscience 
after  neglecting  to  do  all  that  I  could  with  those 
tools,  by  saying  that  I  hadn't  a  lifeboat  and 
a  cork  suit  handy.  Here  is  a  parallel  case.  I 
must  do  the  best  I  can  with  the  tools  I  have, 
and  I  guess  I  can  find  enough  law  in  Blackstone 
and  that  tree  calf  copy  of  the  sixteenth  volume 
of  Abbott's  '  Digest  '  I  picked  up  the  other  day 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    171 

to  cover  this  case.  If  I  can't,  I'll  have  to  use 
the  sense  that  Nature  gave  me,  and  go  ahead 
anyhow." 

To  his  delight,  Hopkins  found  it  utterly  un 
necessary  for  him  to  read  the  tree  calf  sixteenth 
volume  of  Abbott's  "  Digest,"  he  found  so  much 
in  the  "  Comic  Blackstone  "  that  applied. 

"  Why,  do  you  know,"  he  said  to  the  exile 
when  they  met,  the  one  to  explain  the  law,  the 
other  to  listen,  "  do  you  know  you  have  the 
finest  case  in  all  Christendom,  without  leaving 
the  very  fundamental  principles  of  the  law  ? 
It's  really  extraordinary  what  a  case  you  have, 
or  rather,  would  have,  if  you  could  devise  some 
means  of  appearing  in  court.  That's  the  un- 
crackable  nut  in  the  case.  How  the  deuce  to 
have  you  appear  on  the  witness  stand,  I  can't 
see.  The  court  would  not  tolerate  any  such 
makeshift  as  the  Aunt  Sallie  scheme  you  and  I 
have  adopted,  it  would  be  so  manifestly  absurd, 
and  would  give  the  counsel  for  the  defence — 
for  you  must  be  the  plaintiff  after  all,  can't 
help  yourself — it  would  give  the  counsel  for  the 
defence  the  finest  chance  to  annihilate  us  by 
the  use  of  his  satirical  powers  he  had  ever  had, 
and  before  a  jury  that  would  simply  ruin  our 
cause  at  the  outset." 

"  I   don't  see  why  I  can't  testify  as  I  am — 
bodiless  as  I  have  been  left.     The  mere  absence 


172  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

of  my  body  and  presence  of  my  consciousness 
would  almost  prove  my  case,"  said  the  exile. 

"  It  would  seem  as  if  it  ought  to,"  said 
Toppleton.  "  But  you  know  what  men  are. 
They  believe  very  little  that  they  hear,  and  not 
much  more  than  half  that  they  see.  You 
couldn't  expect  anyone  to  believe  the  points  of 
a  person  unseen.  If  they  can't  see  you  they 
can't  see  your  hardships,  and  besides,  hearsay 
evidence  unsupported  is  not  worth  shucks." 

"  I  don't  know  what  shucks  are,"  returned 
the  exile,  "  but  I  see  your  point." 

"  It's  a  serious  point,"  said  Toppleton. 
"  And  then  there  is  another  most  embarrassing 
side  to  it.  We  can't  afford  to  have  our  case 
weakened  by  putting  ourselves  in  a  position 
where  countercharges  can  be  brought  against 
us,  and  I  am  very  much  afraid  our  opponents 
would  charge  vagrancy  against  you,  for  the 
very  obvious  and  irrefutable  reason  that  you 
have  absolutely  no  visible  means  of  support. 
You  wouldn't  have  a  leg  to  stand  on  if  they  did 
that,  and  yet  it  does  seem  a  pity  that  some 
thing  cannot  be  done  to  enable  you  to  appear, 
for  as  I  said  a  minute  ago,  you  have  otherwise 
a  perfectly  magnificent  cause  of  action.  Why, 
Edward,  there  isn't  a  page  in  the  Comic 
Blackstone  that  does  not  contain  something 
that  applies  to  your  case,  and  that  ought  to 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    173 

make  you  a  winner  if  we  could  get  around  this 
horrible  lack  of  body  of  yours. 

"  For  instance,"  continued  Toppleton,  open 
ing  A'Beckett's  famous  contribution  to  legal 
lore,  "  in  the  very  first  chapter  we  find  that 
Blackstone  divides  rights  into  rights  of  persons 
and  rights  of  things.  Clearly  you  have  a  right 
to  your  own  person,  and  no  judge  on  a  sane 
bench  would  dare  deny  it.  Absolute  rights,  it 
says  here,  belong  to  man  in  a  state  of  nature, 
which  being  so,  you  have  been  wronged, 
because  in  being  deprived  of  your  state  of 
nature  you  have  been  robbed  of  your  absolute 
rights.  Clear  as  crystal,  eh  ?  " 

"  That's  so,"  said  the  exile.  "  You  are  a 
marvel  at  law,  Hopkins." 

"  In  section  six  reference  is  made  to  the 
habeas  corpus  act  of  Charles  the  Second,  and 
unless  I  have  forgotten  my  Latin,  that 
is  a  distinct  reference  to  a  man's  right 
to  the  possession  of  his  own  body.  Section 
eight,  same  chapter,  announces  man's  right 
to  personal  security,  and  asserts  his  legal 
claim  to  the  enjoyment  of  life,  limbs,  health  and 
reputation.  Have  you  enjoyed  your  life  ?  No  ! 
Have  you  enjoyed  your  limbs  ?  Not  for  thirty 
years.  Have  you  enjoyed  your  health.  No  ! 
Barncastle  of  Burningford  has  enjoyed  that  as 
well  as  your  reputation.  I  think  on  the  whole 


174  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

though,  we  would  better  not  say  anything 
about  your  reputation  if  we  get  into  court,  for 
while  it  is  undoubtedly  yours,  and  has  been  by 
no  means  enjoyed  by  you,  you  didn't  make  it 
for  yourself.  That  was  his  work,  and  he  is 
entitled  to  it." 

"  True,"  said  the  exile.  "  I  do  not  wish  to 
claim  anything  I  am  not  entitled  to." 

"  That's  the  proper  spirit,"  said  Toppleton. 
"  You  want  what  belongs  to  you  and  nothing 
more.  You  are  entitled  to  your  property,  for 
which  section  eleven  of  this  same  chapter 
provides,  saying  that  the  law  will  not  allow  a 
man  to  be  deprived  of  his  property  except  by 
the  law  itself.  If  a  man's  own  body  isn't  his, 
I'd  like  to  know  to  whom  it  belongs  in  a 
country  that  professes  to  be  free  !  " 

Toppleton  paused  at  this  point  to  make  a 
few  notes  and  to  reinforce  his  own  spirit  by 
means  of  others. 

"  Now,  under  the  head  of  real  property, 
Chatford,"  he  said,  "  I  find  that  in  England 
property  is  real  or  personal.  I  think  that  in 
this  case,  that  of  which  you  have  been  de 
prived  comes  under  both  heads.  One's  body 
is  certainly  real  and  unquestionably  personal, 
and  if  a  man  has  a  right  to  the  possession  of 
each,  he  has  a  right  to  the  possession  of  both, 
and  he  who  robs  him  of  both  is  guilty  of  a 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    175 

crime  under  each  head.  Real  property  con 
sists  of  lands,  tenements  and  hereditaments. 
Lands  we  must  perforce  exclude  because  you 
have  lost  no  lands.  Tenements  may  be 
alluded  to,  however,  with  absolute  fairness 
because  the  body  is  the  tenement  of  the  soul. 
Of  hereditaments  I  am  not  sure.  I  don't 
know  what  hereditaments  are,  and  I  haven't 
had  time  to  find  out  anything  about  them 
except  that  they  are  corporeal  or  incorporeal, 
which  leads  me  to  infer  that  you  have  been 
wronged  under  this  head  also,  for  I  must 
assume  that  a  hereditament  is  something  that 
may  or  may  not  have  a  body  according  to 
circumstances,  which  is  your  case  exactly. 

"  Now  a  man's  right  to  the  possession  of  an 
estate  is  called  his  title,  if  I  am  not  mistaken," 
continued  Hopkins,  "  and  it  is  only  reasonable 
to  suppose  that  this  refers  to  bodily  estate  as 
well  as  to  landed  estate.  What  we  must 
dispute  is  Barncastle's  title  to  your  bodily 
estate.  Our  case  is  referred  to  in  section  two, 
chapter  nine,  part  second  of  this  book,  which 
deals  with  joint  tenancy  in  which  two  or  more 
persons  have  one  and  the  same  interest  in  an 
estate,  but  it  must  be  held  by  both  at  the  same 
time.  Now,  even  granting,  as  the  other  side 
may  say,  that  you  entered  into  a  partnership 
with  the  fiend,  we  could  knock  him  right  off  his 


176  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

pins  on  the  sole  fact  that  in  declining  to  admit 
you  to  your  own  bodily  estate,  he  has  not  only 
deprived  you  of  an  undoubted  right,  but  has  in 
reality  forfeited  his  own  claim  to  possession, 
since  he  has  violated  the  only  principle  of  law 
upon  which  he  could  claim  entrance  to  the 
estate  under  any  circumstances." 

"  Superb  !  "  ejaculated  the  exile. 

"  Now  we  come  to  an  apparent  difficulty," 
continued  Hopkins.  "  Possession  is,  accord 
ing  to  my  authority,  five  points  of  the  law. 
The  fiend  has  possession,  and  in  consequence 
tallies  five  points ;  out  of  how  many  I  do  not 
know.  What  the  maximum  number  of  points 
in  the  law  is,  the  book  does  not  say,  but  even 
assuming  that  they  form  a  good  half,  I  think  we 
can  bring  forward  five  more  with  a  dozen  sub 
stitutes  for  each  of  the  five  in  support  of  our 
position.  Some  of  these  points  will  evolve 
themselves  when  we  come  to  consider  whence 
Barncastle's  title  was  derived. 

"  Did  he  acquire  his  title  by  descent  ?  No  ; 
unless  it  was  by  a  descent  to  unworthy  tricks 
which,  I  fear,  are  outside  of  the  meaning  of  the 
law.  By  purchase  ?  If  so,  let  him  show  a  receipt. 
By  occupancy  ?  Yes,  and  by  a  forcible  occupancy 
which  was  as  justifiable  as  his  occupation  of 
the  throne  would  be,  an  occupancy  which  can  be 
shown  in  court  to  be  an  entire  subversion  of  the 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    177 

right  of  a  prior  occupant  whose  title  was 
acquired  by  inheritance." 

"  That's  a  stong  point,"  said  the  exile. 

"  Yes,  it  is,"  said  Hopkins,  "  especially  in  a 
country  where  birth  means  so  much.  But  that 
isn't  all  we  have  to  say  on  this  question  of  title. 
A  title  can  be  held  by  prescription.  Barncastle 
may  claim  that  he  got  his  this  way,  but  we 
can  meet  that  by  showing  that  he  compounded 
his  own  prescription,  and  originally  got  you  to 
swallow  it  by  a  trick.  He  also  has  a  title  by 
alienation,  and  there  I  think  we  may  be  weak 
since  you  were  a  party  to  the  final  alienation, 
though  we  may  be  able  to  pull  through  on  even 
that  point  by  showing  that  you  consented  only 
in  the  expectation  of  an  early  return  of  the 
premises.  It  was  an  alienation  by  deed,  an 
innocent  deed  on  your  part,  an  infamous  one 
on  his.  It  was  not  an  alienation  of  record, 
which  weakens  his  claim,  but  one  of  special 
custom,  which  by  no  means  weakens  yours. 

"  And  so,  Edward,  we  might  go  on  through 
the  whole  subject  of  the  right  of  property,  and 
on  every  point  we  are  strong,  and  on  few  can 
Barncastle  of  Burningford  put  in  the  semblance 
of  a  defence." 

"  It's  simply  glorious,"  said  the  exile.  "  I 
don't  believe  there  ever  was  a  case  like  it." 

"  I  don't  believe  so  either,"  said  Toppleton. 

N 


178  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  And  on  the  whole  I'm  glad  there  never  was. 
I  should  hate  to  think  that  a  crime  like  this 
could  ever  become  a  common  one. 

"  Now,"  he  said,  resuming  the  discussion  of 
the  legal  aspect  of  the  exile's  case,  "let  us 
see  what  we  can  find  under  the  head  of '  Private 
and  Public  Wrongs  and  their  Remedies  ! '  I 
suppose  yours  would  come  under  the  head  of  a 
civil  wrong,  though  your  treatment  has  been 
very  far  from  civil.  As  such  your  redress  lies 
in  the  Courts.  You  are  forbidden  to  take  back 
what  has  been  taken  from  you  by  a  force  which 
amounts  to  a  breach  of  the  peace, — that  is,  it 
would  not  be  lawful  for  you  to  seize  your  own 
body  and  shake  the  life  out  of  it  for  the  purpose 
of  yourself  becoming  once  more  its  animating 
spirit. 

"  First  we  must  decide,  *  What  is  the  wrong 
that  has  been  put  upon  you  ? '  Well,  it's 
almost  any  crime  you  can  think  of.  He  has  dis 
possessed  you  of  that  which  is  yours.  He  has 
ousted  you  from  your  freehold.  He  has  been 
guilty  of  trespass.  He  has  subjected  you  to  a 
nuisance,  that  is  if  it  is  a  nuisance  to  be  deprived 
of  one's  body,  and  I  should  think  it  would  so 
appear  to  any  sane  person.  He  has.'-: been 
guilty  of  subtraction.  He  has  subtracted,  you 
from  your  body  and  your  body  from  you,  leav 
ing  apparently  no  remainder.  He  has  .been 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    179 

guilty  of  an  offence  against  your  religion.  To 
an  extent  he  has  committed  an  offence  against 
the  public  health  in  that  he  has  haunted 
citizens  of  this  city  and  caused  you  unwittingly 
to  do  the  same  to  the  detriment  of  the  sanity 
of  those  who  have  been  haunted.  I  think  we 
might  even  charge  him  with  homicide,  for  if 
depriving  a  man  of  thirty  years  of  his  corporeal 
existence  isn't  depriving  him  of  life,  I  don't 
know  what  is.  However  this  may  be,  I  am 
convinced  that  he  is  guilty  of  mayhem,  for  he 
certainly  has  deprived  you  of  a  limb — that  is 
shown  by  your  utter  absence  of  limb.  He  has 
been  guilty  of  an  offence  against  your  habita 
tion,  corporeal  and  incorporeal,  and  finally  he 
has.  been,  guilty  of  larceny  both  grand  and  petty. 
Grand  in  the  extent  of  it,  petty  in  the  method. 
By  Jove,  Chatford,  if  we  could  bring  you  into 
Court  as  a  concrete  individual,  and  not  as  an 
abstract  entity,  we  could  get  up  an  indictment 
against  Lord  Barncastle  of  Burningford  that 
would  quash  him  for  ever. 

"A  body  obtained  for  you,  I  should  carry 
the  case  to  the  Appellate  Court  at  once,  for  two 
reasons..  First; because  it  would  not  be  appro 
priate  to  try  so  uncommon  a.  cause-  in  the_ 
Common  Pleas,. second  because  a. :  decision  by- 
the  Court  of  Appeals  is  final,  and  we  should 
save  tirne,,by  going  there. at  once  ;  but  the  point 

N    2 


i8o 

with  which  we  must  concern  ourselves  the  most 
is,  how  shall  we  bring  you  before  the  eyes  of 
the  court ;  how  shall  we  get  our  plaintiff  into 
shape — visible  shape  ?  " 

A  painful  silence  followed  the  conclusion  of 
Toppleton's  discussion  of  the  law  in  the  case 
of  Chatford  v.  Barncastle  of  Burningford.  It 
was  evident  that  the  exile  could  think  of  no 
means  of  surmounting  the  unfortunate  barrier 
to  a  successful  prosecution  of  the  case.  Finally 
the  exile  spoke  : 

"  I  perceive  the  dreadful  truth  of  what  you 
say.  Having  no  physical  being,  I  have  no 
standing  in  court." 

"That's the  unfortunate  fact,"  returned  Hop- 
kins.  "  Can't  you  get  a  body  in  some  way  ? 
Can't  you  borrow  one  temporarily  ?  " 

"  Where  ?  "  asked  the  exile.  "  You  are  my 
only  material  friend.  You  wouldn't  lend  me 
yours." 

"  No,  I  wouldn't,"  said  Toppleton.  .  "  If  I 
did,  where  would  your  only  material  friend  be  ? 
It's  hopeless,  Edward  ;  and  now  that  I  think  of 
it,  even  if  you  did  get  a  form  and  should  go 
to  court,  where  are  your  witnesses  ?  You  could 
only  assert,  and  Barncastle  could  always  deny. 
Strong  as  your  cause  is,  the  courts,  under  the 
circumstances,  will  give  you  no  redress,  because 
you  cannot  prove  your  case.  We  must  seek 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAV/.    l8l 

other  means  ;  this  is  a  case  that  requires  diplo 
matic  action.  Strategy  will  do  more  for  us 
than  law,  and  I  think  I  have  a  scheme." 

"  Which  is  ?  " 

"  I  will  go  to  Lord  Barncastle,  and  by  means 
of  a  little  clever  dissembling  will  frighten  him 
into  doing  the  right  thing  by  you.  I  realize 
what  a  tremendous  undertaking  it  is,  but 
failure  then  would  not  mean  public  disgrace, 
and  failure  in  the  courts  would  put  us,  and 
particularly  myself,  under  a  cloud.  In  short, 
we  might  be  suspected  of  blackmail,  Chatford ; 
Barncastle  is  so  prominent,  and  liable  to  just 
such  attacks  at  all  times." 

"  But  how  do  you  propose  to  reach  him  ? 
He  has  the  reputation  now  of  being  the 
haughtiest  and  most  unapproachable  member 
of  the  aristocracy." 

"  Oh,  dear  !  "  laughed  Hopkins.  "  You  don't 
understand  Americans.  Why,  Chatford,  we  can 
push  ourselves  in  anywhere.  If  you  were  a 
being  like  myself,  and  had  ten  pounds  to  bet,  I 
would  wager  you  that  within  forty-eight  hours  I 
could  have  an  invitation  in  autograph  from  the 
Prince  of  Wales  himself  to  dine  with  him  and 
Prince  Battenburg  at  Sandringham,  at  any 
hour,  and  on  any  day  I  choose  to  set.  You 
don't  know  what  enterprising  fellows  we 
Yankees  are.  I'll  know  Lord  Barncastle  inti- 


182  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

mately  inside  of  one  month,  if  I  once  set  out 
to  do  it." 

"  Excuse  me  for  saying  it,  Hopkins,"  said  the 
exile,  sadly,  "  but  I  must  say  that  what  I  have 
liked  about  you  in  the  past  has  been  your 
freedom  from  bluster  and  brag.  To  me  these 
statements  of  yours  sound  vain  and  empty.  I 
would  speak  less  plainly  were  it  not  that  my 
whole  future  is  in  your  hands,  and  I  do  not 
want  you  to  imperil  my  chances  by  rashness. 
Tell  me  how  you  propose  to  meet  Barncastle, 
and,  having  met  him,  what  you  propose  to  do,  if 
you  do  not  wish  me  to  set  this  talk  down  as 
foolish  braggadocio." 

"  I'll  tell  you  how  I  propose  to  meet  him," 
said  Hopkins,  slightly  offended,  and  yet  charac 
teristically  forgiving ;  "  but  what  I  shall  do  after 
that  I  shall  not  tell  you,  for  I  may  find  that  he 
is  a  politer  person  than  you  are,  and  it's  just 
possible  that  I  shall  like  him.  If  I  do,  I  may 
be  impelled  to  desert  you  and  ally  myself  with 
him.  I  don't  like  to  be  called  a  braggart, 
Edward." 

"  Forgive  me,  Hopkins,"  said  the  spirit.  "  I 
am  so  wrought  up  by  my  hopes  and  fears, 
by  the  consciousness  of  the  terrible  wrongs  I 
have  suffered,  that  I  hardly  know  what  [I  am 
saying." 

"  Well,    never     mind,"    rejoined    Hopkins. 


TOPPLETON  CONSULTS  THE  LAW.    183 

"  Don't  worry.  The  chances  of  my  deserting  you 
are  very  slight.  But" to  return  to  your  question. 
I  shall  meet  Barncastle  in  this  way ;  I  shall 
have  a  sonnet  written  in  his  praise  by  an  inti 
mate  friend  of  mine,  a  poet  of  very  high  stand 
ing  and  little  morality,  which  I  shall  sign 
with  my  own  name,  and  have  printed  as  though 
it  were  a  clipping  from  some  periodical.  This 
clipping  I  will  send  to  Lord  Barncastle  with  a 
note  telling  him  that  I  am  an  American  admirer 
of  his  genius,  the  author  of  the  sonnet,  and 
have  but  one  ambition,  which  I  travelled  from 
America  to  gratify — to  meet  him  face  to  face." 

"  Aha  !  "  said  the  spirit.  "  An  appeal  to  his 
vanity,  eh  ?  " 

"  Precisely,"  said  Toppleton.  "  It  works 
every  time." 

"  And  when  you  meet  him  ?  " 

"  We  shall  see,"  rejoined  Toppleton.  "  I  have 
given  up  brag  and  bluster ;  but  if  Lord  Barn 
castle  of  Burningford  does  not  take  an  interest 
in  Hopkins  Toppleton  after  he  has  known  him 
fifteen  minutes,  I'll  go  back  home  to  New  York, 
give  up  my  law  practice  and  become — " 

"What?"  said  the  spirit  as  Hopkins 
hesitated. 

"  A  sister  of  charity,"  said  Hopkins,  gravely. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

TOPPLETON   MAKES   A  FAIR   START. 

A  FEW  weeks  later  Toppleton  was  able  to 
report  progress  to  his  invisible  client.  He  had 
the  sonnet  to  Barncastle  of  Burningford  and 
was  much  pleased  with  it,  because,  in  spite  of 
the  fact  that  it  was  two  lines  too  long,  he  was 
confident  that  it  would  prove  .very  fetching  to 
the  man  to  whom  it  was  addressed. 

"  You  ought  to  take  out  those  two  extra 
lines,  though,"  said  the  exile.  "  Barncastle  is 
a  great  stickler  for  form,  and  he  will  be  antago 
nized  at  once  by  your  violation  of  the  rules." 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it,"  returned  Toppleton. 
"  Those  lines  stay  right  there,  and  I'll  tell  you 
why.  In  the  first  place  Barncastle,  as  an 
Englishman,  will  see  in  the  imperfect  sonnet 
something  that  will  strike  him  as  a  bit  of 
American  audacity,  which  will  be  very  pleasing 
to  him,  and  will  give  him  something  to  talk 


TOPPLETON    MAKES  A   FAIR   START.       185 

about.  As  a  Briton  you  are  probably  aware 
that  your  countrymen  are  very  fond  of  dis 
covering  outrages  of  that  sort  in  the  work  of 
those  over  the  sea,  because  it  is  a  sort  of  con 
vincing  proof  that  the  American  as  a  writer  is 
still  an  inferior,  and  that  England's  controlling 
interest  in  the  Temple  of  Immortality  is  in  no 
danger  of  passing  into  alien  hands.  In  the 
second  place,  he  will  be  so  pleased  with  the 
extra  amount  of  flattery  that  is  crammed  into 
those  two  lines  that  he  will  not  have  the  heart 
to  criticize  them ;  and  thirdly,  as  one  who  knows 
it  all,  he  will  be  prompted  to  send  for  me  to 
come  to  him,  in  order  that  he  may  point  out  to 
me  in  a  friendly  spirit  one  or  two  little  imper 
fections  in  what  he  will  call  my  otherwise 
exquisite  verse.  I  tell  you  what  it  is,  Edward," 
said  Toppleton,  pausing  a  moment,  "  I  never 
devoted  myself  with  any  particular  assiduity  to 
Latin,  Greek,  or  mathematics,  but  when  it 
comes  to  human  nature,  I  am,  as  we  New 
Yorkers  say,  a  daisy,  which  means  that  I  am 
the  flower  upon  which  you  may  safely  bet  as 
against  the  field." 

"  You  certainly  have  an  ingenious  mind, 
Hopkins,"  returned  the  exile,  "and  I  hope  it 
will  all  go  as  you  say,  but  I  fear,  Hopkins,  I 
fear." 

"Wait    and   see,"   was   Hopkins'   confident 


186  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

reply,  and  being  unable  to  do  otherwise  the 
exile  obeyed. 

In  three  days  the  sonnet  was  printed,  and  so 
fixed  that  it  appeared  to  be  a  clipping  from  the 
Rocky  Mountain  Quarterly  Review r,  a  Monthly 
Magazine. 

"  That'll  strike  him  as  another  interesting 
Americanism,"  said  Hopkins,  with  a  chuckle. 
"  There  is  no  people  on  earth  but  my  own 
who  would  dare  publish  a  quarterly  twelve  times 
a  year." 

To  the  sonnet  was  appended  the  name 
"  Hopkins  Parkerberry  Toppleton  ;  "  Parker- 
berry  being  a  novelty  introduced  into  the 
signature  by  the  young  lawyer,  not  because  he 
was  at  all  entitled  to  it,  but  for  the  proper 
reason,  as  he  said,  that  no  American  poet  was 
worth  a  nickel  who  hadn't  three  sections  to  his 
name.  A  note  with  a  distinctly  western  flavour 
to  it  was  penned,  and  with  the  "  decoy  "  sonnet 
went  that  night  to  Burningford  Castle  addressed 
to  "  His  Excellency,  Lord  Barncastle,"  and 
then  Toppleton  and  the  exile  sat  down  to  await 
the  result. 

They  had  not  many  days  to  wait,  for  within 
a  week  of  the  dispatch  of  the  poem  and  the 
note  Hopkins,  on  reaching  the  office  one  morn 
ing,  found  the  exile  in  a  great  state  of  excite 
ment  over  a  square  envelope  lying  on  the  floor 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A    FAIR   START.        187 

immediately  under  the  letter  slot  Hopkins  had 
had  made  in  the  door. 

"  It's  come,  Hopkins,  it's  come  !  "  cried  the 
exile. 

"  What's  come  ?  "  queried  Hopkins,  calmly. 

"  The  letter  from  Barncastle.  I  recognize 
my  handwriting.  It  came  last  night  about  five 
minutes  after  you  left  the  office,  and  I  have  been 
in  a  fever  of  excitement  to  learn  its  contents 
ever  since.  Do  open  it  at  once.  What  does 
he  say  ?  " 

"  Be  patient,  Edward,  don't  get  so  excited. 
Suppose  you  were  to  have  an  apoplectic 
stroke  !  " 

"  I  can't  be  patient,  and  I  can't  have  apoplexy, 
so  do  hurry.  What  do  I  say  ?  " 

"  Seems  to  me,"  returned  Hopkins,  picking 
up  the  letter  and  slowly  opening  it,  "  it  seems 
to  me*you  are  getting  confused.  But  let's  see  ; 
what  does  Barncastle  say  ?  H'm  !  "  he  said, 
reading  the  note.  " '  Barncastle  Hall,  Fen- 
wick  Morton,  Mascottonton-on-the-Barbundle, 
December  igth,  189 — .  Hopkins  Parkerberry 
Toppleton,  Esquire,  17,  Temple,  London. 
Dear  Sir, — I  have  to  thank  you  for  your  favour 
and  enclosure  of  the  I3th  inst.  Your  sonnet  is 
but  one  of  a  thousand  gratifying  evidences  I 
am  daily  receiving  that  I  have  managed  to  win 
to  no  inconsiderable  degree  the  good  will  of 


i88  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

your  countrymen.  It  is  also  evidence  to  me 
that  you  are  a  young  man  of  much  talent  in  the 
line  of  original  versification,  since,  apart  from 
the  sentiment  you  express,  your  sonnet  is  one 
of  the  most  original  I  have  ever  seen,  not  only 
for  its  length,  but  also  for  the  wonderful  mixture 
of  your  metaphor.  It  is  truly  characteristic  of 
your  great  and  growing  country,  and  I  cannot 
resist  your  naive  appeal  to  be  permitted  to 
meet  the  unworthy  object  of  its  praise.  I 
should  be  gratified  to  have  you  to  dinner  at 
Barncastle  Hall,  at  eight  o'clock  on  the  evening 
of  December  23rd,  189 — .  Kindly  inform  me  by 
return  post  if  your  engagements  will  permit  us 
to  have  the  pleasure  of  having  you  with  us  on 
that  evening.  Believe  me  to  be,  with  senti- 
timents  of  regard,  ever,  my  dear  sir,  faithfully 
yours,  BARNCASTLE.'  ' 

"  By  heavens ! "  ejaculated  the  exile,  in 
delighted  accents,  "  you've  got  there,  Hop 
kins,  you've  got  there.  You'll  go,  of  course  ?  " 

"Well,  rather,"  returned  Toppleton ;  "and 
to  carry  out  the  illusion,  as  well  as  to  pique  his 
interest  in  America,  I'll  wear  a  blue  dress  coat. 
But  first  let  me  reply." 

"Dear  Barncastle,"  he  wrote.  "I'll  be 
there.  Yours  for  keeps, — TOPPLETON." 

"  How's  that  ?  "  he  asked,  reading  it  aloud 
to  -the  exile. 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   FAIR  START.       l8g 

"  You're  not  going  to  send  that,  are  you  ?  " 
said  the  exile  in  disgust. 

"  I'm  not,  eh  ?  Well  just  you  watch  me  and 
see,"  said  Toppleton.  "Why,  Edward,  that 
will  be  the  biggest  coup  of  the  lot.  He  will 
get  that  letter,  and  he  will  be  amused  by  it,  and 
the  more  he  thinks  of  it  the  more  he'll  like  it, 
and  then  he'll  say  to  himself,  *  why,  this  man 
is  a  character ; '  and  then  do  you  know  what 
will  happen,  Chatford  ?  " 

"  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  do,"  growled  the  exile. 

"  Well,  I'll  tell  you.  He  will  invite  all  the 
high  panjandrums  he  knows  to  that  dinner  to 
meet  me,  and  he  will  tell  them  that  I  am  an 
original,  and  they'll  all  come,  Chatford,  just  as 
they  would  flock  to  see  a  seven-humped  camel 
or  a  dwarf  eight  feet  high,  and  then  I  will  have 
Lord  Barncastle  of  Burningford  just  where  I 
want  him.  I  could  browbeat  him  for  weeks 
alone  and  never  frighten  him,  but  once  I  let  him 
know  that  I  know  his  secret,  in  the  presence  of 
his  wife  and  a  brilliant  company,  he  will  be 
apprehensive,  and,  if  I  mistake  not,  will  be  more 
or  less  within  my  reach." 

"  Lady  Barncastle  is  no  longer  living,'1  said 
the  exile.  His  household  is  presided  over  by 
his  daughter." 

"Very well,"  said  Hopkins.  "We'll  dazzle 
the  daughter  too." 


igo  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"Is  this  the  way  American  lawyers  do 
business  generally  ?  "  sneered  the  exile. 

"No,"  returned  Toppleton  ;  "there  is 
probably  not  another  American  lawyer  who 
would  take  a  case  like  yours.  That's  the  one 
respect  in  which  they  resemble  your  English 
lawyers,  but  I'll  tell  you  one  thing.  When 
they  start  in  to  do  a  thing  they  do  it,  unless 
their  clients  get  too  fresh,  and  then  they  stop 
in  medias  res" 

"  I  hope  there  is  nothing  personal  in  your 
remarks,  Hopkins,"  said  the  exile,  uneasily. 

"That  all. depends  on  you,"  retorted  Hop 
kins.  "  Despite  your  croakings  and  fears,  the 
first  step  we  have  taken  has  proven  justifiable. 
We  have  accomplished  what  we  set  out  to 
accomplish.  I  am  invited  to  meet  the  fiend. 
Score  one  point  for  us.  Now,  when  I  advance 
a  proposition  for  the  scoring  of  a  second  point, 
you  sneer.  Well,  sneer.  I'll  win  the  case  for 
you,  just  to  spite  you.  This  despised  note 
posted  to  Barncastle,  I  shall  order  a  blue  dress 
coat  with  brass  buttons  on  it.  I  shall  pur 
chase,  if  it  is  to  be  found  in  London,  one  of 
those  beaver  hats  on  which  the  fur  is  knee 
deep,  a  red  necktie, .  and  a  diamond  stud.  .  My 
trousers  I  shall  have  cut  to  fit  the  trontour  of 
my  calves, .like  a  glove.  I  shall  sport  the 
largest  silver  watch  to  be  found  op  the,  Strand, 


TOPPLETON   MAKES   A   FAIR   START.        IQI 

with  a  gold  chain  heavy  enough  to  sustain  a 
weight  of  five  hundred  pounds ;  in  short, 
Chatford,  you  won't  be  able  to  distinguish  me 
from  one  of  Teniel's  caricatures  of  Uncle 
Sam." 

"  You  won't  be  able  to  deceive  Barncastle 
that  way.  He's  seen  New  Yorkers  before." 

"  Barncastle  doesn't  know  I'm  a  New 
Yorker,  and  he  won't  find  it  out.  He  thinks 
I'm  from  the  Rocky  Mountains,  and  he  knows 
enough  about  geography  to  be  aware  that  the 
Rocky  Mountains  aren't  within  two  hours'  walk 
of  Manhattan  Island.  He  knows  that  there  is 
a  vast  difference  between  a  London  gentleman 
and  a  son  of  the  soil  of  Yorkshire,  and  he 
doesn't  know  but  what  there  are  a  million 
citizens  of  our  great  republic  who  go  about 
dressed  up  in  fantastic  garments  similar  to 
those  I  shall  wear  to  his  dinner.  If  he  is  sur 
prised,  his  surprise  will  add  to  his  interest,  and 
materially  contribute  to  the  pleasure  of  those 
whom  he  invites  to  see  the  animal  the  un 
tamed  poet  of  the  Rockies.  See  ?  " 

."Yes,  I  see,"  said  the  exile.  "But  clothes 
won't  make  the  illusion  complete.  You  look. 
too  much  like  aVgentleman  ;  your. manners  are 
too ;  polished.  .  A-  man  like  Barncastle  will  see 
through  you  in  a  minute." 
„  : ':V  Again;, -Cha.tfo.rd,  I. am  sorry  that  yaur.pps- 


192  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

sessions  are  nil,  for  I  would  like  to  wa^er  you 
that  your  noble  other  self  will  do  nothing  of 
the  sort.  I  have  not  been  an  amateur  actor  for 
nothing,  and  as  for  manners  I  can  be  as  bad 
mannered  as  any  nabob  in  creation  if  I  try. 
Don't  you  worry  on  that  score." 

The  acceptance  of  Lord  Barncastle's  invita 
tion  was  therefore  sent  as  Hopkins  wrote  it, 
and  the  ensuing  days  were  passed  by  the 
young  lawyer  in  preparing  the  extraordinary 
dinner  suit  he  had  described  to  his  anxious 
client,  who  could  hardly  be  persuaded  that  in 
taking  this  step  Toppleton  was  not  committing 
a  bit  of  egregious  folly.  He  could  not  com 
prehend  how  Barncastle  upon  receipt  of 
Hopkins'  note  could  be  anything  but  displeased 
at  the  familiarity  of  its  tone.  The  idea  of  a 
common  untitled  mortal  like  Toppleton  even 
assuming  to  be  upon  familiar  terms  with  a 
member  of  the  aristocracy,  and  especially  one 
so  high  as  Barncastle  of  Burningford,  op 
pressed  him.  He  would  as  soon  expect  an 
ordinary  tradesman  to  slap  the  Prince  of 
Wales  on  the  back,  and  call  him  by  one  of  his 
first  names,  without  giving  offence,  as  that 
Barncastle  should  tolerate  Toppleton's  be 
haviour,  and  he  in  consequence  was  fearful  of 
the  outcome. 

Toppleton,  on  the  other  hand,  went  ahead 


TOPPLETON    MAKES  A   FAIR   START.        IQ3 

with  his  extraordinary  sartorial  preparations, 
serenely  confident  that  the  events  of  the  next 
few  days  would  justify  his  course.  The  exile 
was  relieved  to  find  that  the  plan  was  of 
necessity  modified,  owing  to  Toppleton's  in 
ability  to  find  a  typical  Uncle  Sam  beaver  in 
London ;  but  his  relief  was  short-lived,  for 
Hopkins  immediately  proceeded  to  remedy 
this  defect  by  purchasing  a  green  cotton 
umbrella,  which,  he  said,  was  perhaps  better 
than  the  hat  as  an  evidence  of  eccentricity. 

*'  If  I  cling  to  that  umbrella  all  through 
dinner,  Chatford,"  said  Toppleton,  with  a 
twinkle  in  his  eye,  "  preferring  rather  to  part 
with  life,  honour,  or  virtue  than  lose  sight  of  it, 
I  will  simply  make  an  impression  upon  the 
minds  of  that  assembled  multitude  that  they'll 
not  forget  in  a  hurry." 

"They'll  think  as  I  do,"  sighed  the  exile. 
"  They'll  think  you  are  a  craz — " 

"  What  ?  "  asked  Toppleton,  sharply. 

"  They'll  think  you  are  a  genius,"  returned 
the  exile  humbly  and  quickly  too,  fearing  lest 
Toppleton  should  take  offence.  "  Have  you — 
er — have  you  considered  what  Barncastle's 
servants  will  think  of  this  strange  performance  ? 
They  won't  let  you  into  the  house,  in  the  first 
place,"  he  added,  to  cover  his  retreat. 

"  I  shall  be  admitted  to  the  house  by  Barn- 

o 


iQ4  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

castle  himself ;  for  I  prophesy  that  his  curiosity 
to  meet  this  Rocky  Mountain  poet  will  be  so 
great  that  he  will  be  at  the  railway  station  to 
greet  me  in  person.  Besides,"  continued 
Toppleton,  "why  should  I  care  what  his 
servants  think?  I  never  had  nor  ever  knew 
any  one  who  had  a  servant  whose  thoughts  were 
worth  thinking.  A  servant  who  can  think 
becomes  in  my  country  a  servant  of  the  people, 
not  the  lackey  of  the  individual.  Furthermore,  I 
am  after  high  game,  and  servants  form  no  part 
of  my  plan.  They  are  not  in  it.  When  I  go  out 
on  a  lion  hunt  I  don't  bother  my  head  about  or 
waste  my  ammunition  upon  beasts  of  burden. 
I  am  loaded  to  the  muzzle  for  the  purpose  of 
bringing  down  Barncastle.  If  he  can't  be 
brought  down  without  the  humbling  of  his 
butler,  why,  then,  his  butler  must  bite  the  dust. 
If  I  become  an  object  of  suspicion  to  the 
flunkies,  I  shall  not  concern  myself  about  it 
unless  they  become  unpleasant,  and  if  they 
become  unpleasant  I  shall  corrupt  them.  I'll 
buy  every  flunkey  in  the  house,  if  it  costs  a  five- 
pound  note." 

"  Well,  go  your  own  gait,"  said  the  exile,  not 
much  impressed  by  Toppleton's  discourse.  "  If 
you  are  not  clapped  into  a  lunatic  asylum,  I 
shall  begin  to  believe  that  the  age  of  miracles  is 
still  extant ;  not  that  /think  you  crazy,  Hopkins, 


TOPPLETON    MAKES  A  FAIR  START.       IQ5 

but  these  others  do  not  know  you  as  well  as  I 
do.  For  my  part,  I  think  that  by  going  to 
Barncastle's  as  your  own  handsome,  frank, 
open-hearted  self,  you  will  accomplish  more 
than  you  will  in  this  masquerade." 

"Your  flattery  saves  your  cause,"  said 
Hopkins.  "  I  cannot  be  indignant,  as  I  ought, 
with  a  man  who  calls  me  handsome,  frank,  and 
open-hearted,  but  you  must  remember  this  :  in 
spite  of  your  long  absence  from  your  body,  you 
retain  all  the  commonplace  weakness  of  your 
quondam  individuality.  You  would  have  me 
do  the  commonplace  thing  you  yourself  would 
have  done  thirty  years  ago.  If  there  is  a 
common,  ordinary,  uninteresting  individual  in 
the  world,  it  is  the  handsome,  frank,  and  open- 
hearted  man.  You  find  him  everywhere — in 
hut  and  in  palace,  in  village,  town,  and  city. 
He  is  the  man  who  goes  through  life  unobserved, 
who  gets  his  name  in  the  paper  three  times  in 
his  lifetime,  and  always  at  somebody  else's 
expense.  Once  when  he  is  born,  once  when  he 
marries,  and  once  when  he  dies,  and  it  is  a  paid 
advertisement,  not  an  earned  one,  each  time. 
The  first  is  paid  for  by  his  parents,  the  second 
by  his  father-in-law,  the  third  by  his  executors. 
People  like  him  well  enough,  but  no  one  ever 
cares  enough  about  him  to  hate  him.  His  con 
versation  ranges  from  babies — if  he  has  any 
o  2 


196  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

himself — through  the  weather  to  politics. 
Beyond  these  subjects  he  has  nothing  to  say, 
and  he  rarely  dines  out,  save  with  the  parson, 
the  candidate,  or  the  man  who  wants  to  get 
the  best  of  him  in  a  business  transaction.  He 
is  an  idol  at  home,  a  zero  abroad.  Nobody  is 
interested  in  him,  and  he  would  as  likely  be 
found  dining  with  the  Khedive  of  Egypt  as  with 
Lord  Barncastle,  and  I'll  wager  that,  even  if  he 
should  in  some  mysterious  manner  receive  an 
invitation  to  lend  his  gracious  presence  to  the 
Barncastle  board,  he  would  be  as  little  in 
evidence  as  an  object  of  interest  as  the  scullery- 
maid.  Were  I  to  accept  your  advice,  Chatford, 
Barncastle's  guests  would  be  bored,  Barncastle 
himself  would  be  disappointed,  and  your  chance 
of  ever  becoming  the  animating  spirit  of  your 
own  body  would  correspondingly  diminish. 
Only  by  a  bold  stroke  is  success  to  be  obtained. 
The  means  I  am  about  adopting  are  revolting 
to  me  as  a  man  of  taste,  but  for  the  sake  of  our 
cause  I  am  willing  to  stifle  my  natural  desire  to 
appear  as  a  gentleman,  to  sink  my  true  indivi 
duality,  and  to  go  as  a  freak." 

"  But  why  do  you  think  you  will  succeed, 
Hopkins?  Even  granting  that  you  make  a 
first-class  freak,  has  it  really  ever  happened 
that  idiocy — I  say  idiocy  here  not  to  imply  that 
I  think  you  are  an  idiot,  understand  me — has  it 


TOPPLETON   MAKES  A   FAIR   START.        IQ7 

ever  happened  that  a  freak  succeeds  with  us 
where  that  better,  truer  standard  which  is  repre 
sented  by  you  as  you  really  are  has  failed  ?  " 

"  Not  exactly  that  way,"  replied  Hopkins. 
"  But  this  has  happened.  Your  Englishmen 
have  flocked  by  the  tens  of  thousands  to  see, 
and  have  been  interested  by  an  American  Wild 
West  show,  where  tens  of  hundreds  have 
straggled  in  to  witness  the  thoughtful 
Shakespearian  productions  of  our  most  in 
tellectual  tragedians.  Barncastle  can  have  a 
refined,  quiet,  gentlemanly  appearing  person 
at  his  table  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  times 
a  year.  He  can  get  what  I  am  going  to  give 
him  but  once  in  a  lifetime,  so  say  no  more 
about  it.  I  am  set  in  my  determination  to 
stand  or  fall  in  the  manner  I  have  indicated." 

"All  right,"  said  the  exile.  "  I've  nothing 
more  to  say ;  but  there's  one  thing  mighty  cer 
tain.  I'm  going  with  you.  I  want  to  witness 
your  triumph." 

"  Very  well,"  said  Toppleton.  "  Come  along. 
But  if  you  do,  leave  that  infernal  whistle  of 
yours  home,  or  there'll  be  trouble." 

"  I'm  hardly  anything  else  but  a  whistle.  I 
can't  help  whistling,  you  know." 

"Then  there  are  only  two  things  to  be  done. 
You!  must  either  get  yourself  set  to  the  tune 
of  Yankee  Doodle,  or  stay  right  here.  I'm  not 


198  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

going  to  have  my  plans  upset  by  any  such  buoy 
like  tootle-toot  as  you  are  when  you  get 
excited." 

"  Perhaps,  on  the  whole,  I'd  better  stay 
home." 

"  I  think  you  had,"  said  Toppleton.  "  You 
would  be  sure  to  whistle  before  we  were  out  of 
the  woods." 

Hopkins  and  his  invisible  client  had  hardly 
finished  this  interview  when  the  tailor's  boy 
arrived,  bringing  with  him  the  fantastic  gar 
ments  Hopkins  had  ordered,  and  almost  simul 
taneously  there  came  a  second  letter  from 
Barncastle  of  Burningford,  which  set  many  of 
the  exile's  fears  at  rest,  and  gave  Toppleton 
good  reason  to  believe  that  for  the  first  part  of 
his  plan  all  was  plain  sailing.  Barncastle's 
note  was  very  short,  but  it  was  a  welcome  one, 
for  it  acknowledged  the  receipt  of  Toppleton's 
"  characteristically  American  acceptance  to 
dine,"  and  closed  with  an  expression  of  Barn- 
castle's  hope  that  Hopkins  would  become  one 
of  his  guests  for  the  Christmas  holidays  at  the 
Hall. 

"  See,  there  !  "  said  Hopkins,  triumphantly. 
"  That  is  the  way  my  plans  work." 

"  You  are  a  Napoleon !  "  ejaculated  the 
exile. 

"Not  quite,"  returned  Hopkins,  drily.     "I 


TOPPLETON   MAKES   A   FAIR   START.       IQQ 

won't  have  any  Waterloo  in   mine ;   but  say, 
Edward,  let's  try  on  our  Uncle  Sam's." 

"  Let's  !  "  echoed  the  exile.  "  I  am  anxious 
to  see  how  we  look." 

"  There  !"  said  Toppleton,  ten  minutes  later, 
as  he  grasped  the  green  cotton  umbrella,  and 
arrayed  in  the  blue  dress  coat  and  red  tie  and 
other  peculiar  features  of  the  costume  he  had 
adopted,  stood  awaiting  the  verdict  of  the 
exile. 

"  You  look  it,  Toppleton  ;  but  I  think  there  is 
one  thing  missing.  Where  is  your  chin 
whisker  ?  " 

"  By  Jove  !  "  ejaculated  Hopkins,  with  a  ges 
ture  of  impatience.  "  How  could  I  forget  that  ? 
And  it's  too  late  now,  for  if  there  is  one  thing 
a  Yankee  can't  do,  Chatford,  it  is  to  force  a 
goatee  inside  of  forty-eight  hours.  I'll  have  to 
cook  up  some  explanation  for  that — lost  it  in 
an  Indian  fight  in  Fairmount  Park,  Philadel 
phia,  or  some  equally  plausible  theory,  eh  ?  " 

"  I  think  that  might  work,"  said  the  exile,  in 
an  acquiescent  mood  since  the  receipt  of  Barn- 
castle's  second  note. 

"  I  thought  you  would,"  returned  Hopkins. 
"  The  little  detail  that  there  aren't  any  Indians 
in  Fairmount  Park,  Philadelphia,  doesn't  affect 
the  result,  of  course.  But  tell  me,  Chatford,  how 
do  I  look?" 


200  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Like  the  very  devil !  "  answered  the  exile 
with  enthusiasm. 

"  Good,"  said  Toppleton.  "  If  I  look  like 
him  I've  got  Barncastle  down,  for  if  the  devil  is 
not  his  twin  brother,  he  is  his  master.  In 
either  event  I  shall  be  a  persona  grata  at  the 
court  of  Barncastle  of  Burningford." 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

AT   BARNCASTLE   HALL. 

TOPPLETON'S  surmises  as  to  Barncastle's 
method  of  receiving  him  appeared  to  be  correct, 
for  upon  his  arrival,  green  umbrella  and  carpet 
bag  in  hand,  at  the  Fenwick  Merton  station  he 
was  met  by  no  less  a  person  than  his  host 
himself,  who  recognized  him  at  once. 

"  I  knew  it  was  you,"  said  Barncastle,  as  he 
held  out  his  hand  to  grasp  Toppleton's.  "  I 
knew  it  was  you  as  soon  as  I  saw  you.  Your 
carpet  bag,  and  the  fact  that  'you  are  the  only 
person  on  the  train  who  travelled  first  class, 
were  the  infallible  signs  which  guided  me." 

"  And  I  knew  you,  Barncastle,  the  minute  I 
saw  you,"  said  Hopkins,  returning  the  compli 
ment,  "  because  you  looked  less  like  a  lord 
than  any  man  on  the  platform.  How  goes  it, 
anyhow?  " 

The  Englishman's  countenance  wore  a 
puzzled  expression  as  Toppleton  put  the 
question. 


202  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  How  goes  it  ?  "  he  repeated  slowly.  "  How 
goes  what  ?  The  train  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,"  laughed  Hopkins.  "  How  goes  it 
is  Rocky  Mountain  for  how's  things,  all  your 
family  well,  and  your  creditors  easy  ?  " 

"  Ah !  I  see,"  said  Barncastle  with  a  smile. 
"  All  is  well  with  us,  thank  you.  My  daughter 
is  awaiting  your  coming  with  very  great 
interest ;  and  as  for  my  creditors,  my  dear  sir, 
I  am  really  uncertain  as  to  whether  I  have 
any.  My  steward  can  tell  you  better  than  I 
how  they  feel." 

"  It's  a  great  custom,  ain't  it  ?  "  said  Hopkins 
with  enthusiasm,  "that  of  being  dunned  by 
proxy,  eh  ?  I  wish  we  could  work  it  out  my 
way.  If  you  don't  ante  up  right  off  out  in  the 
Mountains,  your  grocer  comes  around  and 
collects  at  the  point  of  his  gun,  and  if  you  pay 
him  in  promises,  he  gives  you  back  your  change 
in  lead." 

"  Fancy !  "  said  Barncastle.  "  How  un 
pleasant  it  must  be  for  the  poor." 

"  Poor !  "  laughed  Toppleton ;  "  there's  none 
of  them  in  the  Rockies.  You  don't  get  a 
chance  to  get  poor  in  a  country  where  boys 
throw  nuggets  at  birds,  and  cats  are  removed 
from  back-yard  fences  with  silver  boot-jacks. 
Ever  been  in  the  Rockies,  Barncastle  ?  " 

"  No,"  returned  the  lord,  "  I  have  not,  but 


AT   BARNCASTLE    HALL.  203 

if  all  you  say  is  true,  I  should  like  to  visit  that 
section  very  much." 

"  True,  Barncastle  ?  "  said  Toppleton,  bris 
tling  up.  "  Why,  my  dear  lord,  that  if  of  yours 
would  have  dug  your  grave  out  near  Pike's 
Peak." 

"  I  meant  no  offence,  my  dear  fellow," 
returned  Barncastle,  apologetically. 

"  No  need  to  tell  me  that,"  said  Toppleton, 
affably.  "The  fact  that  you  still  survive 
shows  I  knew  it.  What  time  is  dinner  ?  I'm 
ravenous." 

"  Eight  o'clock,"  replied  Lord  Barncastle, 
looking  at  his  watch.  "  It  is  now  only 
three." 

"  Phew  !  "  ejaculated  Toppleton.  "  Five 
hours  to  wait !  " 

"  I  thought  we  might  take  a  little  drive 
around  the  country  until  six,  and  then  we  could 
return  to  the  Hall  and  make  ready  for  dinner," 
said  Barncastle. 

"That  suits  me,"  returned  Toppleton. 
"  But  I  wish  you'd  send  that  gentleman  with 
the  mutton-chop  whiskers  that  drives  your 
waggon  to  the  lunch  counter  and  get  me  a 
snack  before  we  start." 

"  No,"  said  Barncastle,  ushering  Toppleton 
into  his  dog-cart.  We'll  do  better  than  that. 
We'll  give  up  the  drive  until  later.  I  take  you 


204  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

directly  to  the  Hall,  and  send  a  cold  bird  and 
a  glass  of  wine  to  your  apartment." 

"  Good  !  "  ejaculated  Toppleton,  with  a  smack 
of  the  lips.  "  You  must  live  pretty  near  as  fine 
here  as  we  do  in  our  big  hotels  at  home. 
They're  the  only  other  places  I  know  where 
you  can  get  your  appetite  satisfied  at  five 
minutes'  notice." 

Toppleton  and  his  host  then  entered  the 
carriage,  and  in  a  short  time  they  reached  the 
Hall — a  magnificently  substantial  structure, 
with  ivy-clad  towers,  great  gables,  large  arched 
windows  looking  out  upon  seductive  vistas, 
and  an  air  of  comfortable  antiquity  about  it 
that  moved  Hopkins'  tongue  to  an  utterance 
somewhat  at  variance  with  his  assumed 
character. 

"  How  beautiful  and  quiet  it  all  is,"  he  said, 
gazing  about  him  in  undisguised  admiration. 
"  A  home  like  this,  my  lord,  ought  to  make  a 
poet  of  a  man.  The  very  air  is  an  inspira 
tion." 

Barncastle  shrugged  his  shoulders  and 
laughed ;  and  had  Toppleton  not  been  looking 
in  rapt  silence  out  through  the  large  bowed 
window  at  the  end  of  the  hall  they  had  entered, 
along  an  avenue  of  substantial  oak  trees  to  the 
silver  waters  of  the  Barbundle  at  its  other  end, 
he  might  have  seen  a  strange  greenish  light 


AT   BARNCASTLE    HALL.  205 

come  into  the  eyes  of  his  host,  which  would 
have  worried  him  not  a  little.  He  did  not  see 
it,  however,  and  in  a  moment  he  remembered 
his  mission  and  the  means  he  had  adopted  to 
bring  it  to  a  successful  issue. 

"  It  beats  the  deck !  "  he  ejaculated,  with  a 
nervous  glance  at  Barncastle,  fearful  lest  his 
enthusiasm  had  led  him  to  betray  himself. 

"  I  find  it  a  pleasant  home,"  said  Barncastle, 
quietly,  ushering  him  into  a  spacious  and 
extremely  comfortable  room  which  Toppleton 
perceived  in  a  moment  was  the  library,  at  the 
other  end  of  which  was  a  large  open  fireplace, 
large  enough  to  accommodate  a  small  family, 
within  whose  capacious  depths  three  or  four 
huge  logs  were  blazing  fiercely.  Before  the  fire 
sat  a  stately  young  woman,  about  twenty-five 
years  of  age,  who  rose  as  the  Lord  of  Burning- 
ford  and  his  guest  entered. 

As  she  approached  Toppleton  would  have 
given  all  he  possessed  to  be  rid  of  the  abomi 
nable  costume  he  had  on  ;  and  when  the  young 
heiress  of  Burningford's  eye  rested  upon  the 
fearfully  green  cotton  umbrella,  he  felt  as  if 
nothing  would  so  have  pleased  his  soul  as  the 
casting  of  that  adjunct  to  an  alleged  American 
ism  into  the  fire  ;  for  Lady  Alice  was,  if  he 
could  judge  from  appearances,  a  woman  for 
whose  good  opinion  any  man  might  be  willing 


2o6  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

to  sacrifice  immortality  itself.  But  circum 
stances  would  not  permit  him  to  falter,  and, 
despite  the  fact  that  it  hurt  his  self-respect  to 
do  it,  Hopkins  remained  true  to  the  object  he 
had  in  view. 

"  Alice,  this  is  Mr.  Toppleton.  My  daughter, 
Lady  Alice  Chatford,  Mr.  Toppleton,"  said 
Barncastle. 

"  Howdy,"  said  Hopkins,  making  an 
awkward  bow  to  Lady  Alice.  "  She  don't 
need  her  title  to  show  she's  a  lady,"  he  added, 
turning  to  Barncastle,  who  seemingly  ac 
quiesced  in  all  that  he  said. 

"  My  friend  Toppleton,  my  dear,"  said  Barn 
castle,  "  has  paid  me  the  compliment  of  travel 
ling  all  the  way  from  his  home  in  the  Rocky 
Mountains  in  the  United  States  to  see  me.  He 
is  the  author  of  that  wonderful  sonnet  I  showed 
you  the  other  night." 

"  Yes,  I  remember,"  said  Lady  Alice,  with  a 
gracious  smile,  which  won  Toppleton's  heart 
completely,  "it  was  delightful.  Lord  Barn 
castle  and  I  are  great  admirers  of  your  genius, 
Mr.  Toppleton,  and  we  sincerely  hope  that  we 
shall  be  able  to  make  your  stay  with  us  here  as 
pleasant  for  you  as  it  is  for  us." 

Again  Hopkins  would  have  disappeared 
through  the  floor  had  he  been  able  to  act  upon 
the  promptings  of  his  own  good  taste.  It  made 


AT   BARNCASTLE   HALL.  207 

him  feel  unutterably  small  to  think  that  he  had 
come  here,  under  the  guise  of  an  uncultivated, 
boorish  clod  with  poetical  tendencies,  to  work 
the  overthrow  of  the  genius  of  the  house. 

"  Thank  you,"  he  said,  his  voice  husky  with 
emotion.  "  I  had  not  expected  so  cordial  a 
reception.  In  fact,"  he  added,  remembering 
his  true  position,  "  I  had  a  bet  of  ten  to  one 
with  a  friend  of  mine  who  is  doing  the  Lakes 
this  afternoon  that  I'd  get  frozen  stiff  by  a 
glance  of  your  ladyship's  eye.  I'm  mighty  glad 
I've  lost  the  bet." 

"  He  has  some  courtliness  beneath  his  un 
polished  exterior,"  said  Lady  Alice  later,  when 
recounting  the  first  interview  between  them  to 
some  of  her  friends.  "  I  quite  forgave  his 
boorishness  when  he  said  he  was  glad  to  lose 
his  wager." 

"  Now,  Mr.  Toppleton,"  said  his  host,  "  if 
you  care  to  go  to  your  apartment  I  will  see  that 
you  get  what  you  want.  Just  leave  your 
umbrella  in  the  coat  room,  and  let  Parker  take 
your  bag  up  to  your  room/' 

"  Thanks,  Barncastle,  old  fellow,"  said  the 
Rocky  Mountain  poet,  "  I'll  go  to  my  room 
gladly  ;  but  as  for  leaving  that  umbrella  out  of 
my  sight,  or  transferring  the  handle  of  that 
carpet  bag  to  any  other  hand  than  my  own,  I 
can't  do  it.  They're  my  treasures,  my  lady," 


2o8  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

he  added,  turning  to  Lady  Alice.  "  That  bag 
and  I  have  been  inseparable  companions  for 
eight  consecutive  years,  and  as  for  the  umbrella 
we  haven't  been  parted  for  five.  It's  my  pro 
tector  and  friend,  and  since  it  saved  my  life  in 
a  shooting  scrape  at  the  Papyrus  Club  dinner 
in  Denver,  I  haven't  wanted  to  let  it  get  away 
from  me." 

"  How  odd  he  is,"  said  Lady  Alice  a  moment 
later  to  her  father,  Toppleton  having  gone  to 
his  room.  "  Are  you  sure  he  is  not  an  im 
postor  ?  " 

"  No,  I'm  not,"  returned  Barncastle  with  a 
strange  smile ;  "  but  I  know  he  is  not  a  thief. 
I  fancy  he  is  amusing,  and  I  believe  he  will  be 
a  valuable  acquisition  to  my  circle  of  acquaint 
ances.  Have  you  heard  from  the  Duchess  of 
Bangletop?" 

"  Yes,  she  will  be  here.  I  told  her  you  had  a 
real  American  this  time — not  an  imitation  Eng 
lishman — a  poet,  and,  as  far  as  we  could  judge, 
a  character  who  would  surely  become  a  worthy 
addition  to  her  collection  of  oddities  ;  a  match, 
in  fact,  for  her  German  worshipper  of  Napoleon 
and  that  other  strange  freak  of  nature  she  had 
at  her  last  reception,  the  young  Illinois  widow 
who  whistled  the  score  of  Parsifal." 

"  The  duchess  must  have  been  pleased,"  said 
Barncastle  with  a  laugh.  "  This  Toppleton 


AT   BARNCASTLE    HALL.  20Q 

will  prove  a  perfect  godsend  to  her,  for  she  has 
absolutely  nothing  that  is  bizarre  for  her  next 
reception." 

Toppleton,  upstairs  in  a  magnificently  ap 
pointed  chamber,  from  the  windows  of  which 
were  to  be  seen  the  most  superb  distances  that 
he  had  ever  imagined,  was  a  prey  alternately  to 
misery  and  to  joy.  He  felicitated  himself  upon 
the  apparent  success  of  his  plan,  while  bemoan 
ing  his  unhappy  lot  in  having  to  keep  his  true 
self  under  in  a  society  he  felt  himself  capable  of 
adorning,  and  to  enter  which  he  had  always 
aspired. 

"  It's  too  late  to  back  out  now,  though,"  he 
said.  "  If  I  were  to  strike  my  colours  at  this 
stage  of  the  battle,  I  should  deserve  to  be  put 
in  a  cask  and  thrown  into  the  Barbundle  yon 
der.  When  I  look  about  me  and  see  all  these 
magnificent  acres,  when  I  observe  the  sump 
tuous  furnishing  of  this  superb  mansion,  when 
I  see  unequalled  treasures  of  art  scattered  in 
profusion  about  this  castle,  and  then  think  of 
that  poor  devil  of  a  Chatford  roaming  about 
the  world  without  a  piece  of  bric-a-brac  to  his 
name,  or  an  acre,  or  a  house,  or  bed,  or  chair, 
or  table,  of  any  kind,  without  even  a  body,  it 
makes  me  mad.  Here  his  body,  the  inferior 
part  of  man,  the  purely  mortal  section  of  his 
being,  is  living  in  affluence,  while  his  immortal 

P 


210  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

soul  is  a  very  tramp,  an  outcast,  a  wanderer  on 
the  face  of  the  earth.  Barncastle,  Barncastle, 
you  are  indeed  a  villain  of  the  deepest — " 

Here  Toppleton  paused,  and  looked  appre 
hensively  about  him.  He  seemed  to  be  con 
scious  of  an  eye  resting  upon  him.  A  chill 
seized  upon  his  heart,  and  his  breath  came  short 
and  quick  as  it  had  done  but  once  before  when 
his  invisible  client  first  betrayed  his  presence  in 
No.  17. 

"  I  wonder  if  this  is  one  of  those  beastly 
castles  with  secret  doors  in  the  wainscot  and 
peep-holes  in  the  pictures,"  he  said  nervously 
to  himself.  "  It  would  be  just  like  Barncastle 
to  have  that  sort  of  a  house,  and  of  course 
nothing  would  please  him  better  than  to  try  a 
haunted  chamber  on  me.  The  conjunction  of  a 
ghost  and  a  Rocky  Mountain  poet  would  be 
great,  but  after  my  experience  with  Chatford, 
I  don't  believe  there  is  a  ghost  in  all  creation 
that  could  frighten  me.  Nevertheless,  I  don't 
like  being  gazed  at  by  an  unseen  eye.  I'll  have 
to  investigate." 

Then  Toppleton  investigated.  He  mounted 
chairs  and  tables  to  gaze  into  the  stolid,  un 
responsive  oil-painted  faces  of  somebody's 
ancestry,  he  knew  not  whose.  Not  Barncastle's, 
he  was  sure,  for  Barncastle  was  an  upstart. 
Nothing  wrong  could  be  found  there.  The 


AT  BARNCASTLE   HALL.  211 

eyes  were  absolutely  proof  against  peeping 
Toms.  Then  he  rolled  the  heavy  bureau  and 
several  antique  chests  away  from  the  massive 
oak  wainscoting  that  ran  about  the  room,  eight 
feet  in  height  and  superbly  carved.  He  tapped 
every  panel  with  his  knuckles,  and  found  them 
all  solid  as  a  rock. 

"  No  secret  door  in  that,"  he  said ;  and  then 
for  a  second  time  he  experienced  that  nervous 
sensation  which  comes  to  him  who  feels  that 
he  is  watched,  and  as  the  sensation  grew  more 
and  more  intense  and  terrifying,  an  idea  flashed 
across  Toppleton's  mind  which  heightened  his 
anxiety. 

"  By  Jove  !  "  he  said  ;  "  I  wonder  if  I  am 
going  mad.  Can  it  be  that  Chatford  is  an 
illusion,  a  fanciful  creation  of  a  weak  mind  ? 
Am  I  become  a  prey  to  hallucinations,  and  if 
so,  am  I  not  in  grave  danger  of  my  personal 
liberty  here  if  Barncastle  should  discover  my 
weakness  ?  " 

It  was  rather  strange,  indeed,  that  this  had 
not  occurred  to  Hopkins  before.  It  was  the 
natural  explanation  of  his  curious  experience, 
and  the  sudden  thought  that  he  had  foolishly 
lent  himself  to  the  impulses  of  a  phantasm,  and 
was  carrying  on  a  campaign  of  destruction 
against  one  of  the  world's  most  illustrious  men, 
based  solely  upon  a  figment  of  a  diseased 
P  3 


212  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

imagination,  was  prostrating.  He  staggered  to 
the  side  of  a  large  tapestried  easy-chair,  and 
limp  with  fear,  toppled  over  its  broad  arm  into 
its  capacious  depths  an  almost  nerveless  mass 
of  flesh  and  bones.  He  would  have  given  worlds 
to  be  back  in  the  land  of  the  midnight  sun,  in 
New  York,  in  London,  anywhere  but  here  in 
the  house  of  Barncastle  of  Burningford,  and  he 
resolved  then  and  there  that  he  would  return 
to  London  the  first  thing  in  the  morning,  place 
himself  in  the  hands  of  a  competent  physician, 
and  trifle  with  the  creations  of  his  fancy  no 
more. 

A  prey  to  these  disquieting  reflections, 
Toppleton  lay  in  the  chair  for  at  least  an  hour. 
The  last  rays  of  a  setting  sun  trembled  through 
the  leaves  of  the  tree  that  shaded  the  western 
side  of  the  room,  and  darkness  fell  over  all ; 
and  with  the  darkness  there  came  into 
Toppleton's  life  an  experience  that  scattered 
his  fears  of  a  moment  since  to  the  winds,  and 
so  tried  and  exercised  his  courage,  that  that 
fast  fading  quality  gained  a  renewed  strength 
for  the  fearful  battle  with  a  supernatural  foe,  in 
which  he  had,  out  of  his  goodness  of  heart, 
undertaken  to  engage. 

A  clock  in  the  hall  outside  began  to  strike 
the  hour  of  six  in  deep  measured  tones,  that  to 
Toppleton  in  his  agitated  state  of  mind  was 


AT  BARNCASTLE   HALL.  213 

uncomfortably  suggestive  of  the  bell  in 
Coleridge's  line  that  "  Knells  us  back  to  a 
world  of  death."  At  the  last  stroke  of  the 
•hammer  the  tone  seemed  to  become  discordant, 
and  in  a  frenzy  of  nervous  despair  Toppleton 
opened  his  eyes  and  sprang  to  his  feet.  As  he 
did  so,  his  whole  being  became  palpitant  with 
terror,  for  staring  at  him  out  of  the  darkness  he 
perceived  a  small  orb-like  something  whose  hue 
was  that  of  an  emerald  in  combustion.  He 
clapped  his  hands  over  his  eyes  for  a  moment, 
but  that  phosphorescent  gleam  penetrated  them, 
and  then  he  perceived  that  it  was  not  an  eye 
that  rested  upon  him,  but  a  ray  of  light  shining 
through  a  small  hole  that  had  escaped  his 
searching  glance  in  the  wainscoting.  The 
relief  of  this  discovery  was  so  great  that  it  gave 
him  courage  to  investigate,  and  stepping  lightly 
across  the  room,  noiseless  as  a  particle  of  dust, 
he  climbed  upon  a  chair  and  peeped  through 
the  aperture,  though  it  nearly  blinded  him  to  do 
so.  To  shade  his  eyes  from  the  blinding  light, 
he  again  covered  them  with  his  hand,  and  again 
observed  that  its  intensity  was  sufficient  to 
pierce  through  the  obstruction  and  dazzle  his 
vision.  The  hand  so  softened  the  light,  how 
ever,  that  he  could  see  what  there  was  on  the 
other  side  of  the  wall,  though  it  was  far  from 
being  a  pretty  sight  that  met  his  gaze. 


214  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

What  he  saw  was  a  small  oblong  room  in 
which  there  was  no  window,  and,  at  first  glance, 
no  means  of  entrance  or  exit.  It  was  high- 
ceiled  like  the  room  in  which  he  stood,  and, 
with  the  exception  of  a  narrow  couch  covered 
with  a  black  velvet  robe,  with  a  small  pillow  of 
the  same  material  at  the  far  end,  the  room  was 
bare  of  furniture.  There  was  no  fire,  no  fixture 
of  any  kind,  lamp  or  otherwise,  from  which 
illumination  could  come,  and  yet  the  room  was 
brilliant  with  that  same  green  light  that  Chatford 
had  described  to  Hopkins  at  his  office  in  the 
Temple.  So  dazzling  was  it,  that  for  a  moment 
Hopkins  had  difficulty  in  ascertaining  just 
what  there  was  in  the  apartment,  but  as  he 
looked  he  became  conscious  of  forms  which 
grew  more  and  more  distinct  as  his  eye  accus 
tomed  itself  to  the  light.  On  the  couch  in  a 
moment  appeared,  rigid  as  in  death,  the  body 
of  Barncastle ;  the  eyes  lustreless  and  staring, 
the  hands  characterless  and  bluish  even  in  the 
green  light,  the  cheeks  sunken  and  the  massive 
forehead  white  and  cold  as  marble.  The  sight 
chilled  Toppleton  to  the  marrow,  and  he  averted 
his  eyes  from  the  horrible  spectacle  only  to  see 
one  even  more  dreadful,  for  on  the  other  side  of 
the  apartment,  grinning  fiendishly,  the  source  of 
the  wonderful  light  that  flooded  the  room,  he 
now  perceived  the  fiend,  making  ready  to 


AT   BARNCASTLE    HALL.  215 

assume  once  more  the  habiliments  of  mortality. 
He  was  stirring  a  potion,  and,  as  Hopkins 
watched  him,  he  began  to  whistle  a  combina 
tion  of  discords  that  went  through  Toppleton's 
ears  like  a  knife. 

The  watcher  became  sick  at  heart.  This 
was  the  frightful  thing  he  had  to  cope  with ! 
So  frightful  was  it  that  he  tried  to  remove  his 
eye  from  the  peep-hole,  and  seek  again  the  easy 
chair,  when  to  his  horror  he  found  that  he 
could  not  move.  If  his  eye  had  in  reality  been 
glued  to  the  aperture,  he  would  not  have  found 
it  more  firmly  fixed  than  it  was  at  present.  As 
he  struggled  to  get  away  from  the  vision  that 
was  every  moment  being  burned  more  and 
more  indelibly  into  his  mind,  the  fiend's 
fearful  mirth  increased,  at  the  close  of  one  of 
the  paroxysms  of  which  he  lifted  the  cup  in 
which  the  potion  had  been  mixed  to  his  lips, 
and  quaffed  its  contents  to  the  very  dregs.  As 
the  last  drop  trickled  down  the  fiend's  throat, 
Hopkins  was  startled  further  to  see  the  light 
growing  dim,  and  then  he  noticed  that  the 
fiend  was  rapidly  decreasing  in  size,  shrinking 
slowly  from  a  huge  spectral  presence  into  a 
hardly  visible  ball  of  green  fire  which  rolled 
across  the  apartment  to  where  the  body  lay ; 
up  the  side  of  the  couch  to  the  pillow  ;  along 
the  pillow  to  that  marble  white  forehead;  where 


216  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

it  paused.  A  tremor  passed  through  the 
human  frame  lying  prostrate  there,  and  in  a 
moment  all  was  dark  as  night.  The  ball  of 
fire  had  disappeared  through  the  forehead,  and 
a  deep  groan  told  Toppleton  that  the  body  of 
Barncastle  was  once  more  a  living  thing  having 
the  semblance  of  humanity.  A  moment  later 
another  light  appeared  in  the  apartment  into 
which  Toppleton  still  found  himself  compelled 
to  gaze.  This  time  the  light  was  more 
natural,  for  it  was  the  soft  genial  light  of  a  lamp 
shining  through  a  sliding  panel  at  the  other 
end  of  the  room,  through  which  the  Lord  of 
Burningford  passed.  It  lasted  but  a  moment, 
for  as  the  defendant  in  this  fearful  case  of 
Chatford  v.  Burningford  passed  into  the  room 
beyond,  the  slide  flew  back  and  all  was  black 
once  more. 

With  the  departure  of  Barncastle,  Toppleton 
was  able  to  withdraw  from  his  uncomfortable 
position,  and  in  less  than  a  moment  lay  gasp 
ing  in  his  chair. 

"  It  is  too  real !  "  he  moaned  to  himself. 
"  Chatford  did  not  deceive  me.  I  am  not  the 
victim  of  hallucination.  Alas !  I  wish  I 
were." 

A  knock  at  the  door  put  an  end  to  his 
soliloquizing,  and  he  was  relieved  to  hear  it. 
Here  was  something  earthly  at  last.  He  flew 


AT   BARNCASTLE   HALL.  217 

from  his  chair  across  the  room  through  the 
darkness  to  the  door  and  threw  it  wide  open. 

"  Come  in,"  he  cried,  and  Barncastle  himself, 
still  pale  from  the  effects  of  the  ordeal  he  had 
passed  through,  entered  the  room. 

"  I  have  come  to  see  if  there  is  anything  I 
can  do  for  you,"  he  said  pleasantly,  touching 
an  electric  button  which  dissipated  the  dark 
ness  of  the  room  by  lighting  a  hundred  lamps. 
"  The  Duchess  of  Bangletop  has  arrived  and 
is  anxious  to  meet  you ;  but  you  look  worn, 
Toppleton.  You  are  not  ill,  I  hope  ?  " 

"  No,"  stammered  Toppleton,  slightly  over 
come  by  Barncastle's  coolness  and  affability, 
"  but  I — I've  been  taking  a  nap  and  I've  had 
the — the  most  horrible  dream  I  ever  had." 

"  Which  was  ?  " 

"  That  I — ah — why,  that  I  was  writing  an 
obituary  poem  on — " 

"  Me  ?  "  queried  Barncastle,  calmly. 

"  No,"  said  Toppleton.     "  On  myself." 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

THE    DINNER   AND    ITS    RESULT. 

A  HALF-HOUR  later  Toppleton  entered  the 
drawing  room  of  Barncastle  Hall,  umbrella  in 
one  hand,  carpet-bag  in  the  other ;  his  red 
necktie  arranged  grotesquely  about  his  neck, 
the  picture  of  Americanism  "  as  she  is  drawn  " 
by  British  cartoonists.  Any  other  than  a  well- 
bred  English  gathering  would  have  received  him 
with  hilarious  enthusiasm,  and  Hopkins  was 
rather  staggered  as  he  passed  through  the  door 
way  to  note  the  evident  interest,  and  yet  utter 
lack  of  surprise,  which  his  appearance  inspired 
in  those  who  had  been  bidden  to  the  feast  to 
meet  him.  He  perceived  at  once  that  he  no 
more  than  fulfilled  the  expectations  of  these 
highly  cultivated  people,  and  it  was  with  diffi 
culty  that  he  repressed  the  mirth  which  was 
madly  endeavouring  to  take  possession  of  his 
whole  system. 

The    only    portions    of    his    make-up    that 


THE   DINNER  AND   ITS   RESULT.  2IQ 

attracted  special  attention — if  he  could  judge 
from  a  whispered  comment  or  two  that  reached 
his  ears,  and  the  glances  directed  toward  them 
by  the  Duchess  of  Bangletop  and  the  daughters 
of  the  Earl  of  Whiskerberry — were  the  carpet 
bag  and  the  umbrella.  The  blue  dress  coat  and 
tight-fitting  trousers  were  taken  as  a  matter  of 
course.  The  red  necktie  and  diamond  stud 
were  assumed  to  be  the  proper  thing  in  Rocky 
Mountain  society,  but  the  bag  and  umbrella 
seemed  to  strike  the  English  mind  as  a  case  of 
Ossa  piled  upon  Pelion. 

"  Good  evening,  ladies,"  said  Hopkins  with  a 
bow  which  was  graceful  in  spite  of  his  efforts  to 
make  it  awkward.  "  I  hope  I  haven't  increased 
anybody's  appetite  uncomfortably  by  being 
late.  This  watch  of  mine  is  set  to  Rocky 
Mountain  time,  and  it's  a  little  unreliable  in 
this  climate." 

"  He's  just  the  dear  delightful  creature  I  have 
been  looking  for  for  years  and  years,"  said  the 
Duchess  of  Bangletop  to  Lady  Maude  Whisker- 
berry. 

"  So  very  American,"  said  Lady  Cholmondely 
Persimmon,  of  Persimmon  Towers — a  well- 
preserved  young  noblewoman  of  eighteen  or 
twenty  social  seasons. 

"  Duchess,"  said  Barncastle,  coming  forward, 
"  permit  me  to  present  to  you  my  friend  Hop- 


220  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

kins  Parkerberry  Toppleton,  the  Poet  Laureate 
of  the  Rocky  Mountains." 

"  Howdy  do,  Duchess,"  said  Toppleton,  drop 
ping  his  carpet-bag,  and  extending  his  hand  to 
grasp  that  of  the  Duchess. 

"  So  pleased,"  said  the  Duchess  with  a  smile 
and  an  attempt  at  hauteur,  which  was  hardly 
successful. 

"  Glad  you're  pleased,"  said  Toppleton, 
"  because  that  means  we're  both  pleased." 

"  Lady  Maude  Whiskerberry,  Mr.  Toppleton. 
Lady  Persimmon,  Mr.  Toppleton,"  said  Barn- 
castle,  resuming  the  introductions  after  Topple 
ton  had  picked  up  the  carpet-bag  again  and 
announced  his  readiness  to  meet  the  other 
ladies. 

In  a  very  short  time  Toppleton  had  been 
made  acquainted  with  all  in  the  room,  and  in 
asmuch  as  he  seemed  so  taken  with  the  Duchess 
of  Bangletop,  Lady  Alice,  who  was  a  young 
woman  of  infinite  tact,  and  not  too  rigidly 
bound  by  conventionality,  relinquished  her 
claim  to  the  guest  of  the  evening,  and  when 
dinner  was  announced,  permitted  Toppleton  to 
escort  the  Duchess  into  the  dining-room. 

"  Don't  you  think,  my  dear  Mr.  Toppleton," 
said  the  Duchess  as  the  American  offered  her  his 
arm,  "  don't  you  think  you  might — ah — leave 
your  luggage  here  ?  It's  rather  awkward  to 


THE    DINNER  AND    ITS    RESULT.  221 

carry  an  umbrella,  a  carpet-bag,  and  a  Duchess 
into  dinner  all  at  once." 

"  Nothing  is  too  awkward  for  an  American, 
Duchess,"  said  Toppleton.  "  Besides,"  he 
added  in  a  stage  whisper,  "  I  don't  dare  leave 
these  things  out  of  my  sight.  Barncastle's 
butler  looks  all  right,  but  I've  lived  in  a  country 
where  confidence  in  your  fellow-men  is  a  heaven- 
born  gift.  I  wasn't  born  with  it,  and  there 
hasn't  any  of  it  been  sent  down  since." 

"  Aren't  you  droll !  "  said  the  Duchess. 

"  If  you  say  it  I'll  bet  on  it,"  said  Toppleton, 
gallantly,  as  they  entered  the  beautiful  dining- 
room  and  took  their  allotted  chairs,  when  Hop 
kins  perceived,  much  to  his  delight,  that 
Barncastle  was  almost  the  length  of  the  table 
distant ;  that  on  one  side  of  him  was  Lady 
Alice,  and  on  the  other  the  Duchess  of  Bangle- 
top. 

"  These  two  women  are  both  an  inspiration  in 
their  way,"  he  said  to  himself.  "  Lady  Alice, 
even  if  she  loves  that  monster  of  a  father  of 
hers,  ought  to  be  rescued  from  him.  She  will 
inspire  me  with  courage,  and  this  portly 
Duchess  will  help  me  to  be  outrageous  enough 
in  my  deportment  to  satisfy  the  thirst  of  the 
most  rabidly  uninformed  Englishman  at  the 
board  for  American  unconventionally." 

"  Have  you  been  in  this  country  long  ?  "  asked 


222  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

the  Duchess,  as  Toppleton  slid  his  umbrella  and 
carpet-bag  under  his  chair,  and  prepared  to  sit 
down. 

"  Yes,  quite  a  time,"  said  Toppleton.  "  Ten 
days." 

"  Indeed.  As  long  as  that  ? "  said  the 
Duchess.  "  You  must  have  seen  a  great  deal  of 
England  in  that  time." 

"  Yes,  I  have,"  said  Hopkins.  "  I  went  out 
to  see  Shakespeare's  house  and  his  grave  and 
all  that.  That's  enough  to  last  a  lifetime  ;  but 
it  seems  to  me,  Lord  Barncastle,  you  don't 
give  Shakespeare  the  mausoleum  he  ought  to 
have.  Out  in  the  Rockies  we'd  have  had  a  pile 
set  up  over  him  so  high  that  you  could  sit  on 
top  of  it  and  talk  with  St.  Peter  without  lifting 
your  voice." 

"  You  are  an  admirer  of  Shakespeare,  then, 
Mr.  Toppleton  ?  "  said  Barncastle  with  a  look 
of  undisguised  admiration  at  Hopkins. 

"  Am  I  ?  Me  ?  Well,  I  just  guess  I  am," 
replied  Toppleton.  "  If  it  hadn't  been  for 
William  Shakespeare  of  Stratford-on-Avon, 
you'd  never  have  heard  of  Hopkins  P.  Toppleton, 
of  Blue-bird  Gulch." 

"  How  poetic  !  Blue-bird  Gulch,"  simpered 
Lady  Persimmon. 

"  He  was  your  inspiration,  Mr.  Toppleton  ?  " 
suggested  Lady  Alice  with  a  gracious  smile. 


THE    DINNER  AND    ITS   RESULT.  223 

"That's  what  he  was,"  said  Toppleton.  "I 
might  say  he's  my  library.  There's  three 
volumes  in  my  library  all  told.  One's  a  fine 
thick  book  containing  the  total  works  of  the 
bard  of  Avon ;  another  is  a  complete  con 
cordance  of  the  works  of  the  same  author ;  and 
the  third  is  the  complete  works  of  Hopkins 
Parkerberry  Toppleton,  consisting  of  eighty- 
three  poems,  a  table  of  contents,  and  a  portrait 
in  three  colours  of  the  author.  I'd  be  glad  to 
give  you  all  a  copy,  ladies,  but  it's  circulated  by 
subscription  only." 

"  I  should  so  like  to  see  the  book,"  said  Lady 
Maude  Whiskerberry. 

"  I'd  be  mighty  proud  to  show  it  to  you," 
said  Toppleton,  "  and  if  you  and  your  father 
here,  the  earl,  ever  pass  my  way  out  there  in 
the  Rockies,  just  look  me  up  and  you  shall  see 
it.  But  Shakespeare  was  my  guiding  genius, 
Duchess.  When  I  began  to  get  those  tired 
feelings  that  show  a  man  he's  either  a  poet  or 
a  victim  to  malaria,  I  began  to  look  about  and 
see  who  I'd  better  take  as  a  model.  I  dawdled 
around  for  a  year,  reading  some  of  Milton's 
things,  but  they  didn't  take  me  under  the 
eighth  rib,  which  with  me  is  the  rib  of  apprecia 
tion,  so  I  bought  a  book  called  '  Household 
Poetry,'  and  I  made  up  my  mind  that  Shake 
speare,  taking  him  altogether,  was  my  poet. 


224  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

He  was  a  little  old-fangled  in  some  things,  but 
in  the  main  he  seemed  to  strike  home,  and  I 
sent  word  to  our  bookseller  to  get  me  every 
thing  he  wrote,  and  to  count  on  me  to  take 
anything  new"  of  his  that  happened  to  be  com 
ing  out." 

"  Not  a  costly  matter  that !  "  said  the  Earl 
of  Whiskerberry  with  the  suggestion  of  a  sneer. 
He  did  not  quite  approve  of  this  original. 

"  No,  my  dear  Earl,"  replied  Toppleton. 
"  For  you  know  Shakespeare  is  dead — though 
I  didn't  know  it  at  the  time,  either.  But  I  got 
the  book,  and  I  tell  you  it  made  a  new  man  of 
me.  '  Here  '  I  said,  '  is  my  model.  I'll  be  like 
him,  and  if  I  succeed,  H.  P.  T.'s  name  will 
be  known  for  miles  around.'  And  it  was  so. 
It  was  not  a  year  before  I  had  a  poem 
of  600  lines  printed  in  our  county  paper,  and 
there  wasn't  a  word  in  it  that  wasn't  Shake 
spearean.  I  took  good  care  of  that,  for 
when  I  had  the  poem  written,  I  bought  the 
concordance,  and  when  I  found  that  I  had 
used  a  word  that  was  not  in  the  concordance,  I 
took  it  out  and  used  another  that  was." 

"  That's  a  very  original  idea,  and,  I  think,  a 
good  one,"  said  Lady  Alice.  "  You  are  abso 
lutely  sure  of  your  English  if  you  do  that ;  but 
wasn't  it  laborious,  Mr.  Toppleton  ?  " 

"  It  was  at  first,  miss,  but  as  I  went  along, 


THE   DINNER  AND  ITS   RESULT.  225 

and  began  to  use  words  over  again  it  got  easier 
and  easier,  and  for  the  last  fifteen  pages  of  the 
poem  I  hardly  had  to  look  up  on  an  average 
more  than  six  words  to  a  page." 

"  But  poetry,"  put  in  Barncastle,  half  closing 
his  eyes  and  gazing  steadfastly  at  Hopkins  as 
he  did  so,  "  poetry  is  more  than  verbiage.  Did 
you  become  a  student  of  nature  ?  " 

As  Barncastle  spoke,  Toppleton's  nerve 
weakened  slightly,  for  it  was  the  very  question 
he  had  desired  to  have  asked.  It  brought  him 
to  the  point  where  his  winning  stroke  was 
possible,  and  to  feel  that  he  was  on  the  verge 
of  the  struggle  was  somewhat  disquieting. 
His  uneasiness  was  short-lived,  for  in  a  moment 
when  he  realized  how  eminently  successful  had 
been  his  every  step  so  far,  how  everything  had 
transpired  even  as  he  had  foreseen  it  would,  he 
gained  confidence  in  himself  and  in  his  course. 

"  I  did,  Barncastle ;  particularly  a  student  of 
human  nature.  I  studied  man.  I  endeavoured 
to  learn  what  quality  in  man  it  was  that  made 
him  great  and  what  quality  made  him  weak.  I 
became  an  expert  in  a  great  many  osophies  and 
ologies  that  had  never  been  heard  of  in  the 
Rocky  Mountains  before,"  answered  Toppleton, 
forgetting  his  assumed  character  under  the 
excitement  of  the  moment  and  speaking,  flushed 
of  face,  with  more  vehemence  than  the  occa- 


226  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

sion  seemed  to  warrant.  "  And  I  venture  to 
assert,  sir,  that  there  is  no  physiognomy  in  all 
creation  that  I  cannot  read,  save  possibly 
yours  which  baffles  me.  I  read  much  in  your 
face  that  I  would  rather  not  see  there." 

Barncastle  flushed.  The  ladies  toyed  ner 
vously  with  their  fans.  Lady  Alice  appeared 
slightly  perturbed,  and  Hopkins  grew  pale.  The 
Duchess  of  Bangletop  alone  was  unmoved. 
Toppleton's  heat  was  hardly  what  was  expected 
on  an  occasion  of  this  sort,  but  the  duchess  had 
made  up  her  mind  not  to  marvel  at  anything 
the  guest  of  the  evening  might  do,  and  she 
regarded  his  vehemence  as  quite  pardonable 
inasmuch  as  it  must  be  characteristic  of  an  un 
adulterated  Americanism. 

"  Fancy  !  "  she  said.  "  Do  you  mean  to  say, 
Mr.  Toppleton,  that  you  can  tell  by  a  face  what 
sort  of  a  life  one  has  led ;  what  his  or  her 
character  has  been,  is,  and  is  to  be  ?  " 

"  I  do,  Duchess,"  returned  Toppleton. 
"  Though  for  your  comfort  as  well  as  for  that 
of  others  at  this  table,  let  me  add  that  I  in 
variably  keep  what  I  see  religiously  to  myself." 

The  humour  of  this  rejoinder  and  the 
laughter  which  followed  it  cleared  the  atmo 
sphere  somewhat,  but  from  the  gravity  of  his 
host  and  the  tense  way  in  which  Barncastle's 
eye  was  fastened  upon  him,  Hopkins  knew 


THE   DINNER  AND   ITS    RESULT.  227 

that   his    shaft   as  to   the  baffling  qualities  of 
Barncastle's  face  had  struck  home. 

"  You  interest  me,"  said  the  Earl,  when  the 
mirth  of  his  guests  had  subsided.  "  I  too 
have  studied  physiognomy,  but  I  never 
observed  that  there  was  anything  baffling 
about  my  own.  I  am  really  quite  interested 
to  know  why  you  find  it  so." 

"  Because,"  said  Toppleton  nervously  yet 
firmly,  "because  your  face  is  not  consistent 
with  your  record.  Because  you  have  achieved 
more  than  one  could  possibly  read  in  or 
predict  from  your  face." 

"  I  always  said  that  myself,  Barncastle,"  said 
the  duchess  airily.  "I've  always  said  you 
didn't  look  like  a  great  man." 

"  While  acknowledging,  Duchess,  that  I 
nevertheless  am  ?  "  queried  Barncastle  with  a 
smile. 

"Well,  moderately  so,  Barncastle,  mode 
rately  so.  Fact  is,"  said  the  Duchess,  "you 
can  stir  a  multitude  with  your  eloquence  ;  you 
can  write  a  novel  that  so  will  absorb  a  school-girl 
that  she  can't  take  her  eyes  from  its  early 
pages  to  look  into  the  back  of  the  book  and  see 
how  it  is  all  going  to  turn  out ;  you  can  talk  a 
hostile  parliament  into  doing  violence  to  its 
secret  convictions ;  but  in  some  respects  you 
are  wanting.  You  are  an  atrocious  horse-back 
Q  2 


228  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

rider,  you  never  take  a  run  with  the  hounds, 
and  I  must  say  I  have  seen  times  when  you 
seemed  to  me  to  be  literally  too  big  for  yourself." 

"  By  Jove  !  "  thought  Toppleton.  "  What  a 
clever  fellow  I  am  !  If  this  duchess  is  so  com 
petent  a  reader  of  character  as  her  estimate  of 
Barncastle  shows  her  to  be,  it's  a  marvel  she 
hasn't  found  me  out." 

Barncastle  laughed  with  a  seeming  heartiness 
at  the  duchess's  remark,  though  to  Toppleton, 
who  was  now  watching  him  closely,  he  paled 
slightly. 

"  One  of  us  is  more  than  he  expected,  and 
two  of  us  simply  shock  him,"  said  Hopkins  to 
himself. 

"  Of  course,  Mr.  Toppleton,"  said  Barn 
castle,  "  in  view  of  my  perfect  willingness  to 
have  you  do  so,  you  can  have  no  hesitation  in 
telling  me  what  you  read  in  my  face.  Eh  ?  " 

"  I  have  not,"  said  Toppleton,  gulping  down 
a  glass  of  wine  to  gain  a  little  time  as  well  as 
to  stimulate  his  nerves.  He  had  not  expected 
to  be  so  boldly  met  by  his  host.  "  I  hava  not ; 
but  truly,  my  dear  Barncastle,  I'd  rather  not, 
for  it's  a  mighty  poor  verdict  that  the  lines  of 
your  face  return  for  you,  and  inasmuch  as  that 
verdict  is  utterly  opposed  to  your  record,  it 
seems  hardly  worth — 

"  Oh,  do  tell   it  us,  Mr.  Toppleton,"  put  in 


THE    DINNER  AND   ITS   RESULT.  22Q 

Lady  Alice.  "  It  will  be  the  more  interesting 
coming  from  one  who  has  so  admired  my 
father  that  he  has  travelled  thousand  of  miles 
to  see  him.  Do  go  on." 

Hopkins  blushed,  hesitated  a  minute  and 
then  began. 

"  Very  well,"  he  said,  "  let  it  be  as  you  say. 
My  lord,"  he  added,  looking  Barncastle  straight 
in  the  eye,  "  if  I  were  to  judge  you  by  the 
lines  of  your  face,  I  should  say  that  your 
character  was  essentially  a  weak  one.  That 
you  possessed  no  single  attribute  of  greatness. 
That  your  whole  life  was  given  over  to  an  almost 
criminal  tendency  to  avoid  responsibility ;  to 
be  found  wanting  at  crises  ;  to  a  desire,  almost 
a  genius  I  might  say,  for  meeting  your  troubles 
in  a  half-hearted,  compromising  spirit  which 
should  have  resulted  in  placing  you  in  the 
ranks  of  the  mediocre.  The  lines  of  your  head 
are  singularly  slight  for  one  of  your  years. 
There  is  hardly  a  furrow  on  your  brow ;  on 
the  contrary  your  flesh  is  so  tightly  drawn  over 
your  skull,  that  it  would  seem  to  suggest  the 
presence  in  that  skull  of  a  brain  too  far  deve 
loped  for  its  prison  ;  in  other  words  your  brain 
is  as  badly  accommodated  by  your  skull,  I 
should  judge,  as  a  man  of  majestic  proportions 
would  be  in  the  best  Sunday  suit  of  a  little 
Lord  Fauntleroy." 


230  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  You  are  giving  me  a  fine  idea  of  my  per 
sonal  appearance,  my  dear  Toppleton,"  said 
Lord  Barncastle,  pouring  a  tablespoonful  of 
wine  into  a  small  glass  into  which,  if  his 
guests  had  been  watching  his  hands  closely, 
they  might  have  seen  him  place  a  small  white 
powder. 

"The  strange  part  of  it  is  that  it  is  true, 
Barncastle,"  said  the  duchess.  "  I've  thought 
pretty  much  the  same  thing  many  a  time." 

"Anything  more,  Toppleton?"  queried 
Barncastle. 

"  Yes,  one  thing,  my  lord,"  said  Hopkins, 
nerving  himself  up  to  the  final  stroke.  "  The 
eyes,  one  of  our  American  poets  has  said,  are 
the  windows  of  the  soul.  Now  if  I  were  to  look 
into  your  eyes  at  your  soul,  I'd  say  to  myself, 
'  Hopkins,  my  boy,  there's  an  old  man  living  in 
a  new  house,'  for  I'll  take  my  oath  that  /  see 
the  soul  of  a  centenarian,  Lord  Barncastle,  in 
the  body  of  a  man  of  sixty  every  time  I  look 
into  your  eyes." 

Toppleton's  bold  words  had  hardly  passed  his 
lips  when  Lady  Alice,  who  was  becoming  very 
uncomfortable  because  of  the  personal  trend 
of  the  conversation,  rose  from  her  chair  and 
gave  the  signal  for  the  ladies  to  depart  into  the 
drawing-room,  leaving  Barncastle  and  his 
guests  over  their  coffee  and  cigars. 


THE   DINNER  AND   ITS   RESULT.  231 

"  What  an  extraordinary  gift  that  is  of 
yours  !  "  the  Earl  of  Whiskerberry  said  to  Top- 
pleton  as  Barncastle  walked  with  the  duchess 
as  far  as  the  drawing-room  door.  "  D'ye  know, 
my  deah  sir,  it's  truly  appalling  to  think  you 
can  do  it,  you  know,  because  there's  so  much 
that—" 

The  earl's  sentence  was  never  finished,  for  a 
heavy  fall  interrupted  him  at  this  point,  and 
Toppleton,  turning  to  see  whence  it  came,  was 
horrified  and  yet  not  altogether  displeased  to 
see  prostrate  on  the  rug,  white  and  lifeless  as  it 
had  been  in  the  room  on  the  other  side  of  the 
wainscoting  upstairs  two  hours  before,  the 
body  of  Barncastle  of  Burningford. 

"  Frightened  him  out  at  the  very  first  shot !  " 
said  Toppleton  gleefully  to  himself.  "  He  is 
easier  game  than  I  thought." 

"  I  believe  the  man  is  dead  !  "  said  the  earl, 
anxiously  putting  his  hand  over  Barncastle's 
heart,  and  standing  appalled  to  find  that  it  had 
stopped  beating. 

"No,"  said  Toppleton,  with  an  effort  at 
calmness,  "  this  is  a  case  of  trance  only — sus 
pended  animation.  He  will  revive  in  a  very 
short  time,  I  fancy.  This  sort  of  thing  is  com 
mon  among  men  of  his  peculiar  character  ;  I've 
seen  it  happen  dozens  of  times.  Have  him 
carried  to  his  room ;  tell  Lady  Alice  that  at  my 


232  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

request  he  has  started  out  to  show  me  the  Bar- 
bundle  in  the  moonlight — in  fact,  say  anything 
about  me  you  please,  only  get  up  a  plausible  pre 
text  for  Barncastle's  absence.  I  do  not  think 
his  daughter  knows  he  has  these  attacks,  and 
there  is  no  reason  why  she  should  know,  because 
they  are  not  dangerous." 

With  this  the  earl  repaired  to  the  drawing- 
room,  where  he  made  the  excuses  for  Hopkins 
and  Lord  Barncastle.  Toppleton  and  the 
butler  carried  the  prostrate  Barncastle  up  to 
his  room,  and  then  the  American,  utterly  worn 
out  with  excitement,  entered  his  own  apart 
ments  to  await  developments. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

BARNCASTLE   CONFIDES   IN   HOPKINS. 

TOPPLETON  had  not  long  to  wait.  His  nerves 
had  hardly  resumed  their  normal  condition 
when  he  heard  a  tottering  step  in  the  hall  out 
side,  followed  by  a  soft  tapping  at  the  door. 

"  Who's  there  ?  "  he  cried. 

"  It  is  I,  Toppleton — Barncastle.  Let  me. in 
and  be  quick.  I  have  something  very  important 
to  say  to  you." 

Hopkins  ran  to  the  door  and  opened  it,  and 
Barncastle  entered,  his  face  pale  and  his  general 
aspect  that  of  a  man  who  had  passed  through 
a  terrible  ordeal. 

"  By  Jove  !  I've  landed  my  man  !  "  said 
Toppleton  to  himself.  Then  he  added  aloud, 
"  My  dear  Barncastle,  you  don't  know  what  a 
turn  you  gave  me  downstairs.  I  sincerely  hope 
you  are  not  ill  ?  " 

"  I  am  ill,  Toppleton ;  ill  almost  unto  death, 
and  it  is  you  who  have  made  me  so." 

"  I  ?  "  cried  Hopkins,  with  well-feigned  sur 
prise.  "  I  don't  quite  catch  your  drift." 


234  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  Your  accursed  faculty  for  reading  charac 
ter  in  the  face,  and  searching  out  the  soul  of 
man  in  the  depths  of  his  eyes  has  made  you 
the  only  man  I  have  ever  feared.  We  must 
come  to  some  understanding  in  this  matter. 
I  want  to  know  what  your  object  is  in  coming 
here  to  expose  me  before  my  friends,  to  lay 
bare—" 

"  Object  ?  What  is  my  object  ?  "  returned 
Hopkins,  with  capital  dissemblance.  "  Why, 
my  dear  fellow,  what  object  could  I  have  ?  I 
read  your  face  and  searched  your  eyes  for  indi 
cations  of  your  character  at  your  own  request, 
and  with  your  permission  made  known  what  I 
saw  there — for  it  is  there,  Barncastle,  plain  as 
any  material  object  in  this  room." 

"  It  is  dreadful !  dreadful !  "  said  Barn- 
castle,  covering  his  eyes  with  his  hands  and 
quivering  with  emotion  and  fear.  "  I  had  no 
idea  your  power  was  so  great.  Do  you  suppose 
for  an  instant  that  had  I  known  how  unerringly 
accurate  you  are  as  a  reader  of  mind  and  face, 
that  I  would  ever  have  asked  you  to  lay  bare  to 
those  people — " 

"  Dear  me,  Barncastle,"  said  Toppleton, 
rising  and  putting  his  hand  on  the  other's 
shoulder  in  a  caressing  manner,  "  really  you 
ought  to  lie  down  and  rest.  This  thing  will  all 
pass  off  with  a  night's  sleep.  You — you  don't 


BARNCASTLE   CONFIDES   IN    HOPKINS.      235 

seem  to  be  quite  yourself  to-night.  You 
mustn't  mind  what  I  have  said." 

"  You  do  not  know,  Toppleton,  you  do  not 
know.  You  have  done  that  to-night  which  has 
shown  me  that  a  dreadful  secret  which  I  have 
carried  locked  in  my  breast  for  thirty  years, 
is  as  easily  to  be  wrested  from  me  by  you  as  my 
jewels  by  a  house-breaker." 

"  But,  my  dear  fellow/'  said  Toppleton,  his 
spirit  growing  with  pride  at  his  success  in 
bringing  down  his  game  with  so  little  effort, 
"  I — I  understand  that  this  is  only  one  of  the 
exceptions  to  the  rules  which  govern  the  mind- 
reader's  art.  I  do  not  really  believe,  of  course, 
that  what  I  seem  to  see  beneath  the  surface  is 
actually  there.  I — " 

"  Do  not  try  to  deceive  me,  Mr.  Toppleton," 
sobbed  Barncastle.  "  I,  too,  am  something  of 
a  reader  of  character,  as  I  told  you,  and  I  know 
exactly  what  you  believe  and  what  you  do  not 
believe.  Had  I  been  in  such  a  position  at 
dinner  as  would  have  permitted  me  to  look  as 
deeply  into  your  eyes  as  you  looked  into  mine, 
I  should  not  have  asked  you  to  divulge  what 
you  saw.  In  fact,  Toppleton,  as  you  have 
probably  seen  for  yourself,  I  have  all  along 
under-estimated  your  abilities,  which  do  not,  I 
confess,  show  up  as  advantageously  as  they 
might.  You  Americans  are  a  cleverer  people 


236  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

than  you  appear  to  be,  and  you  have  a  faculty 
of  dissemblance  that  is  baffling  to  us  in  the 
older  world,  who  have  acquired  candour  through 
our  conceit.  We  are  so  conscious  of  our 
superiority  and  ultimate  ability  to  gain  the 
upper  hand  in  all  that  we  undertake,  that  we 
do  not  consider  it  necessary  to  cloak  our  real 
feelings.  The  whole  world  speaks  of  the  Briton's 
brutal  frankness,  and  speaks  justly.  We  are 
candid  often  against  our  best  interests.  We 
are  impulsively  frank  where  you  Americans  are 
diplomatically  reserved.  It  is  this  trait  in  my 
people  that  makes  it  difficult  for  our  Govern 
ment  to  find  suitable  diplomats  to  fill  the  various 
foreign  missions  that  must  be  filled,  while  your 
Government  finds  it  difficult  to  find  missions 
for  all  the  diplomats  who  must  be  provided  for. 
We  have  to  train  our  Ministers  and  Ambassadors 
in  the  hard  school  of  experience,  as  attaches  to 
legations,  while  you  have  only  to  go  to  your 
newspaper  offices,  to  your  great  political  or 
ganizations,  or  to  your  flourishing  business  con 
cerns  to  find  all  the  Envoys  Extraordinary  you 
need  with  a  comfortable  reserve  force  standing 
always  ready  to  step  into  any  shoes  that  death, 
advancement,  or  revulsion  of  popular  sentiment 
may  make  vacant.  You  are  a  great  people  ; 
greater  far  than  you  seem  on  the  surface,  and 
it  is  this  fact,  unheeded  by  me  who  should  have 


BARNCASTLE   CONFIDES    IN    HOPKINS.       237 

known  better,  that  deceived  me.  I  judged  you 
from  the  standpoint  of  your  exterior  ;  I  saw 
that  you  were  a  character,  but  beyond  the  green 
umbrella  and  carpet-bag  indications  I  failed  to 
look,  and  I  thought  I  might  safely  venture  the 
act  which  has  come  so  nearly  to  my  undoing. 
I  see  you  now  as  you  are.  I  apologize  for 
underrating  your  ability,  and  I  say  to  you 
frankly,  that  I  rejoice  all  the  more  greatly  in 
your  proffered  friendship  since  I  have  come  to 
see  that  it  is  an  honour  not  lightly  to  be  worn." 

"  My  dear  Barncastle,"  ejaculated  Hopkins, 
breathless  with  wonder  and  pride.  "  I  assure 
you  that  your  words  overwhelm  me.  Your 
kind  heart,  I  fear,  has  led  you  into  over 
estimating  my  poor  character  as  much  as  you 
claim  to  have  under-estimated  it.  I  am  by  no 
means  all  that — " 

"  Ah,  Toppleton  !  "  said  Barncastle,  "  let  us 
not  waste  words.  I  know  you  as  you  are  at 
last,  and  you  need  cloak  your  real  self  from  me 
no  more.  I  feared  for  an  instant  that  you 
might  be  my  enemy,  though  why  you  should  be 
I  do  not  know,  and  to  have  you  read  my  secret 
as  though  it  were  printed  upon  an  open  page 
before  you,  filled  my  soul  with  terror.  You 
have  found  me  out,  but  you  do  not  and  you 
cannot  know  what  has  brought  me  to  this  unless 
I  tell  you,  and  I  must  insist  that  you  become 


238  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

acquainted  with  my  story,  that  you  may  the 
better  judge  of  my  innocence  in  the  matter. 
When  I  have  told  you  this  story,  I  wish  to  exact 
from  you  a  promise  never  to  reveal  it,  for  once 
revealed  it  would  be  my  ruin." 

"  I  do  not  wish,  my  dear  Barncastle,"  said 
Toppleton,  burning  with  anxiety  to  hear  the 
other's  story,  and  yet  desirous  of  appearing  un 
concerned  in  order  that  Barncastle  might  throw 
himself  unreservedly  in  his  hands.  "  I  have  no 
desire  to  pry  into  another  man's  secrets,  to 
wrest  unwilling  confidences  from  any  man.  If 
I  have  discovered  one  of  your  secrets,  I  have 
done  so  unwittingly,  and  I  do  not  wish  you  to 
feel  that  I  am  holding  you  up,  to  use  one  of  our 
Western  expressions,  for  confidences.  Keep 
your  secret  if  it  is  one  you  wish  to  hold  inviolate. 
I  shall  never  tell  what  I  have  seen  or  what  you 
have  said  to  me." 

"  You  are  a  generous,  high-minded  person, 
Toppleton.  A  poet  at  soul  and  a  gentleman  as 
well ;  but  you  must  hear  my  story,  for  it  is  my 
justification  in  your  eyes,  and  that  is  as  necessary 
to  my  happiness,  now  that  I  know  you  for  the 
man  you  are,  as  justification  in  the  eyes  of  the 
world  would  become  were  the  world  to  suspect 
what  you  have  seen.  I  did  not  mind  any 
portion  of  what  you  said  at  the  table  to-night, 
Toppleton,  until  you  delivered  yourself  of  the 


BARNCASTLE   CONFIDES   IN   HOPKINS.      239 

opinion  that  the  soul  of  a  man  of  a  hundred  and 
more  years  was  dwelling  in  this  body  of  mine,  a 
body  many  years  younger.  Mr.  Toppleton,  I  do 
not  want  you  to  thinkme  mad.  I  want  you  to 
believe  me  when  I  say  that  what  you  saw  is 
absolutely  a  fact.  My  soul  has  lived  precisely 
one  hundred  and  twenty-six  years,  my  body 
sixty-one  !  " 

Toppleton's  expression  of  surprise  as  Barn- 
castle  spoke  would  have  done  credit  to  a 
tragedian  of  the  highest  rank. 

"  Excuse  me,  Barncastle,"  he  said,  kindly. 
"  I  really  think  you'd  better  let  me  send  for 
Lady  Alice  and  have  the  family  physician  sum 
moned.  Your  mind  is  somewhat  affected." 

"  Come  with  me,"  said  Barncastle,  rising 
from  his  chair  and  leading  Toppleton  out 
through  the  door  into  and  along  the  hallway 
until  they  reached  his  private  apartment.  "  I 
want  you  on  entering  this  room  to  swear  never 
to  divulge  what  you  shall  see  within,  for  I  shall 
prove  the  truth  of  my  assertion  respecting  my 
soul  before  you  leave  it,  and,  Toppleton,  the 
maintenance  of  my  secret  is  a  matter  of  life  and 
death  to  me." 

"  Of  course,  my  lord,  I  shall  not  tell  anyone 
of  this  interview  except  for  your  good.  It  is 
truly  painful  to  me,  for  in  spite  of  your  apparent 
clearness  of  head  I  cannot  help  feeling  that  the 


240  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

excitement  of  this  evening,  together  with  the 
responsibilities  a  man  of  your  position  must 
necessarily  assume,  have  made  you  feverish  and 
slightly  delirious." 

"  I  shall  dispel  all  such  ideas  as  that,"  said 
Barncastle,  opening  the  door  and  ushering 
Hopkins  into  his  room.  "  Pray  be  seated,"  he 
said,  "  and  do  not  leave  your  seat  until  I  request 
you  to." 

"  I  hear  and  obey,"  quoted  Toppleton,  his 
mind  reverting  to  the  Arabian  Tales,  the  splen 
dour  of  his  surroundings  and  the  generally  un 
canny  quality  of  his  experience  reminding  him 
forcibly  of  the  land  of  the  Genii. 

"  I  am  going  to  prove  to  you  now,"  said 
Barncastle,  "  that  what  I  have  said  about  my 
soul  is  true.  Excuse  me  for  being  absent  from 
the  room  for  just  five  minutes,  and  also  pardon 
me  if  I  extinguish  the  light  here.  Darkness  is 
necessary  to  convince  you  that  what  I  say  is 
truth ;  and,  above  all,  Toppleton,  look  to  your 
nerves." 

Barncastle  suited  his  action  to  his  words. 
He  extinguished  the  light  and  disappeared.  In 
five  minutes,  during  which  time  Hopkins  sat  in 
the  inky  darkness  alone  trying  to  formulate  a 
plan  for  future  action,  a  panel  in  the  wainscot 
was  moved  softly  to  one  side  and  Toppleton 
found  himself  face  to  face  with  the  fiend. 


BARNCASTLE    CONFIDES   IN    HOPKINS.      241 

For  a  moment  he  was  numb  with  fear,  but 
when  the  green  shadow  moved  toward  him  and 
spoke  in  soft  insinuating  tones  and  appeared  to 
fear  him  quite  as  much  as  he  feared  it,  his 
courage  returned. 

"  What  the  deuce  is  this  ?  "  he  cried,  spring 
ing  to  his  feet. 

"  I  am  the  soul  of  Barncastle.  Barncastle 
lies  prostrate  as  in  death  in  the  den  beyond  the 
wall.  I  am  also  the  soul  of  Horace  Calderwood 
who  died  forty-five  years  ago  at  the  age  of 
eighty,  whose  body  lies  buried  in  the  yard  of 
Monckton  Chapel,  at  Kennelly  Manor,  Kent." 

"What  is  the  meaning  of  it — how — how  has 
it  come  that  you — that  you  are  here  ?  "  cried 
Hopkins,  with  well-feigned  terror.  "What 
awful  power  have  you  that  you  can  leave  your 
body  and  appear  as  you  do  now  ?  " 

"  Calm  yourself,  Toppleton.  There  is  no 
awful  power  about  it,"  said  the  fiend.  "  It 
is  a  simple  enough  matter  when  you  under 
stand  it.  I  am  simply  an  immortal  soul  with 
mortal  cravings.  I  love  this  world.  It  delights 
me  to  live  in  this  sphere,  and  it  is  given  to  the 
soul  to  return  here  if  it  sees  fit.  That  is  what 
makes  heaven  heaven.  The  soul  is  free  to  do 
whatsoever  it  wills." 

"  But  how  is  it,"  said  Toppleton,  "  that  this 
has  never  happened  before  ?  " 

R 


242  TOPPLETON'S   CLIENT. 

"  It  has  happened  before.  It  is  happening 
all  the  time,  only  you  mortals  never  find  it  out. 
You  want  instances  ?  The  soul  of  Macchiavelli 
returned  to  earth  and  entered  the  body  of  a 
Jew ;  result,  Beaconsfield.  The  soul  of  Caesar 
returned  to  earth  and  entered  the  body  of  a 
puny  Corsican  ;  result,  Bonaparte.  The  soul 
of  Horace  returned  to  earth  and  entered  the 
body  of  an  English  boy  ;  therefore,  Thackeray. 
The  soul  of  Diogenes  returned  to  earth  and  en 
tered  the  body  of  another  English  boy ;  result, 
Thomas  Carlyle.  Six  souls,  those  of  Terence, 
Plato,  ^sculapius,  Cicero,  Caesar,  Chaucer, 
combined  and,  returning  to  earth,  took  posses 
sion  of  the  body  of  a  wayward  child  of  Warwick 
shire  ;  whence,  Shakespeare." 

"  And  the  real  souls  of  these  men  ?  "  cried 
Hopkins. 

"  Became  a  part  of  space,  and  still  so  remain. 
How  else  account  for  the  evolution  of  genius  ? 
Did  you  ever  know  a  genius  in  his  infancy  ?  " 

"  No ;  I  can't  say  that  I  ever  did,"  said 
Toppleton. 

"  Well,  with  very  rare  exceptions  geniuses  are 
the  stupidest  of  babies,  or,  supposing  that  in 
youth  they  give  great  promise,  the  valedictorian 
of  his  college  class  ends  his  life  oftener  than  not 
without  distinction,  a  third-rate  lawyer,  perhaps 
a  poor  doctor,  a  prosy  clergyman,  or  as  Mrs* 


BARNCASTLE   CONFIDES   IN   HOPKINS.      243 

Somebody's  husband.  The  man  who  is  gradu 
ated  at  the  foot  of  his  class  has  oftener  won  the 
laurels  than  he.  How  is  it  accounted  for  ? 
How  did  Keats,  son  of  a  stableman,  become  the 
sweetest  of  our  sonneteers  ?  In  your  own 
country,  how  did  Lincoln  and  Grant  spring 
from  nothing  to  greatness  ?  Was  the  germ  of 
greatness  discoverable  in  them  in  their  youth  ? 
Would  the  most  reckless  of  prophets  have  dared 
assert  that  the  heavy  tanner's  boy  would  become 
the  immortal  hero  of  the  Wilderness,  the  saviour 
of  the  Republic,  the  uncrowned  ruler  of  fifty 
millions  of  people  even  with  a  thousand  years 
of  life  to  live  ?  I  tell  you,  Toppleton,  the 
mystery  of  this  life  is  more  mysterious  than 
you  think.  There  are  things  happening  every 
minute  of  the  day,  every  second  of  the  minute, 
the  knowledge  of  which  would  drive  a  mortal 
mind — that  is,  a  mind  which  has  never  put  on 
immortality  by  passing  into  the  other  world — 
to  despair." 

"  But,  Barncastle,"  said  Hopkins,  his  knees 
growing  weak  and  his  blood  running  cold,  this 
time  in  actual  terror,  "  how  comes  it  that  I,  a 
mortal,  inspire  you,  an  immortal,  with  fear, 
as  you  claim  I  have  done  ?  " 

"  There  is  a  point  beyond  which  an  immortal 
mind    cannot   with    safety   indulge   in    mortal 
habiliments.      Have  you  never   observed  how 
R    a 


244  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

men  of  genius  outlive  their  genius  ?  Did 
Bonaparte  die  at  the  height  of  his  glory  ?  Did 
Grant  die  at  the  zenith  of  his  power  ?  " 

"  D'Israeli  did." 

"  D'Israeli  embodied  Macchiavelli,  and  Mac- 
chiavelli  made  no  mistakes.  I  have  made  a 
mistake.  I  have  lived  too  long  as  Barncastle, 
and  every  day  beyond  the  day  on  which  I 
should  have  left  this  body  has  lessened  my 
greatness,  my  power,  until  I  am  become  as 
weak  as  though  I  had  never  put  on  immortality. 
It  is  my  craving  to  be  among  men,  that  has 
been  my  weakening,  if  not  my  ruin.  The  love 
of  contact  with  mankind  is  as  strong  with  me 
as  is  the  love  of  drink  with  others.  I  cannot 
give  it  up." 

"  And  the  poor  soul  whose  place  you  took  ?  " 
said  Toppleton. 

"  Don't  speak  of  him,"  said  the  fiend.  "  I 
have  made  his  name  a  great  one.  I  have 
suffered  more  than  he  in  my  efforts  to  lift  his 
personality  to  a  plane  it  would  never  have 
reached  had  he  been  left  to  go  his  own  way,  to 
occupy  his  own  person.  He  is  my  debtor, 
Toppleton.  I  have  no  feelings  of  regret  for 
him.  I  went  to  him  in  a  spirit  of  fairness  and 
honesty,  and  offered  to  make  him  a  famous  man. 
He  declined  the  offer.  I  assumed  the  risk  of 
compelling  him,  and  after  the  first  compulsion 


BARNCASTLE    CONFIDES   IN    HOPKINS.      245 

he  was  acquiescent  but  not  candid.  When 
Horace  Calderwood  died,  and  I,  his  soul,  for 
the  first  time  learned  that  it  was  possible  for  a 
spirit  to  return  to  earth  and  do  these  things, 
the  idea  of  depriving  a  fellow-soul  of  material 
existence  was  repellent  to  me,  and  seemed  not 
to  be  strictly  honest.  He  should  enjoy,  it 
seemed  to  me,  something  more  than  the  con 
sciousness  of  his  greatness.  He  should  be  per 
mitted  to  taste  in  proprid  persona  the  delights 
of  fame.  And  I  resolved  that  I  would  not  do 
as  these  others  before  me  had  done,  and  drive 
the  real  spirit  of  my, — ah — well,  call  him  my 
victim  if  you  choose — I  resolved  that  I  would 
not  drive  the  real  spirit  of  my  victim  out  into 
space,  leaving  him  to  sigh  and  bewail  his 
unhappy  estate  throughout  all  eternity.  My 
plan  was  to  go  shares.  To  assume  possession 
only  so  far  as  was  necessary  to  insure  the 
winning  of  the  laurel ;  to  let  the  other  return  to 
his  corporeal  estate  in  hours  of  leisure.  I 
should  have  continued  of  this  mind  until  to 
day  had  I  not  had  the  misfortune  to  select  for 
my  operations  an  uncandid  person,  who  had  no 
genius,  save  that  for  tearing  down  what  I  was 
up-building.  It  became  necessary  for  me  to 
exile  him  for  ever  to  save  him  from  himself. 
He  had  been  made  a  great  man,  and  had  I 
deserted  him  he  would  have  become  a  con- 


246  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

spicuous  failure  ;  his  name  would  have  been 
disgraced  in  proportion  to  the  greatness  it  had 
had  thrust  upon  it,  and  the  soul  of  that  one 
would  have  lived  a  life  of  humiliation  and 
misery.  What  I  did  was  the  humane  thing. 
I  exiled  him  from  himself,  and  I  have  no  regrets 
for  having  done  so." 

"  Well,  of  course,"  said  Toppleton,  "  you 
know  more  about  it  than  I  do,  but  it  seems  to 
me  it's  a  mighty  rough  thing  to  condemn  a  soul 
to  perpetual  existence  on  this  earth  deprived  of 
the  only  means  which  can  put  him  in  a  position 
to  enjoy  that  life.  If  you  are  not  joking  with 
me,  Barncastle,  and  your  present  appearance  is 
pretty  good  proof  that  you  are  not,  it  seems  to 
me  that  you  have  been  guilty  of  a  wrong, 
although  your  reasons  for  believing  that  you 
have  done  right  are  worthy  of  consideration.  It 
strikes  me  that  an  omniscient,  such  as  you  pre 
tended  to  be,  ought  not  to  have  been  bothered 
by  the  lack  of  candour  of  a  purely  finite  mind  ; 
and,  after  all,  it  was  but  a  bit  of  superb  conceit 
on  your  part  to  think  that  you  could  do  things 
differently  from  those  who  had  gone  before  you." 

"  But  my  motive,  Toppleton.  Credit  me 
with  a  proper  motive,"  pleaded  the  fiend. 

"  Yes,  I  do,"  said  Hopkins.  "  But  out  in  the 
Rocky  Mountains,  my  lord,  we  have  lynched 
several  thieves  who  stole  to  keep  their  families 


BARNCASTLE   CONFIDES   IN    HOPKINS.      247 

from  starving.  Their  motives  were  all  right,  but 
they  were  suspended  just  the  same.  But  let 
me  ask  you  one  question.  To  what  extent  do 
you  retain  that  remarkable  omniscient  quality  ? 
I  want  to  know,  for  candidly,  much  as  I 
admire  you,  Barncastle,  it  rather  awes  me  to 
think  that  you  can  penetrate  to  the  innermost 
recesses  of  my  brain — " 

"  I  can  no  longer  do  that,"  said  Barncastle. 
"  My  power  through  long  confinement  to  mortal 
habitations  has  materially  lessened,  as  I  have 
already  told  you.  Do  you  suppose,  my  dear 
sir,  that,  were  it  not  so,  I  should  be  here,  at 
this  moment,  unbosoming  myself  to  you,  and 
begging  you  in  the  name  of  humanity  never  to 
utter  one  word  of  what  has  passed  between  us  ? 
Do  you  think  that  I,  who  was  once  able  to 
destroy  a  mortal's  reason  by  one  glance  of  my 
eye,  would  be  so  overcome  by  the  words  of  a 
mind-reading  -American  poet  if  I  still  had  the 
power  to  subject  his  will  to  mine  ?  " 

"  No  one  would  believe  me  were  I  to  tell  him 
your  horrible  secret,"  said  Hopkins.  "  Indeed, 
I  don't  know  that  I  believe  it  myself.  There  is, 
of  course  plenty  of  evidence  of  which  I  have 
had  ocular  demonstration,  but  this  may  be  all 
a  dream.  I  may  wake  up  to-morrow  and  find 
myself  in  my  hammock  in  Blue-bird  Gulch." 

"  No,  it  is  no  dream,"  said  the  fiend.     "  It  is 


248  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

all  too  real,  but  you  will  not  expose  me,  Topple- 
ton.  There  are  those  who  would  believe  it, 
some  who  half  suspect  me  even  now  would  gain 
re-enforcement  in  their  suspicions.  My"  daughter 
would  be  shocked  beyond  expression  and — " 

"  That,  my  lord,"  said  Hopkins  "is  your  con 
vincing  argument.  Lady  Alice's  peace  of  mind 
must  be  held  inviolate, -and  I  shall  be  dumb; 
but  I  think  you  might  let  the  exiled  spirit  enter 
once  more  into  bodily  life.  The  allotted  days  of 
the  body  you  have  wrested  from  him  must  be 
growing  few  in  number.  Why  not  atone  for 
the  past  by  admitting  him  once  more  ?  " 

"  There  are  two  reasons,  Toppleton,"  said 
Barncastle,  fixing  his  eye  with  great  intensity 
upon  Hopkins,  who  maintained  his  composure 
with  great  difficulty.  "  In  the  first  place,  there 
are  responsibilities  which  still  devolve  upon 
the  Lord  of  Burningford  which  he  would  be 
utterly  unable  to  assume.  You  might  assume 
them,  for  you  are  a  clever  man.  You  have  the 
making  of  a  brilliant  man  in  you,  but  he  has 
not,  and  never  will  have.  He  is  the  most 
pusillanimous  soul  in  the  universe,  and  with 
him  in  charge,  that  body  would  die  in  less  than 
six  months.  In  the  second  place  I  have  lost 
sight  of  him  of  late  years,  or  rather  lost  con 
sciousness  of  him,  for  he  has  been  visible  at  no 
time  since  he  departed  from  his  normal  con- 


BARNCASTLE    CONFIDES    IN    HOPKINS.       249 

dition,  and  since  the  day  of  my  marriage,  whose 
happiness  he  made  a  mad  public  endeavour  to 
destroy,  I  have  had  no  dealings  with  him. 
Where  he  is  now,  I  have  not  the  slightest  idea." 

"Well,  I  know!"  ejaculated  Toppleton,  for 
getting  himself  and  throwing  caution  to  the 
winds. 

"  You  know  what  ?  Where  he  is  ?  "  returned 
the  fiend,  with  a  look  that  restored  Toppleton's 
senses  and  showed  him  that  he  had  made  a 
mistake. 

"  Oh,  no  !  "  he  replied,  his  face  getting  red 
with  confusion.  "  Oh,  no,  not  that.  You  inter 
rupted  me.  I  was  going  to  say  that  I  know — 
er — I  know  how  difficult  your — er — your  posi 
tion  is  in  the  matter,  and — er — that  I  hardly 
knew  what  to  advise." 

"  Ah  !  "  returned  the  fiend,  with  a  smile  that 
to  Toppleton's  eyes  betokened  relief.  "  You 
have  taken  a  load  off  my  mind.  Do  you  know, 
my  dear  fellow,  that  for  one  instant  I  half 
believed  that  you  really  knew  of  the  original 
Chatford's  whereabouts,  and  that  perhaps  you 
were  in  league  with  him  against  me.  I  see, 
however,  how  unfounded  the  impression  was." 

"  How  could  you  suspect  me  of  that  ?  "  said 
Toppleton,  reproachfully,  his  heart  beating 
wildly  at  the  narrowness  of  the  escape.  "But 
you  don't  intend  to  let  him  back  ?  " 


250  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"Not  if  I  can  help  myself,  Toppleton,"  said 
the  fiend.  "  I  shall  hang  on  here  as  long  as  I 
can,  not  only  for  my  own  sake  and  for  that  of  my 
daughter,  but  also  for  the  peace  of  mind  of  the 
exiled  soul.  You  will  respect  my  confidence, 
will  you  not  ?  " 

"  I  shall,  Barncastle.  You  may  count  on 
me,"  said  Toppleton. 

"  Good.  Now  I  will  resume  the  mortal 
habitation  for  which  I  have  so  long  been  a 
trustee,  and  we  can  rejoin  the  ladies." 

Ten  minutes  later  Barncastle  and  the  Poet 
of  the  Rockies  entered  the  drawing-room. 

"  Did  you  enjoy  your  walk,  Mr.  Toppleton  ?  " 
queried  Lady  Alice. 

"Well,  I  guess!"  returned  Toppleton. 
"  Your  father  has  one  of  the  finest  estates  I 
have  ever  seen  since  I  left  Colorado,  and  as  for 
your  moon,  it  fairly  out-moons  any  moon  I've 
seen  in  the  Rockies  in  all  my  life." 

"  It's  the  same  moon  that  everybody  else 
has,"  said  the  Duchess  of  Bangletop  with  a 
smile. 

"  Yes,  Duchess,"  returned  Toppleton,  sitting 
beside  her.  "  But  you've  furnished  it  better 
than  we  have.  That  Barbundle  River  gives  it  a 
setting  beside  which  the  creek  in  Blue-bird 
Gulch  is  as  a  plate-glass  window  to  a  sea  of 
diamonds." 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

MR.    HOPKINS  TOPPLETON    MAKES  A  DISCOVERY. 

IT  is  hardly  to  be  wondered  at  that  Toppleton 
did  not  sleep  much  that  night  at  Barncastle 
Hall.  The  state  of  his  nerves  was  not  calculated 
to  permit  him  to  sleep  even  had  he  been 
willing  to  do  so.  The  experiences  of  the  day 
were  not  of  a  nature  to  give  him  such  confidence 
in  his  surroundings  as  would  have  enabled  him 
to  woo  rest  with  a  serene  sense  of  safety. 
Furthermore,  it  was  his  desire  to  push  his 
endeavour  through  to  as  immediate  a  conclusion 
as  was  possible,  and  time  was  too  precious  to 
waste  in  rest.  Hence  it  was  that  the  dawning 
of  another  day  found  him  utterly  fagged  out, 
awake,  and  still  meditating  upon  the  means 
most  likely  to  crown  his  efforts  with  success. 

"  I  am  afraid,"  he  said,  as  he  turned  the 
matter  over  and  over  in  his  mind,  "  I  am  afraid 
it's  going  to  be  a  harder  task  than  I  thought. 
My  plan  has  worked  admirably  up  to  a  certain 
point,  but  there  it  has  ceased  to  result  as  I  had 


252  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

anticipated.  He  is  frightened,  that  is  certain  ; 
but  he  cannot  be  frightened  into  a  restitution. 
He  is  too  selfish  to  give  up  Chatford's  body 
and  take  his  chances  of  getting  another,  and 
his  rather  natural  distrust  of  Chatford's  ability 
to  sustain  the  greatness  of  the  name  of  Barn- 
castle  re-enforces  his  selfishness.  I  can't 
blame  him  either.  I  haven't  a  doubt  that 
Chatford's  spirit  would  prove  too  weak  to 
keep  the  body  going  a  year  at  the  outside,  and 
yet  it  is  his,  and  he  ought  to  have  it.  He  ought 
to — have — " 

Here  wearied  Nature  asserted  herself,  and 
Hopkins'  head  dropped  back  on  the  soft  cushion 
of  his  couch,  and  he  lost  consciousness  in  a 
sleep  that  knew  no  dreams. 

The  morning  hours  passed  away  and  still  he 
slept.  Afternoon  gave  place  to  night,  and  as 
the  moon  rose  over  the  Barbundle  and  bathed 
the  beautiful  scene  as  with  silver,  Hopkins 
opened  his  eyes  again  and  looked  about  him. 
He  was  annoyed  to  find  that  his  vision  had  in 
some  manner  become  slightly  obscured ;  he 
seemed  to  see  everything  through  a  faint 
suggestion  of  a  haze,  and  an  object  ten  feet 
distant  that  he  remembered  admiring  as  he  lay 
on  his  couch  the  afternoon  before,  its  every 
detail  clear  cut  and  distinct  to  the  eye,  was 
now  a  confused  jumble  of  lines  only,  suggestive 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.         253 

of  nothing  in  particular,  though  the  moonlight 
streaming  in  through  the  window  shone  directly 
upon  it. 

"  Dear  me !  "  he  said,  passing  his  hands  over 
his  eyes  as  if  to  sweep  away  the  filmy  web  that 
interfered  with  his  sight.  "  I  seem  to  have  a 
slight  vertigo,  and  yet  I  cannot  understand  why 
I  should.  I  hardly  drank  anything  last  night, 
and  as  for  what  I  ate  it  was  simplicity  itself. 
But  I  wonder  how  long  I  have  been  asleep  ; 
let  me  see."  Here  he  consulted  his  watch,  the 
great  silver  timepiece  he  had  brought  with  him. 

"Humph,"  he  said;  "half-past  seven.  I 
must  have  slept  nearly  thirteen  hours  ;  unlucky 
number  that.  No  wonder  I  have  vertigo." 

He  rose  from  the  couch  and  walked,  or 
rather  tottered,  to  the  window  to  look  out  upon 
the  beautifully  serene  Barbundle. 

"  Mercy  !  How  weak  I  am  !  "  he  cried,  grasp 
ing  the  sill  for  support.  "  This  trouble  seems 
to  have  gone  to  my  knees  as  well.  I  can  hardly 
stand,  and — ow — there  is  a  touch  of  rheumatism 
in  my  right  arm  !  I  shall  have  to  ring  for 
Parker  to  bring  me  a  little  resolution  in  the 
form  of  a  stiff  horn  of  whiskey.  These  old 
English  homes  I'm  afraid  are  a  little  damp." 

He  touched  the  bell  at  the  side  of  the  doorway 
and  staggered  back  to  the  couch,  falling  upon  it 
in  a  heap  in  sheer  weakness,  and  as  he  did  so 


254  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

he  again  became  conscious  of  someone  gazing 
at  him  from  the  other  side  of  the  room,  and  as 
he  looked,  the  fiend  in  his  emerald  disembodi 
ment  took  shape  and  approached  him. 

"  Ah,  Barncastle,"  said  Toppleton,  to  whom 
custom  had  rendered  the  fiend's  appearance  less 
terrible.  "  I  am  glad  to  see  you.  I'm  afraid  I 
am  ill.  I  have  the  most  unaccountable  weak 
ness  in  my  knees.  My  eyesight  seems  to  have 
grown  dim,  and  I  am  conscious  of  my  head 
which  is  really  a  new  sensation  to  me.  I  wish 
you'd  send  your  butler  up  here  with  some 
whiskey." 

"  All  right,  I'll  send  him,"  returned  the  fiend 
with,  or  so  it  seemed  to  Toppleton,  a  lack  of 
friendly  interest  in  his  tone  which  rather 
surprised  him,  for  Barncastle  had  hitherto  been 
the  quintessence  of  politeness.  "  I  fancy  you'll 
be  better  in  the  morning ;  and  between  you  and 
me  I'd  let  whiskey  alone.  Brandy  and  soda  is 
my  drink,  and  I  think  it  will  do  you  more  good 
in  your  present  state  than  whiskey." 

"  Very  well,  Barncastle,"  Hopkins  began. 

"  Don't  call  me  Barncastle,"  returned  the 
fiend,  impatiently.  "  Your  discovery  of  my 
secret  has  made  all  that  intolerable  to  me,  and 
I  intend  hereafter  to  spend  as  little  of  my  time 
in  that  form  as  is  consistent  with  propriety.  I 
did  not  realize  until  you  came  here  how  long 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.          255 

confinement  within  anatomical  limits  had  weak 
ened  my  powers,  and  to  find  myself  at  this  period 
of  my  existence  almost,  if  not  quite,  as  incom 
petent  to  meet  the  grave  crises  of  life  as  any 
mortal,  is  galling  in  the  extreme.  Call  me  any 
thing  you  please,  but  drop  Barncastle." 

"  Very  well,"  again  replied  Toppleton.  "  I 
will  call  you  my  friend  Greene." 

"  Humorous  to  the  last,  Toppleton,"  laughed 
the  fiend.  "  That's  a  truly  American  charac 
teristic.  I  believe  you'll  jest  with  your  dying 
breath." 

"Quite  likely,"  said  Hopkins,  lightly. 
"That  is  if  I  ever  draw  it." 

"  Ah  !  Have  you  discovered  an  Elixir  of 
Life,  then  ?  "  queried  the  fiend. 

"  Not  yet,"  returned  Hopkins.  "  But  I  am 
sure  I  cannot  see  why,  with  your  assistance,  I 
should  not  do  so.  If  you  know  all  the  secrets 
of  the  universe,  I  think  you  might  confide  at 
least  one  of  them  to  me,  and  the  only  one  I 
ask  is,  what  shall  I  do  to  live  for  ever  ?  " 

"You  are  an  insinuating  young  man,"  re 
turned  the  fiend.  "  And  I  must  say  I  like  you, 
Toppleton,  in  spite  of  your  abominable  poetry, 
for  now  I  am  going  to  be  candid  with  you." 

"  So  much,  then,  is  gained,"  said  Hopkins, 
cheerfully.  "  If  you  like  me,  give  me  the 
recipe  of  life." 


256  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

"  I  would,  my  boy,"  the  fiend  replied  with 
a  harsh  laugh,  "  I  would  do  it  gladly,  if  I 
hadn't  forgotten  it.  Some  day  I  shall  take  a 
day  off  from  these  mundane  operations  of  mine, 
and  return  to  the  spirit  vale  and  freshen  up 
my  formulae.  Then  perhaps  I  can  help  you. 
But  I  have  something  very  important  to  say  to 
you,  and  if  you  will  come  with  me 'to  my  own 
quarters  I  will  say  it.  This  room  is  too  chilly 
for  a  spirit  with  nothing  on." 

Toppleton  readily  acquiesced.  His  other 
sensations  had  been  so  acute  since  his  awaken 
ing,  that  he  did  not  realize  until  the  fiend 
spoke  of  the  chill  in  the  atmosphere  that  he 
was  himself  cold  to  the  very  marrow  of  his 
bones ;  that  his  blood  seemed  hardly  to  run  in 
his  veins,  so  congealed  had  it  become.  He 
followed  the  fiend,  who  led  the  way  from 
Toppleton's  room  to  Barncastle's  own  quarters, 
where  a  log  fire  blazed  fiercely  on  the  hearth. 
There  was  no  other  light  than  that  of  the  fire 
in  the  room,  and  Hopkins  was  glad  of  it,  his 
eyes  were  too  weary  for  any  illumination  save 
the  one  which  made  the  darkness  in  which  he 
now  sat  even  blacker  than  was  natural. 

11  Lie  down  there  on  my  bed,  Toppleton," 
said  the  fiend.  "  Lie  down  and  listen  to 
me." 

Toppleton  obeyed,  and  gladly. 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.         257 

"  You  are  a  sick  man,"  began  the  fiend, 
"  though  you  may  not  know  it.  You  have  no 
more  than  an  even  chance  of  living  beyond  this 
night.  If  you  do  live  until  to-morrow  morning 
I  see  no  reason  why  you  should  not  continue  to 
do  so  for  many  years  to  come  ;  in  fact  I  confi 
dently  anticipate  that  such  will  be  the  case,  but 
you  have  got  to  be  careful." 

"  If  you  were  not  one  of  the  supernatural 
element,  Mr.  Greene,"  said  Toppleton,  ner 
vously  tapping  his  fingers  together,  "  I  should 
be  inclined  to  laugh  at  your  notions  respecting 
my  health.  A  man  of  my  habits  and  physique 
doesn't  go  to  pieces  after  a  single  late  supper, 
to  be  brought  up  standing  at  the  doors  of 
death  uncertain  as  to  whether  he  will  be 
invited  in  or  requested  to  move  on,  all  in  a 
single  night." 

"  For  an  acute  man  you  are  an  obtuse  sort  of 
a  person,"  returned  the  fiend,  gravely.  "  I  do 
not  mean  that  you  are  in  immediate  danger 
of  physical  collapse,  though  that  will  come 
shortly  unless  you  take  care  of  yourself.  It  is  a 
worse  than  physical  death  that  I  refer  to.  You 
are  on  the  verge  of  intellectual  death,  Toppleton. 
You  need  twenty-four  hours  of  wakefulness  to 
put  you  in  an  insane  asylum,  an  incurable, 
hopelessly  mad  for  the  balance  of  your  days. 
You  remarked  a  moment  since  that  you  were 

s 


258  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

conscious  of  your  head.  By  that  you  meant 
that  you  felt  the  weight  of  it,  and  it  is  a  leaden 
weight  unless  my  eyes  deceive  me.  I  have 
experienced  it,  and  I  know  what  it  means." 

Hopkins'  face  blanched  as  the  fiend  spoke. 
It  was  too  easy  for  him  to  believe  all  that  had 
been  said ;  and  why  should  it  not  be  so,  he  asked 
himself.  Here  was  a  case  of  mortal  arrayed  in 
combat  against  a  supernatural  being,  and  in  the 
nature  of  things  it  was  a  contest  of  the  intellec 
tuals  and  not  one  of  the  sort  in  which  Topple- 
ton's  training  would  have  made  him  an  easy 
victor.  In  a  bout  at  arms  Barncastle  would 
have  been  a  prey  to  Toppleton  with  scarce  an 
effort  on  the  American's  part,  but  mind  for 
mind,  the  young  lawyer  was  fighting  against 
terrible  odds.  He  had  proven  to  a  very  con 
siderable  extent  a  winner,  and  yet  his  victory 
was  quite  as  hollow  as  the  victory  of  a  trotting 
horse  who  has  won  only  the  preliminary  heats 
and  still  has  the  final  test  to  undergo ;  but  to 
win  even  the  trial  heat  was  a  great  thing,  and 
that  his  mind  should  be  well-nigh  used  up  was 
to  have  been  expected.  Realizing  this,  and 
realizing  also  that  it  was  his  defeated  adversary 
who  was  advising  him  as  to  what  was  necessary 
to  be  done  for  the  preservation  of  his  sanity, 
he  was  quite  overcome.  He  nearly  fainted,  in 
fact  he  would  have  done  so  had  not  the  fiend 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.         259 

seeing  his  condition  applied  restoratives  to  his 
head  and  feet,  and  poured  between  his  open 
lips  a  concoction  which  made  every  drop  of 
blood  in  his  body  glow  as  with  health,  which 
imparted  strength  to  his  weary  limbs,  and 
which  seemed  to  clear  his  aching  head  with 
its  magical  potence. 

"  You  have  had  a  narrow  escape,  my  dear 
fellow,"  said  the  fiend,  as  Hopkins  revived. 
"  If  I  hadn't  saved  you,  you  would  have  stepped 
over  the  line." 

"  You — are — very — very  kind,"  murmured 
Hopkins,  raising  himself  on  his  elbow  and  then 
dropping  wearily  back  into  the  pillows  again. 
"  You  place  me  under  very  deep  obli — 

"  Don't  speak  of  that,"  said  the  fiend  with  a 
smile.  "The  obligation  you  have  placed  me 
under  is  still  greater.  But  now,  Toppleton, 
you  must  sleep,  or  you  will  be  beyond  all  hope 
to-morrow." 

"  I  will,"  said  Toppleton,  faintly,  and  then 
he  closed  his  eyes  and  consciousness  departed 
from  him. 

The  fiend  regarded  him  for  a  moment  and 
turned  away  with  a  sigh. 

"  If  I  had  had  the  good  fortune  to  operate 
on  you  instead  of  upon  Chatford,"  he  said, 
"well,  there'd  have  been  a  president  of  the 
United  States  in  your  family  by  this  time,  or, 

S   2 


260  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

better  still,  a  railway  king  with  an  amount  of 
brains  equal  to  the  possessions  of  the  best  of 
them.  Oh,  well !  he  wasn't  to  be  had,  and  I 
haven't  done  badly  with  Chatford." 

With  which  reflection  the  fiend  passed  from 
the  room,  and  left  Toppleton  breathing  heavily 
in  sleep. 

When  next  Toppleton  opened  his  eyes  con 
sciously  to  himself,  he  was  lying  on  a  great  oak 
bed  with  a  tapestry  canopy  over  his  head.  The 
sun  was  streaming  in  through  the  broad 
mullioned  windows.  The  world  without  was 
white  with  snow,  the  tall  evergreens  down  by 
the  now  ice-covered  Barbundle  presenting  the 
only  vestige  of  green  in  sight. 

"  Ah  !  "  he  sighed,  as  he  looked  wearily  out 
of  the  window.  "  We  shall  have  a  white 
Christmas  after  all,  but,"  he  added,  gazing 
about  him,  "  how  the  dickens  did  I  ever  come 
to  be  here,  I  wonder  ?  In  Barncastle's  own 
room — oh,  yes,  I  remember.  I  fell  asleep  here 
last  night  and  I  suppose  he  has — Hello ! — Who's 
that  ?  " 

The  last  words  were  addressed  to  whomso 
ever  it  was  that  entered  the  room  at  the  mo 
ment,  for  the  door  had  opened  and  closed  softly. 

"  It  is  I,"  came  a  soft,  sweet  voice,  and 
before  Hopkins  had  time  to  place  it,  Lady 
Alice  entered  the  room. 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.         26l 

"  Good  morning !  "  said  Toppleton,  slightly 
embarrassed  at  the  unexpected  appearance  of 
his  hostess. 

"  Good  morning  !  "  she  replied,  coming  to 
his  side  and  stroking  his  forehead  lightly. 
"  And  I  can  say  with  all  my  heart,  after  these 
awful  days  of  suspense,  that  it  is  a  good  morn 
ing.  You  have  been  very  ill." 

"  Oh,  it  was  nothing,"  said  Hopkins,  en 
deavouring  to  conceal  his  surprise  at  the  way 
things  were  going.  "  Only  a  little  headache 
and  rackety  feeling  generally.  It  will  pass  off. 
Barncastle  was  very  good  to  let  me  have  his 
quarters." 

Lady  Alice's  face  took  on  a  troubled  look. 

"  How  beautiful  it  is  out,"  said  Toppleton, 
turning  his  eyes  toward  the  snow-clad  landscape 
again.  "  I  was  just  thinking  that  we  should 
have  a  white  Christmas  after  all." 

"  Why,  my  dear,  Christmas  is  over  by  two 
weeks.  You  have  been  ill  here  for  three  weeks 
yesterday." 

"  What  ?  "  cried  Toppleton.     "  I  ?  " 

"Why,  certainly,"  said  Lady  Alice.  "-Of 
course,  you  didn't  know  it,  but  it  is  so.  You 
haven't  had  a  lucid  moment  in  all  that  time." 

A  sudden  fear  clutched  at  Toppleton's 
heart. 

"  But — but  tell  me,  have  I — what  do— what 


262  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

have  the  doctors  said — that  I  had  lost  my  mind, 
was  in  danger  of  a  living  death  ;  that — " 

"  Don't  get  so  excited,"  returned  Lady  Alice, 
softly,  still  retaining  the  look  of  anxiety  on  her 
face.  "  Here,  read  this.  It  is  a  letter  from 
your  Rocky  Mountain  friend,  I  think,  and  I 
fancy  it  will  amuse  you.  It  has  only  just 
come." 

"  My  Rocky  Mountain  friend  !  "  ejaculated 
Hopkins  under  his  breath.  "  What  devilish 
complication  does  this  mean,  I  wonder  ?  " 

"  Shall  I  open  it  for  you  ?  "  asked  Lady 
Alice. 

"Yes,"  said  Hopkins  mechanically  ;  "  I'll  be 
very  much  obliged  to  you  if  you  will  do  so. 
Thank  you,"  he  added,  staring  wildly  at  the 
foot  of  the  bed  as  the  young  woman  opened 
and  handed  him  the  letter. 

"  While  you  are  reading  it,"  said  she,  "  I'll 
run  downstairs  a  moment,  and  tell  Parker  to 
prepare  you  a  little  breakfast." 

"  You  are  very  kind,"  said  Toppleton,  faintly  ; 
and  then  as  Lady  Alice  went  softly  from  the 
room  he  began  to  read  the  letter.  "  *  17,  The 
Temple,  London,  January  2nd.  My  dear  Barn- 
castle — '  Why,  she  must  have  made  a  mistake," 
he  said ;  "  this  is  for  Barn — by  Jove  !  it's  in 
my  handwriting,  and  signed — Hopkins — Top — 
pie — ton.  What  in  the  name  of  Heav — " 


TOPPLETON   MAKES  A   DISCOVERY.         263 

Here  he  ceased  his  soliloquizing  and  began 
to  read  the  letter  which  was  as  follows  : — 

"  '  MY  DEAR  BARNCASTLE, — I  understood  your 
game  from  the  beginning.  It  was  audacious, 
but  unavailing,  as  the  attack  of  a  finite  upon  an 
infinite  mind  must  always  be.  I  led  you  on  to 
your  own  undoing  if  you  so  regard  it.  I  removed 
gladly  every  obstacle  from  your  path,  and  let  you 
think  in  your  own  conceit  that  you  were  an 
easy  victor  in  the  fight.  By  so  doing  I  put  your 
caution  asleep,  and  when  your  caution  slept  you 
became  a  victim  to  my  ambition  just  as  did 
Chatford,  with  this  exception,  that  I  have  left 
you  in  a  position  to  enjoy  life,  while  circum 
stances  made  it  necessary  for  me  to  place  him 
in  perpetual  exile.  Perhaps  when  you  get  this 
letter  and  realize  what  I  have  done,  you  will 
curse  me.  Do  not  do  so.  You  are  not  a  loser 
in  the  premises.  You  have  gained  the  Burn- 
ingford  estates,  you  have  gained  the  enjoyment 
of  the  honours  which  I  have  won,  at  the  ex 
pense  of  the  difference  of  strength  between  the 
body  I  have  put  off  and  this  one  of  yours  which 
I  now  occupy.  The  latter,  let  me  say  to  you, 
is  a  superb  specimen,  the  ideal  habitation  for 
a  soul  like  mine.  Aided  by  it  a  still  greater 
future  than  the  one,  to  be  paradoxical,  I  have 
left  behind  me,  will  be  mine,  and  not  mine  only, 
but  yours  also,  since  it  is  under  your  name  that 
my  future  greatness  is  to  be  achieved.  I  repeat, 
do  not  curse  me,  for  in  cursing  me  you  but 
curse  yourself,  and  when  you  get  over  the  first 
sensation  of  horror  at  the  changes  I  have 


264  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT 

wrought  in  our  respective  destinies,  and  can 
think  upon  it  calmly  and  dispassionately,  you 
will  not  find  me  so  much  to  blame.  Nor  are  you 
to  be  deprived  of  any  of  your  years  by  my  act. 
The  infusion  of  a  younger  spirit  into  the  corse 
of  Barncastle  will  make  it  young  again,  and 
gradually  you  will  recover  the  physical  ground 
you  now  seem  to  have  lost. 

"  I  sail  for  New  York  on  the  City  of  Paris  to 
morrow,  and  you  may  rest  assured  that  the 
name  that  now  flies  at  the  mast-head  in  the 
firm  of  Toppleton,  Morley,  Bronson,  Mawson, 
Perkins,  Harkins,  Smithers  and  Hicks  will  no 
longer  be  a  mere  figurehead,  a  minimum  among 
maxima ;  it  will  become  once  more  what 
it  used  to  be,  a  tower  of  strength  in  the  legal 
profession,  and,  permit  me  to  say,  a  tower  of 
such  height  that  beside  it  the  famous  structure 
erected  by  your  illustrious  father  will  become  but 
as  an  ant  hill  to  the  pyramid  of  Cheops. 

"  Good-bye,  Barncastle,  for  that  is  now  your 
name.  In  the  years  to  come  we  may  meet 
again,  and  when  we  do,  may  it  be  in  friendship, 
for  as  Barncastle  I  loved  myself,  and  as  Topple 
ton  I  love  you.  May  you  go  and  do  likewise, 
and  above  all,  give  up  masquerading  as  a 
Broncho  poet,  and  get  down  to  the  business  for 
which  you  were  fitted  by  nature,  if  not  by  birth  : 
that  of  a  member  of  the  noblest  aristocracy  in 
the  world  ;  that  of  a  peer  of  the  British  realm. 

"  Faithfully  yours, 

"  HOPKINS  TOPPLETON,  alias  BARNCASTLE, 
"  Ne  CALDERWOOD. 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.         265 

"  P.S. — I  have  had  an  interview  with  the 
original  Chatford,  and  have  informed  him  that 
it  is  impossible  for  him  to  return  to  his  former 
corporeal  state,  because  Barncastle  no  longer 
knows  the  formula  by  which  the  re-entrance 
can  be  effected,  which  is  true.  He  believes  it, 
and  has  gone  off  into  space  with  his  whistle 
and  his  sigh." 

For  a  moment  Toppleton  was  overcome.  This 
unexpected  denouement  was  almost  too  much 
for  him,  but  the  indignation  that  surged  up  in 
his  breast  gave  him  strength  to  withstand  the 
shock ;  and  then,  singular  to  relate,  he  laughed. 

"  To  think  that  I  should  be  born  a  Yankee 
and  at  my  time  of  life  become  a  peer  surrounded 
by  everything  that  wealth  can  procure,  and 
loaded  down  with  every  honour  that  man  can 
devise  ;  oh,  nonsense  !  it's  all  a  joke,  and  a 
good  one.  Barncastle  saw  through  my  trick, 
and  is  paying  me  back  in  my  own  coin." 

Here  Hopkins  laughed  till  the  room  echoed 
with  his  mirth,  and  as  his  laugh  died  away  the 
door  opened  and  the  heiress  of  Burningford 
entered. 

"  Why,  father !"  she  cried,  exultantly,  "do 
you  feel  as  well — " 

At  the  word  "  father,"  Hopkins'  heart  gave  a 
great  throb. 

"  My  dear,"  he  said  in  a  moment,  "  I  have 


266  TOPPLETON'S  CLIENT. 

been  ill  you  say  for  three  weeks,  and  with  no 
lucid  intervals  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  And  my  hallucination  was  what  ?  " 

"That  you  were  that  ridiculous  American 
poet." 

"  Bring  me  the  glass,  my  child,"  said  Hopkins, 
gravely.  "  I — I'd  just  like  to  see  my  face  in  the 
mirror." 

The  glass  was  brought  and  Hopkins  looked 
into  it.  The  face  of  Barncastle  in  very  truth 
gazed  back  at  him  from  its  silver  depths. 

"  Ah  !  "  he  said.  "  I  have  changed  ;  have  I 
not  ?  " 

"  Yes,  indeed,"  said  the  Lady  of  Burningford. 
"But  really  I  think  your  illness  has  done  you 
good,  for  I  do  believe  you  look  ten  years 
younger." 

"  It  is  well,"  said  the  new  Barncastle,  with  a 
sigh  of  resignation.  "  I  have  worked  too  hard. 
I  shall  now  retire  from  public  life  and  devote 
my  remaining  years  to — to  the  accomplishment 
of  my  one  great  ambition." 

"  And  what  is  that  ?  "  asked  his  daughter. 

"  To  becoming  a  leader  in  the  busy  world  of 
leisure,  my  child,"  said  Toppleton,  falling  back 
to  his  pillow  once  more,  and  again  losing  con 
sciousness  in  sleep. 

This  time  fortunately  the  sleep  was  that  of 


TOPPLETON    MAKES   A   DISCOVERY.         267 

one  who  had  fought  a  good  fight,  had  lost, 
but  whose  conscience  was  clear  ;  and  to  whom, 
after  many  days,  had  been  restored  a  sound 
mind  in  a  body  sound  enough  to  last  through 
many  years  of  unremitting  rest. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

EPILOGUE. 

A  SINGLE  year  has  passed  since  the  episode 
which  brought  our  last  chapter  to  a  close. 

The  "new  Barncastle  of  Burningford  is  well 
and  happy  in  the  paths  of  pleasantness  and 
peace,  into  which  he  was  so  unexpectedly  and 
so  unwittingly  brought.  His  daughter  has 
become  engaged  to  a  promising  scion  of  a 
neighbouring  house  'of  large  means  and  high 
estate  in  the  social  world.  Hopkins  Toppleton 
is  in  New  York,  busy  at  the  practice  of  the  law, 
developing  a  genius  in  the  profession  he  had 
adopted  for  the  convenience  of  his  partners  at 
which  they  stand  amazed  ;  steadily  forging  his 
way  to  the  front,  his  energy,  his  aggressiveness, 
and  extraordinary  fertility  of  resource  dazzling 
all  beholders. 

As  for  the  weary  spirit, — alas  for  him  !  He 
still  whistles,  wearily,  through  space,  hopeless 
and  forlorn,  but  at  all  times  a  welcome  visitor 


EPILOGUE.  269 

to  Burningford,  whither  he  personally  went, 
shortly  after  Toppleton's  departure  for  New 
York,  to  lay  his  petition  at  the  feet  of  Barn- 
castle  himself.  He  knows  now  what  has  hap 
pened  to  his  young  counsel,  and  his  regret  for 
himself  is  tempered  by  his  regret  for  what  he  has 
brought  upon  him  who  so  nobly  undertook  to 
champion  his  cause,  for  the  quondam  Topple- 
ton  has  concealed  from  his  first  client  the  hap 
piness  that  he  feels  over  the  strange  metamor 
phosis  in  his  fortunes,  lest,  comparing  it  with 
his  own  miserable  condition,  the  exile  may 
become  more  unhappy  than  ever. 


THE   END. 


Bangs,  J 


Toppleton 


957 
B216 
top 


s  client 


.EY 


912776 


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